Rêver de la Fin
ʚ Title: Rêver de la Fin for coffeeromances ♡
ʚ Pairing(s): Kyungsoo/Chanyeol, broken!Kyungsoo/Jongin
ʚ Rating: PG-13
ʚ Warnings: Character death
ʚ Word Count: 8420
ʚ Summary: It’s a spring blooming day when Kyungsoo meets Park Chanyeol.
ʚ Message for your recipient/author note: I want to thank T for helping me through this and giving me endless support. I also want to apologize if I did stray too much from the original prompt. The ending’s a little rushed but I really hope you like it. Happy readings :)
“We have to break up. I’m so sorry Kyungsoo. I just-I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. I found someone else and… I think you should too.”
Kyungsoo scoffed at his thoughts, tears welling up in his eyes as he threw the shot of alcohol down his throat, making a face at the burning sensation he felt. It was equal to his heart. Scorching with anger and hurt and sadness. How could Jongin do this to him? Was he not good enough? Did he not matter anymore? Was he just a fling? Was he anything to Jongin in the first place?
“Heh, obviously not Kyungsoo since he dumped your ass,” Kyungsoo chuckled humorlessly to himself. “You never mattered at him and he never cared about you. So just get over it. Get over it.”
It happened that evening.
Kyungsoo had just gotten home from his job at the café and was beyond tired since Friday’s were usually one of the busiest days of the week. He couldn’t wait to get back to his small apartment and give Jongin a huge kiss on the lips and then snuggle with him until he fell into a peaceful slumber. Little did he know, today would be the last time they’d ever be together. There was no going back after today.
The house was completely dark and Kyungsoo almost didn’t see him, that is, until he noticed an outline of a person sitting on the couch from the streetlights shining through the window, giving Jongin an almost ethereal look. Kyungsoo felt himself falling in love all over again.
He was getting ready to switch on the lights so he could see that oh so handsome face until Jongin abruptly said, “No. Keep the lights off.”
“Okay…” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows in confusion.
“Can you come sit next to me?” Jongin asked, a hint of something Kyungsoo couldn’t decipher in his voice. He told his mind to ignore it as he went and sat down, making sure not to knock anything over in the process.
Kyungsoo let out a deep, happy sigh. The couch was so comfortable. Actually, anything would be comfortable to him right about now; he was that exhausted. It seemed he’d been on his feet all day. It was nice to finally have a break.
Kyungsoo turned his head to glance at his boyfriend before leaning back and closing his eyes blissfully. “Are you okay? Is there a reason why we’re sitting in the dark?”
Jongin didn’t answer for a while. Kyungsoo didn’t mind though. He rather enjoyed the silence.
“Kyungsoo, why do you like me?” Jongin suddenly asked, erupting a laugh from Kyungsoo who still had his eyes closed and failed to see the troubled expression on Jongin’s face.
“What kind of question is that? You’re perfect,” Kyungsoo answered confidently, though there was a hint of teasing in his tone.
Jongin heaved out a breath, and seeming to collect his thoughts, stood from the couch. Kyungsoo looked up at him. What exactly was going on?
“We have to… talk Kyungsoo. About us.”
Kyungsoo could feel himself drift away for a second. This conversation could either go two ways. Which one was it?
Before he could even open his mouth, Jongin continued.
“We have to break up. I’m so sorry Kyungsoo. I just-I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. I found someone else and… I think you should too…” Kyungsoo couldn’t hear anything after that except the extreme pounding of his heart in his ears. He’s sure he looked blank as ever as he sensed so many emotions were fighting their way to his face. Anger, sadness, pain. Anything that describes… heartbreak. That’s how he felt.
“Why…” Kyungsoo squeaked out, tilting his head up to get one more look at Jongin’s beautiful face before the boy walked out of his life forever only to find that he’s sitting in his living room… alone. There was no one in sight and it was completely silent, forcing him to hear his thoughts at maximum volume. How long had he spaced out?
No, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
Kyungsoo found his keys and let his feet take him wherever they desired.
“I’d like another drink please,” Kyungsoo slurred to the bartender in an unattractive way, pointing his finger lazily in a circular motion with a slight smirk.
The bartender rolled his eyes but nonetheless asked the customer what he wanted.
“Your strongest drink.”
“Coming right up.” He turned away to make the order, leaving Kyungsoo once again with his own thoughts as his only company. Sure, he was in a room full of drunk, horny college students but he couldn’t have felt more alone than he did in that moment.
--
Kyungsoo didn’t want to get out of bed the next morning, didn’t want to do anything the next morning-or for the rest of his life. He had no idea how he even got back to his house whatsoever and the killer headache pounding on the left side of his head wasn’t making things any better. Why couldn’t everything just… stop?
“Ruff, ruff!” He heard his dog bark from outside his bedroom door. Rolling over and throwing the covers off to the side, Kyungsoo could see he was still fully clothed in what he’d been wearing the previous day. It was then he decided he’d throw them out once he got dressed. They brought back horrible memories. They brought back the time when it felt like his heart and soul had literally crushed into a million tiny pieces. Get ahold of yourself. Come back to reality for once. Jongin was merely a dream you needed to wake up from anyway.
Taking a deep sigh of resolve, Kyungsoo relented and got out of bed. He wanted-no needed-to get over it. It was time to move on, just as Jongin had so painfully announced not even twenty-four hours before.
“Okay, okay. I’m coming,” Kyungsoo said, a small yawn escaping his tired lips. He felt exhausted and everything on him hurt. He didn’t want to occupy the reasons why though. Opening his bedroom door, a ball of gold immediately flew through, nearly knocking him over in the process. He could hear the dog sniffing around his bed, eventually coming over to smell him, obviously catching the scent of unfamiliar people lingering on his clothes and skin. Kyungsoo kneeled down and ruffled the dogs fur. From this point on, Kingsley was his only companion. The only thing that could keep him going and from driving himself insane out of self misery.
“I know you wanna go outside. Just a few more minutes okay?” Kyungsoo gave Kingsley a gentle kiss on the head, taking a moment to relax on his soft fur. He could do this. It’s going to be okay.
A few moments later, he stood and walked over to his closet, finding something cozy and comfortable to wear. It was in the beginning stages of spring but there was still drops of winter in the biting wind they’d been receiving lately. Heading to the bathroom, Kyungsoo turned on the shower, making sure the water was scorching hot-just how he liked it-and after quickly undressing, hopped in, giving a soft moan of pleasure. The water rushing over his naked body helped loosen his tense, aching muscles and soothe his head a bit. He took his time, washing his body and hair thoroughly, not stepping out until the water began getting cold. When he was done drying off, he took a second to look in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes, more prominent now than ever from lack of sleep due to the abundant amount of college work that had to be done being a double major and on top of that, working nearly five hours at the local café most of the week to bring in extra cash so he can have food on the plate every night. It was difficult but he had Jongin that helped make it seem like he didn’t always have a burden on his shoulders. Now, he didn’t have the boy to ease his worries, to make him feel like everything was going to be just fine.
Kyungsoo abruptly swiped his hand across the steam filled mirror causing his reflection to look disoriented and weird. That was what defined him in that moment. Confused and discombobulated.
He dressed in black denim slim jeans, a cream v-neck sweater and his high top white converse. Good enough. After quickly drying his hair, he decided to not style it as he’s only going to the park and most likely not anywhere else. No need to look extra special. Grabbing Kingsley’s leash off the coat rack next to the front door and a light jacket, they were out the door on their way to an unknown future.
Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to wear white sneakers outside. Apparently it had rained some last night without his knowledge and now the trail he usually used was nothing but mud filled. Great. Just dandy. Kyungsoo could only roll his eyes at his horrible luck.
As soon as they stepped out the door, Kingsley was on a rampage, pulling him the usual direction they took on their walks, causing him to almost face plant more than a few times as the dog eventually began running full speed and he, having short legs, tripped over his feet to catch up. He wasn’t all that surprised when he actually did fall but more freaking out as he just ruined a pair of shoes, jeans, and his favorite jacket. Kyungsoo could literally cry.
“Kingsley!” he called, sitting up from the ground on his hands, looking around trying to spot the golden furball but could only see the trees surrounding him. He felt tears starting to prickle the corners of his eyes. No. Kingsley wouldn’t just run away like that. He couldn’t.
Concluding it wasn’t helping the matter at hand by sitting on the ground and sulking silently, he got up, face contorting to sadness at his ruined outfit but quickly getting over it as he thought he had to get moving. Kyungsoo tried as hard as he could, searching this way and that, looking around everywhere from their regular trail-twice-to the sitting areas, to the little kiddie playground, to other trails but as always, came up empty. He took a seat on a nearby bench, settling on curling himself up in a ball and laying his head on his knees. He felt tears shyly fall down his face but made no move to wipe them away. It felt like just in the span of one day, his whole world came crashing down, leaving him no room to catch his breath after being thrown back so far. It wasn’t fair.
Kyungsoo didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, but he felt someone consistently shaking him and as his mind slowly came back to life, he detected warning bells going off in his head. Lifting his head up and pushing the strangers hand away from him, he felt weary and fuzzy as he stood, like he’d somehow fallen into a deep sleep and was being rudely awakened. Kyungsoo looked up-really up-at the stranger and was graced with a very handsome face. The man had boyish features but still managed to look mature, with huge-though not as big as his-deep brown eyes and shiny black hair. All Kyungsoo could see was worry written all over his face and then it dawned on him. He had fallen asleep on the bench and maybe the guy saw some creepy homeless guy trying to do something and he scared him away. Of course it’d be natural to feel worried for someone who was almost possibly mugged or kidnapped.
“Hey, are you okay? Were you asleep?” He asked, and Kyungsoo noticed how deep his voice was. It was kind of unexpected to him, for whatever reason, but it definitely fit. He actually really liked the nice timbre of it.
“Uh, I guess so?” His voice made it come out more like a question than a statement as he honestly wasn’t completely positive. “Um, thanks for… waking me up,” he ended awkwardly, feeling the blush creeping up his neck from a mile away. This was so embarrassing.
