New Moon: Ch. 19 and 20 Re-cap
Sorry this is so late! I am made of fail!
Chapters: 19 and 20
Poster:
mollywobbles867
Hi, I’m kinda new to this community and well, new to the fandom as a whole. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Team Switz, though I kinda lean toward Bella/Jacob. I pick life over death, though in RL I’m pro-choice. Too bad Bella doesn’t have a choice of becoming a vamp. I’d probably ship them if Bella wasn’t such a loser. So, now you get the idea of the perspective I’ll be bringing to this re-cap of chapters 19 and 20. I’m covering for
the_angry_pixie who is swamped with exams and such. Let’s wish her luck!
Oh, and I like Alice, so be snarky all you want in the comments, but it probably won’t be from me.
19. RACE
Ha. It’s only the first sentence and the snark comes: “We made our flight with seconds to spare, and then the true torture began.”
*Pause for dramatic effect*
It’s only now beginning? What? Please, absorb that with me and keep an eye out for bamboo shunts that may be shoved under your fingernails (a la Sayid on LOST, not the bad metaphor in the first chapter of BD).
“It’s faster than running” says Alice to get Bella to stop annoying her with her fidgeting. Makes the blood pump faster and all and unless Alice hunted while she avoided Jacob in the previous chapter, she’s damn hungry still. Vamps on a plane! Someone call Samuel L. Jackson! Or Buffy.
What was my point? Oh yeah... “faster than running.” Were they going to run across the Atlantic? Of course flying is faster than running when there’s a massive sea between here and there.
I wouldn’t put it past SM to have Edward walk on water, though. Then he and Bella can give birth to the anti-Christ.
I’ll try to pace myself, or else I’ll be making fun of the punctuation.
I kind of jumped into this thing with full-force snark, let me catch you up: Alice and Bella are heading to Italy to prevent Edward from committing vampire suicide, aka Deux Ex Machina. That’s pretty much it. Also, Alice is trying to figure out exactly how he’s going to do it, but he keeps changing his mind.
Bella is antsy and can’t sit still and she’s probably the bitch that kicks the back of your seat on a plane.
Alice makes an illegal phone call on her cell phone, but Bella’s expression stops the stewardess from saying anything. What??? Bella’s expression? Don’t be so conceited Bella, I’m sure it was the weird vibe that the Cullens give off. You know…the one you’re too stupid to avoid!
I’m going to ignore the fact that Bella can hear Alice now, talking low, when normally she can’t. This is an information dump, after all.
Where’s Giles when you need him? He’d be cleaning his glasses just about now.
Am I the only one who finds the image of Edward holding a car over his head absolutely hilarious? I’m imagining Rpatzz doing it.
Also, while we’re on the subject of Edward doing things that would “expose” vampires: how? How is Edward lifting a car over his head going to make a human watch it and exclaim : “OMG! I knew it! Vampires are fo reelz!111” I mean, honestly. Now, sucking someone’s blood in a public place would do it, but c’mon. If you saw someone lift a car, would you think “vampire!” or would you: a) get your eyes checked; b) call David Letterman; c) ask him to move furniture for you?
That’s what I thought.
Alice gets off the phone with Jasper and explains to Bella why the others can’t come to help them. It boils down to: Edward would be stupid faster if he saw them coming and Alice doesn’t want to lose Jasper over Edward doing something stupid.
This begs the question: what’s the speed of stupid? You mathematicians out there, get on that ASAP.
Then Bella thinks about how she can’t believe he’s doing this over her, and I have to say that I agree. Why, Edward, why???
Yada, yada, boring stuff. Alice asks how much Bella knows about the Volturi, which is just enough to know they can kill Edward really dead.
Alice explains them more: 3 men + 2 women + a big guard = You’re screwed now! Srs biznz !
Seriously, how cool are the Volturi? It sucks that SM is such a bad writer because their potential won’t be as explored as it should be. Why couldn’t have Stephen King had a dream about a vampire coven in Italy that is the Al Capone of all vampire covens? Without the taxes, that is.
Anyway, Bella’s reaction to the mention of the guard is “That sounds…serious.” Really, Bella? I thought this was all kittens and giggles so far. NOW vampires are serious.
LOL at this exchange:
“I mean, I wanted to be a…to be one of you! Shouldn’t somebody have explained the rules to me?”
Alice laughs at Bella’s stupid and says “It’s not that complicated, Bella [you n00b]. There’s only one core restriction-and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself.”
Bella thinks and says she has no idea.
Bella is supposed to be smart, right? Then why is she so totally oblivious about everything?
