Harder and Harder
Every day I pray there is an apocalypse. This way, June 1 never comes.
I realized something - that leaving Greg, trying to teach him, help him grow and see responsibility, take on your own life and stand on your own two feet, and show him what he is going to lose ... that I didn't realize how much I would lose too.
Every day seems to meld into the next.
I come to work, I stress out there with email after email of what needs to be done better or has to be done right that second, and then I go home, and I peer into a glass of red wine while watching my shows on my iPad trying desperately to curl into Greg tighter and tigher; breathing in every smell, feeling him beside me. I miss him already. And then I fall asleep, wake up at 4 a.m. and do it all over again.
Someone said to me that maybe this will bring us closer together later. But people don't recover from stuff like this - they don't move to separate cities and then come back to each other stronger. I thought this would be so easy, a relief, a hope that things will be brighter and instead?! it's the exact opposite. I found the ring I engraved our names on threeyears ago last night...I had kept it in the box my promise ring came in from my birthday two years ago, along with another ring. I wear my promise ring on my right hand now, and when I opened that box as I heard clinking inside, I decided I cannot pack a box with that ring in it just yet.
I realized something - that leaving Greg, trying to teach him, help him grow and see responsibility, take on your own life and stand on your own two feet, and show him what he is going to lose ... that I didn't realize how much I would lose too.
Every day seems to meld into the next.
I come to work, I stress out there with email after email of what needs to be done better or has to be done right that second, and then I go home, and I peer into a glass of red wine while watching my shows on my iPad trying desperately to curl into Greg tighter and tigher; breathing in every smell, feeling him beside me. I miss him already. And then I fall asleep, wake up at 4 a.m. and do it all over again.
Someone said to me that maybe this will bring us closer together later. But people don't recover from stuff like this - they don't move to separate cities and then come back to each other stronger. I thought this would be so easy, a relief, a hope that things will be brighter and instead?! it's the exact opposite. I found the ring I engraved our names on threeyears ago last night...I had kept it in the box my promise ring came in from my birthday two years ago, along with another ring. I wear my promise ring on my right hand now, and when I opened that box as I heard clinking inside, I decided I cannot pack a box with that ring in it just yet.