Suburban Cape Cod Blues (Part 2)
Master Post
Part 1
Jensen is going to kill Chris. He doesn’t need a best friend that bad. Hell, he’s a celebrity. He can hire one. Or do a reality show. Yeah, that sounds good. Twelve guys competing to be the awesomest best friend ever. None of them would ever grill the hot guy Jensen is trying to go out with. Solid plan.
Jared picked the restaurant. It only makes sense, since it’s his town and all. It’s a cozy, mom and pop looking place with charmingly mismatched tables and chairs and lots of inviting corners.
“Hey, Annie,” Jared greets the hostess. “Two?”
Annie’s eyes widen slightly when she sees who Jared’s with, but to her credit, she covers her surprise quickly, grabs two menus, and shows them to a table in a nook partially obscured by a large plant. Jared smiles at her gratefully. “Thanks,” he says, giving the word a little extra weight.
Once they’re seated, Jared rests his forearms on either side of his closed menu. He must come here a lot. Jensen flips his open, scanning it. “So,” he asks, “what’s good?”
“Everything,” Jared says.
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Thanks, that’s really helpful.”
Jared laughs. “Sorry, it’s totally true, though. What do you like?”
Jensen shrugs. “Anything.”
“Now who’s being unhelpful?”
“Burgers?”
“Oh, they do a great one here.”
Jensen takes Jared’s advice and orders a burger. Jared orders half the menu. Jensen stares. “Where are you gonna put all that?”
Jared turns a little pink and grins. “I’m a growing boy,” he says.
Jensen blinks. “I hope not. Jesus, aren’t you tall enough?”
Jared sticks his tongue out at Jensen, and who does that past the age of nine, but it’s maybe the most adorably dorky thing Jensen’s ever seen. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know what the appropriate response is, and they lapse into silence. He looks down, suddenly feeling awkward again.
“So, um, I’m really sorry about Chris,” he says because he’s been meaning to say that.
Jared shakes his head. “It’s cool, man. He must really care about you a lot.”
Jensen nods. “Yeah, I guess he does. I still plan to kill him slowly, though.”
There’s silence again, and Jensen tries desperately to think of something to say. God, if he’d known dating was this awkward, he would have kept not doing it. He’s got words. He knows he does. He seizes on the first topic that flits through his mind like it's a life preserver.
“So,” he starts. “You’re a professor?” And boy, that sounded less lame in his head, but it’s a start.
Jared nods. “Yeah. This is my third year.”
“What’s your subject?”
“English,” Jared answers, “with a concentration in Queer Lit and Victorian Lit.”
Shit. What does Jensen know about academia? He’s got a bachelor’s, sure, but he really didn’t spend a hell of a lot of time studying, and that was more than a decade ago. Mostly, he was working on his songwriting and booking gigs. All things considered, that was a good choice, but it leaves him with no idea what to say to someone who liked college enough they decided to stay forever.
“Oh. That’s-” He casts about. “That’s cool.”
Jared grins. “It’s okay. I know it’s kind of obscure and weird. I don’t expect normal people to know what I’m babbling about when I get off on one of my rambles. Which I do, and please feel free to shut me up if I get off on a tangent about the Brontes and sexual taboos or something.”
“Um, okay?” Jensen knows Jared said other stuff, but he’s kind of stuck on normal people. It’s been a really long time since someone called him normal. It’s kind of nice, actually.
“So,” Jared says. “You’re a musician?” He smirks at Jensen.
Jensen rolls his eyes back. “Yeah, something like that.”
“How’s that going for you?”
“Not bad, not bad. I’ve got a few albums out. Toured a couple of times. It pays the bills.”
Jared grins, then looks away again, seeming nervous. “So I feel bad saying this. I hope you’re not offended, but.” He pauses.
“But?” Jensen prompts.
“Um, I’ve never really listened to your music?” He winces like he’s waiting for a blow.
Jensen laughs. “Is that all? Dude, that’s more like a relief.”
“Really?” Jared says, looking hopeful.
“Promise. Anyway, this is Massachusetts. Not exactly the country music capital of the world.”
Jared bites his lip. “Well, I’m from Texas originally.”
Jensen can feel his face light up. “Really? What part?”
“San Antonio.”
Jensen nods. “That’s awesome. Dallas,” he says, gesturing to himself. “Or, well, Richardson, actually.”
“Well, what do you know?” Jared says. “We have something in common after all.”
Jensen grins at him. They trade Texas stories for a little while until the food arrives. For a little while after that, they’re occupied with eating, and the conversation lags again.
“So how long have you been in town?” Jared asks.
Jensen shrugs. “Since my agent shipped me up here to hide a couple of days after the story broke.”
“Wow, so you’ve been, what? Hiding in your apartment for two months?”
“Um, I guess,” Jensen says, feeling uncomfortable. He’s not really sure where Jared’s going with this.
Jared seems to pick up on it, though. His eyes widen. “Oh, shit, sorry. That was really-sorry. My brain to mouth filter is kind of non-existent.”