“No problem,” the tall stranger replied easily, giving a small friendly smile. Kyungsoo still had his head down, refusing to look up as he’d only get more flustered. “But I actually came to ask you something.”
Kyungsoo looked over to his side, finally noticing something-a black and white leash that look exactly like Kingsley’s in his hands-and began following the trail of it down to a blue collar with golden hair poking out of it. It was obviously a Golden Retriever from the fur but-wait. “Kingsley!” Kyungsoo chirped, getting down on one knee to pet the little monster. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Kyungsoo angled his head up to face the man. “Thank you,” he said gratefully with his famous heart-shaped smile.
The man didn’t answer immediately, just looked down with a seeming stuck expression on his face. But after a few seconds, he said, “You’re welcome.” Then added, “I’m Chanyeol by the way.”
Kyungsoo could feel himself being watched as he took the walk back to his tiny apartment. He didn’t chance glancing back, thinking it’d one, be awkward, two, beyond embarrassing and three, completely cliché. His life was not a romance movie. Far from it actually. But he couldn’t help the little twinkle of hope in his heart that maybe, even after just one day, he could find someone else.
But it didn’t stop him from crying himself to sleep that night.
--
The very next day, Kyungsoo made sure to dress in more appropriate clothing when he took Kingsley out to the park. The trail was exceptionally better than yesterday seeing that the mud had dried over, leaving not a lot of room for too much damage to his black running sneakers. He half expected the dog to go off in a frenzy again, running like a wild cat in the safari but he was surprisingly calm, just like all the other walks they’d taken.
Kyungsoo was so deep in thought, he didn’t even realize someone was trekking beside him until he heard, “Again?” Turning, he noticed it was the boy from yesterday. Chanyeol.
“What? Uh, I mean, sorry I didn’t hear you. Can you, um, repeat that?” He stumbled out, gripping Kingsley’s leash a bit tighter. Chanyeol laughed, and Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. He suddenly felt really nervous. He could sense Chanyeol gazing at him and it made him tense.
“It’s fine. You didn’t miss out on a lot anyway,” Chanyeol waved him off, as if it was no big deal that he was basically talking to himself for however long he’d been walking next to the other. “You take your dog on walks every day?” He asked curiously. Kyungsoo nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He didn’t know why he was acting this way, feeling this way. It was all foreign but familiar at the same time. It’s how he felt when he’d first met Jongin.
“Yeah. I do,” he answered shortly. Just thinking the name made him want to burst into tears. Now, he really wanted nothing more than to go back to small apartment, curl up on the couch with a comfy blanket and a good movie in the DVD player, drowning his sorrows in french vanilla ice cream and fudge brownies. “What do you do here?”
“I take runs on the trails, you know, to build up my stamina and speed incase a dog decides to chase me all around the park,” Chanyeol ended with a chuckle, a certain twinkle in his eyes that had Kyungsoo’s heart rate picking up. He didn’t know how to respond so he just kept his mouth shut, opting to look around at the all-too-familiar scenery of trees, trees, and more trees. When they reached the end, Kyungsoo stopped and turned to Chanyeol with his lips lifted in a lopsided smile. “Thanks… for walking with me,” he said. He didn’t want to just leave the boy so he thought this was a more perfect time than any to make his farewell. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Sure, around,” Chanyeol replied, a mysterious air surrounding his answer. He didn’t sound like a psycho or weirdo or anything. It was merely like it had some type of other meaning, if that even made sense. Stop over thinking. It’s exactly what it sounds like. He’ll see you around. Shaking his head at his own thoughts, Kyungsoo gave one last nod before walking away, feeling as if he left something unfinished, which, in due time, he’d understand is completely true.
--
For the rest of the week, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol walked through the trail together, talking about any and everything that came to mind. Kyungsoo found that Chanyeol was really easy to talk to and also pretty funny since he had the extreme habit of cracking jokes that, as corny as they were, made Kyungsoo laugh to the point his stomach would hurt and tears were pouring out of his eyes. It seemed taking Kingsley out for his walk was the highlight of his rather dull life. Jongin wasn’t so much of a constant in his mind when he was with Chanyeol, something he was immensely grateful for, but made it hurt that much more when he returned home to an empty house that slapped him in the face over and over again that they were done. There was no Kyungsoo and Jongin. There was just… Kyungsoo. And Kyungsoo alone. He wondered frequently what the other was doing. Had he really found someone else? Or was it just an excuse to get out of their relationship? Was he happy? Did he feel any remorse for hurting Kyungsoo in such a way? But when those thoughts surfaced themselves, he could only sigh and try his hardest to occupy his mind with something else. Something happy. It usually didn’t work.
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months until Kyungsoo looked at the calendar and realized it had been nearly three months since the breakup. He marked the date on his calendar, just for the sake of knowing when his heart was terribly stepped on, in red marker though he knew it wouldn’t help him sleep any better at night. If anything, it made things worse, but he’s learning to let go, even if it took him this long, he’s finally learning to let go.
Chanyeol and he had grown a lot closer, even hanging out outside of their routinely walks in the park and Kyungsoo couldn’t be anymore happy. When he was with Chanyeol was the only time he could say he was genuinely and truly happy. It was a nice change from the sadness that plagued his life months prior and he needed that. Change. For everything to be okay again.
It was just like any regular day when it happened. Kyungsoo was currently trying to calm his giggles as Chanyeol had just told a new joke he’d heard from his friend when the taller suddenly tilted his head in thought, watching Kyungsoo with a perplexed expression on his face. But the latter didn’t notice and continued walking, occasionally reaching down to pet Kingsley’s soft fur or coo at him.
“Go on a date with me Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol unexpectedly demanded. Honestly, he surprised himself too by just blatantly saying it like that, but he didn’t regret it. He’d actually been thinking about it for some time now but never found the courage to say it, afraid of facing rejection. Maybe his subconscious was doing him a favor.
He peered back at Kyungsoo only to see the shorter wearing a blank expression. He had no idea what the other was thinking or what his response would be, and, it kind of scared him. He’d taken a huge liking to the boy and slowly started to develop feelings for him the more time they’d spent together. He remembered when Kyungsoo had finally broken down that wall between them and told him about his breakup with some person he refused to name. All Chanyeol could continuously think was, why would someone ever want to leave Kyungsoo? He was such a sweet, nice and great person with a kind heart. And he’s completely adorable on top of everything. Who would want to walk away from a person that had the whole package? Chanyeol would never know. But he couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful that that person left so he could have the opportunity to make Kyungsoo happy, to have him feel nothing but complete and utter joy. He didn’t think he could bare it if he hurt the delicate person to such an extent it was unforgivable.
“Wait… you-are asking me, on a date?” Kyungsoo asked puzzledly, pointing to himself to make sure the male was actually speaking to him.
Chanyeol’s lips quirked up in a half smile, showing his adorable dimple and Kyungsoo thought he could swoon. “Yes, me, Chanyeol, is asking you, Kyungsoo, out on a date.”
The brunette was silent for a moment, thinking. On one hand, his heart was screaming yes. He really enjoyed the company the taller offered and it was like a breath of fresh every time they were together. But then on the other, his mind was reasoning not to rush. What if Chanyeol realized he didn’t like him like that after their date? Things would get awkward and he didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship over something so trivial.
But Kyungsoo was always one that followed his hearts desire.
“Um, okay.” He took a deep, shaky breath but quickly gained more confidence in his answer. “Yes, let’s go on a date. It should be fun.” Chanyeol looked like he’d literally went to the moon and back. His expression was priceless and Kyungsoo felt a bloom of warmth in his heart for being the cause of it.
--
They scheduled it to happen two days later. Kyungsoo was beyond excited, happy and animated for the date, but he was also nervous, anxious and scared of what it’d be like. What would they do? Chanyeol still hadn’t told him anything except to dress casually and be ready by 5PM. However, he didn’t mind. He actually anticipated it more from the mystery of it all.
It seemed time flew by in a flash because the next thing Kyungsoo knew, he was in his room, putting the finishing touches on his ‘casual’ outfit as he tried to think of a nice way to style his hair. Should he keep it down or give it an updo? Flipping his bangs on and off his forehead multiple times in the mirror helped him come to a conclusion. “Updo it is,” he muttered to himself. He had just dyed his hair a rich dark red a week prior and although he was totally digging it, he found he wasn’t exactly used to it yet. Chanyeol had said he looked good when they’d somehow bumped into each other at the café, which made him blush this way and that, before sputtering out a lame excuse to go and make someone’s order even though no one was in line. How embarrassing.
Just as he finished, the doorbell rang and promptly his heart rate picked up. He could feel his hands getting clammy and he felt a little hesitant to open the door. But, sucking in a big gulp of air, he rushed to the front door and opened it. As soon as he saw him, Kyungsoo was… speechless. The man looked absolutely flawless in black skinny’s that were ripped at the knees and a loose white v-neck shirt complete with high top black converse. His hair was parted to the side in a boyish manner that definitely fit his skater-ish style. But that wasn’t what left him speechless. It was what was poking out underneath the chest part of Chanyeol’s shirt. A tattoo. A tattoo that spread across the expanse of his chest in an almost necklace manner. He couldn’t tell what it said from the clothing blocking it from his view, but it was such a turn on, Kyungsoo had to look away for a second to catch his breath and slow his thoughts.
“You look great,” Chanyeol offered when Kyungsoo didn’t say anything but opted to turning his body away, hiding his face in his hands. The shorter was decked out in an outfit similar to his with dark blue skinny’s that hugged his body in all the right places, a red, white and blue unbuttoned flannel shirt (he had on an undershirt, don’t worry) and black vans. His new hair made him pop too. Chanyeol loved it.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo muttered out. “You-you too.” Chanyeol raised a brow, but nonetheless didn’t push his curiosity. “Ready to go?”
