One Piece: Bound For Glory - Chapter 2 part 2
Here's the second part.
I'm a lot calmer in this part, so I don't think there'll be anymore ranting in VERY LARGE FONT, but the incestuous subtext does get turned up...because that's my way of dealing with pain.
Otherwise, the disclaimer and warnings for the former part still apply.
Enjoy!
"Daddy close the shop! They're here!" A little girl ran crying into the store
Nanai: (Little girl) Daddy! The Stu’s are here! *Trembles with fear*
where David was buying his weapons.
Caroline: He’s decided to become a pirate, and is aspiring to become the Pirate KING, and he is still unarmed. And he is going to acquire his weapons in a little corner-store in his home town, spitting in the face of years of RPG tradition…right. *Sighs* After that rant up there, I can’t even muster up enough energy to be pained by this…
He had just bought two katanas and placed them both on his hip.
Nanai: Where else was he going to place them? On top of his head?
Caroline: And stop ripping off canon! Just because you’re writing fanfiction, and thus plagiarising by definition, doesn’t mean you don’t have to try being original! Gah!
"What? Already? Okay hurry to the back!" The shopowner ordered.
James: I still don’t get that. The fishmen come every once in a while to rob these people of their money, and everyone just accepts it? I mean, a show of force might cow the villagers for some time, but this clearly has been going on for a long time! Why is everyone so okay with handing over their money like that? Why is there absolutely no attempt at fighting back? Organising a rebellion? Reporting this to the marines? Hello?
Caroline: But then the Stus can’t show up and save the day and act all high and mighty because they’re so morally superior to the fishmen. *Spits* God, this fic put an awful taste in my mouth…
Nanai: *Holds up various fruits* Food?
Caroline: Nah, if I eat anything now, I’d just vomit them back up in rage…
Nanai: *Shrugs and bites into an apple*
"Hey, what's going on?"
Caroline: Oh, fantastic. This Stu’s also going to join in, isn’t he? At this point, I really pity the fishmen…
"The Shark King's crew is here to pick up taxes,
Caroline: IT’S NOT FUCKING TAXES! I’M A POLITICIAN! DON’T YOU DARE INSULT MY JOB!
James: *Wrinkles nose* It’s just plain freaky how they’re so…blasé about this…
Nanai: *Giggles a little* (Store Owner) Oh yeah. These guys come through every so often and kills our men and rapes our women and steals our treasures, but hey, who care about that? Have I shown you our specials? They’re 30% off today!
we need to hurry and hide or else if we don't pay he'll burn down my store."
James: *Facepalm* How would hiding help you at all? These fishmen have been coming for some time, right? They know who’s living on the island! They’ll just search you out if you’re not in the store! I’d imagine hiding would just make them more angry! Since they know you’re there, and you’re clearly showing signs of rebellion! And why would they burn down your store? They might beat you up as an example, but your store is how you make money! If you don’t make money, they can’t collect their ‘taxes’! Burning down your business will just come back to bite them in the ass! The point of dictatorships is not to get people too desperate, because when people are backed into a corner, they fight! God!
Caroline: You seem very knowledgeable about reigns of terror…
James: You were just rhapsodising about the finer details of murder!
Caroline: Specifically, about how murder is wrong!
Nanai: Come on, guys! Don’t fight like that! There’s only one more page of this left!
Caroline: *Facepalm* God…another page to go…
"That's not nice...
Caroline: OF FUCKING COURSE IT WASN’T NICE! HE JUST TOLD YOU THEY BURN PEOPLE’S BUSINESSES DOWN! THEY PROBABLY BURN PEOPLE’S HOUSES DOWN AS WELL! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU- Oh, what the fuck. I’m not even going to bother. Let’s just get this over with…
who's the Shark King? Last time I was here there was no Shark King."
James: And it never occurred to you that he might have gotten there when you were off adventuring?
Caroline: Just when is the last time this guy’s been back? He’s got to be old enough to go off on his own and sail all around the world, but the Shark King has clearly been operating in the area long enough that the villagers have gotten into a routine and have a deep-seated fear of him…and yet the protagonists are only seventeen years old…What?
Nanai: Huh…Quantum pirating? Where it feels like you’ve been sailing around for decades, but you haven’t had a single birthday meanwhile? It seems to be employed regularly in canon…
"The Shark King is starting to take over the East Blue,
Caroline: Starting to take over? He’s just getting fucking started? He’s already got numerous islands under his rule! He’s already got the marines ignoring his activity, including the higher-ups! Not even the Pirate King accomplished that! And he’s clearly been around a long time, based on the villager’s reactions! Stuthor, are you putting any thought into this at all? Why the fuck did you find it necessary to make this publically available? Just…Why?
He plans on taking control of all of it so he can make everyone pay him money.
Nanai: Because he’s a cheap knock-off of a canon character. *Pouts* That’s not nice, you know…
Then he'll become the East Blue King."
Nanai: …Is there even such a thing? I mean, the title sounds kind of funny…like some kind of unholy mix of perfume manufacturer and fast food chain…
"Really? Well that's not nice,
Caroline: OF FUCKING COURSE IT’S NOT NICE! *Sighs and runs hands over face* No. I’m too tired. You guys can rant yourselves if you want to. I’m just going to ignore the fic now…
I'll just have to stop him." David smiled.
James: …O_O That’s creepy. That is seriously creepy. That does not bring to mind the image of a crusading hero, going up against the superior forces of a tyrant king in order to bring peace and happiness to the land. This calls to mind the image of blood and gore and nail-ripping machines and the main character laughing manically over the fallen corpse of people who once bullied him in primary school. O_o
"What? You can't do that!"
Nanai: (Shop Owner) The rampaging pirates are the town’s greatest tourist attraction!
Caroline: Look, I get that you’re trying to say the shop owner is sceptical about the protagonists’ chance of winning…but it really doesn’t come off that way. It actually sounds like the shop owner is loyal to the Shark King. Here, listen to this: What? You can’t hurt my sister! See what I mean? Please, Stuthor, just…just think about what you’re writing. I know it’s hard, but can you at least try? I’m begging you here…
Nanai: *Hugs Caroline* Here, have something to eat. It’ll make you better.
Caroline: *Drains bottle of water* *Scowls* No, my stomach’s still upset from all the rage…
"Yes I can..." David grinned,
James: I’m seeing months of prolonged torture in the Shark King’s future…I feel for the guy.
Caroline: Every chapter, the Stus get more unsettling…this is not a good trend.
"I'm David S. Payne! I'm going to be the next Pirate King!" he said with a smile.