Jensen shakes his head, still kind of weirded out, but willing to let it go. “It’s okay.”
Jared nods, biting his lip and looking relieved.
Jensen jumps in before another excruciating silence can set in. “So, what do you like to do? You know, when you’re not teaching?”
Jared’s eyes light up. “Well, I’m the faculty advisor for Rainbow Alliance, the campus LGBT group. I think I said that the other night? Not that I expect you to remember all the stuff I said in Wal-Mart.”
“I remember,” Jensen says.
Jared grins and picks up the thread of conversation. “Honestly, they don’t need a whole lot of advising, but they’re great kids. Really active in the community. Mostly, they hit me up to get them stuff because a lot of them don’t have cars, and it’s hard to get anywhere off campus. The condoms really were for them, I swear. If you were wondering. Not that you were wondering about my prophylactic needs. Oh, god, I’m doing it again.” Jared stops, looking mortified, and Jensen just has to help him out.
“I was, actually,” he admits, “I mean, the jumbo variety pack?”
Jared laughs. “Yeah, that was for the activities fair. They give them out to promote safe sex. And maybe give the impression that the club is full of potentially slutty people? I’m not really sure. Mostly the safe sex thing.”
Jared pauses and takes a long sip of his drink, but Jensen doesn’t really have anything to contribute, so he just lets Jared keep going.
“Most of the time, though, there’s this group of faculty and staff I hang out with. We call ourselves Safe Zone. It’s people who are LGBT friendly. We have these stickers we put on our doors,” Jared runs a hand through his hair, “God, that sounds stupid, but it’s so any student who’s having sexual orientation issues. Questions, concerns, whatever. They know there’s someone they can talk to that won’t judge them.”
Jared pauses and laughs a little. “And, you know, when we’re not being model citizens, we hang out and drink. Kind of a lot.”
Jensen is taken aback. He leans against the back of his chair and stares for a moment. Jared is-well, he doesn’t quite know what Jared is, but he’s definitely never met anyone like him. And he’s not entirely sure Jared’s speaking English anymore.
“Wow,” he says, nodding slightly. “You’re, uh. You’re really into this gay thing, aren’t you?”
Jared blinks, looking stunned. “I’m sorry,” he says. “This gay thing?”
Jensen gets the feeling he has said something very wrong. “Um?”
“If you mean fighting for the civil rights of an oppressed minority of which I am a part and raising awareness of the needs of the community, then yes. I am really into this gay thing.”
Boy, Jensen always thought ‘dripping scorn’ was a slightly overblown metaphor, but Jared’s voice is definitely doing it now. Jensen’s kind of scared of him, floppy hair and dimples aside. He grabs his napkin and starts tearing strips off of it, carefully not looking at anything else.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean- sorry.”
Jared sighs. “It’s okay,” he says, but he doesn’t sound like he particularly means it, “I just figured you’d care more than anybody. I mean, with the pressure that heteronormative society puts on celebrities so you’re told you can’t be yourself and be successful. Right?”
“The what?” Jensen shakes his head. He is so lost and starting to be a little offended. He’s the one who chose this life, this career. He’s really lucky to be as successful as he is. He knows that. And staying that way takes sacrifice. That’s just the way it is. “Look, I don’t-I’m not.” The walls feel too close, and Jensen is suddenly too hot. “I’m not gay, okay?”
“Are you bi?”
“No! I’m-no.”
Jared stares at him hard, and he draws back at the scrutiny.
“So are you or are you not on a date with a man?”
“Yes?”
“Uh huh.” Jared nods. “And you’re attracted to men? Sexually?”
Jensen can feel his face heat up. “Yeah,” he answers, choking it out.
“What about women?”
Jensen feels like his throat is clogged, and he clenches his jaw hard. He just sits there for a long moment, staring at the table. Finally, he chances a glance up at Jared. Strangely enough, Jared’s not looking angry or accusing anymore, just openly curious. Jensen shakes his head slowly.
Jared nods like he’s figured something out. Jensen wishes he knew what it was.
“You wanna get out of here?” Jared asks, signaling for the check.
Jensen nods emphatically. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Jared pays, which is kind of chivalrous but also kind of ridiculous, considering Jensen could buy the restaurant if he wanted. He doesn’t protest, though.
On the way back to Jensen’s apartment, they make sporadic, innocuous small talk, nothing more controversial than the weather. When they pull up outside, Jared looks over at him.
“Walk you to your door?” he asks, sounding contrite and hopeful.
Jensen looks into those puppy eyes and can’t say no. Not that he even wants to. He’s confused as hell. He doesn’t have a lot of experience with dating, but even he knows tonight did not precisely go well. But there’s something about Jared he just can’t shake. He hopes it’s just the blinding hotness. Anything else is… disturbing.
“Yeah, okay,” Jensen says, and there go the dimples again.
They make their way up to the third floor and then stand and fidget awkwardly outside Jensen’s door.
“So,” Jensen says.
“So,” Jared answers.
“I, um.” Jensen rubs the back of his neck, trying to put words together. “This wasn’t really how I pictured this going.”