“Mhm, lemme just grab my keys real quick… okay?” Kyungsoo scurried back to where Chanyeol guess was his room. He took this as his time to quickly glance around the place. It was nice. Simple, but nice. There were pictures everywhere and Kyungsoo looked so happy in all of them. Chanyeol’s heart squeezed. Walking over to a table near the only window (which was huge and ran a length of the wall), Chanyeol continued to gaze at picture after picture, a smile gracing his features. There was one that stood out to him though. It was all the way in the back, seeming to be intentionally covered by the rest. There were two people in it. Kyungsoo and an unfamiliar boy. They were sitting at a what appeared to be a picnic table side-by-side and Kyungsoo had his arms hugged around the person who in turn, had one arm laying on Kyungsoo’s shoulders in a lazy but protective manner, holding up a peace sign with his other hand. They were both smiling brightly and Chanyeol could tell that was probably a beautiful day for Kyungsoo. He didn’t know what to feel. The guy was obviously someone special to the shorter and they were obviously happy together. Would he ever be like that with Kyungsoo? Who was the person anyway?
“Ahem.” Chanyeol spun around so fast, subtly trying to set the picture down in the process which, by some miracle, he was able to without giving himself away. “Ready?”
“Yup, let’s go.” Kyungsoo led them to the door, making sure to turn off the lights before opening it, gesturing for Chanyeol to walk out first. After taking one last sweep around, Kyungsoo closed the door softly behind him, beyond ready to start this date.
It turns out Chanyeol’s surprise came in the form of the annual beginning-of-the-summer carnival. And all Kyungsoo could say was, it was huge and packed. There were literally people everywhere and he was sure he’d somehow lose Chanyeol in the crowd, that is, until the taller took his hand securely, glancing down in amusement when Kyungsoo flushed red. They did a lot of things-got on rides, face painting, played little games that had Kyungsoo almost crying at the injustice of them and Chanyeol getting fed up with it and winning the game in one go. Kyungsoo felt like such a loser when those moments happened (which was almost every game he attempted to play) but would always brighten up when Chanyeol presented him with a little teddy bear as his reward for ‘at least trying’. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed before his stomach growled, erupting a heartfelt laugh out of Chanyeol. Kyungsoo tried to be angry, or at least annoyed, but seeing Chanyeol’s weird but cute laughing face only made him feel the exact opposite. They stopped to eat at a small restaurant that was a distance away from the carnival that wasn’t nearly as crowded as the first one they went to. Settling at a table for two, Chanyeol picked up a menu, scanning it over with his eyes and occasionally stealing glances at Kyungsoo who sat looking so innocent across from him.
Chanyeol could hear his heart begin to pound in his ears. Never had he felt this way toward someone in such a short amount of time. Yeah, he had lovers before, but none of them held a candle to his feelings for Kyungsoo. It was as if he was an angel sent from heaven, just for him. It was surreal and Chanyeol swore he’d wake up and it’d all have been a dream. But, dreams didn’t last forever, and it seemed his future with Kyungsoo would.
“Ready to order?” A waiter asked, drawing Chanyeol from his thoughts.
“Um, yeah. I’ll have some curly fries, large, and a coke. You?” He directed his attention to Kyungsoo, who was still looking over the menu.
“I’ll take a cheeseburger and some fries with a coke, please.” Kyungsoo smiled cutely at the waiter, who blushed, mumbling she’d be right back with their drinks. Chanyeol didn’t realize he was staring at the latter until he said, “What?” Kyungsoo shielded his face from Chanyeol’s view with his hands. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
“Huh? Like what?” Chanyeol asked quizzically.
Kyungsoo scoffed, though it came out muffled. “Oh you know how Park Chanyeol.”
“Take your hands off your face Soo,” Chanyeol lightly demanded. The shorter did as he was told. “Now staring at you how?”
Kyungsoo huffed. “I don’t know. You were just staring at me with this expression on your-” he abruptly cut himself off as he got this far away look in his eyes. It seemed he was looking at someone. Confused, Chanyeol followed Kyungsoo’s line of sight and was met with a familiar face. It was the boy who’d been in the photograph with Kyungsoo at the picnic table. He was with another person, a very pretty girl that had her arms wrapped loosely around his waist. It was clear they were dating from the smiles they sent each other that spoke volumes words can’t. Love. It was evident in every move they made that they were in love. Turning back to his date, Chanyeol noticed Kyungsoo’s eyes were clouded over in tears that looked ready to spill over any minute. “Kyungsoo?”
“I have to go to the bathroom.” He raised from his chair and not giving Chanyeol any time to answer, ran up to the cashier to ask for directions. Chanyeol was at a loss. He had no idea what just happened. Why did he react so strongly… then it clicked. The boyfriend Kyungsoo told Chanyeol about that one day a month or two ago. The boyfriend that told Kyungsoo he’d found someone else. The boyfriend that completely broke Kyungsoo’s heart. But, the boyfriend that gave him a chance with Kyungsoo. Without thinking, he also stood from his seat, completely abandoning the table to go look for the boy. He asked the cashier where the bathroom and was directed down a short hall where on the left side sat the door to the males room. He pushed it open and glanced around, finally hearing soft crying in the last one. He went to it unconsciously. It almost seemed like a beacon to him.
Knocking lightly, Chanyeol realized it was locked. “Kyungsoo, open up. It’s me.” He could hear sniffles and it broke his heart. He didn’t want Kyungsoo in pain now when it seemed he’d only just come back to life.
“Go,” he took a shuddery breath, “Away Chanyeol,” he finished weakly, beginning to gently cry all over again.
“Kyungsoo, please, open the door,” Chanyeol begged, feeling in slight agony. It hurt that Kyungsoo wouldn’t let him in because he wanted nothing more than to kiss his forehead and take all the pain away. “Please.” Chanyeol heard the lock click and he wasted no time swinging the door open and pulling Kyungsoo into his solid embrace. Kyungsoo couldn’t hold it in any longer, chest heaving with sobs and all the feelings he’d kept bottled up. He knew that he most likely ruined their date for crying but just seeing Jongin with someone else, someone else that wasn’t him, hurt like hell. It seemed those few seconds were all it took to bring him right back to where he was three months ago. In a black hole with no escape. No happiness. No nothing. He was so thankful to have Chanyeol, though. Because with the dimple endowed man by his side, he’s sure there wouldn’t have been any coming out of this one.
Kyungsoo held his arms tight around Chanyeol’s waist, burying his head in his chest and breathing in his comfortable scent that had the miracle of slowing his tears. He didn’t know how the other did it, but it was magical how just having Chanyeol arms around him calmed him down.
Letting out the last of his sniffles, Kyungsoo looked up at Chanyeol with apologetic eyes that also held admiration and thankfulness in them. He wanted nothing more than to lean up and press his lips to the tallers. It scared him, but he desired it, craved it. Wanted it more now than ever.
“Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol glimpsed down at him, hurt written all over his face. “Yeah?” He answered gruffly.
“Are you okay?”
Chanyeol sighed. “When you’re hurt, I’m hurt. When you’re happy, I’m happy. The most important question right now is, are you okay?”
“I’m… I don’t know.” He glanced down. “I don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” he replied honestly. Chanyeol nodded, loosening his hold but not letting go. “Wanna get out of here?” Appetite long gone, Kyungsoo shook his head yes but made no move to leave. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to go back out there and see Jongin happy with someone else. He wanted to stay here with Chanyeol, just like this, for the rest of eternity.
They did leave eventually, Kyungsoo hiding behind Chanyeol to make himself invisible to anyone who decided to look their way. When they finally made it out, Kyungsoo felt he could breath again. It was like he was suffocating as soon as he walked in.
After the whole charade in the restaurant, Chanyeol decided to take Kyungsoo home as he was sure the younger was tired from all the tear-shedding he did. And he was right. Kyungsoo had fallen asleep by the time they’d made it back to his building, resulting in Chanyeol having to carry him all the way to the apartment. He wasn’t fazed too much. Kyungsoo was pretty light. Once they got to the door, realization hit that he didn’t have the key and he cursed himself for not thinking to get it out of Kyungsoo’s pocket when they were still in the car. So, he took matters in his own hands. Literally. Chanyeol tried as best as he could, reaching his hands into Kyungsoo’s front pockets, only to come up with nothing. Back pockets then? Sure enough, he could feel the key sticking out in the right pocket of Kyungsoo’s jeans. “Oh, this is too embarrassing,” he said to himself as he stretched a hand into the pocket and successfully got out the key. Problem averted. Wait, nope. He still had to unlock the door. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He’s surprised the boy didn’t wake up from how much Chanyeol was jostling him in his struggles of trying to get into the damn house. It only took a good five minutes, but he eventually got the key in the keyhole and threw the door open. His arms were so tired at this point, he nearly dropped Kyungsoo at seeing the sight of his living room.
It was dark in the house and he’d only ever been in it a few hours ago so he didn’t exactly know the place at all. He wanted to hurry and get Kyungsoo to his room, on his bed, because his arms were starting to give out, and it’d be horrible if actually dropped the boy. It barely took him two minutes to find the bedroom and upon spotting the bed, immediately walked to it, setting Kyungsoo down a delicately as he could. Leaning up, he rested his hands on his hips, taking a deep breath. That was a work out indeed.
He was just about to leave when he heard a whisper so soft, it was barely swept away with the nonexist wind. “Where are you going?” Kyungsoo still laid with his eyes closed but it was clear he’d awoken from his short slumber. “Stay with me.”
Chanyeol felt conflicted. He was positive nothing would happen if he stayed but it was only so much he could do to restrain himself from prancing on the younger if the situation present itself. He didn’t want to feel like he’s rushing into things also. Most importantly, he didn’t want to be used as some one night stand (though it wouldn’t exactly be called that, Chanyeol didn’t know any other way to describe it) because Kyungsoo was feeling sad and lonely at that particular moment. But in the end, he relented and strided back over to the bed, settling down next to the shorter and turning so that he faced his beautiful face. Chanyeol reached a hand out to stroke his cheek and took notice in how Kyungsoo seemed to unconsciously lean into his touch. It made his heart soar. Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered open not to long later, gracing Chanyeol with his pulchritudinous smile. And he didn’t know when it happened, but suddenly, Kyungsoo’s lips were on his. They were immensely soft and luscious and he knew he would never get tired of them. Chanyeol rolled on top of Kyungsoo, taking complete dominance of the kiss, and it was then things began getting hotter, more sensual. Kyungsoo tilted his head, opening his mouth and Chanyeol wasted no time slipping his tongue in, erupting a soft moan out of Kyungsoo. He could feel himself becoming more and more aroused and knew it was time to stop before he’d really regret his decision on staying. Chanyeol pulled away first, trying to catch his breath all the while peppering Kyungsoo’s face with butterfly kisses. When he was satisfied, he rolled back over, dropping onto the bed with a slight thud. They were quiet for quite some time, the sexual tension raging in the air like an angry grey cloud hanging over them. They both wanted it, but they both knew it wasn’t the right time. Would it ever be?