Basically, they have to keep being a vamp a secret. And irony of all ironies, Volterra is the safest city in the world according to Alice, even though it’s run by vampires.
It’s the suburbs that are the real danger.
Honestly, I’m still confused how vamps could be exposed short of drinking someone’s blood on live TV. I mean, even if people saw it, who’d believe them? Not everyone is as accepting of it as Bella, who has more of a reaction to the idea of marriage than to the idea of vampires and werewolves.
Vampires and werewolves? No problem. Weddings and vows? Run for the hills! But, I’ll die to be with you. We just will never share a bathroom.
Now Bella’s thinking about how easy it is to talk and think about Edward now that she’s about to see him, even if she’s about to die. In fact “It was comforting to know that I would have an easy out.” Yes, because having one’s blood sucked dry is an easy out. And I imagine that the Volturi would make it a slow process seeing as how tasty Bella’s blood is supposed to be. I imagine them eating a little, sucking the venom out and feeding on her for weeks before killing her.
I’m not evil, I promise. I just watch Buffy. Oh, okay, I am evil. *hides bamboo shunts*
Alice senses that Bella plans to die if Edward does and is mightily pissed about it. I would be too. As the only “good” vamp around, it would be up to Alice to save Bella’s sorry ass and that would piss me off too. After all, Alice/Charlie is my fanon OTP. Not really, but c’mon, it would kill Charlie and Alice likes Charlie.
Bella gives the “scout’s honor” that she won’t cause trouble. LOL at Bella being a scout.
Alice tries to see what Edward’s thinking and Bella watches her, wishing she could be anything but a loser panicked.
What I think she really wishes was that she heard Edward’s voice in her head. It doesn’t matter what the hell’s going on as long as she’s borderline schizophrenic.
This line sums up the books for me:“I couldn’t even tell if the movie was supposed to be a romance or a horror film.” And that’s without the vampires and werewolves for me.
They change planes in NYC.
Alice goes back into her stupor after telling Bella that Edward’s decided what he’s going to do. !SUSPENSE! Except, it’s in the preface, so not so much.
Bella slips into emo-mode and opens the window (I think that means pulls up the shade as I’m sure it would suck to actually open a window on a plane) and stares morosely at the gremlin on the wing darkness.
She starts thinking about what she’s going to tell her dad about her absence and really doesn’t figure anything out.
What’s this? She thinks about Jacob:
“And Jacob? He’d promised to wait for me, but did that promise still apply? Would I end up home alone in Forks, with no one at all? Maybe I didn’t want to survive, no matter what happened.”
And this is the utter fail of the series, in my opinion. God forbid a girl is single. She must die instead. Samantha Jones does not approve.
Bella then falls asleep and Alice wakes her up when she’s figured out that the Volturi are going to ask Edward to join them. This, conveniently, will make Edward become more creative and give them more time.
Then Alice explains how her visions work and all that, which really kinda contradicts what was said in the first book, but that’s the nature of a book by SM. She doesn’t really plan much out, after all.
Then Bella wishes she had just been turned into a vamp already and Alice says she’s thinking about just changing Bella herself. This plan kind of saves their ass later. I think Alice knew that and “lied” in her thoughts. But, then it still means Bella must be changed and all that, but that’s for another person to re-cap.
Bella wants to be changed right then. On a plane. Full of people. She’s going to make a great, very discreet vampire.
Yada, yada, yada...Bella doesn't care about the other passengers or that Alice would probably just kill her which would be really cool.
Maybe when I was beautiful and strong, he wouldn't want distractions. And this folks is the entire basis of their "love." At least on her part. She just wants to be pretty.
Bella falls asleep again, Alice wakes her up again, and tells Bella what Edward's plan is: walking into the sunlight and sparkling.
He's going to be his one man gay parade, sparkling rainbows and all! I know if I saw that, I'd think "vampire." Or not.
They think they can get there in time and Alice steals a car. Every time I read this, I think of the episode of Top Gear where they try to find the best driving road in Europe in really sporty cars. Alice steals a bright yellow Porsche. Hell, I would too. She drives like the Knight Bus through airport traffic and they're off to Volterra!
Alice tells Bella about the festival and St. Marcus, who is actually a member of the Volturi. So, what Edward is about to do would be like your drunk uncle dancing naked on a table with a lamp shade on his head at your birthday party. Except sparkly.
They start working out their plan and Bella's biggest worry is tripping over her own feet.
And then there they are.
20. Volterra
It has teenytiny roads. She should've stolen a Mini.