Jared chuckles a little. “Yeah, me either,” he says.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen tries. “About what I said. I just-I don’t talk about this stuff.”
“I’m getting that,” Jared says. “It’s okay.”
“Really? Or are you just saying that to be nice?”
“Really,” Jared says emphatically enough that Jensen believes him.
“Okay, then,” Jensen says, feeling relief wash over him. “Okay.”
He grins and then is utterly shocked when Jared leans in and kisses him. Of course, since he’s smiling, Jared mostly connects with his teeth, and that’s awkward, and the angle’s kind of weird, and it’s generally not quite right.
Jared pulls back, but Jensen follows, catching his lips before he gets more than an inch away. He’s not grinning anymore, and this time their lips slide together just perfectly. It’s soft and warm and slow. Jensen moans just a little and sways closer to Jared.
Jared makes a desperate little sound and drags Jensen in by the hips. Jensen abandons all caution and reaches up to tangle his fingers in Jared’s ridiculous, wonderful hair, and now they’re making out in earnest with tongues and the good kind of teeth and bodies pressed together.
This is good. This Jensen understands. Physical need and bodies melting together. No more talking about things that make him deeply uncomfortable. It’s not long before making out is moving towards something heavier that doesn’t belong in a public hallway. Jensen makes himself pull back.
“Do you want to come inside? I’ll kick Chris out.”
Jared blinks at him uncomprehendingly for a moment. Then he shakes his head, seeming to come back to himself.
“I’d better not,” he says.
“Oh,” Jensen says, a sharp stab of disappointment stabbing through him. “I thought-”
Jared shakes his head. “Oh, no! I mean, yes. I mean-” He runs a hand roughly through his hair. “I mean, what you were thinking is what you should have been thinking. I just. Don’t usually do this.”
Jensen is confused. “Do what?” he asks.
“Um.” Jared glances away, cheeks pink. “This. I mean, on a first date.”
“What, kissing?”
“Well, kissing like that. Yeah.”
Jensen processes this. Apparently, Jared is a nice boy who takes things slow. “Oh,” he says. “Well, okay. Have a good night, then?”
Jared smiles gratefully at him. “Thanks, yeah. You too. Can I-I was hoping we could do this again sometime.”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Jensen says, and he thinks he really would. Not just for the prospect of getting laid, either, which is strange and new.
“Okay, good. Great.”
Jared leans in and kisses him one more time, and it is just plain unfair the way he drags at Jensen’s lower lip with his teeth as he pulls back. It goes straight to Jensen's cock, and he already knows he’s not getting any. It is so not his fault if a tiny whimper escapes him at that point.
Jared’s grinning at him like he knows what he did. “Night, Jensen,” he says.
Jensen just can’t help grinning back, evil cocktease or not. “Night, Jared.”
~*~
“How was your date?” Chris asks as Jensen walks in the door.
“Where’s the whiskey?” he answers.
“That bad, huh?”
Jensen takes a breath, then another one. “I think I’m gay,” he says, and boy, that was not what he was expecting to come out of his mouth.
Chris stares at him for a long moment, then throws his head back and hollers, “Praise Jesus! The boy can be taught!”
Jensen glares. It’s not like he didn’t think-he knew he liked guys. That part is easy. Cock does it for him, tits don’t. But gay, that’s something else. That’s limp wrists and glitter and techno and drag queens and something country singers and good ‘ol boys from Texas never ever are. So Jensen isn’t that-couldn’t be that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it-for other people-it’s just not him.
Except Jared didn’t talk about any of that. Jared just asked him if he liked guys. He does, and that seemed to answer the question for Jared. So if that’s all there is to being gay, then Jensen is, and that makes him feel kind of lightheaded and terrified. It must show on his face because Chris is suddenly looking concerned.
“Whoa, hey. I know it’s a big revelation. Sit down, sugar. I’ll find the liquor.”
Jensen collapses on the couch, marveling at how Chris can’t quit the stupid pet names even in times of crisis. An impressively full glass of Jack appears under his nose. He takes it and swallows down about half, relishing the harsh burn. It clears his head, and he feels better almost immediately.
“Now tell Uncle Chris. Does he make you feel funny in your special place?”
“I hate you.”
“Liar,” Chris tosses back. “But seriously. I have been trying to tell you you’re gay for years. You come back from one date with the professor, and suddenly you’re ready to march in the pride parade?”
“Hey, that’s not what I said.”
“What did he say to you?”
Jensen stares into his glass. “He asked if guys turned me on.”
“That’s it?” Chris sounds incredulous.
“Yeah?”
Chris slaps his forehead hard. “I give up,” he mutters.
“What?”
“Obviously, Jared has some magic gay pixie dust or something.”
“Don’t talk about him like that.”
“Sorry, sorry, you’re right. I’m really glad you finally came to terms with this. Doesn’t matter why.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem, man,” Chris says, perking up again instantly. “Let’s call Steve!”
“What? Why?”
“Trust me. He’s gonna want to hear about this.”