Chanyeol didn’t get much sleep that night. He made a split second decision to stay when Kyungsoo nearly begged him not leave. They had cuddled, but nothing more. Chanyeol wished they did more. He wished more than he cared to admit. And from the looks Kyungsoo occasionally sent his way, it seemed he did too. He didn’t bring up the boy from the restaurant either, although he was highly inquisitive of who he really was. All Chanyeol had was merely his conclusions and even if it pained him to see Kyungsoo hurt, he knew he’d have to ask him sooner or later. But the more he thought about it, the more he sensed not asking at all was best. The past was the past, and he was certain he’d be Kyungsoo’s future.
--
It was exactly one month after their first date that Chanyeol asked Kyungsoo to be his boyfriend. And it was the same day they made love to each other for the first time. Kyungsoo swore he was the happiest soul on the planet. Something was finally going right for him, and he’d be damned if he lost it again.
--
They’d eventually decided it was be best if Kyungsoo moved out of his apartment. It held too many memories he’d rather not remember as they’d only hurt his heart. He was excited to be living with Chanyeol. It was one step away from the past he was willing to take. It was a fresh start.
--
It had been a very long day, yet Kyungsoo couldn’t fall asleep for the life of him. For hours, he’d sat hunched over his desk, pouring his eyes over textbooks and websites. He’d been studying abundantly as there was a huge test coming up in a few days and even if he was confident he wouldn’t fail, he also wanted to do very good on it. Kyungsoo never settled for average. He always aimed for the best. But as tired as he complained relentlessly to Chanyeol he was, he couldn’t doze off. At all.
Chanyeol was on his left, snoring softly into his pillow and Kyungsoo could only sigh as he positioned his body so that he was facing the taller. Gazing at his sleeping face made Kyungsoo feel a burst of affection in his chest for the boy. He loved him. He really did. The man was literally everything he could ask for and more. “I love you, Chanyeol,” he whispered to the empty air.
Unbeknownst to him, his eyes closed and he’d finally slipped into a deep sleep.
He woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Instinctively, panic rose up in his throat, that is, until a yellow sticky note resting on Chanyeol’s pillow caught his attention. Snatching it up, Kyungsoo’s eyes scanned over it quickly before letting out a relieved breath.
Good morning beautiful~ Just wanted to let you know not to panic since I know you will. I went out to grab some things for breakfast. We really have to go to the grocery
store T.T I’ll be back soon, kay? Love you!
-Chanyeol
Kyungsoo chuckled as he slowly leaned back on the bed. He thought he’d almost have a heart attack if Chanyeol hadn’t left anything. It seemed he still had some leftover exhaustion from yesterday as he could feel himself falling back asleep, but right before he was completely dead, this eyes shot open. Why, he wasn’t sure himself, but something was telling him to go in the living room and turn on the TV, which is exactly what he did.
It was on the news.
Apparently there’d just been a terrible car accident and from the pictures that popped up on the screen, it was clear the people involved would have a long recovery ahead of them. But then the news anchor said something that sparked Kyungsoo’s mind.
“Report says that an innocent bystander was also involved. It seems the man was on his way back from a local grocery store when the accident happened. He was crossing the street, witnesses say, and apparently didn’t notice the cars coming toward him. He’d been hit and doctors aren’t sure if he’d survive this one.”
He didn’t need a name. He already knew who it was.
Kyungsoo felt his face drain of any emotion. Numb, that was what he was right now. “No, no, no, no!” Kingsley started barking, and the woman on TV continued talking and it was making Kyungsoo feel like the walls were closing in on him. He couldn’t break down now. It wasn’t the time nor place to do so. Running to the front door, he pulled on the first pair of shoes he saw, not caring that he was still in his sleepwear, and bolted out the door, one person on his mind.
Making it to the hospital, he nearly fainted trying to catch his breath. It’d been a far stretch from where they lived but he didn’t care. If it concerned Chanyeol, all logic went out the window. He doesn’t think he could bear it if anything happened to his beloved.
Kyungsoo looked around frantically for anyone, a doctor or nurse, that’d take him back to his boyfriend. He had to see him. He just had to. Spotting a woman carrying a tray full of cups of what he assumed was water, Kyungsoo sprinted over to her, taking a hold of her shoulder to get her attention.
“Excuse me, I need help,” Kyungsoo stated, trying to calm his nerves. His heart was pounding fast against his rib cage and he thought he’d pass out any minute if he didn’t get back there to see Chanyeol.
“What is it?” She asked, soothingly, worry laced in her tone.
“Park-Chanyeol. He’s-he’s back there. I have to see him,” he explained, stumbling over his words.
“Park Chanyeol… Oh, I’m sorry sir, you can’t. The doctors are working on him right now. No one’s allowed back there yet.” Kyungsoo wanted to pull his hair out in frustration. He knew he was close to losing it, no matter how hard he tried to keep himself under control.
“I don’t think you understand. I have to get back there! Chanyeol needs me!”
“Sir, calm down. Why don’t I go get you some tea to loosen up your nerves? How does that sound?”
Kyungsoo gave her an incredulous look, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. “Do I want any tea!? Are you crazy!? My boyfriend’s back there dying and you’re asking me if I want tea!?” He couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t care anymore. Running away, he attempted to run to the huge double doors that held his helpless boyfriend but as soon as his hands touched the handle, the doors swung open, nearly smacking him in the face if he didn’t move back in time.
“Is there anyone here for Park Chanyeol?” The doctor asked, looking around the rather packed waiting room. Kyungsoo immediately rushed foreword, tears already falling down his cheeks. “Me! I’m his boyfriend, Do Kyungsoo!”
The doctor gave him a grim look. “Is there any family?”
“I’m not sure they’ve been notified yet that their son’s in the hospital, sir,” a nurse said beside him, a mask covering the lower half of her face.
“Well do it now,” he ordered, then, with a sigh, turned his attention to Kyungsoo. “Mr. Do, I’m so sorry-”
“No!” Kyungsoo shrieked. He felt his heart stop entirely. His world was crumbling around his feet again, except this was a million times worse. It can’t be true. He can’t be… dead. He can’t be gone. He can’t give up so easily. It’s not in his nature. Chanyeol was back there in his room, recovering from the accident. He’s still here and alive.
“We tried as best as we could but, he lost too much blood on the way to the hospital and it was nearly impossible for him to make it. I’m really sorry.”
“You didn’t try! If you did, he’d still be alive! He can’t be gone. He just can’t…” Kyungsoo dropped down to his knees, bringing his head to his hands, covering his tear streaked face. His shoulders shook from how hard he was sobbing. The doctor reached down to pat the lad on the shoulder but Kyungsoo jerked away from his touch. He didn’t want anyone to touch him. He was too far gone to care about comfort. He just wanted to hurt. “He can’t be gone. He couldn’t have given up so easily,” he whispered raspily, brokenly. “It’s not fair! Take me instead,” he prayed. “Bring him back and take me. I don’t care, just bring him back.”
Kyungsoo didn’t know how long he’d been curled up on the floor, but suddenly, he couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t see nor feeling a thing. Nothing.
And then he was falling.
--
Kyungsoo woke up in a cold sweat. He swore he’d just had the strangest dream but couldn’t recall a thing no matter how hard he tried. It was daylight by the time he woke up, the sun peeking into their slightly opened curtains. He thought he might as well get started on breakfast since he was the better cook of the house (but he won’t be admitting that to Chanyeol any time soon). Trudging into the kitchen, Kyungsoo looked for anything he could use to cook a nice morning meal but came up empty handed. Quietly tiptoeing back into their room, Kyungsoo threw on some clothes, not really caring about his appearance since he figured everyone was probably sleeping in. It was a Saturday, after all. He reasoned he should just go to the small market up the road to grab something quick as he’s sure Chanyeol’s expecting a full course meal after the long week he’d had. Searching around in his nightstand drawer he found a stack of yellow sticky notes and a pen. After writing a small note incase Chanyeol woke up and he wasn’t there, he placed it on his pillow, leaning over to give the taller a peck on the cheek before making his way back to the front of the house. Kyungsoo slipped on a pair of flip flops since the autumn air had yet to kick in and, grabbing his keys and a light pullover, was out the door.
It was a beautiful day. We should do something today, Kyungsoo thought with a nod of his head. He’d just left the market, only one bag hanging in his hands. He didn’t want to get too much, though he was very tempted with all the food surrounding him. He found himself in a fantastic mood and began whistling a tune as he crossed the street.
“Hey watch out!” Someone called behind him.
He really wished he would’ve looked both ways that time. He really wished he would've reacted quicker. He really wished he could tell Chanyeol one last time that he loved him.
The cars were rolling closer, quicker than he ever would’ve imagine. Everything seemed surreal in that moment, honestly. A single tear dropped from his eye and then everything went black.
--
“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said one evening as they were cuddled up on the couch watching a marathon of Lord of the Rings. It was all Chanyeol’s idea and despite the fact that Kyungsoo found the movies to be rather boring, he couldn’t say no to the pout the taller unconsciously gave at the sight of Kyungsoo’s hesitant face.
“Yeah?”
“What’s the tattoo on your chest say?”
The other was silent. “Me sauver,” he answered after a while.
“What does that mean?”
“Save me. It’s French.”
Kyungsoo squinted his eyes in confusion. “Why’d you get that? Did you need someone to save you?” He lightly teased.
Chanyeol peered down at him, something strange in his eyes that somehow spoke volumes. “I did.” Then softly added, “And you were the one to do it.”
