blog reading is dangerous
So in a post largely about other things one of the bloggers I read made the following comment*:
We've lost sight of the fact that the liturgy our church teaches becomes the liturgy of our daily lives. For example, one of my parenting things (read: indoctrination) since my kids were small is this:
Me (when I'm out shopping with TBC and we see a young woman wearing a midriff and shorts that say HOT on the butt): TBC, what do you think that young woman thinks of herself?
TBC: She thinks she's only valuable because of her body.
This has been our little back and forth like clockwork since she was about 2. It's our shopping liturgy.A little later on she writes :
Now that TBC is grown, when she's asked why she doesn't wear certain clothes in certain places, she says "Because it gives the impression that she's only valuable for her body." It's not a rote thing. It's an ingrained thing that's become a part of her.
For some reason this comment really annoys me - and while I realize it might come across as a very different conversation in person I still feel uncomfortable about it.
I am not against teaching appropriate modest dressing to children - especially if one focuses more on the appropriate than the modest - but I am often unsure how to do it without reinforcing so much of the problems that we claim to be fighting against. It seems to me that while this liturgy may do something to encourage the authors daughter to avoid dressing like that - it also is teaching her that its ok to make assumptions about other people based on their clothing choices**. The author is working to fight against the pressures to encourage young girls to dress immodestly - but doing very little to undermine the idea that people only deserve request / dignity if they dress to meet our standards.
Why is that problematic? Well for one thing modesty is a pretty relative concept. Especially within congregations where there are multiple generations gathered I think we need to be very careful about encouraging this sort of judgement. Take something like dresses with spagetti straps- are they appropriate to wear to church or not? And if not does that mean someone who wears them to church thinks they are valuable only for her body?
Some related blog posts that expand on what I am trying to get at:
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/03/26/do-hard-things-but-not-that-hard-a-response-to-the-modesty-survey-and-the-rebelution/
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/20/let-men-learn-to-use-the-will-muscle-some-further-thoughts-on-faith-sin-sex-and-clothing/
*(you can read the whole thing here: www.achurchforstarvingartists.com/2009/10/liturgy-of-life.html)
**which I admit we all do - just doesn't mean that makes it a good thing.
We've lost sight of the fact that the liturgy our church teaches becomes the liturgy of our daily lives. For example, one of my parenting things (read: indoctrination) since my kids were small is this:
Me (when I'm out shopping with TBC and we see a young woman wearing a midriff and shorts that say HOT on the butt): TBC, what do you think that young woman thinks of herself?
TBC: She thinks she's only valuable because of her body.
This has been our little back and forth like clockwork since she was about 2. It's our shopping liturgy.A little later on she writes :
Now that TBC is grown, when she's asked why she doesn't wear certain clothes in certain places, she says "Because it gives the impression that she's only valuable for her body." It's not a rote thing. It's an ingrained thing that's become a part of her.
For some reason this comment really annoys me - and while I realize it might come across as a very different conversation in person I still feel uncomfortable about it.
I am not against teaching appropriate modest dressing to children - especially if one focuses more on the appropriate than the modest - but I am often unsure how to do it without reinforcing so much of the problems that we claim to be fighting against. It seems to me that while this liturgy may do something to encourage the authors daughter to avoid dressing like that - it also is teaching her that its ok to make assumptions about other people based on their clothing choices**. The author is working to fight against the pressures to encourage young girls to dress immodestly - but doing very little to undermine the idea that people only deserve request / dignity if they dress to meet our standards.
Why is that problematic? Well for one thing modesty is a pretty relative concept. Especially within congregations where there are multiple generations gathered I think we need to be very careful about encouraging this sort of judgement. Take something like dresses with spagetti straps- are they appropriate to wear to church or not? And if not does that mean someone who wears them to church thinks they are valuable only for her body?
Some related blog posts that expand on what I am trying to get at:
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/03/26/do-hard-things-but-not-that-hard-a-response-to-the-modesty-survey-and-the-rebelution/
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/07/20/let-men-learn-to-use-the-will-muscle-some-further-thoughts-on-faith-sin-sex-and-clothing/
*(you can read the whole thing here: www.achurchforstarvingartists.com/2009/10/liturgy-of-life.html)
**which I admit we all do - just doesn't mean that makes it a good thing.