~*~
Jensen wakes up with his head buried in Chris’ lap. Chris’ lap is still fully clothed, and that’s a plus. After all, they only hooked up the once, drunk at the frat party where they met. Of course, they’d been pretty drunk last night.
He tries to sift through his memories. Lots of shots. He definitely remembers that. After a strangely awkward conversation with Steve. Steve is-well, they fuck sometimes. Used to do it a lot more back in college and a few years afterwards, but they still do sometimes. Friends with benefits would be the term, Jensen guesses.
He always had a sense there was something a little sideways about their relationship, but he never stopped to examine it. Jensen always figured as long as everybody was having fun, why question it? But the way Steve had sounded almost pained when he told Jensen he was happy for him makes him think maybe he should have.
Then they hung up, and Chris awkwardly avoided his eyes for a minute before declaring that shots were in order. Jensen’s always been good at denial, and he had more than enough revelations for one night, so he didn’t ask. And then the guitars came out, and they did something that seemed brilliant at the time, if only Jensen could remember.
Jensen doesn’t know how he’s managing to form all these thoughts with his brain making a valiant attempt to escape his skull. Jesus fuck, but he should know better than to let Chris be in charge of the liquor after all these years. It just never ends well.
The pounding in his head is impressive enough that he hasn’t managed to move his head yet. He tries to lift it a couple of times, thinking about coffee and aspirin, but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually move. He starts to feel a little more conscious and that’s when a disconnected memory surfaces, his voice blending with Chris’ drunkenly.
You can get anything at Wal-Mart.
This time he moves for real, levering himself upright with far too much effort. “Fuck, Chris.” He shakes his friend’s shoulder, and Chris groans but doesn’t open his eyes. Jensen shakes him harder. “Chris. Wake up, goddammit!”
“What?” Chris moans, sounding pained. “Can’t it wait?”
“No!”
“What the fuck is it, Jen?”
“We ripped off Dylan!”
Chris’ eyes snap open. “Fuck.”
~*~
"Babylon Bowling, people! Let's go!" Chad crows as they walk across the parking lot. "Who's got the poppers?"
Jared shakes his head in despair. "Chad, we are not characters on Queer As Folk, and the bowling alley is not a gay club. No matter how much you wish it was."
Chad is unfazed. "Then what's with the techno and the black lights, huh?"
"Maybe they're tragically unaware of the culture they're emulating," Misha suggests from Jared's other side.
Chad turns pink and clams up. If Jared were a worse friend, he might enjoy the way Misha's presence can turn Chad mute. Of course, Jared is the best best friend in the world and does not take pleasure in his friend's pain.
Danneel cuts in. "Hey, they bowled on Queer as Folk,"
"Yeah, but none of these losers is Brian Kinney, no matter how hard they try. Let's bowl, bitches!" Sophia says, ending the discussion as they walk through the doors and into the bowling alley that really kind of does resemble a gay dance club.
The music is deafening, and the place is lit up with black lights and multi-colored neon. They shout their shoe sizes at the girl behind the counter and grab a couple of pitchers of beer.
Once they claim a lane, they split up into teams of three, Sam, Danneel, and Sophia against Jared, Chad, and Misha. While Chad is making a ten minute production out of his turn, Jared wanders over and plunks himself down in the empty seat next to Sophia.
“I think I might be an asshole,” he says. He has to almost shout to be heard over the music.
Sophia laughs. “You? Mr. Puppy Dog Eyes and do-you-need-a-hug?”
“I was kind of mean to Jensen,” he says, shrugging.
“Why?”
“I was telling him about the group and what we do and stuff, and he seemed really weirded out. I maybe went into PSA mode.”
“Oh, honey, on a date?” Sophia looks sympathetic but also a little disbelieving.
“Yeah. And then he said he wasn’t gay.”
“He what?”
“I know! But not like-I don’t know. I think he’s got more issues than I thought.”
“You know you don’t know him just because you read about him in Star, right?”
Jared’s really grateful for the lighting that obscures his blush. He thought he was better than that, but Sophia’s right. He’s been making assumptions about Jensen based on tabloid stories, and he should know better.
“God, you’re right,” he says. “I mean, what do I really know about Jensen Ackles?”
As he reaches the end of his sentence, the music suddenly cuts out. Just as Chad is walking by, of course.
If you are the owner of a purple Prius, license plate CNK 80Q3, your lights are on, comes over the loud speaker while Chad stops and stares at Jared.
“Dude, I’m getting concerned about your delusion,” Chad says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I can get you an appointment to talk to Dr. Gamble. She specializes in abnormal psychology.”
“Fuck you, man. I’m not delusional, okay?”
Chad nods sympathetically. “I know you think that. Just remember there’s help for you when you’re ready.”
Sophia swats at him. “Why don’t you go roll your balls, douchebag? Leave him alone.”
Chad scoots away at the dangerous glint in her eyes. “Fine, fine. The offer’s open, buddy!”
Jared leans sideways and rests his head on Sophia’s shoulder. “He’s my best friend, but sometimes I want to kill him,” he says while she pats his head.