ʚ Pairing(s): Kyungsoo/Chanyeol, broken!Kyungsoo/Jongin
ʚ Rating: PG-13
ʚ Warnings: Character death
ʚ Word Count: 8420
ʚ Summary: It’s a spring blooming day when Kyungsoo meets Park Chanyeol.
ʚ Message for your recipient/author note: I want to thank T for helping me through this and giving me endless support. I also want to apologize if I did stray too much from the original prompt. The ending’s a little rushed but I really hope you like it. Happy readings :)
“We have to break up. I’m so sorry Kyungsoo. I just-I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. I found someone else and… I think you should too.”
Kyungsoo scoffed at his thoughts, tears welling up in his eyes as he threw the shot of alcohol down his throat, making a face at the burning sensation he felt. It was equal to his heart. Scorching with anger and hurt and sadness. How could Jongin do this to him? Was he not good enough? Did he not matter anymore? Was he just a fling? Was he anything to Jongin in the first place?
“Heh, obviously not Kyungsoo since he dumped your ass,” Kyungsoo chuckled humorlessly to himself. “You never mattered at him and he never cared about you. So just get over it. Get over it.”
It happened that evening.
Kyungsoo had just gotten home from his job at the café and was beyond tired since Friday’s were usually one of the busiest days of the week. He couldn’t wait to get back to his small apartment and give Jongin a huge kiss on the lips and then snuggle with him until he fell into a peaceful slumber. Little did he know, today would be the last time they’d ever be together. There was no going back after today.
The house was completely dark and Kyungsoo almost didn’t see him, that is, until he noticed an outline of a person sitting on the couch from the streetlights shining through the window, giving Jongin an almost ethereal look. Kyungsoo felt himself falling in love all over again.
He was getting ready to switch on the lights so he could see that oh so handsome face until Jongin abruptly said, “No. Keep the lights off.”
“Okay…” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows in confusion.
“Can you come sit next to me?” Jongin asked, a hint of something Kyungsoo couldn’t decipher in his voice. He told his mind to ignore it as he went and sat down, making sure not to knock anything over in the process.
Kyungsoo let out a deep, happy sigh. The couch was so comfortable. Actually, anything would be comfortable to him right about now; he was that exhausted. It seemed he’d been on his feet all day. It was nice to finally have a break.
Kyungsoo turned his head to glance at his boyfriend before leaning back and closing his eyes blissfully. “Are you okay? Is there a reason why we’re sitting in the dark?”
Jongin didn’t answer for a while. Kyungsoo didn’t mind though. He rather enjoyed the silence.
“Kyungsoo, why do you like me?” Jongin suddenly asked, erupting a laugh from Kyungsoo who still had his eyes closed and failed to see the troubled expression on Jongin’s face.
“What kind of question is that? You’re perfect,” Kyungsoo answered confidently, though there was a hint of teasing in his tone.
Jongin heaved out a breath, and seeming to collect his thoughts, stood from the couch. Kyungsoo looked up at him. What exactly was going on?
“We have to… talk Kyungsoo. About us.”
Kyungsoo could feel himself drift away for a second. This conversation could either go two ways. Which one was it?
Before he could even open his mouth, Jongin continued.
“We have to break up. I’m so sorry Kyungsoo. I just-I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. I found someone else and… I think you should too…” Kyungsoo couldn’t hear anything after that except the extreme pounding of his heart in his ears. He’s sure he looked blank as ever as he sensed so many emotions were fighting their way to his face. Anger, sadness, pain. Anything that describes… heartbreak. That’s how he felt.
“Why…” Kyungsoo squeaked out, tilting his head up to get one more look at Jongin’s beautiful face before the boy walked out of his life forever only to find that he’s sitting in his living room… alone. There was no one in sight and it was completely silent, forcing him to hear his thoughts at maximum volume. How long had he spaced out?
No, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
Kyungsoo found his keys and let his feet take him wherever they desired.
“I’d like another drink please,” Kyungsoo slurred to the bartender in an unattractive way, pointing his finger lazily in a circular motion with a slight smirk.
The bartender rolled his eyes but nonetheless asked the customer what he wanted.
“Your strongest drink.”
“Coming right up.” He turned away to make the order, leaving Kyungsoo once again with his own thoughts as his only company. Sure, he was in a room full of drunk, horny college students but he couldn’t have felt more alone than he did in that moment.
--
Kyungsoo didn’t want to get out of bed the next morning, didn’t want to do anything the next morning-or for the rest of his life. He had no idea how he even got back to his house whatsoever and the killer headache pounding on the left side of his head wasn’t making things any better. Why couldn’t everything just… stop?
“Ruff, ruff!” He heard his dog bark from outside his bedroom door. Rolling over and throwing the covers off to the side, Kyungsoo could see he was still fully clothed in what he’d been wearing the previous day. It was then he decided he’d throw them out once he got dressed. They brought back horrible memories. They brought back the time when it felt like his heart and soul had literally crushed into a million tiny pieces. Get ahold of yourself. Come back to reality for once. Jongin was merely a dream you needed to wake up from anyway.
Taking a deep sigh of resolve, Kyungsoo relented and got out of bed. He wanted-no needed-to get over it. It was time to move on, just as Jongin had so painfully announced not even twenty-four hours before.
“Okay, okay. I’m coming,” Kyungsoo said, a small yawn escaping his tired lips. He felt exhausted and everything on him hurt. He didn’t want to occupy the reasons why though. Opening his bedroom door, a ball of gold immediately flew through, nearly knocking him over in the process. He could hear the dog sniffing around his bed, eventually coming over to smell him, obviously catching the scent of unfamiliar people lingering on his clothes and skin. Kyungsoo kneeled down and ruffled the dogs fur. From this point on, Kingsley was his only companion. The only thing that could keep him going and from driving himself insane out of self misery.
“I know you wanna go outside. Just a few more minutes okay?” Kyungsoo gave Kingsley a gentle kiss on the head, taking a moment to relax on his soft fur. He could do this. It’s going to be okay.
A few moments later, he stood and walked over to his closet, finding something cozy and comfortable to wear. It was in the beginning stages of spring but there was still drops of winter in the biting wind they’d been receiving lately. Heading to the bathroom, Kyungsoo turned on the shower, making sure the water was scorching hot-just how he liked it-and after quickly undressing, hopped in, giving a soft moan of pleasure. The water rushing over his naked body helped loosen his tense, aching muscles and soothe his head a bit. He took his time, washing his body and hair thoroughly, not stepping out until the water began getting cold. When he was done drying off, he took a second to look in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes, more prominent now than ever from lack of sleep due to the abundant amount of college work that had to be done being a double major and on top of that, working nearly five hours at the local café most of the week to bring in extra cash so he can have food on the plate every night. It was difficult but he had Jongin that helped make it seem like he didn’t always have a burden on his shoulders. Now, he didn’t have the boy to ease his worries, to make him feel like everything was going to be just fine.
Kyungsoo abruptly swiped his hand across the steam filled mirror causing his reflection to look disoriented and weird. That was what defined him in that moment. Confused and discombobulated.
He dressed in black denim slim jeans, a cream v-neck sweater and his high top white converse. Good enough. After quickly drying his hair, he decided to not style it as he’s only going to the park and most likely not anywhere else. No need to look extra special. Grabbing Kingsley’s leash off the coat rack next to the front door and a light jacket, they were out the door on their way to an unknown future.
Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to wear white sneakers outside. Apparently it had rained some last night without his knowledge and now the trail he usually used was nothing but mud filled. Great. Just dandy. Kyungsoo could only roll his eyes at his horrible luck.
As soon as they stepped out the door, Kingsley was on a rampage, pulling him the usual direction they took on their walks, causing him to almost face plant more than a few times as the dog eventually began running full speed and he, having short legs, tripped over his feet to catch up. He wasn’t all that surprised when he actually did fall but more freaking out as he just ruined a pair of shoes, jeans, and his favorite jacket. Kyungsoo could literally cry.
“Kingsley!” he called, sitting up from the ground on his hands, looking around trying to spot the golden furball but could only see the trees surrounding him. He felt tears starting to prickle the corners of his eyes. No. Kingsley wouldn’t just run away like that. He couldn’t.
Concluding it wasn’t helping the matter at hand by sitting on the ground and sulking silently, he got up, face contorting to sadness at his ruined outfit but quickly getting over it as he thought he had to get moving. Kyungsoo tried as hard as he could, searching this way and that, looking around everywhere from their regular trail-twice-to the sitting areas, to the little kiddie playground, to other trails but as always, came up empty. He took a seat on a nearby bench, settling on curling himself up in a ball and laying his head on his knees. He felt tears shyly fall down his face but made no move to wipe them away. It felt like just in the span of one day, his whole world came crashing down, leaving him no room to catch his breath after being thrown back so far. It wasn’t fair.
Kyungsoo didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, but he felt someone consistently shaking him and as his mind slowly came back to life, he detected warning bells going off in his head. Lifting his head up and pushing the strangers hand away from him, he felt weary and fuzzy as he stood, like he’d somehow fallen into a deep sleep and was being rudely awakened. Kyungsoo looked up-really up-at the stranger and was graced with a very handsome face. The man had boyish features but still managed to look mature, with huge-though not as big as his-deep brown eyes and shiny black hair. All Kyungsoo could see was worry written all over his face and then it dawned on him. He had fallen asleep on the bench and maybe the guy saw some creepy homeless guy trying to do something and he scared him away. Of course it’d be natural to feel worried for someone who was almost possibly mugged or kidnapped.
“Hey, are you okay? Were you asleep?” He asked, and Kyungsoo noticed how deep his voice was. It was kind of unexpected to him, for whatever reason, but it definitely fit. He actually really liked the nice timbre of it.
“Uh, I guess so?” His voice made it come out more like a question than a statement as he honestly wasn’t completely positive. “Um, thanks for… waking me up,” he ended awkwardly, feeling the blush creeping up his neck from a mile away. This was so embarrassing.