Nanai: That proclamation doesn’t really work with a smile. Luffy always grinned when he said it, because that phrase encompassed all his dream, and it symbolised his bravery, determination, innocence, optimism…everything that made him the character we know and love. When you say it with a quiet little smile, you give off the feeling that your character’s going to set the world on fire whilst cackling because he must get what he want! It gives off the sense of obsession, sociopathy, entitlement and arrogance…not a nice combination. *Frowns* The Stuthor can’t even rip-off canon properly…Even Rebecca Sherwood manage that…
"Ha!" Chase was punched and slid back violently as Tora had landed a tough punch to his gut,
Caroline: You know what? I don’t even care about the redundancy! I want to hear about the Stu being punched as many times as possible! Go, Tora!
Nanai: Eh, we all know he can’t beat the Stu, but go him, anyways!
James: When you’ve got your readers cheering on a faceless, personality-less thug against your main character, it’s time to stop writing.
"Hahahaha!
Caroline: THIS IS NOT A COMIC! DON’T WRITE OUT THE FUCKING SOUND EFFECTS! JUST TELL US HE LAUGHED, GODDAMN IT!
Nanai: *Shrugs* Plenty of published authors do that too, but…
Caroline: *Glares at James* What have you been showing to my sister?
James: You’re the one who put your sister and porn magazines in the same house!
Caroline: I DID NOT!
Nanai: Hey! Don’t remind her! She might throw them out!
Caroline: AND DON’T YOU EVER GO INTO MY ROOM AGAIN!
Nanai: *Smiles* Aw~ But I wanted to sleep with you!
Caroline: …At least not before I clean it up.
Nanai: *Beams*
You think you can beat me?" Tora demanded to know as he taunted Chase.
Caroline: STOP REPEATING EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD US IN THE DIALOGUE! WE KNOW HE’S ASKING SOMETHING! WE KNOW HE’S ASKING SO HE CAN KNOW THE ANSWER! WE FUCKING KNOW HE’S TAUNTING THE MAIN CHARACTER! ARGH!
James: Perhaps this is a sign of the author’s level of reading comprehension. If he didn’t get the main theme of canon, it only makes sense that he believes the readers will not get something if he doesn’t beat them over the head with it.
Nanai: Imagine this story being narrated in that silly Sesame Street Narrator voice, it’s better that way.
"Eh, I'm going to try."
Caroline: (Stu) Yeah, I’m gonna try brutally murdering you because you have an annoying voice.
"Well so far you aren't doing to good!" Tora taunted as he rushed at Chase.
"Whatever..." Chase jumped over Tora then kicked him right in his back sending him flying.
James: And he’s completely failing at defending himself before because…? Is he faking weakness just to taunt Tora? Just to taunt him some more after murdering all of his friends? Giving a desperate man a glimpse of fake hope? Wow…that is a level of cruelty most Dark Lords don’t sink to…
Nanai: Or a Stu’s powers are connected to their screen time. They’re only all powerful when they’re on camera. It explains why they’re so obsessed with spotlight-hogging, since they must feel terribly vulnerable when that level of invincibility is suddenly taken away from them…
"Guah!"
Caroline: STOP WRITING OUT THE SOUND EFFECTS! PROSE IS NOT A MEDIUM WHERE THAT WORKS!
Tora stood and looked over at Chase with a grin, "I'm going to kill you!"
James: See? People who have no compunctions against taking human life are meant to be villains! When your heroes and villains have the same moral compass, something is seriously wrong with your story!
"Hmph, how? You don't know me."
Caroline: Oh, I knew you! I knew exactly what a smug, sociopathic little asshole you are two sentences into the story! You’re about the most transparent person on earth! You abuse the hell out of your powers because you enjoy seeing people cower in fear in front of you. You have no regard for the sanctity of life. You like torturing your enemies. And you like pretending to be a hero. Bastard…
Chase taunted, while Tora rushed him at full speed.
James: I’m…not that skilled at fight, but am I the only person who thinks this tactic is stupid? By running at an enemy, you’re giving them time to prepare for your attack, whilst you’re throwing your own balance off because of your velocity. And by running, you’re leaving yourself open to attacks from the enemy, whilst they have all the time in the world to defend themselves against your attack. And they’ll also know exactly where you’re going to attack from…Isn’t it much wiser to stay on your guard and wait for your enemy to make the first move?
Caroline: Lobotomising the antagonists is the only way this little dipshit can every win anything. Heck, I’ve never had a self-defence lesson in my life, but if this little turd is coming for me, I’d be able to fend him off using only my wits.
Nanai: *Dreamy sigh* Caroline is so Awesome…
Chase dodged Tora's punch then landed his own in Tora's gut causing Tora to hold it in pain.
Nanai: Aw…One Piece had such great action in it, too! This laundry-listing, and the same emotionless, drab way the Stuthor describes everything sucks interest out of even a violent fist fight…*Looks around* I wonder if I can get my hands on the canon comics. I’m going through a bit of Awesomeness withdrawal here…
"Guah!"
Caroline: AND DON’T FUCKING USE THE SAME SOUND EFFECT TWICE IN A ROW!
Nanai: *Wrinkles nose* This just reminds me of ‘ugh’ and Twilight…
Caroline: *Horrified* YOU LET HER READ TWILIGHT?
James: Hey! I didn’t do anything, alright? Why would I even own a copy of Twilight?
Nanai: *Shrugs* I just read a sporking of it online…
Caroline: That’s it! You’re not going on the internet without supervision from now!
Nanai: But, Caroline!
Caroline: No buts! It’s for your own good!
"That hurt? Sorry, but with me you're bound to get hurt."
James: O_O I’m seriously just waiting for him to pull out a nail-ripping machine now…
Nanai: Or whips and chains.
Caroline: Okay, you two are never spending time alone, ever! James, don’t you dare near my sister again!
Nanai: …I saw that in your magazines but…
Caroline: No! *To James* It’s all your fault! Stay away from my sister!
Chase mocked as he jumped up in the air and kicked Tora's face right into the ground.
James: Relishing in the wonderful cracking sound the man’s skull made as the brittle bone crushed beneath the heel of his boot-
Caroline: Stop that! See? You’re corrupting Nanai’s mind with all that violence!
James: I’d say she’s already pretty corrupted…
Caroline: And it’s all your fault!
"Guah!"
Caroline: AAAAAAAAARGH! *Rips hair out*
Nanai: *Sighs and pats Caroline’s shoulder sympathetically*
Tora struggled to stand, but nonetheless he did.
"Hey Chase! What are you doing?" David called.
James: Whoa! Where did he come from? Does he have the power of teleportation now?
Caroline: I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. I mean, we’ve already seen the *twitch* Omni-Omni fruit…
James: *Stares in horror* Please do not elaborate on that sentence. Please, never mention that name again.
"Hey David! I'm a little busy with this fishman."
Nanai: (Chase) He makes the most delicious little whimpers when you crush his fingers! Here, wanna try?
Caroline: Nanai! Stop that! Don’t follow James’ example!
James: What did I do wrong?