SM describes the scene and it sounds just like a Six Flags parking lot.
Bella readies herself to jump out of the car at Alice's word. Too bad it won't be moving at the time. A rent-a-cop security guard stops them and Alice bribes him so they can drive closer. It truly would be easier to just get out and run. But, it needs to be at the last minute so there's !suspense!
SM fails at description some more and now it's time for Bella to run and stop Edward before he steps out into the sun and declares himself a disco ball.
Bella runs across a fountain a la Forrest Gump. Run Bella Ru-un! The clock starts chiming and Bella pushes through a line of valets men in red vests, and the bell keeps on a tolling. She sees a family, which, if I remember correctly make a cameo later.
By this time, the loony bin has been called to take away the crazy American girl.
Then she sees him, still as a statue, looking like he just dropped acid. Which is appropriate for becoming a disco ball. I think I know someone who had that trip once.
Even now, with all the danger, Bella thinks about how beautiful he is because, well, she's kinda shallow when it comes to him. Then she slams into him because he can't hear her even though he has super-human hearing.
And he thinks he's in heaven. *passes out vomit bags* I stole them from the plane.
He quotes Romeo because SM is oh-so-subtle. Where's a dagger when you need one? She tries to convince him that he's not dead. Then he finally gets it when the Volturi show up. (I now have the song "Your Own Personal Jesus" running through my head; how odd). Yada, yada...Jane shows up. Woot! She's teeny tiny, but everyone is afraid of her. Just like the mafia. And Edward gives up because he wants to be tied up by her knows he can't do anything now. Alice shows up and they head towards the entrance to the tunnel to Volturi castle and into the rabbit hole they go. Bella's freezing, but she still wants to cozy up to the humanoid iceberg.
Questions:
1. So, what would you do if you saw someone lift a car over their head or turn into a disco ball? Would you think vampire? Call Letterman? What?
2. So how cool are the Volturi? Don't they rock?
3. Just how stupid is Bella really?
4. What'd you think of Bella's one thought of Jacob in these chapters?
5. What do you think of Bella wanting to die rather than be alone?
6. How did I do?
This was so much fun! I think I may have abused the strikeout function, though. lol
ETA: Thanks for all the great comments! I would love to be a professional writer, so the response is very encouraging! Again, thank you! [/Sally Field moment]
Chapters: 19 and 20
Poster:
mollywobbles867
Hi, I’m kinda new to this community and well, new to the fandom as a whole. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Team Switz, though I kinda lean toward Bella/Jacob. I pick life over death, though in RL I’m pro-choice. Too bad Bella doesn’t have a choice of becoming a vamp. I’d probably ship them if Bella wasn’t such a loser. So, now you get the idea of the perspective I’ll be bringing to this re-cap of chapters 19 and 20. I’m covering for
the_angry_pixie who is swamped with exams and such. Let’s wish her luck!
Oh, and I like Alice, so be snarky all you want in the comments, but it probably won’t be from me.
19. RACE
Ha. It’s only the first sentence and the snark comes: “We made our flight with seconds to spare, and then the true torture began.”
*Pause for dramatic effect*
It’s only now beginning? What? Please, absorb that with me and keep an eye out for bamboo shunts that may be shoved under your fingernails (a la Sayid on LOST, not the bad metaphor in the first chapter of BD).
“It’s faster than running” says Alice to get Bella to stop annoying her with her fidgeting. Makes the blood pump faster and all and unless Alice hunted while she avoided Jacob in the previous chapter, she’s damn hungry still. Vamps on a plane! Someone call Samuel L. Jackson! Or Buffy.
What was my point? Oh yeah... “faster than running.” Were they going to run across the Atlantic? Of course flying is faster than running when there’s a massive sea between here and there.
I wouldn’t put it past SM to have Edward walk on water, though. Then he and Bella can give birth to the anti-Christ.
I’ll try to pace myself, or else I’ll be making fun of the punctuation.
I kind of jumped into this thing with full-force snark, let me catch you up: Alice and Bella are heading to Italy to prevent Edward from committing vampire suicide, aka Deux Ex Machina. That’s pretty much it. Also, Alice is trying to figure out exactly how he’s going to do it, but he keeps changing his mind.
Bella is antsy and can’t sit still and she’s probably the bitch that kicks the back of your seat on a plane.
Alice makes an illegal phone call on her cell phone, but Bella’s expression stops the stewardess from saying anything. What??? Bella’s expression? Don’t be so conceited Bella, I’m sure it was the weird vibe that the Cullens give off. You know…the one you’re too stupid to avoid!