“No problem,” the tall stranger replied easily, giving a small friendly smile. Kyungsoo still had his head down, refusing to look up as he’d only get more flustered. “But I actually came to ask you something.”
Kyungsoo looked over to his side, finally noticing something-a black and white leash that look exactly like Kingsley’s in his hands-and began following the trail of it down to a blue collar with golden hair poking out of it. It was obviously a Golden Retriever from the fur but-wait. “Kingsley!” Kyungsoo chirped, getting down on one knee to pet the little monster. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Kyungsoo angled his head up to face the man. “Thank you,” he said gratefully with his famous heart-shaped smile.
The man didn’t answer immediately, just looked down with a seeming stuck expression on his face. But after a few seconds, he said, “You’re welcome.” Then added, “I’m Chanyeol by the way.”
Kyungsoo could feel himself being watched as he took the walk back to his tiny apartment. He didn’t chance glancing back, thinking it’d one, be awkward, two, beyond embarrassing and three, completely cliché. His life was not a romance movie. Far from it actually. But he couldn’t help the little twinkle of hope in his heart that maybe, even after just one day, he could find someone else.
But it didn’t stop him from crying himself to sleep that night.
--
The very next day, Kyungsoo made sure to dress in more appropriate clothing when he took Kingsley out to the park. The trail was exceptionally better than yesterday seeing that the mud had dried over, leaving not a lot of room for too much damage to his black running sneakers. He half expected the dog to go off in a frenzy again, running like a wild cat in the safari but he was surprisingly calm, just like all the other walks they’d taken.
Kyungsoo was so deep in thought, he didn’t even realize someone was trekking beside him until he heard, “Again?” Turning, he noticed it was the boy from yesterday. Chanyeol.
“What? Uh, I mean, sorry I didn’t hear you. Can you, um, repeat that?” He stumbled out, gripping Kingsley’s leash a bit tighter. Chanyeol laughed, and Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. He suddenly felt really nervous. He could sense Chanyeol gazing at him and it made him tense.
“It’s fine. You didn’t miss out on a lot anyway,” Chanyeol waved him off, as if it was no big deal that he was basically talking to himself for however long he’d been walking next to the other. “You take your dog on walks every day?” He asked curiously. Kyungsoo nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He didn’t know why he was acting this way, feeling this way. It was all foreign but familiar at the same time. It’s how he felt when he’d first met Jongin.
“Yeah. I do,” he answered shortly. Just thinking the name made him want to burst into tears. Now, he really wanted nothing more than to go back to small apartment, curl up on the couch with a comfy blanket and a good movie in the DVD player, drowning his sorrows in french vanilla ice cream and fudge brownies. “What do you do here?”
“I take runs on the trails, you know, to build up my stamina and speed incase a dog decides to chase me all around the park,” Chanyeol ended with a chuckle, a certain twinkle in his eyes that had Kyungsoo’s heart rate picking up. He didn’t know how to respond so he just kept his mouth shut, opting to look around at the all-too-familiar scenery of trees, trees, and more trees. When they reached the end, Kyungsoo stopped and turned to Chanyeol with his lips lifted in a lopsided smile. “Thanks… for walking with me,” he said. He didn’t want to just leave the boy so he thought this was a more perfect time than any to make his farewell. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Sure, around,” Chanyeol replied, a mysterious air surrounding his answer. He didn’t sound like a psycho or weirdo or anything. It was merely like it had some type of other meaning, if that even made sense. Stop over thinking. It’s exactly what it sounds like. He’ll see you around. Shaking his head at his own thoughts, Kyungsoo gave one last nod before walking away, feeling as if he left something unfinished, which, in due time, he’d understand is completely true.
--
For the rest of the week, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol walked through the trail together, talking about any and everything that came to mind. Kyungsoo found that Chanyeol was really easy to talk to and also pretty funny since he had the extreme habit of cracking jokes that, as corny as they were, made Kyungsoo laugh to the point his stomach would hurt and tears were pouring out of his eyes. It seemed taking Kingsley out for his walk was the highlight of his rather dull life. Jongin wasn’t so much of a constant in his mind when he was with Chanyeol, something he was immensely grateful for, but made it hurt that much more when he returned home to an empty house that slapped him in the face over and over again that they were done. There was no Kyungsoo and Jongin. There was just… Kyungsoo. And Kyungsoo alone. He wondered frequently what the other was doing. Had he really found someone else? Or was it just an excuse to get out of their relationship? Was he happy? Did he feel any remorse for hurting Kyungsoo in such a way? But when those thoughts surfaced themselves, he could only sigh and try his hardest to occupy his mind with something else. Something happy. It usually didn’t work.
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months until Kyungsoo looked at the calendar and realized it had been nearly three months since the breakup. He marked the date on his calendar, just for the sake of knowing when his heart was terribly stepped on, in red marker though he knew it wouldn’t help him sleep any better at night. If anything, it made things worse, but he’s learning to let go, even if it took him this long, he’s finally learning to let go.
Chanyeol and he had grown a lot closer, even hanging out outside of their routinely walks in the park and Kyungsoo couldn’t be anymore happy. When he was with Chanyeol was the only time he could say he was genuinely and truly happy. It was a nice change from the sadness that plagued his life months prior and he needed that. Change. For everything to be okay again.
It was just like any regular day when it happened. Kyungsoo was currently trying to calm his giggles as Chanyeol had just told a new joke he’d heard from his friend when the taller suddenly tilted his head in thought, watching Kyungsoo with a perplexed expression on his face. But the latter didn’t notice and continued walking, occasionally reaching down to pet Kingsley’s soft fur or coo at him.
“Go on a date with me Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol unexpectedly demanded. Honestly, he surprised himself too by just blatantly saying it like that, but he didn’t regret it. He’d actually been thinking about it for some time now but never found the courage to say it, afraid of facing rejection. Maybe his subconscious was doing him a favor.
He peered back at Kyungsoo only to see the shorter wearing a blank expression. He had no idea what the other was thinking or what his response would be, and, it kind of scared him. He’d taken a huge liking to the boy and slowly started to develop feelings for him the more time they’d spent together. He remembered when Kyungsoo had finally broken down that wall between them and told him about his breakup with some person he refused to name. All Chanyeol could continuously think was, why would someone ever want to leave Kyungsoo? He was such a sweet, nice and great person with a kind heart. And he’s completely adorable on top of everything. Who would want to walk away from a person that had the whole package? Chanyeol would never know. But he couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful that that person left so he could have the opportunity to make Kyungsoo happy, to have him feel nothing but complete and utter joy. He didn’t think he could bare it if he hurt the delicate person to such an extent it was unforgivable.
“Wait… you-are asking me, on a date?” Kyungsoo asked puzzledly, pointing to himself to make sure the male was actually speaking to him.
Chanyeol’s lips quirked up in a half smile, showing his adorable dimple and Kyungsoo thought he could swoon. “Yes, me, Chanyeol, is asking you, Kyungsoo, out on a date.”
The brunette was silent for a moment, thinking. On one hand, his heart was screaming yes. He really enjoyed the company the taller offered and it was like a breath of fresh every time they were together. But then on the other, his mind was reasoning not to rush. What if Chanyeol realized he didn’t like him like that after their date? Things would get awkward and he didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship over something so trivial.
But Kyungsoo was always one that followed his hearts desire.
“Um, okay.” He took a deep, shaky breath but quickly gained more confidence in his answer. “Yes, let’s go on a date. It should be fun.” Chanyeol looked like he’d literally went to the moon and back. His expression was priceless and Kyungsoo felt a bloom of warmth in his heart for being the cause of it.
--
They scheduled it to happen two days later. Kyungsoo was beyond excited, happy and animated for the date, but he was also nervous, anxious and scared of what it’d be like. What would they do? Chanyeol still hadn’t told him anything except to dress casually and be ready by 5PM. However, he didn’t mind. He actually anticipated it more from the mystery of it all.
It seemed time flew by in a flash because the next thing Kyungsoo knew, he was in his room, putting the finishing touches on his ‘casual’ outfit as he tried to think of a nice way to style his hair. Should he keep it down or give it an updo? Flipping his bangs on and off his forehead multiple times in the mirror helped him come to a conclusion. “Updo it is,” he muttered to himself. He had just dyed his hair a rich dark red a week prior and although he was totally digging it, he found he wasn’t exactly used to it yet. Chanyeol had said he looked good when they’d somehow bumped into each other at the café, which made him blush this way and that, before sputtering out a lame excuse to go and make someone’s order even though no one was in line. How embarrassing.
Just as he finished, the doorbell rang and promptly his heart rate picked up. He could feel his hands getting clammy and he felt a little hesitant to open the door. But, sucking in a big gulp of air, he rushed to the front door and opened it. As soon as he saw him, Kyungsoo was… speechless. The man looked absolutely flawless in black skinny’s that were ripped at the knees and a loose white v-neck shirt complete with high top black converse. His hair was parted to the side in a boyish manner that definitely fit his skater-ish style. But that wasn’t what left him speechless. It was what was poking out underneath the chest part of Chanyeol’s shirt. A tattoo. A tattoo that spread across the expanse of his chest in an almost necklace manner. He couldn’t tell what it said from the clothing blocking it from his view, but it was such a turn on, Kyungsoo had to look away for a second to catch his breath and slow his thoughts.
“You look great,” Chanyeol offered when Kyungsoo didn’t say anything but opted to turning his body away, hiding his face in his hands. The shorter was decked out in an outfit similar to his with dark blue skinny’s that hugged his body in all the right places, a red, white and blue unbuttoned flannel shirt (he had on an undershirt, don’t worry) and black vans. His new hair made him pop too. Chanyeol loved it.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo muttered out. “You-you too.” Chanyeol raised a brow, but nonetheless didn’t push his curiosity. “Ready to go?”