Caroline: *Dirty glare* You know what you did…
"Fish people! Awesome!" David jumped down from the roof he was standing on
James: Um…he was? Because I didn’t get that impression at all from the prose. I didn’t get any impression from the prose. Stuthor, you might want to start elaborating on some of these points. It’s kind of hard to visualise anything when you have no idea where the main characters are in relation to everything…
and squated next to one of the unconcious fishmen. He began to poke their gills
Nanai: O_O
James: O_o
Caroline: O_0
and chuckled, "Dude how'd they get like this? Fish and people! I wonder what they eat...do fish people like fish? Isnt that like...eating your own family?"
Nanai: *Slowly* …Wow…
James: …Yeah, wow…
Caroline: So…anyone else want to rant? No? Fine. *Sighs* YOU LITTLE PREJUDICED ASSHOLE! THIS STORY IS PUBLISHED IN 2011, SO YOU HAVE NO CLAIM TO IGNORANCE! YOU SAW HOW DISCRIMINATING PEOPLE WERE TOWARDS FISHMEN! YOU SAW THESE CREATURES, WHO ARE JUST AS INTELLIGENT AS HUMANS, ARE SOLD AS SLAVES! YOU SAW HOW THEY ARE REGARDED AS NO BETTER THAN ANIMALS! SURE, THE CANON MAIN CHARACTERS DON’T HAVE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION OF THEM, BUT THEY STILL TRIED TO HELP AS SOON AS THEY REALISED HOW UNFAIR THE SITUATION WAS! HERE? ONE OF YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS ARE SLAUGHTERING THESE PEOPLE LEFT AND RIGHT, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY ARE JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS! HE’S KEEPING ONE ALIVE AND USING IT AS A PUNCHING BAG, DELIBERATELY DRAWING OUT THE FIGHT TO INFLICT AS MUCH PAIN AS POSSIBLE, AND HE’S DOING IT BECAUSE OF PETTY SELFISH PRIDE! AND YOUR OTHER MAIN CHARACTER IS POKING THE CORPSES OF THE FISHMEN, WHO HAVE FAMILIES AND FRIENDS AND ARE CAPABLE OF LOVE, AND IS TREATING THEM AS NO MORE THAN ANIMALS! HE’S NOT APPALLED BY THE SENSELESS SLAUGHTER! HE’S NOT HORRIFIED BY THE CARNAGE! HE THINKS IT’S FUNNY! AND HE DARES TO MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT THE FISHMEN’S DIET! HIS FRIEND JUST SLAUGHTERED A BUNCH OF SENTIENT, DIGNIFIED CREATURES,AND THAT IS HIS REACTION! STUTHOR, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DISTURBING THIS IS? HOW SOCIOPATHIC YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS ARE? I’M NOT SYMPATHISING WITH THEM! I DON’T EVEN LIKE THEM! RIGHT NOW, ALL I WANT TO SEE IS THEM BEING ON THE RECEIVING END OF TORTURE, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW MUCH THEY DISGUST AND REVOLT ME! STOP WRITING NOW AND THINK, STUTHOR! YOU ARE BORN WITH A BRAIN FOR A REASON! PLEASE PUT IT TO GOOD USE!
"Will you humans shut up?" Tora yelled angered while starring down Chase, "You making fun of us fishmen? Will you are a monkey! You stupid monkey boy!"
Caroline: *Applauds*
Nanai: *Nods in agreement*
"Me? A monkey?" David sat there and thought as he continued to poke the fishman with twig.
Caroline: SERIOUSLY! THIS IS HOW HE TREATS A CORPSE! THE CORPSE OF A MAN HIS FRIEND JUST MURDERED! HE’S POKING IT WITH A TWIG! AND HE’S DOING THIS IN FULL VIEW OF THE DEAD MAN’S FRIEND! AND HE DOESN’T GET WHY THE FRIEND IS ANGRY? THIS IS BEYOND SOCIOPATHIC! EVEN SOCIOPATHS ARE MORE EMPATHETIC THAN THIS, AND THEY HAVE A LEGITIMATE MENTAL DISORDER!
Nanai: *Happily applauds*
"Hey David back away from the fish people." Chase sweatdropped.
Caroline: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU BOTH UP YOUR SCRAWNY LITTLE ASSES! ISN’T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU JUST KILLED THEM? DO YOU HAVE TO INSULT THEM LIKE THIS AND TREAT THEM AS NOTHING BETTER THAN DANGEROUS ANIMALS? AND DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING INSERT A COMEDY ROUTINE WHILST YOUR CHARACTERS ARE STANDING AROUND THE BODIES OF THE PEOPLE THEY HAVE MURDERED? YOU…JUST…FUCK YOU! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
"Aww...but they're so cool." He whinned.
Caroline: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Nanai: Are you alright? Do you need to take a break?
"I don't care just move away from him!" Chase ordered.
Caroline: *Dies*
Nanai: …Caroline? Caroline?
"Fine..." David sulked and walked away.
Nanai: …I know…I know what they’re doing is horrible, but Caroline? You’ve seen worse than this, right? Carrey? Are you okay? *Shakes Caroline gently, yelping a little when Caroline slumps lifelessly onto her lap* Carrey? Answer me…Carrey?
"Pay attention!" Tora took advantage by punching Chase right in the stomach, he then punched him in the face sending him flying back.
Nanai: Carrey, please wake up! Look! The Stu’s getting punched! Please, you have to see this! You…you’re just struck dumb again, aren’t you? Please, Carrey, wake up!
"Chase...stop playing around!"
James: *Pats Nanai on the shoulder comfortingly* There, there…I’m…sure she’ll be fine…
"He doesn't have a Devil Fruit ability!"
Nanai: Carrey…*Bursts into tears*
James: *Awkwardly hugs Nanai*
"Oh...well that sucks." David said boringly.
Nanai: *Swings around toward the screen, snarling* YOU FUCKING BITCHES! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO CARREY! IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID, STUPID SOCIOPATHY! COME ON! SHOW THE LEAST AMOUNT OF REMORSE IN THE FACE OF MURDER! GIVE YOUR OPPONENTS A SILVER OF RESPECT! YOU…YOU’RE THE ONES WHO MADE CARREY LIKE THIS, SO YOU HAVE TO PUT HER BACK! ACT LIKE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW OR I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SHOW YOU HOW CRUSHED FINGERS TRULY FEEL LIKE!
James: *Jumps back, startled* Nanai? You alright?
"Hahaha! Don't ever underestimate the first mate of the Shark King!"
Nanai: No! I’m not fucking alright! Those fucking assholes hurt MY Carrey! They hurt her! So they’re going to pay for it! *Narrows eyes* The first thing I’m going to do is to cut those lightning-shooting nipples off and feed them to dogs…
"You're the Shark King's first mate?" David yelled.
James: O_O Somehow, you still manage to be more likeable than those two…
"Yeah, which means I'm too powerful for any of you humans."
