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Ugh. And then of course my mom emailed me back and was totally classy and apologetic and honest about the whole mess, and I'm left feeling like a total jerk. I don't think I realized until today just how much finals week messed me up; I still haven't caught up on sleep and apparently I'm totally incapable of dealing with even low-level stress. Normally I notice that kind of shit and get better before it goes sour but apparently I passed by the danger sign and straight downward into failure to cope. And then picked a depressing, awful fight with my mom two days before Christmas. I really sort of want to kick the wall right now.
On the other hand, it's hardly the first time we've had this kind of shit go down, and mom and I are, like, genetically incapable of holding grudges. (Except in a very few, very deserving cases.) So it'll be fine, and they'll come by tomorrow and we'll have an awesome dinner and it'll be good. I'm just, you know, really pissed at myself, and pissed at how much of the last few days I spent miserable now that I'm realizing that I was basically making myself miserable, and it took like six tries to finish my reply back to mom because I kept having to stop to cry.
Sometimes I wish I could thwack myself with a rolled-up newspaper, but somehow, I just don't think it would have the same effect.
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On the other hand, it's hardly the first time we've had this kind of shit go down, and mom and I are, like, genetically incapable of holding grudges. (Except in a very few, very deserving cases.) So it'll be fine, and they'll come by tomorrow and we'll have an awesome dinner and it'll be good. I'm just, you know, really pissed at myself, and pissed at how much of the last few days I spent miserable now that I'm realizing that I was basically making myself miserable, and it took like six tries to finish my reply back to mom because I kept having to stop to cry.
Sometimes I wish I could thwack myself with a rolled-up newspaper, but somehow, I just don't think it would have the same effect.
You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth (
comments)