“Mhm, lemme just grab my keys real quick… okay?” Kyungsoo scurried back to where Chanyeol guess was his room. He took this as his time to quickly glance around the place. It was nice. Simple, but nice. There were pictures everywhere and Kyungsoo looked so happy in all of them. Chanyeol’s heart squeezed. Walking over to a table near the only window (which was huge and ran a length of the wall), Chanyeol continued to gaze at picture after picture, a smile gracing his features. There was one that stood out to him though. It was all the way in the back, seeming to be intentionally covered by the rest. There were two people in it. Kyungsoo and an unfamiliar boy. They were sitting at a what appeared to be a picnic table side-by-side and Kyungsoo had his arms hugged around the person who in turn, had one arm laying on Kyungsoo’s shoulders in a lazy but protective manner, holding up a peace sign with his other hand. They were both smiling brightly and Chanyeol could tell that was probably a beautiful day for Kyungsoo. He didn’t know what to feel. The guy was obviously someone special to the shorter and they were obviously happy together. Would he ever be like that with Kyungsoo? Who was the person anyway?
“Ahem.” Chanyeol spun around so fast, subtly trying to set the picture down in the process which, by some miracle, he was able to without giving himself away. “Ready?”
“Yup, let’s go.” Kyungsoo led them to the door, making sure to turn off the lights before opening it, gesturing for Chanyeol to walk out first. After taking one last sweep around, Kyungsoo closed the door softly behind him, beyond ready to start this date.
It turns out Chanyeol’s surprise came in the form of the annual beginning-of-the-summer carnival. And all Kyungsoo could say was, it was huge and packed. There were literally people everywhere and he was sure he’d somehow lose Chanyeol in the crowd, that is, until the taller took his hand securely, glancing down in amusement when Kyungsoo flushed red. They did a lot of things-got on rides, face painting, played little games that had Kyungsoo almost crying at the injustice of them and Chanyeol getting fed up with it and winning the game in one go. Kyungsoo felt like such a loser when those moments happened (which was almost every game he attempted to play) but would always brighten up when Chanyeol presented him with a little teddy bear as his reward for ‘at least trying’. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed before his stomach growled, erupting a heartfelt laugh out of Chanyeol. Kyungsoo tried to be angry, or at least annoyed, but seeing Chanyeol’s weird but cute laughing face only made him feel the exact opposite. They stopped to eat at a small restaurant that was a distance away from the carnival that wasn’t nearly as crowded as the first one they went to. Settling at a table for two, Chanyeol picked up a menu, scanning it over with his eyes and occasionally stealing glances at Kyungsoo who sat looking so innocent across from him.
Chanyeol could hear his heart begin to pound in his ears. Never had he felt this way toward someone in such a short amount of time. Yeah, he had lovers before, but none of them held a candle to his feelings for Kyungsoo. It was as if he was an angel sent from heaven, just for him. It was surreal and Chanyeol swore he’d wake up and it’d all have been a dream. But, dreams didn’t last forever, and it seemed his future with Kyungsoo would.
“Ready to order?” A waiter asked, drawing Chanyeol from his thoughts.
“Um, yeah. I’ll have some curly fries, large, and a coke. You?” He directed his attention to Kyungsoo, who was still looking over the menu.
“I’ll take a cheeseburger and some fries with a coke, please.” Kyungsoo smiled cutely at the waiter, who blushed, mumbling she’d be right back with their drinks. Chanyeol didn’t realize he was staring at the latter until he said, “What?” Kyungsoo shielded his face from Chanyeol’s view with his hands. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
“Huh? Like what?” Chanyeol asked quizzically.
Kyungsoo scoffed, though it came out muffled. “Oh you know how Park Chanyeol.”
“Take your hands off your face Soo,” Chanyeol lightly demanded. The shorter did as he was told. “Now staring at you how?”
Kyungsoo huffed. “I don’t know. You were just staring at me with this expression on your-” he abruptly cut himself off as he got this far away look in his eyes. It seemed he was looking at someone. Confused, Chanyeol followed Kyungsoo’s line of sight and was met with a familiar face. It was the boy who’d been in the photograph with Kyungsoo at the picnic table. He was with another person, a very pretty girl that had her arms wrapped loosely around his waist. It was clear they were dating from the smiles they sent each other that spoke volumes words can’t. Love. It was evident in every move they made that they were in love. Turning back to his date, Chanyeol noticed Kyungsoo’s eyes were clouded over in tears that looked ready to spill over any minute. “Kyungsoo?”
“I have to go to the bathroom.” He raised from his chair and not giving Chanyeol any time to answer, ran up to the cashier to ask for directions. Chanyeol was at a loss. He had no idea what just happened. Why did he react so strongly… then it clicked. The boyfriend Kyungsoo told Chanyeol about that one day a month or two ago. The boyfriend that told Kyungsoo he’d found someone else. The boyfriend that completely broke Kyungsoo’s heart. But, the boyfriend that gave him a chance with Kyungsoo. Without thinking, he also stood from his seat, completely abandoning the table to go look for the boy. He asked the cashier where the bathroom and was directed down a short hall where on the left side sat the door to the males room. He pushed it open and glanced around, finally hearing soft crying in the last one. He went to it unconsciously. It almost seemed like a beacon to him.
Knocking lightly, Chanyeol realized it was locked. “Kyungsoo, open up. It’s me.” He could hear sniffles and it broke his heart. He didn’t want Kyungsoo in pain now when it seemed he’d only just come back to life.
“Go,” he took a shuddery breath, “Away Chanyeol,” he finished weakly, beginning to gently cry all over again.
“Kyungsoo, please, open the door,” Chanyeol begged, feeling in slight agony. It hurt that Kyungsoo wouldn’t let him in because he wanted nothing more than to kiss his forehead and take all the pain away. “Please.” Chanyeol heard the lock click and he wasted no time swinging the door open and pulling Kyungsoo into his solid embrace. Kyungsoo couldn’t hold it in any longer, chest heaving with sobs and all the feelings he’d kept bottled up. He knew that he most likely ruined their date for crying but just seeing Jongin with someone else, someone else that wasn’t him, hurt like hell. It seemed those few seconds were all it took to bring him right back to where he was three months ago. In a black hole with no escape. No happiness. No nothing. He was so thankful to have Chanyeol, though. Because with the dimple endowed man by his side, he’s sure there wouldn’t have been any coming out of this one.
Kyungsoo held his arms tight around Chanyeol’s waist, burying his head in his chest and breathing in his comfortable scent that had the miracle of slowing his tears. He didn’t know how the other did it, but it was magical how just having Chanyeol arms around him calmed him down.
Letting out the last of his sniffles, Kyungsoo looked up at Chanyeol with apologetic eyes that also held admiration and thankfulness in them. He wanted nothing more than to lean up and press his lips to the tallers. It scared him, but he desired it, craved it. Wanted it more now than ever.
“Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol glimpsed down at him, hurt written all over his face. “Yeah?” He answered gruffly.
“Are you okay?”
Chanyeol sighed. “When you’re hurt, I’m hurt. When you’re happy, I’m happy. The most important question right now is, are you okay?”
“I’m… I don’t know.” He glanced down. “I don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” he replied honestly. Chanyeol nodded, loosening his hold but not letting go. “Wanna get out of here?” Appetite long gone, Kyungsoo shook his head yes but made no move to leave. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to go back out there and see Jongin happy with someone else. He wanted to stay here with Chanyeol, just like this, for the rest of eternity.
They did leave eventually, Kyungsoo hiding behind Chanyeol to make himself invisible to anyone who decided to look their way. When they finally made it out, Kyungsoo felt he could breath again. It was like he was suffocating as soon as he walked in.
After the whole charade in the restaurant, Chanyeol decided to take Kyungsoo home as he was sure the younger was tired from all the tear-shedding he did. And he was right. Kyungsoo had fallen asleep by the time they’d made it back to his building, resulting in Chanyeol having to carry him all the way to the apartment. He wasn’t fazed too much. Kyungsoo was pretty light. Once they got to the door, realization hit that he didn’t have the key and he cursed himself for not thinking to get it out of Kyungsoo’s pocket when they were still in the car. So, he took matters in his own hands. Literally. Chanyeol tried as best as he could, reaching his hands into Kyungsoo’s front pockets, only to come up with nothing. Back pockets then? Sure enough, he could feel the key sticking out in the right pocket of Kyungsoo’s jeans. “Oh, this is too embarrassing,” he said to himself as he stretched a hand into the pocket and successfully got out the key. Problem averted. Wait, nope. He still had to unlock the door. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He’s surprised the boy didn’t wake up from how much Chanyeol was jostling him in his struggles of trying to get into the damn house. It only took a good five minutes, but he eventually got the key in the keyhole and threw the door open. His arms were so tired at this point, he nearly dropped Kyungsoo at seeing the sight of his living room.
It was dark in the house and he’d only ever been in it a few hours ago so he didn’t exactly know the place at all. He wanted to hurry and get Kyungsoo to his room, on his bed, because his arms were starting to give out, and it’d be horrible if actually dropped the boy. It barely took him two minutes to find the bedroom and upon spotting the bed, immediately walked to it, setting Kyungsoo down a delicately as he could. Leaning up, he rested his hands on his hips, taking a deep breath. That was a work out indeed.
He was just about to leave when he heard a whisper so soft, it was barely swept away with the nonexist wind. “Where are you going?” Kyungsoo still laid with his eyes closed but it was clear he’d awoken from his short slumber. “Stay with me.”
Chanyeol felt conflicted. He was positive nothing would happen if he stayed but it was only so much he could do to restrain himself from prancing on the younger if the situation present itself. He didn’t want to feel like he’s rushing into things also. Most importantly, he didn’t want to be used as some one night stand (though it wouldn’t exactly be called that, Chanyeol didn’t know any other way to describe it) because Kyungsoo was feeling sad and lonely at that particular moment. But in the end, he relented and strided back over to the bed, settling down next to the shorter and turning so that he faced his beautiful face. Chanyeol reached a hand out to stroke his cheek and took notice in how Kyungsoo seemed to unconsciously lean into his touch. It made his heart soar. Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered open not to long later, gracing Chanyeol with his pulchritudinous smile. And he didn’t know when it happened, but suddenly, Kyungsoo’s lips were on his. They were immensely soft and luscious and he knew he would never get tired of them. Chanyeol rolled on top of Kyungsoo, taking complete dominance of the kiss, and it was then things began getting hotter, more sensual. Kyungsoo tilted his head, opening his mouth and Chanyeol wasted no time slipping his tongue in, erupting a soft moan out of Kyungsoo. He could feel himself becoming more and more aroused and knew it was time to stop before he’d really regret his decision on staying. Chanyeol pulled away first, trying to catch his breath all the while peppering Kyungsoo’s face with butterfly kisses. When he was satisfied, he rolled back over, dropping onto the bed with a slight thud. They were quiet for quite some time, the sexual tension raging in the air like an angry grey cloud hanging over them. They both wanted it, but they both knew it wasn’t the right time. Would it ever be?