“That just shows you’re still sane,” she says, pushing him upright. “Now grab a ball, sweetie. It’s your turn!”
Jared sometimes thinks Sophia only comes to bowling night for all the ball jokes.
~*~
Jared stares at his phone. It’s easy, he tells himself, he just has to push send. No big deal. He does it every day.
Jensen’s number stares him down from the tiny LCD screen. He throws the phone down on the couch and paces the living room, debating the merits of pulling his hair out.
Everyone says his hair is one of his best features. Probably a bad plan. He snatches the phone back up and hits the button before he can chicken out again.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Jensen?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s Jared.”
“Yeah, hi, um. Caller ID.”
“Oh, right, yeah, of course.”
Silence crackles over the line, and Jared claws for the words that usually come so easily to him. If there’s one thing Jared can do, it’s talk, but now his brain is a terrifying white space.
He grabs the first thing he can think of. “I’m sorry I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not,” Jensen answers, sounding bewildered.
It wasn’t what he meant to say, but Jared thinks maybe it was what he needed to say. “I kind of was. I barely know you, and there I go lecturing you about gay rights and whatever, and-I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Jensen says. “I mean, yeah, it was a little-” He trails off. “But maybe I needed to hear it.”
“Well, I still feel like a jerk. Could I maybe make it up to you? Take you out again and try to sound less like a PSA?”
“Oh,” Jensen says. Jared bites his lip while he waits for Jensen’s answer. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Awesome,” Jared says, trying to sound cool and together and not at all like he’s smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. “Is tomorrow good for you? Sorry. Is Monday a weird night for a date?”
Jensen laughs a little. “No, tomorrow’s good. I don’t really have much of a schedule.”
“Oh, right, of course. That’s me, with the school and the classes and stuff. I forget everybody doesn’t live on a school schedule.”
“Yeah, so. Tomorrow, then?”
“Pick you up at seven?”
“Sure.”
“Is Chris gonna be scary again?”
“Nah, I think you passed the test.”
“Wow, okay, that’s. Good, yeah.”
“Right, well. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, see you then. Um, bye.”
“Bye.”
Jared pulls the phone away from his ear and ends the call, wondering when exactly he became a thirteen-year-old girl.
~*~
Sometimes, being devious is acceptable if it’s for a friend’s own good. At least, that’s what Jared keeps telling himself.
“Let’s eat outside,” he suggests. “I found this really cute courtyard over by the art building the other day.”
Chad shakes his head. “Man, I don’t know how you keep finding new places on this tiny campus.”
Jared shrugs, “It’s a gift. Come on, let’s go!”
Chad grins at him. “All right, all right.”
“So you should really ask Misha out already.”
“Dude, would you give it a rest?”
“Well he’s pretty hot. Don’t wait forever, or somebody else who actually has some balls is going to snap him up.”
Chad glares at him and doesn’t answer.
They’re almost there now, and Jared squelches the guilt. It’s for Chad’s own good, he reminds himself. So when they just happen to be passing by the law school as Misha is walking out the door, he feigns surprise.
“Oh, hey, look who it is! What’s up, Misha?”
Misha smiles and walks over to them. “Hi guys. Lunch time?”
“Yeah,” Jared says. He glances over, and sure enough, Chad’s gone all pink and silent again. “Oh, hey, that’s right! Chad was telling me he had something to ask you, right, buddy?”
He turns to Chad and finds his best friend eyeing him with dawning horror. He shakes his head, but Jared knows that he can have no mercy if he wants Chad to get laid and maybe discover the joys of a committed relationship that lasts more than a week.
“No, you did, remember that thing? That you were telling me. The one you needed to ask Misha?” He gives Chad a little shove forward and hopes he’s the baby bird that flies and not the one that goes splat on the ground.
He makes a mental note that hanging out with Chad is affecting his taste in metaphors, then gives his full attention to the events in front of him. Chad is standing in front of Misha, possibly frozen, definitely silent.
“Um,” Misha says, smiling but starting to look confused. “What did you need to ask me?”
“I-uh-I-”
Jared is about to step in, make something up on the spot and rescue him when Chad finally rediscovers English.
“Wangodinnerwme?”
Well, sort of.
“I’m sorry, what?” Misha says.
Chad coughs and sucks in a breath. “Do you want to go to dinner with me? Sometime?”
Misha blinks. “I thought you were straight.”
“No,” Chad says. “Why would you think that?”
“Sophia?”
Jared winces as he watches Chad’s shoulders tense. He knows what’s coming, and it’s not going to be pretty.
“So just because I dated a girl once means I couldn’t possibly be interested in men too?”
Misha looks a little scared, and Jared thinks that shows good judgment. “Well, no, but it’s a good indicator?”
“Sexual orientation isn’t a binary, you know. It’s a spectrum. It’s shortsighted and naïve to assume that most people, much less all people, prefer one gender exclusively. Just because I don’t fit into a neatly labeled box doesn’t mean I don’t exist. Yeah, I like cock and pussy. Deal with it.”
Misha blinks and stares. “Um,” he finally says. “Sorry?”
