Friends: Not all of them, but quite a few of them kinda suck
My life. It is unlike most other people's lives I think. Which is just about what everyone else in the world can or does say. It makes me wonder what makes me special. The only few answers I can really give are that my location, name, and accomplishments are different from the others. Of course, not many people can say that they've ridden their bicycle to Colorado. :p
Of course, I have been musing a lot about what I am going to pursue with my life lately. I did think that I would have a better idea of it after I got back from my journey, and of course that seems to be far from the reality. If anything, I've only added more to my possible list with doing something athletically related. That may seem strange, but hear me out here.
I have a really good athletic ability. I may have never really obtained my potential, but the more I look at it, I have a really high potential. If I really hardcore work toward that, I think I might stand a good chance in a running or cycling competition. Of course I am a runner by nature, but I've got some good biking credentials. My only running credentials are that I can run about eight miles before I start dying.
Then there's still the toss up between teaching and actually pursuing being a psychologist. I'm still in the same exact place with that as I was before. Life hasn't really thrown me a clue on any of this yet. Some sort of sign would be nice, but I completely understand that not happening.
I'm indubitably thinking way too much about these concepts. Even after somewhat considering a motto of less thinking more doing, there's still too much thinking in my life. My life. My life. It's my life. Keep it to yourself, it's my life. I wonder if the music I'm listening to is influencing my post (I was just listening to Billy Joel's My Life).
They still do relate though. My over thinking has put me into somewhat of a rut. A somewhat different one from what I was in last summer in that it's not as extreme, yet still with the same basis. What has bothering me more than anything lately is friends. I'm figuring out that I have some pretty terrible friends. Not only that, but I don't have a two in the morning person. That would be someone who I can call at any time regardless of the problem and have them help me out, talk through the problem, etc.
I can't count how many times I've flipped open my phone, gone through my contact looking for someone to talk to because I really felt the need to talk to someone, and then closed the phone with a feeling of emptiness coming over me. You would think I could talk to the person I call my best friend about everything, but that is sadly not the case. I actually find I can barely talk to him at times. Granted, I have been talking to him a good deal lately; however none of that has really been about me. It's all different talks and rants about politics, pop-culture (ew), etc.
In all honesty, it leaves me with an empty feeling inside me, the feeling of emptiness being something like the opposite of having butterflies in the stomach. I experience this because I want someone to talk to. I really really do. It is incredibly essential it's not the wrong person though. Someone who's apathetic to my plight or me, annoyed with me, or turns around and talks to everyone about some things I say are all wrong.
I'm sure some people are going to turn around here and say, "You can talk to me!" or something to that extent. Yes. Sure. I can. I'm not saying you're bad friends (maybe you are; maybe you aren't. It depends on who you are). I don't think you're my two in the morning friend. I could be wrong, but like I said, I don't feel like I have that friend.
Enough about friends though. I don't feel like talking about them anymore. I am instead going to fill you in on my latest novel. It's doesn't exist. Moving on.
I'm 23 years old now! Hurray! One year older, one year wiser, etc. I'm pretty bummed out though. I had a terrible birthday this year...just like last year. I got ragged on and poked at a whole lot, which of course was all in good fun, but it got to me after awhile. I can deal with a bit of it, I'm no softy. This was the whole day though, and it was not really counterbalanced too much with bringing me up. By the end of the day, I just wanted everyone to get the heck away from me so that I could be as far from people as possible. No one even sang me happy birthday until just about an hour or so ago - a good day or so after my birthday. No cake. No cheesecake specifically...
Everyone was at Otakon, and they were all clearly way too busy having fun to remember my birthday. I can kind of understand that, but it still bothered me. My wish count was at an all time low, and to give you an idea of how low, here's my count of birthday wishes. One birthday text - from my mom of all people. One birthday call from my friend Brandon, which also happened to have another person wishing me happy birthday as well. Eight people coming in person and wishing me a happy birthday. About twenty Facebook b-day wishes.
I've had birthdays where I'm getting texts and calls all day and almost have to ignore my phone so that I can be in my festivities. What happened here? I felt very forgotten.
I did get a really nice present though. My friend Victor is awesome. He was pretty much the sunshine of my birthday because he is a really nice guy, and he got me some nice Bose headphones, which I really could not believe. Granted, I really expect nothing from anyone. Birthday presents really are not a necessity, but he was one of the people who did do some bringing me up on the day. I'm sad he could only stick around for the Mongolian Grill.
Wow, this is a long post. It also has a depressing or even emo feel to it. I'll have to make it a little longer and balance this out a wee bit. I do have some good news after all. Right? Right? OF COURSE I DO! Well, only a little bit that I can think of right now. Maybe my next post will be positive to make up for this one. As I was saying, a little bit.
