anger management
I think I have anger issues.
If we have an unfulfilled expectation of a person we become angry and upset... when the person or event does not match the expectation a pressure develops within and the mind becomes angry.
It can also be that a person creates too many rules by which another person should live by. This leads to conflicts when the other person does not act in accordance with the predefined rules. Therefore this strict rule making leads to anger and can be the foundation to destroying a relationship.
We often derive negative thinking patterns from our family, friends or adolescent and childhood peers. These negative thought patterns become very deeply ingrained in our subconscious. They pervade our every day thinking. We have become very accustomed to them due to having acquired so many of these negative thought patterns. Thus the tendency to think negatively becomes established early on in life. Consequently, negative thinking becomes like an addiction. Despite our awareness of its adverse effects upon our mental and physical well-being we are unable to give up this habitual negative trait.
I'm screwed up. I always thought I was a peaceful and forgiving person, but maybe not. I keep getting these brief moments of anger where my breathing becomes short and my chest becomes tight and it's like I'm seeing red. I felt like hurling my clothes basket at my mother this morning but I didn't want to dirty all my lovely washed laundry.
I did a search on anger and the above made me think YES! I can blame my anger and negativity on my mother. And I can blame her own constant day-to-day anger on her expections for everyone to follow her rules and do everything her way. But then there's the rest of it:
If we can understand that it's not the other person making us angry, but our own way of thinking, then we can change and reduce the adverse effects of anger. A motto to use is, 'No one annoys or upsets me but it's my inability to tolerate or think positive that makes me angry'.
I guess it makes sense. But it doesn't stop me wanting to hurt that woman somehow. Many years ago I was once so angry at her that when she was choking on a prawn shell I refused to go and get help. I felt so guilty for years after that but I wonder if I'd do it again. I'm so vengeful sometimes it's scary. What if one day I snap and use my new, very sharp, Magnamail non-stick chef's knife to cut her tongue out (so I don't have to listen to her anymore)?
(Actually this blog entry could be very bad for me if something happened tomorrow and she wound up dead *fingers crossed* jk!)
She reckons I'm going to drive Cawer away with my emotional problems. She may be right. Hopefully things will change once I move out and don't have to see her face everyday.
But like they said, it's a habitual negative trait. I like my habits.
If we have an unfulfilled expectation of a person we become angry and upset... when the person or event does not match the expectation a pressure develops within and the mind becomes angry.
It can also be that a person creates too many rules by which another person should live by. This leads to conflicts when the other person does not act in accordance with the predefined rules. Therefore this strict rule making leads to anger and can be the foundation to destroying a relationship.
We often derive negative thinking patterns from our family, friends or adolescent and childhood peers. These negative thought patterns become very deeply ingrained in our subconscious. They pervade our every day thinking. We have become very accustomed to them due to having acquired so many of these negative thought patterns. Thus the tendency to think negatively becomes established early on in life. Consequently, negative thinking becomes like an addiction. Despite our awareness of its adverse effects upon our mental and physical well-being we are unable to give up this habitual negative trait.
I'm screwed up. I always thought I was a peaceful and forgiving person, but maybe not. I keep getting these brief moments of anger where my breathing becomes short and my chest becomes tight and it's like I'm seeing red. I felt like hurling my clothes basket at my mother this morning but I didn't want to dirty all my lovely washed laundry.
I did a search on anger and the above made me think YES! I can blame my anger and negativity on my mother. And I can blame her own constant day-to-day anger on her expections for everyone to follow her rules and do everything her way. But then there's the rest of it:
If we can understand that it's not the other person making us angry, but our own way of thinking, then we can change and reduce the adverse effects of anger. A motto to use is, 'No one annoys or upsets me but it's my inability to tolerate or think positive that makes me angry'.
I guess it makes sense. But it doesn't stop me wanting to hurt that woman somehow. Many years ago I was once so angry at her that when she was choking on a prawn shell I refused to go and get help. I felt so guilty for years after that but I wonder if I'd do it again. I'm so vengeful sometimes it's scary. What if one day I snap and use my new, very sharp, Magnamail non-stick chef's knife to cut her tongue out (so I don't have to listen to her anymore)?
(Actually this blog entry could be very bad for me if something happened tomorrow and she wound up dead *fingers crossed* jk!)
She reckons I'm going to drive Cawer away with my emotional problems. She may be right. Hopefully things will change once I move out and don't have to see her face everyday.
But like they said, it's a habitual negative trait. I like my habits.