Chanyeol didn’t get much sleep that night. He made a split second decision to stay when Kyungsoo nearly begged him not leave. They had cuddled, but nothing more. Chanyeol wished they did more. He wished more than he cared to admit. And from the looks Kyungsoo occasionally sent his way, it seemed he did too. He didn’t bring up the boy from the restaurant either, although he was highly inquisitive of who he really was. All Chanyeol had was merely his conclusions and even if it pained him to see Kyungsoo hurt, he knew he’d have to ask him sooner or later. But the more he thought about it, the more he sensed not asking at all was best. The past was the past, and he was certain he’d be Kyungsoo’s future.
--
It was exactly one month after their first date that Chanyeol asked Kyungsoo to be his boyfriend. And it was the same day they made love to each other for the first time. Kyungsoo swore he was the happiest soul on the planet. Something was finally going right for him, and he’d be damned if he lost it again.
--
They’d eventually decided it was be best if Kyungsoo moved out of his apartment. It held too many memories he’d rather not remember as they’d only hurt his heart. He was excited to be living with Chanyeol. It was one step away from the past he was willing to take. It was a fresh start.
--
It had been a very long day, yet Kyungsoo couldn’t fall asleep for the life of him. For hours, he’d sat hunched over his desk, pouring his eyes over textbooks and websites. He’d been studying abundantly as there was a huge test coming up in a few days and even if he was confident he wouldn’t fail, he also wanted to do very good on it. Kyungsoo never settled for average. He always aimed for the best. But as tired as he complained relentlessly to Chanyeol he was, he couldn’t doze off. At all.
Chanyeol was on his left, snoring softly into his pillow and Kyungsoo could only sigh as he positioned his body so that he was facing the taller. Gazing at his sleeping face made Kyungsoo feel a burst of affection in his chest for the boy. He loved him. He really did. The man was literally everything he could ask for and more. “I love you, Chanyeol,” he whispered to the empty air.
Unbeknownst to him, his eyes closed and he’d finally slipped into a deep sleep.
He woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Instinctively, panic rose up in his throat, that is, until a yellow sticky note resting on Chanyeol’s pillow caught his attention. Snatching it up, Kyungsoo’s eyes scanned over it quickly before letting out a relieved breath.
Good morning beautiful~ Just wanted to let you know not to panic since I know you will. I went out to grab some things for breakfast. We really have to go to the grocery
store T.T I’ll be back soon, kay? Love you!
-Chanyeol
Kyungsoo chuckled as he slowly leaned back on the bed. He thought he’d almost have a heart attack if Chanyeol hadn’t left anything. It seemed he still had some leftover exhaustion from yesterday as he could feel himself falling back asleep, but right before he was completely dead, this eyes shot open. Why, he wasn’t sure himself, but something was telling him to go in the living room and turn on the TV, which is exactly what he did.
It was on the news.
Apparently there’d just been a terrible car accident and from the pictures that popped up on the screen, it was clear the people involved would have a long recovery ahead of them. But then the news anchor said something that sparked Kyungsoo’s mind.
“Report says that an innocent bystander was also involved. It seems the man was on his way back from a local grocery store when the accident happened. He was crossing the street, witnesses say, and apparently didn’t notice the cars coming toward him. He’d been hit and doctors aren’t sure if he’d survive this one.”
He didn’t need a name. He already knew who it was.
Kyungsoo felt his face drain of any emotion. Numb, that was what he was right now. “No, no, no, no!” Kingsley started barking, and the woman on TV continued talking and it was making Kyungsoo feel like the walls were closing in on him. He couldn’t break down now. It wasn’t the time nor place to do so. Running to the front door, he pulled on the first pair of shoes he saw, not caring that he was still in his sleepwear, and bolted out the door, one person on his mind.
Making it to the hospital, he nearly fainted trying to catch his breath. It’d been a far stretch from where they lived but he didn’t care. If it concerned Chanyeol, all logic went out the window. He doesn’t think he could bear it if anything happened to his beloved.
Kyungsoo looked around frantically for anyone, a doctor or nurse, that’d take him back to his boyfriend. He had to see him. He just had to. Spotting a woman carrying a tray full of cups of what he assumed was water, Kyungsoo sprinted over to her, taking a hold of her shoulder to get her attention.
“Excuse me, I need help,” Kyungsoo stated, trying to calm his nerves. His heart was pounding fast against his rib cage and he thought he’d pass out any minute if he didn’t get back there to see Chanyeol.
“What is it?” She asked, soothingly, worry laced in her tone.
“Park-Chanyeol. He’s-he’s back there. I have to see him,” he explained, stumbling over his words.
“Park Chanyeol… Oh, I’m sorry sir, you can’t. The doctors are working on him right now. No one’s allowed back there yet.” Kyungsoo wanted to pull his hair out in frustration. He knew he was close to losing it, no matter how hard he tried to keep himself under control.
“I don’t think you understand. I have to get back there! Chanyeol needs me!”
“Sir, calm down. Why don’t I go get you some tea to loosen up your nerves? How does that sound?”
Kyungsoo gave her an incredulous look, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. “Do I want any tea!? Are you crazy!? My boyfriend’s back there dying and you’re asking me if I want tea!?” He couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t care anymore. Running away, he attempted to run to the huge double doors that held his helpless boyfriend but as soon as his hands touched the handle, the doors swung open, nearly smacking him in the face if he didn’t move back in time.
“Is there anyone here for Park Chanyeol?” The doctor asked, looking around the rather packed waiting room. Kyungsoo immediately rushed foreword, tears already falling down his cheeks. “Me! I’m his boyfriend, Do Kyungsoo!”
The doctor gave him a grim look. “Is there any family?”
“I’m not sure they’ve been notified yet that their son’s in the hospital, sir,” a nurse said beside him, a mask covering the lower half of her face.
“Well do it now,” he ordered, then, with a sigh, turned his attention to Kyungsoo. “Mr. Do, I’m so sorry-”
“No!” Kyungsoo shrieked. He felt his heart stop entirely. His world was crumbling around his feet again, except this was a million times worse. It can’t be true. He can’t be… dead. He can’t be gone. He can’t give up so easily. It’s not in his nature. Chanyeol was back there in his room, recovering from the accident. He’s still here and alive.
“We tried as best as we could but, he lost too much blood on the way to the hospital and it was nearly impossible for him to make it. I’m really sorry.”
“You didn’t try! If you did, he’d still be alive! He can’t be gone. He just can’t…” Kyungsoo dropped down to his knees, bringing his head to his hands, covering his tear streaked face. His shoulders shook from how hard he was sobbing. The doctor reached down to pat the lad on the shoulder but Kyungsoo jerked away from his touch. He didn’t want anyone to touch him. He was too far gone to care about comfort. He just wanted to hurt. “He can’t be gone. He couldn’t have given up so easily,” he whispered raspily, brokenly. “It’s not fair! Take me instead,” he prayed. “Bring him back and take me. I don’t care, just bring him back.”
Kyungsoo didn’t know how long he’d been curled up on the floor, but suddenly, he couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t see nor feeling a thing. Nothing.
And then he was falling.
--
Kyungsoo woke up in a cold sweat. He swore he’d just had the strangest dream but couldn’t recall a thing no matter how hard he tried. It was daylight by the time he woke up, the sun peeking into their slightly opened curtains. He thought he might as well get started on breakfast since he was the better cook of the house (but he won’t be admitting that to Chanyeol any time soon). Trudging into the kitchen, Kyungsoo looked for anything he could use to cook a nice morning meal but came up empty handed. Quietly tiptoeing back into their room, Kyungsoo threw on some clothes, not really caring about his appearance since he figured everyone was probably sleeping in. It was a Saturday, after all. He reasoned he should just go to the small market up the road to grab something quick as he’s sure Chanyeol’s expecting a full course meal after the long week he’d had. Searching around in his nightstand drawer he found a stack of yellow sticky notes and a pen. After writing a small note incase Chanyeol woke up and he wasn’t there, he placed it on his pillow, leaning over to give the taller a peck on the cheek before making his way back to the front of the house. Kyungsoo slipped on a pair of flip flops since the autumn air had yet to kick in and, grabbing his keys and a light pullover, was out the door.
It was a beautiful day. We should do something today, Kyungsoo thought with a nod of his head. He’d just left the market, only one bag hanging in his hands. He didn’t want to get too much, though he was very tempted with all the food surrounding him. He found himself in a fantastic mood and began whistling a tune as he crossed the street.
“Hey watch out!” Someone called behind him.
He really wished he would’ve looked both ways that time. He really wished he would've reacted quicker. He really wished he could tell Chanyeol one last time that he loved him.
The cars were rolling closer, quicker than he ever would’ve imagine. Everything seemed surreal in that moment, honestly. A single tear dropped from his eye and then everything went black.
--
“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said one evening as they were cuddled up on the couch watching a marathon of Lord of the Rings. It was all Chanyeol’s idea and despite the fact that Kyungsoo found the movies to be rather boring, he couldn’t say no to the pout the taller unconsciously gave at the sight of Kyungsoo’s hesitant face.
“Yeah?”
“What’s the tattoo on your chest say?”
The other was silent. “Me sauver,” he answered after a while.
“What does that mean?”
“Save me. It’s French.”
Kyungsoo squinted his eyes in confusion. “Why’d you get that? Did you need someone to save you?” He lightly teased.
Chanyeol peered down at him, something strange in his eyes that somehow spoke volumes. “I did.” Then softly added, “And you were the one to do it.”