I'm in really good shape. It might not show, but my endurance is pretty incredible. I had never ran more than five miles before I left on my journey, and the most I've managed lately is eight, and I've really been slacking a good deal in my training. I really want to reach something close to my potential and see how incredible my body really is. I know how it was on my journey. I know it can still get way better
Of course, I have been musing a lot about what I am going to pursue with my life lately. I did think that I would have a better idea of it after I got back from my journey, and of course that seems to be far from the reality. If anything, I've only added more to my possible list with doing something athletically related. That may seem strange, but hear me out here.
I have a really good athletic ability. I may have never really obtained my potential, but the more I look at it, I have a really high potential. If I really hardcore work toward that, I think I might stand a good chance in a running or cycling competition. Of course I am a runner by nature, but I've got some good biking credentials. My only running credentials are that I can run about eight miles before I start dying.
Then there's still the toss up between teaching and actually pursuing being a psychologist. I'm still in the same exact place with that as I was before. Life hasn't really thrown me a clue on any of this yet. Some sort of sign would be nice, but I completely understand that not happening.
I'm indubitably thinking way too much about these concepts. Even after somewhat considering a motto of less thinking more doing, there's still too much thinking in my life. My life. My life. It's my life. Keep it to yourself, it's my life. I wonder if the music I'm listening to is influencing my post (I was just listening to Billy Joel's My Life).
They still do relate though. My over thinking has put me into somewhat of a rut. A somewhat different one from what I was in last summer in that it's not as extreme, yet still with the same basis. What has bothering me more than anything lately is friends. I'm figuring out that I have some pretty terrible friends. Not only that, but I don't have a two in the morning person. That would be someone who I can call at any time regardless of the problem and have them help me out, talk through the problem, etc.
I can't count how many times I've flipped open my phone, gone through my contact looking for someone to talk to because I really felt the need to talk to someone, and then closed the phone with a feeling of emptiness coming over me. You would think I could talk to the person I call my best friend about everything, but that is sadly not the case. I actually find I can barely talk to him at times. Granted, I have been talking to him a good deal lately; however none of that has really been about me. It's all different talks and rants about politics, pop-culture (ew), etc.
In all honesty, it leaves me with an empty feeling inside me, the feeling of emptiness being something like the opposite of having butterflies in the stomach. I experience this because I want someone to talk to. I really really do. It is incredibly essential it's not the wrong person though. Someone who's apathetic to my plight or me, annoyed with me, or turns around and talks to everyone about some things I say are all wrong.
I'm sure some people are going to turn around here and say, "You can talk to me!" or something to that extent. Yes. Sure. I can. I'm not saying you're bad friends (maybe you are; maybe you aren't. It depends on who you are). I don't think you're my two in the morning friend. I could be wrong, but like I said, I don't feel like I have that friend.
Enough about friends though. I don't feel like talking about them anymore. I am instead going to fill you in on my latest novel. It's doesn't exist. Moving on.
I'm 23 years old now! Hurray! One year older, one year wiser, etc. I'm pretty bummed out though. I had a terrible birthday this year...just like last year. I got ragged on and poked at a whole lot, which of course was all in good fun, but it got to me after awhile. I can deal with a bit of it, I'm no softy. This was the whole day though, and it was not really counterbalanced too much with bringing me up. By the end of the day, I just wanted everyone to get the heck away from me so that I could be as far from people as possible. No one even sang me happy birthday until just about an hour or so ago - a good day or so after my birthday. No cake. No cheesecake specifically...
Everyone was at Otakon, and they were all clearly way too busy having fun to remember my birthday. I can kind of understand that, but it still bothered me. My wish count was at an all time low, and to give you an idea of how low, here's my count of birthday wishes. One birthday text - from my mom of all people. One birthday call from my friend Brandon, which also happened to have another person wishing me happy birthday as well. Eight people coming in person and wishing me a happy birthday. About twenty Facebook b-day wishes.
I've had birthdays where I'm getting texts and calls all day and almost have to ignore my phone so that I can be in my festivities. What happened here? I felt very forgotten.
I did get a really nice present though. My friend Victor is awesome. He was pretty much the sunshine of my birthday because he is a really nice guy, and he got me some nice Bose headphones, which I really could not believe. Granted, I really expect nothing from anyone. Birthday presents really are not a necessity, but he was one of the people who did do some bringing me up on the day. I'm sad he could only stick around for the Mongolian Grill.
Wow, this is a long post. It also has a depressing or even emo feel to it. I'll have to make it a little longer and balance this out a wee bit. I do have some good news after all. Right? Right? OF COURSE I DO! Well, only a little bit that I can think of right now. Maybe my next post will be positive to make up for this one. As I was saying, a little bit.
I'm in really good shape. It might not show, but my endurance is pretty incredible. I had never ran more than five miles before I left on my journey, and the most I've managed lately is eight, and I've really been slacking a good deal in my training. I really want to reach something close to my potential and see how incredible my body really is. I know how it was on my journey. I know it can still get way better