Nanai: SEE? THAT’S THE STUPIDITY THAT MADE CARREY LIKE THIS! HE WAS BATTING YOU AROUND, AND YOU COULDN’T LIFT A FINGER TO DEFEND YOURSELF A FEW PARAGRAPHS AGO! GOLDFISH HAVE A LONGER ATTENTION SPAN THAN YOU! MAN UP AND KILL THOSE FUCKING BITCHES FOR ME, OR YOU’LL BE ON MY HITLIST AS WELL!
"Well that's awesome, because Chase is my first mate. So two first mates battling is awesome." David smiled.
Nanai: THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER! CAN’T YOU SHOW THE LEAST AMOUNT OF CONCERN FOR YOUR OWN FRIEND? CAN’T YOU SHOW THE LEAST BIT AMOUNT OF UNEASINESS IN THE PROSPECT OF KILLING YOUR OPPONENT? THE OPPONENT YOU ADMIT YOU OUT-CLASS? YOU FUCKING BITCHES, I’M GOING TO-
James: *Shakes Caroline* Hey! Wake up! Seriously, wake up! Your sister’s scaring me now…
"You're the first mate? Then that means no holding back huh?" Chase stood, "Now you're gonna get hurt!" Chase rushed at Tora with his fist cocked back.
Nanai: YOU’RE ALREADY HURTING HIM! DID YOU THINK HE CARED NOTHING ABOUT HIS MATES? ABOUT HIS FRIENDS? AND JUST BECAUSE HE’S THE FIRST MATE, THAT STILL DOESN’T GIVE HIM ANY POWERS, SO WHAT MAKES IT OKAY TO STOP HOLDING BACK? OR ARE YOU JUST GETTING IMPATIENT NOW? WHAT, HIS SCREAMS ARE DECLINING IN QUALITY?
"You're nothing! Roundhouse!"
James: Caroline? …Huh…I swore I saw her eyelids flutter…
"Stop trying to be Chuck Norris!"
Nanai: THEY DON’T HAVE FUCKING CHUCK NORRIS IN CANON! YOU’RE ALREADY THROWING OUT THE CANON CHARACTERS! DON’T THROW OUT THE SETTING AS WELL! AT THIS RATE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE WRITING ORIGINAL FICTION! EXCEPT NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ORIGINAL! AND DON’T YOU DARE SULLY THE NAME OF A GREAT ACTOR BY DRAGGIN HIM INTO THIS FIC! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! I WANT YOUR EYEBALLS MOUNTED ON MY MANTELPIECE!
Chase ducked and dodged the kick then dropped down on his hands and kicked Tora in the chin knocking him down on the ground.
James: Caroline? You waking up? Please wake up! Seriously!
"Guah!"
Nanai: YOU FUCKING LITTLE-
Caroline: Who’s that yelling? Stop that! I have a horrible headache…
Nanai: *Wide eyed* Carrey? Carrey, you’re awake! Yay! I knew you wouldn’t abandon me! Carrey~ *Snuggles*
James: *Pats chest in relief*
"We done now?"
Caroline: Oh, we’re finished?
"Hmph, I'll leave this island for now!
Caroline: Damn…
But remember that the East Blue is under the Shark King's control! So beware! We'll be back!"
James: …And why didn’t he flee before? Did he seriously think he could take out the guy who killed his entire crew in one shot?
Caroline: Somehow, I find it exceedingly unbelievable that these sociopaths are going to let him go like that…
Tora yelled as he gathered his crew mates that began to awake and jumped back on their boat.
Caroline: Oh. They weren’t dead. Well, why didn’t you tell us that, Stuthor? Don’t you think that’s an important fact to mention? That your main character haven’t actually killed those guys? Because judging from what they did to the marines, I found it entirely plausible that they mercilessly slaughtered anyone who so much as looked at them wrong.
Nanai: Don’t get yourself worked up so much. Just ignore it. *Snuggles happily*
David continued to poke the unconcious fishmen.
Caroline: *Twitches*
Nanai: *Quickly* Here! Eat an orange! They’re good for you!
"So the Shark King...is a fishman too?"
Caroline: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK HE WAS? HIS ENTIRE CREW IS MADE UP OF FISHMEN, AND HE’S CALLED THE FREAKING ‘SHARK KING’! WHAT , YOU THOUGHT HE WAS AN ELF?
Nanai: Are you sure you don’t want the orange? They’re really nice!
"Yes David..." Chase answered in annoyance.
"Cool! I hope he's strong if he's king!"
Caroline: So you could hunt him down and kill him? Yeah, that works with your characterisation.
James: These guys aren’t even going after him because he’s being nasty to the villagers. They just want to hurt people. They just want a fight. They don’t even stop to consider whether those people deserved being beaten up…Heck, the fact that the Shark King wasn’t a nice guy was probably just a nice bonus!
"Yeah, let's go."
Caroline: (David) My family? Duh…who’s that? I don’t need to check if my family’s alright! Torture is the only thing that matters!
"Right. With me first mate!" David marched off with a big smile on his face.
Caroline: (David) Damn, watching my neighbours being slaughtered makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside!
"Whatever Cap."
Caroline: (Chase) Whatever, as long as I get to kill people…
Next time:
Caroline: THE STU FUCKING DIES!
The mystery man who ate the Omni Omni Fruit has decided to make his first move into becoming Pirate King.
Nanai: Huh. That guy is apparently the antagonist…Well, at least this story will have some semblance of conflict. And the author has enough shame to not give it to one of the main characters…
James: I…have a feeling that statement is going to come back and haunt you.
First he needs to call forth all of the new Shichibukai, along with give orders to his new allies. Or more like his new army, as he prepares to achive his dream.
Nanai: …Did the author just completely spoil his villain’s plans? Well…that’s stupid…
Caroline: Of course it is. Did you expect anything else from this Stuthor?
Review!
Caroline: Fuck you!
‘Good job, Sporkers! Please proceed to the lounge for your break.’ The Voice boomed, startling James again.
‘And fuck you too!’ Caroline leaped up and swore.
‘Now, now, there’s no need for profanity. Just one Chapter left, and you guys can take a nice long break!’ The voice paused, then continued rather reluctantly. ‘Depending on your state, I might even bring in some other guys to help…’
‘I’ll say what I fucking want, you fucking fuckwad!’
Tugging on her sister’s shirt, Nanai smiled. ‘Come on, Caroline! No need to get so worked up! Here, I’ll sing you a nice song in the break!’
James sighed and watched Caroline flounce off to the Lounge followed by an uncharacteristically nervous Nanai. He’s only been here for once chapter, and the effects the fic had on his companions are alarming, to say the least.
He sighed again, and stood rather wearily.
One more Chapter…surely he could make it. After all, it couldn’t possibly get worse, right?
Right?