Chad’s all smiles again. “No problem, man. I’m used to it.”
“Right. Wow.”
“So, uh.” Chad suddenly looks nervous again. “Was that a yes or a no to dinner?”
Misha grins at him. “Yes, definitely.”
Jared has entered the Twilight Zone. It’s the only explanation. Or, possibly, Misha is actually crazy enough that he’s perfect for Chad, and they’ll get married and adopt African babies together.
~*~
They’re about twenty minutes outside of town, the late afternoon sun behind them, when Jensen speaks up. “So are you driving me out to the middle of nowhere to kill me?”
Jared laughs. “Damn, you caught me.”
“Seriously, though. Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. It’s a surprise!”
“I hate surprises,” Jensen grumbles, but when Jared glances over at the passenger seat, there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lip.
They lapse back into silence just as a Taylor Swift song starts playing on the radio.
After a minute, Jensen says, “God, she is so overrated.” It’s almost under his breath, like he didn’t intend Jared to hear.
“I thought you’d like it,” he says. “I usually don’t listen to country. There’s CDs in the console if you want to change it.”
“Oh, please, Taylor is not country. Nice girl, decent songwriter, but not country.”
Jared slants a look at him. “She’s on your label.”
“Yep.” The single syllable sounds loaded, and Jared waits to see if Jensen will continue. After a minute or so, he does. “I’m-I’m not really making the kind of music I want to be making.”
“Why not?”
Jensen laughs, but not like anything’s funny. “Jared, the music business-it’s like a big game. It’s all about record sales and cross-promotions and radio play. The label knows what sells, or they think they do, and that’s what they want me to make. They’re the ones with the money, so they call the shots.”
“Um, sorry if this is, like, inappropriate to mention or something, but don’t you have enough money to make your own album and tell the label to get lost?”
“It’s not that easy!”
“Why not?”
Jensen splutters. “Well, there are contracts and things and distribution channels and radio connections and-important stuff, okay?”
Jared shrugs. “Sure. I mean, I don’t know anything about the music business. I just thought-isn’t that the point?”
“The point of what?”
“Of being ridiculously rich and famous. Isn’t there a point where you just get to do what you want without worrying what anybody else thinks?”
Jensen lets out a long sigh. “If there is, I’m not there yet.”
Jared bites his lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-it’s none of my business. God, I am no fun! Let’s talk about something else. What do you want to talk about?”
Jensen grins at him and shrugs. “I don’t know. How was your day? How was class? You had class, right?”
Jared grabs the topic and runs with it. He spends the rest of the drive making Jensen laugh with stories about the most ridiculous excuses students have given him for not having their assignments done.
They get to Barnstable, and Jared heads straight through the tiny town to the waterfront. He pulls up in front of their destination and turns to Jensen. “Welcome to the Sandy Neck Light. What do you think?”
Jensen tilts his head to the side. “A lighthouse?”
“Yep! Come on, let’s go up!”
Jensen shoots him a look as they climb out of the car. “Climbing stairs is your idea of a good date activity?”
“Aw, you look like you’re in okay shape,” he teases. He starts walking backwards away from the car, gesturing for Jensen to follow. “Come on, you know you think it’s cool.”
Jensen smiles fondly at him. “It’s pretty much the dorkiest thing ever.”
“You love it.”
Jared has only been to the lighthouse once before, when he first moved to Massachusetts. It's one of those things that's really cool to show visitors, but locals tend to forget about. He keeps turning to look back at Jensen following him up the winding staircase. Jensen is grinning and flushed with exertion, his eyes glinting in the half-light.
"Come on, we're almost there!" Jared says as he jogs up the last few steps. He turns on the landing and holds his hand out. Jensen reaches up and takes it, and Jared feels a rush of warmth at the contact. He tugs Jensen forward with just a little too much force, pulling him right up against Jared's chest.
He tilts his head down, feeling giddy and nervous when Jensen doesn't pull back right away. They stay like that, pressed close and staring for a long moment. Jared's sure Jensen can feel the way he's breathing faster, and it's not from climbing the stairs. Reluctantly, he pulls back. "You've got to see this view," he says, pushing the door open.
They step out onto the landing, and Jared hears Jensen’s indrawn breath beside him. “Pretty awesome, huh?” he asks, sliding a glance at Jensen, wide-eyed beside him.
Jensen nods. “Yeah, wow, that’s-wow.”
The bay stretches out below them, little clapboard houses on stilts above the beaches curving away on either side. The setting sun shines red and gold behind them, reflecting on the water.
Jared takes a chance and wraps his arms around Jensen from behind, resting his head on his shoulder. Jensen relaxes against him and tilts his head back.
“Beautiful,” Jared says, and he’s not looking at the bay anymore.
Their lips meet softly, and they explore each others’ mouths. Jensen turns in his arms to get a better angle. Jared thinks maybe he’s never felt anything better than this-Jensen warm and pliant against him, licking against his lips, while the salty bay breeze blows gently around them.
