Full triangle. Er....circle.
I'm watching the new King Kong. I thought it was supposed to be a gripping edge-of-your seat blockbuster. Apparently, I can no longer relate to popular cinema, because I am bored bored bored. But we haven't gotten to the giant monkey himself yet, so I'll reserve judgment. Wait, no I won't. the editing sucks. pirate ships are way more interesting than legitimate watercraft.
Things are starting to come together, at least a little. On Wednesday I went to therapy right before giving my presentation on Mao. When I spoke with my therapist, I suddenly felt that a lot of my anxiety about Hicham and Ketzia has faded. I guess that after all that, what really got me out of my paranoia and self-loathing was nothing more than external recognition: the fellowship, the thesis, graduating early...it all made me feel like i was embarking on something all my own. the big picture was impossible to ignore, and these two people suddenly lost their power over my emotions. i kinda felt like i did during my research, looking at mao the god in the propaganda posters, and mao the toothy chain smoker at yan'an. not to say that rejecting me as a friend is as bad as causing 70 million deaths. the point is, people are just people, unless you make them more. i saw the two of them today, and for the first time, didn't get a physical wave of anxiety.
saturday there is this chinese language competition i registered for. i want to go, because it's kooky, televised (!) and would be memorable, if nothing else. but it's from 9am to 4pm all day, and i actually haven't started preparing for it really at all. basically, in keeping with this sudden self-importance i've deemed therapeutic, i don't want to do all that work if i don't have a chance of doing well. and since it's based on pure skill, not according to level, i am sure i won't.
for now, it's all i can do to drink kefir nonstop. kefir is this amazing probiotic cultured yogurt that makes your stomach feel soooo good. i love it! gulp gulp.
i have been faltering with my exercise routine but it's the last 2 weeks of school and i just have to give myself some slack. not daily anymore, sit ups every other day. that's still something, eh?
i may have a date with this hot australian guy next week. i have always wanted to go on a date with someone with a hot accent like that...it might make me actually listen to what they say!
Things are starting to come together, at least a little. On Wednesday I went to therapy right before giving my presentation on Mao. When I spoke with my therapist, I suddenly felt that a lot of my anxiety about Hicham and Ketzia has faded. I guess that after all that, what really got me out of my paranoia and self-loathing was nothing more than external recognition: the fellowship, the thesis, graduating early...it all made me feel like i was embarking on something all my own. the big picture was impossible to ignore, and these two people suddenly lost their power over my emotions. i kinda felt like i did during my research, looking at mao the god in the propaganda posters, and mao the toothy chain smoker at yan'an. not to say that rejecting me as a friend is as bad as causing 70 million deaths. the point is, people are just people, unless you make them more. i saw the two of them today, and for the first time, didn't get a physical wave of anxiety.
saturday there is this chinese language competition i registered for. i want to go, because it's kooky, televised (!) and would be memorable, if nothing else. but it's from 9am to 4pm all day, and i actually haven't started preparing for it really at all. basically, in keeping with this sudden self-importance i've deemed therapeutic, i don't want to do all that work if i don't have a chance of doing well. and since it's based on pure skill, not according to level, i am sure i won't.
for now, it's all i can do to drink kefir nonstop. kefir is this amazing probiotic cultured yogurt that makes your stomach feel soooo good. i love it! gulp gulp.
i have been faltering with my exercise routine but it's the last 2 weeks of school and i just have to give myself some slack. not daily anymore, sit ups every other day. that's still something, eh?
i may have a date with this hot australian guy next week. i have always wanted to go on a date with someone with a hot accent like that...it might make me actually listen to what they say!