Go Forward to: Chapter 3, Part 1
Go Back to: Chapter 2, Part 1
I'm a lot calmer in this part, so I don't think there'll be anymore ranting in VERY LARGE FONT, but the incestuous subtext does get turned up...because that's my way of dealing with pain.
Otherwise, the disclaimer and warnings for the former part still apply.
Enjoy!
"Daddy close the shop! They're here!" A little girl ran crying into the store
Nanai: (Little girl) Daddy! The Stu’s are here! *Trembles with fear*
where David was buying his weapons.
Caroline: He’s decided to become a pirate, and is aspiring to become the Pirate KING, and he is still unarmed. And he is going to acquire his weapons in a little corner-store in his home town, spitting in the face of years of RPG tradition…right. *Sighs* After that rant up there, I can’t even muster up enough energy to be pained by this…
He had just bought two katanas and placed them both on his hip.
Nanai: Where else was he going to place them? On top of his head?
Caroline: And stop ripping off canon! Just because you’re writing fanfiction, and thus plagiarising by definition, doesn’t mean you don’t have to try being original! Gah!
"What? Already? Okay hurry to the back!" The shopowner ordered.
James: I still don’t get that. The fishmen come every once in a while to rob these people of their money, and everyone just accepts it? I mean, a show of force might cow the villagers for some time, but this clearly has been going on for a long time! Why is everyone so okay with handing over their money like that? Why is there absolutely no attempt at fighting back? Organising a rebellion? Reporting this to the marines? Hello?
Caroline: But then the Stus can’t show up and save the day and act all high and mighty because they’re so morally superior to the fishmen. *Spits* God, this fic put an awful taste in my mouth…
Nanai: *Holds up various fruits* Food?
Caroline: Nah, if I eat anything now, I’d just vomit them back up in rage…
Nanai: *Shrugs and bites into an apple*
"Hey, what's going on?"
Caroline: Oh, fantastic. This Stu’s also going to join in, isn’t he? At this point, I really pity the fishmen…
"The Shark King's crew is here to pick up taxes,
Caroline: IT’S NOT FUCKING TAXES! I’M A POLITICIAN! DON’T YOU DARE INSULT MY JOB!
James: *Wrinkles nose* It’s just plain freaky how they’re so…blasé about this…
Nanai: *Giggles a little* (Store Owner) Oh yeah. These guys come through every so often and kills our men and rapes our women and steals our treasures, but hey, who care about that? Have I shown you our specials? They’re 30% off today!
we need to hurry and hide or else if we don't pay he'll burn down my store."
James: *Facepalm* How would hiding help you at all? These fishmen have been coming for some time, right? They know who’s living on the island! They’ll just search you out if you’re not in the store! I’d imagine hiding would just make them more angry! Since they know you’re there, and you’re clearly showing signs of rebellion! And why would they burn down your store? They might beat you up as an example, but your store is how you make money! If you don’t make money, they can’t collect their ‘taxes’! Burning down your business will just come back to bite them in the ass! The point of dictatorships is not to get people too desperate, because when people are backed into a corner, they fight! God!
Caroline: You seem very knowledgeable about reigns of terror…
James: You were just rhapsodising about the finer details of murder!
Caroline: Specifically, about how murder is wrong!
Nanai: Come on, guys! Don’t fight like that! There’s only one more page of this left!
Caroline: *Facepalm* God…another page to go…
"That's not nice...
Caroline: OF FUCKING COURSE IT WASN’T NICE! HE JUST TOLD YOU THEY BURN PEOPLE’S BUSINESSES DOWN! THEY PROBABLY BURN PEOPLE’S HOUSES DOWN AS WELL! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU- Oh, what the fuck. I’m not even going to bother. Let’s just get this over with…
who's the Shark King? Last time I was here there was no Shark King."
James: And it never occurred to you that he might have gotten there when you were off adventuring?
Caroline: Just when is the last time this guy’s been back? He’s got to be old enough to go off on his own and sail all around the world, but the Shark King has clearly been operating in the area long enough that the villagers have gotten into a routine and have a deep-seated fear of him…and yet the protagonists are only seventeen years old…What?
Nanai: Huh…Quantum pirating? Where it feels like you’ve been sailing around for decades, but you haven’t had a single birthday meanwhile? It seems to be employed regularly in canon…
"The Shark King is starting to take over the East Blue,
Caroline: Starting to take over? He’s just getting fucking started? He’s already got numerous islands under his rule! He’s already got the marines ignoring his activity, including the higher-ups! Not even the Pirate King accomplished that! And he’s clearly been around a long time, based on the villager’s reactions! Stuthor, are you putting any thought into this at all? Why the fuck did you find it necessary to make this publically available? Just…Why?
He plans on taking control of all of it so he can make everyone pay him money.
Nanai: Because he’s a cheap knock-off of a canon character. *Pouts* That’s not nice, you know…
Then he'll become the East Blue King."
Nanai: …Is there even such a thing? I mean, the title sounds kind of funny…like some kind of unholy mix of perfume manufacturer and fast food chain…
"Really? Well that's not nice,
Caroline: OF FUCKING COURSE IT’S NOT NICE! *Sighs and runs hands over face* No. I’m too tired. You guys can rant yourselves if you want to. I’m just going to ignore the fic now…
I'll just have to stop him." David smiled.
James: …O_O That’s creepy. That is seriously creepy. That does not bring to mind the image of a crusading hero, going up against the superior forces of a tyrant king in order to bring peace and happiness to the land. This calls to mind the image of blood and gore and nail-ripping machines and the main character laughing manically over the fallen corpse of people who once bullied him in primary school. O_o
"What? You can't do that!"
Nanai: (Shop Owner) The rampaging pirates are the town’s greatest tourist attraction!
Caroline: Look, I get that you’re trying to say the shop owner is sceptical about the protagonists’ chance of winning…but it really doesn’t come off that way. It actually sounds like the shop owner is loyal to the Shark King. Here, listen to this: What? You can’t hurt my sister! See what I mean? Please, Stuthor, just…just think about what you’re writing. I know it’s hard, but can you at least try? I’m begging you here…
Nanai: *Hugs Caroline* Here, have something to eat. It’ll make you better.
Caroline: *Drains bottle of water* *Scowls* No, my stomach’s still upset from all the rage…
"Yes I can..." David grinned,
James: I’m seeing months of prolonged torture in the Shark King’s future…I feel for the guy.
Caroline: Every chapter, the Stus get more unsettling…this is not a good trend.
"I'm David S. Payne! I'm going to be the next Pirate King!" he said with a smile.