I’m going to ignore the fact that Bella can hear Alice now, talking low, when normally she can’t. This is an information dump, after all.
Where’s Giles when you need him? He’d be cleaning his glasses just about now.
Am I the only one who finds the image of Edward holding a car over his head absolutely hilarious? I’m imagining Rpatzz doing it.
Also, while we’re on the subject of Edward doing things that would “expose” vampires: how? How is Edward lifting a car over his head going to make a human watch it and exclaim : “OMG! I knew it! Vampires are fo reelz!111” I mean, honestly. Now, sucking someone’s blood in a public place would do it, but c’mon. If you saw someone lift a car, would you think “vampire!” or would you: a) get your eyes checked; b) call David Letterman; c) ask him to move furniture for you?
That’s what I thought.
Alice gets off the phone with Jasper and explains to Bella why the others can’t come to help them. It boils down to: Edward would be stupid faster if he saw them coming and Alice doesn’t want to lose Jasper over Edward doing something stupid.
This begs the question: what’s the speed of stupid? You mathematicians out there, get on that ASAP.
Then Bella thinks about how she can’t believe he’s doing this over her, and I have to say that I agree. Why, Edward, why???
Yada, yada, boring stuff. Alice asks how much Bella knows about the Volturi, which is just enough to know they can kill Edward really dead.
Alice explains them more: 3 men + 2 women + a big guard = You’re screwed now! Srs biznz !
Seriously, how cool are the Volturi? It sucks that SM is such a bad writer because their potential won’t be as explored as it should be. Why couldn’t have Stephen King had a dream about a vampire coven in Italy that is the Al Capone of all vampire covens? Without the taxes, that is.
Anyway, Bella’s reaction to the mention of the guard is “That sounds…serious.” Really, Bella? I thought this was all kittens and giggles so far. NOW vampires are serious.
LOL at this exchange:
“I mean, I wanted to be a…to be one of you! Shouldn’t somebody have explained the rules to me?”
Alice laughs at Bella’s stupid and says “It’s not that complicated, Bella [you n00b]. There’s only one core restriction-and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself.”
Bella thinks and says she has no idea.
Bella is supposed to be smart, right? Then why is she so totally oblivious about everything?
Basically, they have to keep being a vamp a secret. And irony of all ironies, Volterra is the safest city in the world according to Alice, even though it’s run by vampires.
It’s the suburbs that are the real danger.
Honestly, I’m still confused how vamps could be exposed short of drinking someone’s blood on live TV. I mean, even if people saw it, who’d believe them? Not everyone is as accepting of it as Bella, who has more of a reaction to the idea of marriage than to the idea of vampires and werewolves.
Vampires and werewolves? No problem. Weddings and vows? Run for the hills! But, I’ll die to be with you. We just will never share a bathroom.
Now Bella’s thinking about how easy it is to talk and think about Edward now that she’s about to see him, even if she’s about to die. In fact “It was comforting to know that I would have an easy out.” Yes, because having one’s blood sucked dry is an easy out. And I imagine that the Volturi would make it a slow process seeing as how tasty Bella’s blood is supposed to be. I imagine them eating a little, sucking the venom out and feeding on her for weeks before killing her.
I’m not evil, I promise. I just watch Buffy. Oh, okay, I am evil. *hides bamboo shunts*
Alice senses that Bella plans to die if Edward does and is mightily pissed about it. I would be too. As the only “good” vamp around, it would be up to Alice to save Bella’s sorry ass and that would piss me off too. After all, Alice/Charlie is my fanon OTP. Not really, but c’mon, it would kill Charlie and Alice likes Charlie.
Bella gives the “scout’s honor” that she won’t cause trouble. LOL at Bella being a scout.
Alice tries to see what Edward’s thinking and Bella watches her, wishing she could be anything but a loser panicked.
What I think she really wishes was that she heard Edward’s voice in her head. It doesn’t matter what the hell’s going on as long as she’s borderline schizophrenic.
This line sums up the books for me:“I couldn’t even tell if the movie was supposed to be a romance or a horror film.” And that’s without the vampires and werewolves for me.
They change planes in NYC.
Alice goes back into her stupor after telling Bella that Edward’s decided what he’s going to do. !SUSPENSE! Except, it’s in the preface, so not so much.
Bella slips into emo-mode and opens the window (I think that means pulls up the shade as I’m sure it would suck to actually open a window on a plane) and stares morosely at the gremlin on the wing darkness.
