(no subject)
i think starting work this early was a bad idea.
i can't even do the yoga thing anymore because i actually finish work an hour and a half later than i thought.
40+ hours of work a week, and 6 exams to go. i haven't even started studying. i haven't even started caring.
i dont' think i've had a decent meal in a week.
3 chancre sores appeared in my mouth out of nowhere. i cant' stand getting those.
i didn't sleep much last night. maybe 2 hours.
the night before i slept for maybe an hour. in that hour i had a dream that i tried to kill myself by taking pills that slow down your heart rate. as i took my 10th one, i regretted it and started to feel weird. i ran around like crazy and found a guy i knew. i grabbed him by the shoulders and in a panic told him what i had done. i told him to call for help. he froze. everything went black. i woke up with a panic attack. i've been feeling like crap ever since.
i think i'll take a big dose of ativan tonight.
i found out jazz has a (sort of) thing for me. he'll be gone in 2 weeks. if only i had known a long time ago...
i glare at him from across my station at work. he smiles.
he sneaks behind me while i'm working and pulls the handle that makes my chair decline. i push him away or curse if he escapes, laughing.
i wish he was staying :(
where are my damn pills.
i can't even do the yoga thing anymore because i actually finish work an hour and a half later than i thought.
40+ hours of work a week, and 6 exams to go. i haven't even started studying. i haven't even started caring.
i dont' think i've had a decent meal in a week.
3 chancre sores appeared in my mouth out of nowhere. i cant' stand getting those.
i didn't sleep much last night. maybe 2 hours.
the night before i slept for maybe an hour. in that hour i had a dream that i tried to kill myself by taking pills that slow down your heart rate. as i took my 10th one, i regretted it and started to feel weird. i ran around like crazy and found a guy i knew. i grabbed him by the shoulders and in a panic told him what i had done. i told him to call for help. he froze. everything went black. i woke up with a panic attack. i've been feeling like crap ever since.
i think i'll take a big dose of ativan tonight.
i found out jazz has a (sort of) thing for me. he'll be gone in 2 weeks. if only i had known a long time ago...
i glare at him from across my station at work. he smiles.
he sneaks behind me while i'm working and pulls the handle that makes my chair decline. i push him away or curse if he escapes, laughing.
i wish he was staying :(
where are my damn pills.