Nanai: That proclamation doesn’t really work with a smile. Luffy always grinned when he said it, because that phrase encompassed all his dream, and it symbolised his bravery, determination, innocence, optimism…everything that made him the character we know and love. When you say it with a quiet little smile, you give off the feeling that your character’s going to set the world on fire whilst cackling because he must get what he want! It gives off the sense of obsession, sociopathy, entitlement and arrogance…not a nice combination. *Frowns* The Stuthor can’t even rip-off canon properly…Even Rebecca Sherwood manage that…
"Ha!" Chase was punched and slid back violently as Tora had landed a tough punch to his gut,
Caroline: You know what? I don’t even care about the redundancy! I want to hear about the Stu being punched as many times as possible! Go, Tora!
Nanai: Eh, we all know he can’t beat the Stu, but go him, anyways!
James: When you’ve got your readers cheering on a faceless, personality-less thug against your main character, it’s time to stop writing.
"Hahahaha!
Caroline: THIS IS NOT A COMIC! DON’T WRITE OUT THE FUCKING SOUND EFFECTS! JUST TELL US HE LAUGHED, GODDAMN IT!
Nanai: *Shrugs* Plenty of published authors do that too, but…
Caroline: *Glares at James* What have you been showing to my sister?
James: You’re the one who put your sister and porn magazines in the same house!
Caroline: I DID NOT!
Nanai: Hey! Don’t remind her! She might throw them out!
Caroline: AND DON’T YOU EVER GO INTO MY ROOM AGAIN!
Nanai: *Smiles* Aw~ But I wanted to sleep with you!
Caroline: …At least not before I clean it up.
Nanai: *Beams*
You think you can beat me?" Tora demanded to know as he taunted Chase.
Caroline: STOP REPEATING EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD US IN THE DIALOGUE! WE KNOW HE’S ASKING SOMETHING! WE KNOW HE’S ASKING SO HE CAN KNOW THE ANSWER! WE FUCKING KNOW HE’S TAUNTING THE MAIN CHARACTER! ARGH!
James: Perhaps this is a sign of the author’s level of reading comprehension. If he didn’t get the main theme of canon, it only makes sense that he believes the readers will not get something if he doesn’t beat them over the head with it.
Nanai: Imagine this story being narrated in that silly Sesame Street Narrator voice, it’s better that way.
"Eh, I'm going to try."
Caroline: (Stu) Yeah, I’m gonna try brutally murdering you because you have an annoying voice.
"Well so far you aren't doing to good!" Tora taunted as he rushed at Chase.
"Whatever..." Chase jumped over Tora then kicked him right in his back sending him flying.
James: And he’s completely failing at defending himself before because…? Is he faking weakness just to taunt Tora? Just to taunt him some more after murdering all of his friends? Giving a desperate man a glimpse of fake hope? Wow…that is a level of cruelty most Dark Lords don’t sink to…
Nanai: Or a Stu’s powers are connected to their screen time. They’re only all powerful when they’re on camera. It explains why they’re so obsessed with spotlight-hogging, since they must feel terribly vulnerable when that level of invincibility is suddenly taken away from them…
"Guah!"
Caroline: STOP WRITING OUT THE SOUND EFFECTS! PROSE IS NOT A MEDIUM WHERE THAT WORKS!
Tora stood and looked over at Chase with a grin, "I'm going to kill you!"
James: See? People who have no compunctions against taking human life are meant to be villains! When your heroes and villains have the same moral compass, something is seriously wrong with your story!
"Hmph, how? You don't know me."
Caroline: Oh, I knew you! I knew exactly what a smug, sociopathic little asshole you are two sentences into the story! You’re about the most transparent person on earth! You abuse the hell out of your powers because you enjoy seeing people cower in fear in front of you. You have no regard for the sanctity of life. You like torturing your enemies. And you like pretending to be a hero. Bastard…
Chase taunted, while Tora rushed him at full speed.
James: I’m…not that skilled at fight, but am I the only person who thinks this tactic is stupid? By running at an enemy, you’re giving them time to prepare for your attack, whilst you’re throwing your own balance off because of your velocity. And by running, you’re leaving yourself open to attacks from the enemy, whilst they have all the time in the world to defend themselves against your attack. And they’ll also know exactly where you’re going to attack from…Isn’t it much wiser to stay on your guard and wait for your enemy to make the first move?
Caroline: Lobotomising the antagonists is the only way this little dipshit can every win anything. Heck, I’ve never had a self-defence lesson in my life, but if this little turd is coming for me, I’d be able to fend him off using only my wits.
Nanai: *Dreamy sigh* Caroline is so Awesome…
Chase dodged Tora's punch then landed his own in Tora's gut causing Tora to hold it in pain.
Nanai: Aw…One Piece had such great action in it, too! This laundry-listing, and the same emotionless, drab way the Stuthor describes everything sucks interest out of even a violent fist fight…*Looks around* I wonder if I can get my hands on the canon comics. I’m going through a bit of Awesomeness withdrawal here…
"Guah!"
Caroline: AND DON’T FUCKING USE THE SAME SOUND EFFECT TWICE IN A ROW!
Nanai: *Wrinkles nose* This just reminds me of ‘ugh’ and Twilight…
Caroline: *Horrified* YOU LET HER READ TWILIGHT?
James: Hey! I didn’t do anything, alright? Why would I even own a copy of Twilight?
Nanai: *Shrugs* I just read a sporking of it online…
Caroline: That’s it! You’re not going on the internet without supervision from now!
Nanai: But, Caroline!
Caroline: No buts! It’s for your own good!
"That hurt? Sorry, but with me you're bound to get hurt."
James: O_O I’m seriously just waiting for him to pull out a nail-ripping machine now…
Nanai: Or whips and chains.
Caroline: Okay, you two are never spending time alone, ever! James, don’t you dare near my sister again!
Nanai: …I saw that in your magazines but…
Caroline: No! *To James* It’s all your fault! Stay away from my sister!
Chase mocked as he jumped up in the air and kicked Tora's face right into the ground.
James: Relishing in the wonderful cracking sound the man’s skull made as the brittle bone crushed beneath the heel of his boot-
Caroline: Stop that! See? You’re corrupting Nanai’s mind with all that violence!
James: I’d say she’s already pretty corrupted…
Caroline: And it’s all your fault!
"Guah!"
Caroline: AAAAAAAAARGH! *Rips hair out*
Nanai: *Sighs and pats Caroline’s shoulder sympathetically*
Tora struggled to stand, but nonetheless he did.
"Hey Chase! What are you doing?" David called.
James: Whoa! Where did he come from? Does he have the power of teleportation now?
Caroline: I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. I mean, we’ve already seen the *twitch* Omni-Omni fruit…
James: *Stares in horror* Please do not elaborate on that sentence. Please, never mention that name again.
"Hey David! I'm a little busy with this fishman."
Nanai: (Chase) He makes the most delicious little whimpers when you crush his fingers! Here, wanna try?
Caroline: Nanai! Stop that! Don’t follow James’ example!
James: What did I do wrong?
