Good News, Honey! Or: That Time Stephanie Kneed Damian in the Balls

[sortofahero]

Stephanie Brown was pissed, which was rarely good news for anyone. She did stupid things when she was upset, and although she thought with a clearer head now than in years past, an upset Stephanie was still bad news for anyone in her immediate vicinity

Comments

[stabbitybat]

Damian had learned a long time ago never to expect behavior from Stephanie that would make sense to anyone else. She was Stephanie, she didn't make any sense.

Then again, most of her violence against him up until this point had been limited to sparring or the occasional smack or pinch.

This was different.

This hurt.

A lot.

After the initial shock subsided, the pain of what she'd done registered in Damian's brain. He had trained as a small child to avoid showing pain or weakness. But he still flinched.

Steph really knew how to knee a guy in the groin.

It was quite a long time (and an ice pack) later when Damian followed after her. She'd already eaten his cereal - not that he was hungry any more - and he eyed her warily from a distance. "What was that for?"

[sortofahero]

From a distance was good. Damian was smart, sometimes. Steph was smart, too. She was a smart, careful person, which was why there was no reason that the two of them should have been in this situation to start with. But there it was.

When Damian found her, she was in the living room, bookmarking articles on WebMD. She looked up, eyebrows raised in a way that made it clear that Damian was still in hot water.

"I could literally give you a list."

Seriously -- she'd been looking at one earlier. Cramps. Weight gain. Tearing. Contractions. And she wasn't a teenager anymore, so things were not going to just snap back and firm up.

"I could give you a list, but I'm not going to. Because I would get even more upset and knee you in the groin again. Harder. But I need to go shopping now, and you should probably come with me."

[stabbitybat]

"A list?" Not only was she trying to cause him serious bodily harm, potentially reduce his sperm count, and interfere with their sex life, but now she had a list?

And she needed to shop?

This was more confusing than usual. His eyes flickered over to the computer screen, but she'd apparently already closed whatever she was looking at.

"What... are we shopping for?" He stayed a good distance away, but moved towards the garage.

[sortofahero]

Shit. What were they shopping for? The realization that she didn't exactly know the answer only served to further Steph's bad mood. She shot him another look and shook her head as she walked towards the garage.

Last time, the plan had been to give the baby away. She didn't need to worry about what to do with the kid after having it.

Books. Obviously, she needed to start with those. A crib -- one for the manor and one for her apartment. One of those things that you put diapers into that made them stink less. Vitamins, a stroller--

"Things," Stephanie said, grabbing a set of keys off of a rack. She looked down, then up at the garage. And all of the cars in it. Who needed that many cars?

"I'm driving. What the hell am I driving?"