Trolls and Trainwrecks and Stalkers! Oh, my!
Who Cares if They're out to Get You?
A Survival Guide for Paranoiacs.
Just recently, booraven22 asked me whatever happened to that "other" LJ person, onyxblue1. I don't think she was expecting me to go on at length about it, but I did. What it boils down to is that I'm worried I still might have a stalker watching that journal. Yes, I had an honest-to-goodness stalker. Two, kind of. One I e-mailed back and forth with a bit, and he thought it was all just a misunderstanding, but he's staying away, so far as I can tell. The other one spent a couple of weeks sending me spam-harrasment - as in x-rated spam getting sent not only to my main e-mail address, but also to my work e-mail address.
You know what They say, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean They aren't out to get you!
But, worrying about it isn't healthy, whether They really are or not. I have developed some simple rules for dealing with paranoid worrying about trolls and stalkers, at least of the mostly harmless sort. If someone's bothering you and they might do actual harm to you (physical, emotional, whatever), then you'd obviously need to take more serious action.
Don't Feed the Trolls
1. Don't look for Them. Setting traps so that you can watch Them watching you won't ease your mind. Even if They don't set off your alarm bells because They aren't there, you're still looking for Them. You won't stop thinking about Them, because you'll be checking to see if you've caught Them. When you don't, you'll probably be worrying how They're managing to watch you without getting caught. As long as They can't really hurt you, what difference does it make if They're watching?
2 .Don't use Their name. Don't talk about Them. If They are egomaniacs, all you're doing is feeding into that. However, a person doesn't have to be an egomaniac to wonder what's being said about Them, especially if They have reason to believe it's going to be unpleasant.
3. Don't respond to Them. If They say something about you, consider the source, and trust the people who matter to do the same. Your acknowledgment of Them gives Them power. They know that you're paying attention to Them, and They'll use that to Their advantage, if They're of a mind to do so.
Don't feed the trolls. Don't watch the trainwreck. However you want to phrase it for yourself, it all adds up to the same thing. If you want to forget They exist, the best thing is just to do it. At first, it will probably take conscious effort, but someday something will remind you of Them, and you'll realize you haven't thought about Them in weeks, maybe months, and then maybe you can demote Them to them.
I'm not trying to say I use these simple rules without fail. I still get caught up worrying about Them. At least I am aware of my problem, and I do take steps to minimize its effect on the rest of my life.
A Survival Guide for Paranoiacs.
Just recently, booraven22 asked me whatever happened to that "other" LJ person, onyxblue1. I don't think she was expecting me to go on at length about it, but I did. What it boils down to is that I'm worried I still might have a stalker watching that journal. Yes, I had an honest-to-goodness stalker. Two, kind of. One I e-mailed back and forth with a bit, and he thought it was all just a misunderstanding, but he's staying away, so far as I can tell. The other one spent a couple of weeks sending me spam-harrasment - as in x-rated spam getting sent not only to my main e-mail address, but also to my work e-mail address.
You know what They say, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean They aren't out to get you!
But, worrying about it isn't healthy, whether They really are or not. I have developed some simple rules for dealing with paranoid worrying about trolls and stalkers, at least of the mostly harmless sort. If someone's bothering you and they might do actual harm to you (physical, emotional, whatever), then you'd obviously need to take more serious action.
Don't Feed the Trolls
1. Don't look for Them. Setting traps so that you can watch Them watching you won't ease your mind. Even if They don't set off your alarm bells because They aren't there, you're still looking for Them. You won't stop thinking about Them, because you'll be checking to see if you've caught Them. When you don't, you'll probably be worrying how They're managing to watch you without getting caught. As long as They can't really hurt you, what difference does it make if They're watching?
2 .Don't use Their name. Don't talk about Them. If They are egomaniacs, all you're doing is feeding into that. However, a person doesn't have to be an egomaniac to wonder what's being said about Them, especially if They have reason to believe it's going to be unpleasant.
3. Don't respond to Them. If They say something about you, consider the source, and trust the people who matter to do the same. Your acknowledgment of Them gives Them power. They know that you're paying attention to Them, and They'll use that to Their advantage, if They're of a mind to do so.
Don't feed the trolls. Don't watch the trainwreck. However you want to phrase it for yourself, it all adds up to the same thing. If you want to forget They exist, the best thing is just to do it. At first, it will probably take conscious effort, but someday something will remind you of Them, and you'll realize you haven't thought about Them in weeks, maybe months, and then maybe you can demote Them to them.
I'm not trying to say I use these simple rules without fail. I still get caught up worrying about Them. At least I am aware of my problem, and I do take steps to minimize its effect on the rest of my life.