Caroline: *Dirty glare* You know what you did…
"Fish people! Awesome!" David jumped down from the roof he was standing on
James: Um…he was? Because I didn’t get that impression at all from the prose. I didn’t get any impression from the prose. Stuthor, you might want to start elaborating on some of these points. It’s kind of hard to visualise anything when you have no idea where the main characters are in relation to everything…
and squated next to one of the unconcious fishmen. He began to poke their gills
Nanai: O_O
James: O_o
Caroline: O_0
and chuckled, "Dude how'd they get like this? Fish and people! I wonder what they eat...do fish people like fish? Isnt that like...eating your own family?"
Nanai: *Slowly* …Wow…
James: …Yeah, wow…
Caroline: So…anyone else want to rant? No? Fine. *Sighs* YOU LITTLE PREJUDICED ASSHOLE! THIS STORY IS PUBLISHED IN 2011, SO YOU HAVE NO CLAIM TO IGNORANCE! YOU SAW HOW DISCRIMINATING PEOPLE WERE TOWARDS FISHMEN! YOU SAW THESE CREATURES, WHO ARE JUST AS INTELLIGENT AS HUMANS, ARE SOLD AS SLAVES! YOU SAW HOW THEY ARE REGARDED AS NO BETTER THAN ANIMALS! SURE, THE CANON MAIN CHARACTERS DON’T HAVE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION OF THEM, BUT THEY STILL TRIED TO HELP AS SOON AS THEY REALISED HOW UNFAIR THE SITUATION WAS! HERE? ONE OF YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS ARE SLAUGHTERING THESE PEOPLE LEFT AND RIGHT, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY ARE JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS! HE’S KEEPING ONE ALIVE AND USING IT AS A PUNCHING BAG, DELIBERATELY DRAWING OUT THE FIGHT TO INFLICT AS MUCH PAIN AS POSSIBLE, AND HE’S DOING IT BECAUSE OF PETTY SELFISH PRIDE! AND YOUR OTHER MAIN CHARACTER IS POKING THE CORPSES OF THE FISHMEN, WHO HAVE FAMILIES AND FRIENDS AND ARE CAPABLE OF LOVE, AND IS TREATING THEM AS NO MORE THAN ANIMALS! HE’S NOT APPALLED BY THE SENSELESS SLAUGHTER! HE’S NOT HORRIFIED BY THE CARNAGE! HE THINKS IT’S FUNNY! AND HE DARES TO MAKE DEROGATORY COMMENTS ABOUT THE FISHMEN’S DIET! HIS FRIEND JUST SLAUGHTERED A BUNCH OF SENTIENT, DIGNIFIED CREATURES,AND THAT IS HIS REACTION! STUTHOR, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DISTURBING THIS IS? HOW SOCIOPATHIC YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS ARE? I’M NOT SYMPATHISING WITH THEM! I DON’T EVEN LIKE THEM! RIGHT NOW, ALL I WANT TO SEE IS THEM BEING ON THE RECEIVING END OF TORTURE, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW MUCH THEY DISGUST AND REVOLT ME! STOP WRITING NOW AND THINK, STUTHOR! YOU ARE BORN WITH A BRAIN FOR A REASON! PLEASE PUT IT TO GOOD USE!
"Will you humans shut up?" Tora yelled angered while starring down Chase, "You making fun of us fishmen? Will you are a monkey! You stupid monkey boy!"
Caroline: *Applauds*
Nanai: *Nods in agreement*
"Me? A monkey?" David sat there and thought as he continued to poke the fishman with twig.
Caroline: SERIOUSLY! THIS IS HOW HE TREATS A CORPSE! THE CORPSE OF A MAN HIS FRIEND JUST MURDERED! HE’S POKING IT WITH A TWIG! AND HE’S DOING THIS IN FULL VIEW OF THE DEAD MAN’S FRIEND! AND HE DOESN’T GET WHY THE FRIEND IS ANGRY? THIS IS BEYOND SOCIOPATHIC! EVEN SOCIOPATHS ARE MORE EMPATHETIC THAN THIS, AND THEY HAVE A LEGITIMATE MENTAL DISORDER!
Nanai: *Happily applauds*
"Hey David back away from the fish people." Chase sweatdropped.
Caroline: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU BOTH UP YOUR SCRAWNY LITTLE ASSES! ISN’T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU JUST KILLED THEM? DO YOU HAVE TO INSULT THEM LIKE THIS AND TREAT THEM AS NOTHING BETTER THAN DANGEROUS ANIMALS? AND DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING INSERT A COMEDY ROUTINE WHILST YOUR CHARACTERS ARE STANDING AROUND THE BODIES OF THE PEOPLE THEY HAVE MURDERED? YOU…JUST…FUCK YOU! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
"Aww...but they're so cool." He whinned.
Caroline: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Nanai: Are you alright? Do you need to take a break?
"I don't care just move away from him!" Chase ordered.
Caroline: *Dies*
Nanai: …Caroline? Caroline?
"Fine..." David sulked and walked away.
Nanai: …I know…I know what they’re doing is horrible, but Caroline? You’ve seen worse than this, right? Carrey? Are you okay? *Shakes Caroline gently, yelping a little when Caroline slumps lifelessly onto her lap* Carrey? Answer me…Carrey?
"Pay attention!" Tora took advantage by punching Chase right in the stomach, he then punched him in the face sending him flying back.
Nanai: Carrey, please wake up! Look! The Stu’s getting punched! Please, you have to see this! You…you’re just struck dumb again, aren’t you? Please, Carrey, wake up!
"Chase...stop playing around!"
James: *Pats Nanai on the shoulder comfortingly* There, there…I’m…sure she’ll be fine…
"He doesn't have a Devil Fruit ability!"
Nanai: Carrey…*Bursts into tears*
James: *Awkwardly hugs Nanai*
"Oh...well that sucks." David said boringly.
Nanai: *Swings around toward the screen, snarling* YOU FUCKING BITCHES! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO CARREY! IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID, STUPID SOCIOPATHY! COME ON! SHOW THE LEAST AMOUNT OF REMORSE IN THE FACE OF MURDER! GIVE YOUR OPPONENTS A SILVER OF RESPECT! YOU…YOU’RE THE ONES WHO MADE CARREY LIKE THIS, SO YOU HAVE TO PUT HER BACK! ACT LIKE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW OR I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SHOW YOU HOW CRUSHED FINGERS TRULY FEEL LIKE!
James: *Jumps back, startled* Nanai? You alright?
"Hahaha! Don't ever underestimate the first mate of the Shark King!"
Nanai: No! I’m not fucking alright! Those fucking assholes hurt MY Carrey! They hurt her! So they’re going to pay for it! *Narrows eyes* The first thing I’m going to do is to cut those lightning-shooting nipples off and feed them to dogs…
"You're the Shark King's first mate?" David yelled.
James: O_O Somehow, you still manage to be more likeable than those two…
"Yeah, which means I'm too powerful for any of you humans."
