(no subject)

Jan 28, 2006 13:13

Noone understands and maybe noone cares,but I am losing Brandi, I am relativly sure she is at least mildly interested in someone else, I cant blame her she hardly gets to see me or talk to me. She wants to go to the night parade tonight...not with me, with her friends, I asked her not to go if I couldnt go, she told me basically that she was gonna do it whether I wanted her to or not, so I guess I am not important or something. ts not safe out there and I am gonna be worried sick all night tonight, but I kno in the morning if se goes, I will never be able to speak to her again, god this is killing me, I feel like I am going to throw up, and to add insult to injur so to speak, colie might be going too then I lose both of them, then I will just have to die. I know what goes on at the night parade and outside of the safty factor three is the jealousy factor, Brandi has no problem flashing guys or flirting with guys for drinks, so everytime I look at her after i would get that same feeling I used to get in the pit of my stomache. god wy does this always happen I want to be with Brandi forever, and she s willing to give it all up of some stupid parade, cuz she thinks I am trying to "dictate her life"

all i want right now is to die, I just want someone to kill me make this hurt inside stop, why does she always hurt me, why is she able to be so casual about us breaking up? does she really not care?
I asked her if she was still in love with me, she said I love you but I dont know if Iam in love with you...I want to slit my wrists everytime hear this and it keeps echoing in my head

if she decides we are over, then I dont know what I will do, but I will make a horrible human being tonight, did I mention I just want to be dead right now?
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