The Night That Changed Everything 6

Apr 10, 2011 00:11

Thank you to anyone who has read my fic. this is my first ever attempt at writing something. I have read so many incredible fics and i had had an idea for a while but getting it onto paper is sseriously a different story.
So sorry for any misakes and please comment telling me what you think xxx



The silence in the room was deafening. The only sound was Sophie’s ragged breathing. She didn’t know what she was doing and Sian sensed that. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t scared. She knew Soph had a temper and had gotten into a fight once in collage but could she really be that blind not to have noticed how far Sophie had gone off the track.
She had seen Sophie’s fist coming towards her like it was in slow motion and she was almost certain that it was going to hit her.

She tentatively lowered her hands: still engulfed by Sophie’s presence in front of her. To say she was shocked would be an understatement but when she looked into her girlfriends eyes she could see everything she needed to know: confusion.
They stood like that for a time unknown until Sophie slowly raised her now bleeding hand and grazed Sian’s cheekbone softly with her thumb. Still not speaking she cupped both cheeks and lowered her forehead towards Sian’s.

Sian’s POV

“I’m so sorry”
I heard her whisper it was barely audible. Her eyes glistened with tears that slowly pushed each other out and thundered down her cheeks. This was the first real emotion I had seen for Sophie in months and although it wasn’t the ideal situation I was somewhat glad.
“I … I-don’t…..I’m lost Sian…” She was sobbing now with our forehead together. I didn’t know if I should touch her encase she lost her temper again so I stayed still, hoping she would finally open up to me how she was feeling.
“I don’t… I can’t recognise myself now. Im a stranger to my reflection. When I look in the mirror all I can see is a monster who’s destroying those around her and is left standing alone.”
“But you’re not alone…” She honestly wasn’t I was there for her as much as she could let me but I was starting to see how much everything had gotten to her. I was appalled at how much I had missed when it was clearly in front of me.
“If I don’t know myself anymore how the fuck can you stand there and tell me that you of all people know who I am?” She had backed up and was now pacing the room. She didn’t sound angry just a lost child looking for someone to comfort and take care of them. I was slightly shocked that she was swearing but with the drugs and alcohol in her system im pretty sure she had no control over her vocabulary.
“Babe, what do you mean me of all people? I know you Sophie and this person standing in front of me isn’t her. You’re my girlfriend, my best friend and my soul mate. You’re beautiful, funny, sarcastic, caring and a pain in the ass at times but I still love you. I just wish the girl I fell in love with would come back to me.” I needed to be open with her: to try and get through to her that I was going to be here for her.

Sophie’s POV

This girl is seriously amazing. I just almost hit her and now she’s saying how much she loved the old me. To be honest I can’t even remember the old me without her. She was my saviour then and I wished that she could be now but I knew I had to do that myself.
“I mean Sian that everything has been messed up inside of here” (tapping the side of her head) “for months and you’ve been oblivious to it. Im so tired of everything. My mum and dad arguing all the time, Rosie being... Well Rosie, I’m angry at my dad for forcing us out onto the streets then into this foreign home, im angry at him for not loving his family enough and having a child with another woman other than my mum, im angry at myself for getting kicked out of collage and meeting Alan, then starting drugs, I hate myself for what I am doing to my body and my mind but the thing I hate most about myself is what I am doing to you. Your beautiful Sian, you’re intelligent, you’re loving…. Yet you choose to stay with me when all I do is hurt you. Im not good for you Sian and I see that now. No one wants me around, no one cares so why do I bother trying to survive in this life when it’s pointless?”

Everything that had been clouding my mind for the past few months just clicked into place. I wasn’t confused anymore and to be brutally honest I couldn’t feel any emotion in the decision that had been concluded.

Sian’s POV

My angel was broken all along and alone. I didn’t even notice and to say I was speechless was an understatement. She spoke with such conviction like everything was making sense in her head finally. She kinda had this emotionless expression on her face. I slowly walked over to her and held her face in my hands gaining eye contact. I looked into the eyes of my soul mate and I could see nothing but numbness. She has stopped crying so much now but that didn’t stop my own tears from forming.
“Babe I want you here. I’ll always want you Sophie; you can’t leave me here on my own. Our love is something worth surviving for, I promise you I will help you get through everything with your parents and help you become yourself again. Please Sophie I am begging you not to do something stupid”

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Sian thought her Sophie was coming back to her: but finally opening up all of what she was feeling inevitable put everything into perspective. She felt so only had one decision and that’s what she was going to do.

She pulled away from Sian’s touch, grabbed the bag of pills and bolted out of the house into the night. To the place she hoped she would finally find peace; in herself and also the crumbling world around her

-sophie/sian, -fanfic

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