Nanai: SEE? THAT’S THE STUPIDITY THAT MADE CARREY LIKE THIS! HE WAS BATTING YOU AROUND, AND YOU COULDN’T LIFT A FINGER TO DEFEND YOURSELF A FEW PARAGRAPHS AGO! GOLDFISH HAVE A LONGER ATTENTION SPAN THAN YOU! MAN UP AND KILL THOSE FUCKING BITCHES FOR ME, OR YOU’LL BE ON MY HITLIST AS WELL!
"Well that's awesome, because Chase is my first mate. So two first mates battling is awesome." David smiled.
Nanai: THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER! CAN’T YOU SHOW THE LEAST AMOUNT OF CONCERN FOR YOUR OWN FRIEND? CAN’T YOU SHOW THE LEAST BIT AMOUNT OF UNEASINESS IN THE PROSPECT OF KILLING YOUR OPPONENT? THE OPPONENT YOU ADMIT YOU OUT-CLASS? YOU FUCKING BITCHES, I’M GOING TO-
James: *Shakes Caroline* Hey! Wake up! Seriously, wake up! Your sister’s scaring me now…
"You're the first mate? Then that means no holding back huh?" Chase stood, "Now you're gonna get hurt!" Chase rushed at Tora with his fist cocked back.
Nanai: YOU’RE ALREADY HURTING HIM! DID YOU THINK HE CARED NOTHING ABOUT HIS MATES? ABOUT HIS FRIENDS? AND JUST BECAUSE HE’S THE FIRST MATE, THAT STILL DOESN’T GIVE HIM ANY POWERS, SO WHAT MAKES IT OKAY TO STOP HOLDING BACK? OR ARE YOU JUST GETTING IMPATIENT NOW? WHAT, HIS SCREAMS ARE DECLINING IN QUALITY?
"You're nothing! Roundhouse!"
James: Caroline? …Huh…I swore I saw her eyelids flutter…
"Stop trying to be Chuck Norris!"
Nanai: THEY DON’T HAVE FUCKING CHUCK NORRIS IN CANON! YOU’RE ALREADY THROWING OUT THE CANON CHARACTERS! DON’T THROW OUT THE SETTING AS WELL! AT THIS RATE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE WRITING ORIGINAL FICTION! EXCEPT NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ORIGINAL! AND DON’T YOU DARE SULLY THE NAME OF A GREAT ACTOR BY DRAGGIN HIM INTO THIS FIC! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! I WANT YOUR EYEBALLS MOUNTED ON MY MANTELPIECE!
Chase ducked and dodged the kick then dropped down on his hands and kicked Tora in the chin knocking him down on the ground.
James: Caroline? You waking up? Please wake up! Seriously!
"Guah!"
Nanai: YOU FUCKING LITTLE-
Caroline: Who’s that yelling? Stop that! I have a horrible headache…
Nanai: *Wide eyed* Carrey? Carrey, you’re awake! Yay! I knew you wouldn’t abandon me! Carrey~ *Snuggles*
James: *Pats chest in relief*
"We done now?"
Caroline: Oh, we’re finished?
"Hmph, I'll leave this island for now!
Caroline: Damn…
But remember that the East Blue is under the Shark King's control! So beware! We'll be back!"
James: …And why didn’t he flee before? Did he seriously think he could take out the guy who killed his entire crew in one shot?
Caroline: Somehow, I find it exceedingly unbelievable that these sociopaths are going to let him go like that…
Tora yelled as he gathered his crew mates that began to awake and jumped back on their boat.
Caroline: Oh. They weren’t dead. Well, why didn’t you tell us that, Stuthor? Don’t you think that’s an important fact to mention? That your main character haven’t actually killed those guys? Because judging from what they did to the marines, I found it entirely plausible that they mercilessly slaughtered anyone who so much as looked at them wrong.
Nanai: Don’t get yourself worked up so much. Just ignore it. *Snuggles happily*
David continued to poke the unconcious fishmen.
Caroline: *Twitches*
Nanai: *Quickly* Here! Eat an orange! They’re good for you!
"So the Shark King...is a fishman too?"
Caroline: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK HE WAS? HIS ENTIRE CREW IS MADE UP OF FISHMEN, AND HE’S CALLED THE FREAKING ‘SHARK KING’! WHAT , YOU THOUGHT HE WAS AN ELF?
Nanai: Are you sure you don’t want the orange? They’re really nice!
"Yes David..." Chase answered in annoyance.
"Cool! I hope he's strong if he's king!"
Caroline: So you could hunt him down and kill him? Yeah, that works with your characterisation.
James: These guys aren’t even going after him because he’s being nasty to the villagers. They just want to hurt people. They just want a fight. They don’t even stop to consider whether those people deserved being beaten up…Heck, the fact that the Shark King wasn’t a nice guy was probably just a nice bonus!
"Yeah, let's go."
Caroline: (David) My family? Duh…who’s that? I don’t need to check if my family’s alright! Torture is the only thing that matters!
"Right. With me first mate!" David marched off with a big smile on his face.
Caroline: (David) Damn, watching my neighbours being slaughtered makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside!
"Whatever Cap."
Caroline: (Chase) Whatever, as long as I get to kill people…
Next time:
Caroline: THE STU FUCKING DIES!
The mystery man who ate the Omni Omni Fruit has decided to make his first move into becoming Pirate King.
Nanai: Huh. That guy is apparently the antagonist…Well, at least this story will have some semblance of conflict. And the author has enough shame to not give it to one of the main characters…
James: I…have a feeling that statement is going to come back and haunt you.
First he needs to call forth all of the new Shichibukai, along with give orders to his new allies. Or more like his new army, as he prepares to achive his dream.
Nanai: …Did the author just completely spoil his villain’s plans? Well…that’s stupid…
Caroline: Of course it is. Did you expect anything else from this Stuthor?
Review!
Caroline: Fuck you!
‘Good job, Sporkers! Please proceed to the lounge for your break.’ The Voice boomed, startling James again.
‘And fuck you too!’ Caroline leaped up and swore.
‘Now, now, there’s no need for profanity. Just one Chapter left, and you guys can take a nice long break!’ The voice paused, then continued rather reluctantly. ‘Depending on your state, I might even bring in some other guys to help…’
‘I’ll say what I fucking want, you fucking fuckwad!’
Tugging on her sister’s shirt, Nanai smiled. ‘Come on, Caroline! No need to get so worked up! Here, I’ll sing you a nice song in the break!’
James sighed and watched Caroline flounce off to the Lounge followed by an uncharacteristically nervous Nanai. He’s only been here for once chapter, and the effects the fic had on his companions are alarming, to say the least.
He sighed again, and stood rather wearily.
One more Chapter…surely he could make it. After all, it couldn’t possibly get worse, right?
Right?
Go Forward to: Chapter 3, Part 1
Go Back to: Chapter 2, Part 1