They kiss for a long while. When they pull back to catch their breath, there’s a minute or two where Jensen lays his head on Jared’s shoulder and lets Jared just hold him. Eventually, Jensen pulls back. Jared doesn’t think he’s imagining the reluctance on his face.
“We should probably go down,” Jensen says.
Jared nods. “Yeah.”
Jensen reaches up and kisses him once more before taking his hand and pulling him back through the door to the stairs. They make their way back down, quicker than going up.
“Do you want to walk on the beach?” Jared asks when they emerge into the purple dusk.
Jensen nods and follows him over to the rickety wooden steps that lead down to the sand. They take their shoes off and roll their pants up to keep the sand off, then head straight down through the soft, dry sand, sinking in up to their ankles and laughing at each other for their clumsy attempts at walking.
When they make it down to the firmer sand close to the water, Jensen takes Jared’s hand. They amble along, the occasional ambitious wave making it far enough to tickle their feet.
When a particularly big one races up the sand, Jared kicks out with his foot, splashing Jensen’s lower legs, and grins mischievously.
Jensen gets a look in his eye that makes Jared take off down the beach, laughing and looking back over his shoulder, watching Jensen catch up to him. If Jared’s honest, he wasn’t trying very hard to get away.
Jared turns, still running, as Jensen reaches out and catches him around the waist. Their momentum carries them down to the sand. It knocks the wind out of Jared, landing on the hard sand with Jensen on top of him.
“Shit, are you okay?” Jensen asks.
Jared laughs. “Yeah. Making a habit of this, aren’t we?”
“Seem to be,” Jensen says, grinning down at him.
Jared feels Jensen tense against him at almost the same moment that he realizes how close they are. He draws in a breath, and then Jensen’s kissing him. It’s nothing like the slow, gentle kisses they were sharing earlier. This is hot and dirty and suggests Jensen would rather be doing something else entirely.
Jared moans into his mouth and arches up under him. Jensen is bracing himself with his forearms on either side of Jared’s face. Their bodies are pressed together from chest to thigh, and his cock is already half-hard.
When he realizes he’s shifting his hips, searching for friction, Jared pulls back, panting and all too aware that outside in front of God and everybody is not the place for this.
“Do you want-? I have a house,” he offers awkwardly, all too aware of all the places Jensen is pressed into him.
Jensen nods, lips parted slightly. “Yeah, I want,” he says, his voice low and rough.
Jared makes the hour drive back to town in forty minutes. As soon as they’re inside, Jensen pushes Jared up against the door, fisting his hands in the material of Jared's shirt and kissing him deep and dirty.
Jared moans into his mouth, head spinning at the feeling of Jensen’s lips, teeth and tongue devouring him. Jensen’s hands roam over his chest, creeping up under the hem of his shirt to explore bare skin. Jared yanks his shirt over his head and tugs Jensen hard against him, one hand spanning the small of his back, the other carding through his short hair.
Jensen rolls his hips against Jared, and Jared can feel his hard-on through his jeans. He makes a frustrated little noise and drags Jared away from the wall. “Bedroom?” he asks.
Jared pulls him in the right direction, touching everywhere he can reach, greedy for the feel of Jensen under his hands. They lose the rest of their damp, sandy clothes beside the bed, and Jensen stares at him for a moment.
“Fuckin’ gorgeous, you know that?” he practically growls.
Jared huffs a nervous little laugh, his brain almost checked out and electricity zinging across his skin. “Not so bad yourself,” he manages, hoping Jensen understands he means so beautiful I can’t even form words to describe it.
Then he stops thinking entirely because Jensen’s dragging him down to the bed, kissing him and biting at his jaw, twining their legs together.
“What do you-” Jared doesn’t have enough blood left in his brain to form a whole question.
Fortunately, Jensen knows what he’s trying to ask. He frames Jared’s jaw with one hand and looks him in the eye. “Fuck me,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument or uncertainty.
Jared nods and fumbles in the bedside table drawer for lube and a condom. He sets them on the mattress next to them and lays himself over Jensen, kissing him again.
Jensen spreads his legs to give Jared access and arches up under him. He grabs Jared’s ass and pulls him forward insistently, rutting against his hip. Jared drags himself away from Jensen’s lips and kisses along his jaw and down his neck, then sits back on his heels and slicks his fingers.
He circles Jensen’s hole with one finger, then pushes inside. Jensen’s hips jerk, and he sucks in a breath.
“Okay?” Jared asks.
Jensen nods. “Keep going.”
Jared adds another finger, stretching him out and opening him up. There’s tension running up Jensen’s legs and across his stomach. His mouth is half open, and he’s panting out shallow little breaths. Jared strokes down his side, making comforting little noises.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers.
Jensen’s cock is straining, full and red, against his stomach. Jared can’t resist ducking his head down and swiping his tongue across the tip, making Jensen let out a high pitched, keening cry. Jared flicks his eyes up to see Jensen’s got his hands fisted in the sheets. He licks his lips and takes Jensen in his mouth as far as he can, then licks and sucks while he pushes inside with three fingers, stretching Jensen out.
