last day at magnamail
Yes it's true, I'm leaving forever! My new admin job starts on Monday which is kinda gay coz I don't get a holiday before I start but at least I'll start earning more $$ for xmas shopping. I'll actually really miss the place coz of the people, it's strange to meet so many genuinely nice and supportive people all in the same place. I guess like attracts like. Anyway I got a "glowing" reference from my boss which was awesome, I think Chantal is probably the best boss I've ever had. Haha is there a connection there? Anyway I'm bestowing the legacy of my headset upon Eileen to honour forever :)
My mum was really excited and happy for me about the new job, but she's driving me nuts. I've gone from eagerly looking forward to the challenge, to dreading it, because she reckons I could blow it. I think I'll do better than she thinks, but it does instill that nervous sense of crap-I-can't-do-this inside me. We had a big spat about it yesterday and continued on today. I was so angry I googled "how to kill your parents" and it gave me 60 results (I was expecting a lot more).
Anyway this was a good one:
POISONING:
If you don't want to shell out the dough for the cyanide all you have to do is put some draino or another oven cleaner/drain cleaner in your parents' food. As soon as they eat it they will start gagging and if your parents have any brains at all (you'll be surprised how many actually do) they will try to reach for the phone to dial 911 or your grandma's house to tell her (the grandma or the 911 operator) that they (your parental units) are dying. So what you need to do is make sure that the phone is unplugged.
Another poisoning technique is to get some poisonous mushrooms and if your parents are cooking something with mushrooms put in the poisonous ones too. You can also give your parents stuff that they are allergic to, like if they are allergic to spicy stuff put some red pepper in their salad or whatever. If they are lactose-intolerant put some cheese in their spaghetti. Just remember to unplug the phone so your parents can't call anybody.
UPS: If you used the cyanide method(s) your parents will die for sure in about 5 minutes unless they start sticking 2 fingers down their throats and barfing it all up. (But we can prevent that by chopping off their fingers, can't we?)
DOWNS: Sometimes if you feed your parents stuff they are allergic to, they might not actually die but they will experience some great discomfort that can be really fun to watch. (ew!)
I also like the suffocation method because it seems appropriate since I often feel like she suffocates me. But I think it'd probably be harder to hold a plastic bag over her head and stare her in the eyes while she dies, it's just way too hands-on.
Then again, I don't think I could ever actually kill own my mother... but it's nice to dream ^_^ (That's my disclaimer just in case I actually do kill her and I need evidence that I never really meant to kill her.)
Then again, if this girl can do it... [ link ] << See what controlling parents drive us to!
So guess what, I'm home all alone on a Friday night. I hate the feeling, being trapped in this house with nowhere to go. It's so bad sometimes, being at home. Not to mention all the bedbugs in the guestroom that have left Cawer with red marks all over his body :( I'll hafta try to spend more weeknights somewhere else, even if it means sitting alone in the library. (My phonebooth days are over.)
Btw I've had to disable anonymous commenting for a while because of previous abuse of the feature, but I hope to tentatively restore it soon. (If you are the reason I disabled it, pretty please stop visiting this blog. I'd like to keep it if I can. And I hate having to keep looking out for and deleting unwanted comments - it's really hard!)
My mum was really excited and happy for me about the new job, but she's driving me nuts. I've gone from eagerly looking forward to the challenge, to dreading it, because she reckons I could blow it. I think I'll do better than she thinks, but it does instill that nervous sense of crap-I-can't-do-this inside me. We had a big spat about it yesterday and continued on today. I was so angry I googled "how to kill your parents" and it gave me 60 results (I was expecting a lot more).
Anyway this was a good one:
POISONING:
If you don't want to shell out the dough for the cyanide all you have to do is put some draino or another oven cleaner/drain cleaner in your parents' food. As soon as they eat it they will start gagging and if your parents have any brains at all (you'll be surprised how many actually do) they will try to reach for the phone to dial 911 or your grandma's house to tell her (the grandma or the 911 operator) that they (your parental units) are dying. So what you need to do is make sure that the phone is unplugged.
Another poisoning technique is to get some poisonous mushrooms and if your parents are cooking something with mushrooms put in the poisonous ones too. You can also give your parents stuff that they are allergic to, like if they are allergic to spicy stuff put some red pepper in their salad or whatever. If they are lactose-intolerant put some cheese in their spaghetti. Just remember to unplug the phone so your parents can't call anybody.
UPS: If you used the cyanide method(s) your parents will die for sure in about 5 minutes unless they start sticking 2 fingers down their throats and barfing it all up. (But we can prevent that by chopping off their fingers, can't we?)
DOWNS: Sometimes if you feed your parents stuff they are allergic to, they might not actually die but they will experience some great discomfort that can be really fun to watch. (ew!)
I also like the suffocation method because it seems appropriate since I often feel like she suffocates me. But I think it'd probably be harder to hold a plastic bag over her head and stare her in the eyes while she dies, it's just way too hands-on.
Then again, I don't think I could ever actually kill own my mother... but it's nice to dream ^_^ (That's my disclaimer just in case I actually do kill her and I need evidence that I never really meant to kill her.)
Then again, if this girl can do it... [ link ] << See what controlling parents drive us to!
So guess what, I'm home all alone on a Friday night. I hate the feeling, being trapped in this house with nowhere to go. It's so bad sometimes, being at home. Not to mention all the bedbugs in the guestroom that have left Cawer with red marks all over his body :( I'll hafta try to spend more weeknights somewhere else, even if it means sitting alone in the library. (My phonebooth days are over.)
Btw I've had to disable anonymous commenting for a while because of previous abuse of the feature, but I hope to tentatively restore it soon. (If you are the reason I disabled it, pretty please stop visiting this blog. I'd like to keep it if I can. And I hate having to keep looking out for and deleting unwanted comments - it's really hard!)