I've come a long way
The past 4 years have been a learning and growing experience. Freshman and Sophomore years were spent just floating. Unfocused on the future and more focused on trivial things. I made decisions that may or may not have been the right ones but I've stuck with them all without regret. Going to Australia on my own was a step in the right direction. I learned how to manage myself and put to test all of the life lessons I was taught and to test my morals. I came home with a broader knowledge of what the world can offer and began to question my path in life, mainly my major at the time. Was it something that I really would like to do the rest of my life? I wasn't so sure and I still am not sure. I stressed and stressed about not knowing what I wanted to do with myself for the rest of my life and it was unneeded stress. Once I was back home, I realized that it was OK to question the direction I was going in. I was OK with not knowing, at least for the time being. Everything would work itself out in one way or another and I was willing to let the stress go and relax for a while.
The stress caught up with me Senior year as graduation approached. My first semester was filled with challenging classes but they were also the classes I got the most out of. With those out of the way, I was able to take a few fun gen ed classes my final semester - a nice cooling down semester as a reward for my previous 7 full semesters. With a lax schedule, however, came the inevitable decisions regarding Kevin and what I wanted out of our relationship. This is where the stress turned for a period of time. I grappled with the question of if I wanted to go to Japan with him in the Fall or if I should stay in the states and try to find a job on my own. Many decisions were reached and there were many details to cover in the short amount of time he had left in the United States. The decision to go with him to Japan and stay there for the 2 1/2 years was a long time in the making, fraught with countless contingency plans, conversations with those whose opinions I valued the most, and many nights awake in bed thinking to myself. When I took the step and made the final decision to go, I stood up and said, "this is where I want my life to start". I may still be the same passive-aggressive person I've always been, but this is an unfaltering decision I will stand my ground on.
If I could be called "strong", it would certainly be for this.
The stress caught up with me Senior year as graduation approached. My first semester was filled with challenging classes but they were also the classes I got the most out of. With those out of the way, I was able to take a few fun gen ed classes my final semester - a nice cooling down semester as a reward for my previous 7 full semesters. With a lax schedule, however, came the inevitable decisions regarding Kevin and what I wanted out of our relationship. This is where the stress turned for a period of time. I grappled with the question of if I wanted to go to Japan with him in the Fall or if I should stay in the states and try to find a job on my own. Many decisions were reached and there were many details to cover in the short amount of time he had left in the United States. The decision to go with him to Japan and stay there for the 2 1/2 years was a long time in the making, fraught with countless contingency plans, conversations with those whose opinions I valued the most, and many nights awake in bed thinking to myself. When I took the step and made the final decision to go, I stood up and said, "this is where I want my life to start". I may still be the same passive-aggressive person I've always been, but this is an unfaltering decision I will stand my ground on.
If I could be called "strong", it would certainly be for this.