3:13
The generalized paranoia my imagination developed has caused me to become mortally terrified of the vacuum-cleaner at work. Laugh if you must, but I am completely serious. Tonight I finally sucked it up and vacuumed the mats, a task which only covers a portion of what I am in fact SUPOSED to do (vacuum the entire store every other night). This endeavor proved to be so panic-worthy that I nearly wound up in tears.
Now, before we start freaking out and telling me to get some help, etc, several aspects of the current situation should be taken into account.
a) When I was a child, I used to be terrified that bad things would happen if I didn't have music playing while I slept. I also used to believe that, during the night, it was dangerous for me to touch the floor for more than 30 seconds if music wasn't playing. My imagination never explained WHY this was so, but since there were no specifics, my sense of logic was never able to reason it's way out of this psychosis. If it had been a goblin/ghost fear, the explanation would have been right at hand: goblin's and ghosts don't exist. However, I think it was more a fear of the strange calm that falls over an area at night - the drain of energy that keeps the day alive and buzzing with the sense of constant motion. I must admit, I still do get freaked out by this feeling, and working late at a store with no windows and creaky floors only enhances my imaginations generalized paranoia and anxiety.
b) To keep myself going for the late shift I have to injest large amounts of caffine. Tired + caffine = jumpy mess.
c) Our vacuum at work sounds like a jet engine....
d) ... and therefore drowns out the sound of the music being played over the radio. Because I can't hear the music, my paranoid, schitzophrenic imagination decides that something is wrong.
End of story: I am afraid of a vacuum cleaner and have every reason to believe I have finally gone certifiably insane.
Now, before we start freaking out and telling me to get some help, etc, several aspects of the current situation should be taken into account.
a) When I was a child, I used to be terrified that bad things would happen if I didn't have music playing while I slept. I also used to believe that, during the night, it was dangerous for me to touch the floor for more than 30 seconds if music wasn't playing. My imagination never explained WHY this was so, but since there were no specifics, my sense of logic was never able to reason it's way out of this psychosis. If it had been a goblin/ghost fear, the explanation would have been right at hand: goblin's and ghosts don't exist. However, I think it was more a fear of the strange calm that falls over an area at night - the drain of energy that keeps the day alive and buzzing with the sense of constant motion. I must admit, I still do get freaked out by this feeling, and working late at a store with no windows and creaky floors only enhances my imaginations generalized paranoia and anxiety.
b) To keep myself going for the late shift I have to injest large amounts of caffine. Tired + caffine = jumpy mess.
c) Our vacuum at work sounds like a jet engine....
d) ... and therefore drowns out the sound of the music being played over the radio. Because I can't hear the music, my paranoid, schitzophrenic imagination decides that something is wrong.
End of story: I am afraid of a vacuum cleaner and have every reason to believe I have finally gone certifiably insane.