Jensen tosses his head back and forth, moaning and mumbling out little half words that go straight to Jared’s cock. He pushes eagerly against Jared’s fingers, and after another moment, he’s got a hand in Jared’s hair, pulling him back.
“Need it,” he pants out. “Please.”
Jared swallows hard and nods. Sitting back on his heels, he rolls the condom on and grips the base of his cock as he covers himself in lube. He moves Jensen’s knees further up and apart and kneels between them, meeting Jensen’s eyes as he pushes inside slowly, giving him time to adjust.
“Oh my god, baby, so hot, so tight, feel so amazing,” Jared says, unable to stop the flow of words. If he had a brain cell left with blood in it, he might be embarrassed that he sounds like bad porn dialogue, but as it is, all he can think of is Jensen underneath him and around him.
Once he’s finally all the way inside, he stills for a moment. He kisses Jensen, hot and open-mouthed, less a kiss than a sharing of breath, then Jensen’s rolling his hips up underneath him.
“Come on, Jay. Move for me,” he says, and Jared’s not about to refuse an order like that.
Jared sets a rhythm, slow at first and then faster as Jensen meets him thrust for thrust, arching and moaning under him. He’s so close now, and he buries his head against Jensen’s shoulder, his hips stuttering as he gets close to the edge.
He feels Jensen slide a hand between them and jack himself, hard and fast. Jensen's hips come up off the bed as he comes, spurting hot and messy all over both of them, and Jared’s done. Jensen’s muscles clench and spasm around him, and he’s coming, filling up the condom.
He collapses on top of Jensen, and they both lie there for a long minute, breathing hard. Jensen’s legs slide down on either side of him, the tension running out of him as Jared softens inside him. After a while, Jensen shoves at his shoulder.
“Fuckin’ heavy,” he mumbles, sounding sleepy.
Jared pulls out carefully, tying off the condom and throwing it away. He gathers Jensen close against his chest and pulls the covers up over both of them.
Jensen makes a little protesting noise. “Should clean up,” he says.
Jared chuckles, feeling warm and satisfied. “Later,” he counters.
“Mmm, okay,” Jensen says, nodding against his neck. His breathing evens out, and he’s asleep in moments.
Jared drops a soft kiss on his temple, feeling a fierce surge of happiness just before unconsciousness claims him.
~*~
Jensen wakes up hot and sticky and wrapped up in Jared. The inside of his eyelids is red, leading him to conclude that it’s morning and he spent all night in Jared’s bed. Shit. He didn’t mean to do that. He was going to get up, shower, and go home. Instead, Jared snuggled up to him, and Jensen was so fucked out and comfortable and contented that he passed out, held close against Jared’s chest by his tree trunk arms.
Now there’s sweat at the bend of his elbows and the crease of this thighs, and his skin is itching with dried come. His eyes feel dry and gritty from sleeping in his contacts, and it’s generally disgusting. He tries to pull away gently to avoid waking Jared, but Jared just makes a whuffling sound and tightens his hold.
“Jared,” he says, softly at first, placing a palm flat against Jared’s chest. No answer. “Jared,” he tries again, louder, more insistent.
“Mmf, wha?” Jared says, sleepy and incoherent, cracking one eye open.
“Shower,” Jensen says.
Jared lets his head drop back to the pillow. “Too early, more sleep.”
Jensen shakes his head, resolutely refusing to find the whole thing adorable. “Don’t you have class or something?”
Jared shakes his head, burrowing deeper into the pillow. “Not ‘til two on Tuesdays.”
Of course. “Jared, I’m disgusting. Let me go so I can shower.”
Jared finally opens both eyes and observes Jensen with earnest, puffy eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he declares, but he finally releases his death grip on Jensen.
Jensen shakes his head. “I seriously doubt that right now,” he says, sliding off the bed.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, baby,” Jared calls after him as he crosses the floor to the open bathroom door. He stills at the easy use of the endearment. Jensen’s never been anybody’s baby. It sends uneasy little sparks of pleasure shooting along between his shoulder blades and up the back of his neck. He does the only thing he can think to do and keeps walking.
He’s been standing under the blessedly hot water for less than a minute when Jared steps in behind him and wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, drawing him backwards against the length of him.
“Morning,” he says, kissing the side of Jensen’s neck.
Jensen just does not know what to do with this. He’s never spent the night after fucking somebody. Is this what people do? Or is this just Jared? He briefly considers freaking out and pulling back and running away, but he doesn’t really want to do any of those things. He wants to relax back into Jared’s warmth and accept the closeness and affection Jared doesn’t have any reservations about showing him.
And maybe, just maybe, in this tiny Massachusetts town where no one cares that you can’t be gay and a country star, in a completely different dimension from his multi-million dollar music career, maybe here, he can have what he wants. It could be that simple, Jensen thinks. And he decides, right then, that it will be. He turns in Jared’s arms, twines his arms around his neck, and kisses him. Jared tastes like morning breath and tap water, and he smiles against Jensen’s lips.
Jensen pulls back and smiles up at him. “Morning.”
Part 3
Master Post