She starts thinking about what she’s going to tell her dad about her absence and really doesn’t figure anything out.
What’s this? She thinks about Jacob:
“And Jacob? He’d promised to wait for me, but did that promise still apply? Would I end up home alone in Forks, with no one at all? Maybe I didn’t want to survive, no matter what happened.”
And this is the utter fail of the series, in my opinion. God forbid a girl is single. She must die instead. Samantha Jones does not approve.
Bella then falls asleep and Alice wakes her up when she’s figured out that the Volturi are going to ask Edward to join them. This, conveniently, will make Edward become more creative and give them more time.
Then Alice explains how her visions work and all that, which really kinda contradicts what was said in the first book, but that’s the nature of a book by SM. She doesn’t really plan much out, after all.
Then Bella wishes she had just been turned into a vamp already and Alice says she’s thinking about just changing Bella herself. This plan kind of saves their ass later. I think Alice knew that and “lied” in her thoughts. But, then it still means Bella must be changed and all that, but that’s for another person to re-cap.
Bella wants to be changed right then. On a plane. Full of people. She’s going to make a great, very discreet vampire.
Yada, yada, yada...Bella doesn't care about the other passengers or that Alice would probably just kill her which would be really cool.
Maybe when I was beautiful and strong, he wouldn't want distractions. And this folks is the entire basis of their "love." At least on her part. She just wants to be pretty.
Bella falls asleep again, Alice wakes her up again, and tells Bella what Edward's plan is: walking into the sunlight and sparkling.
He's going to be his one man gay parade, sparkling rainbows and all! I know if I saw that, I'd think "vampire." Or not.
They think they can get there in time and Alice steals a car. Every time I read this, I think of the episode of Top Gear where they try to find the best driving road in Europe in really sporty cars. Alice steals a bright yellow Porsche. Hell, I would too. She drives like the Knight Bus through airport traffic and they're off to Volterra!
Alice tells Bella about the festival and St. Marcus, who is actually a member of the Volturi. So, what Edward is about to do would be like your drunk uncle dancing naked on a table with a lamp shade on his head at your birthday party. Except sparkly.
They start working out their plan and Bella's biggest worry is tripping over her own feet.
And then there they are.
20. Volterra
It has teenytiny roads. She should've stolen a Mini.
SM describes the scene and it sounds just like a Six Flags parking lot.
Bella readies herself to jump out of the car at Alice's word. Too bad it won't be moving at the time. A rent-a-cop security guard stops them and Alice bribes him so they can drive closer. It truly would be easier to just get out and run. But, it needs to be at the last minute so there's !suspense!
SM fails at description some more and now it's time for Bella to run and stop Edward before he steps out into the sun and declares himself a disco ball.
Bella runs across a fountain a la Forrest Gump. Run Bella Ru-un! The clock starts chiming and Bella pushes through a line of valets men in red vests, and the bell keeps on a tolling. She sees a family, which, if I remember correctly make a cameo later.
By this time, the loony bin has been called to take away the crazy American girl.
Then she sees him, still as a statue, looking like he just dropped acid. Which is appropriate for becoming a disco ball. I think I know someone who had that trip once.
Even now, with all the danger, Bella thinks about how beautiful he is because, well, she's kinda shallow when it comes to him. Then she slams into him because he can't hear her even though he has super-human hearing.
And he thinks he's in heaven. *passes out vomit bags* I stole them from the plane.
He quotes Romeo because SM is oh-so-subtle. Where's a dagger when you need one? She tries to convince him that he's not dead. Then he finally gets it when the Volturi show up. (I now have the song "Your Own Personal Jesus" running through my head; how odd). Yada, yada...Jane shows up. Woot! She's teeny tiny, but everyone is afraid of her. Just like the mafia. And Edward gives up because he wants to be tied up by her knows he can't do anything now. Alice shows up and they head towards the entrance to the tunnel to Volturi castle and into the rabbit hole they go. Bella's freezing, but she still wants to cozy up to the humanoid iceberg.
Questions:
1. So, what would you do if you saw someone lift a car over their head or turn into a disco ball? Would you think vampire? Call Letterman? What?
2. So how cool are the Volturi? Don't they rock?
3. Just how stupid is Bella really?
4. What'd you think of Bella's one thought of Jacob in these chapters?
5. What do you think of Bella wanting to die rather than be alone?
6. How did I do?
This was so much fun! I think I may have abused the strikeout function, though. lol
ETA: Thanks for all the great comments! I would love to be a professional writer, so the response is very encouraging! Again, thank you! [/Sally Field moment]