Shifting attention
Title: Shifting attention
Rating: PG-13 (more for implication of sexual situations)
Disclaimer: Owning humans are illegal in most parts of the world (and I can't afford their fabulousness)
Word Count: 3,600
Pairings: Sakumoto
Summary: Sho makes a deal with Jun.
Notes: This takes place in the AU!au. There are also a lot of food scenes for some reason. This is also unbeta-ed, just a warning. Made for the sakumoto contest.
"So we have a deal?" asked Matsumoto with crooked grin. "You sleep with me, or I tell poor Kobayashi Mao-chan that you're cheating on her with Kato Ai."
"I'm not! I swear we just had dinner!" yelled a much panicked Sho. It was useless from what he could tell. His palms were sweating, lips twitching and if that wasn't enough of a give away, Sho didn't dare look Jun in the eye.
Matsumoto leaned back in his seat, staring at Sho through his bangs. "Why bring her to an expansive hotel restaurant for 'just dinner'?"
"I haven't seen her for a while! She's a nice girl, but we're not-"
"It's fine to bring her to the restaurant, but don't think I didn't see you bring her upstairs afterwards."
Sho met Matsumoto Jun about a month ago through Aiba. In actuality, it was more like he met Jun through Nino who was introduced to him by Aiba.
Aiba and Sho literally ran into each other one day he was running to get to his meeting while Aiba was trying to order a soda from the vending machine. After many apologies and a free Calpis for Aiba, Sho missed his meeting while listening to recipe ideas for making mabo doufu bread. Soon they were having lunch together when Sho had time to leave the office. Thankfully none of those lunches involved said mabo doufu bred.
Later Aiba brought Nino, a loyal milk bread customer, to their little lunch sessions. Partly because he wanted Sho to meet Nino, mostly because Nino wanted a free lunch. He thought Nino was pretty cute in the bratty, little brother way (and too easily reminded him of his own younger brother) and paid for his cheese hamburger once or twice. In exchange, Nino would perform little magic tricks and throw snarky comments at Aiba.
One Friday lunch, Nino invited Sho to karaoke with a friend of his. Nino told him that he recently went through a break up after his girlfriend found a new boyfriend while studying aboard. When he arrived at the bar, the businessman also brought his stock broker friend, Ohno Satoshi who Nino immediately latched his claws into. Suffice to say the other three had fun screaming into the mike Ultraman songs and Avril Lagvine.
There in the corner was Matsumoto Jun, the reason why Sho was there. He was pretty stylish, as one could expect from someone's whose interest lay in the arts. Long lashes, beauty marks strategically placed on his face, and unreasonably pale skin; had Matsumoto been a girl, he would have been Sho's type.
Although, Sho did have a girlfriend living with him in their humble one room apartment. Her name was Kobayashi Mao, a journalist training to be a meteorologist. She's the kind of girl you can bring home to your parents. The kind that remembers to take the laundry from the balcony when you forget. The kind one can seriously consider marrying after more than two years of dating.
Now, had Matsumoto been a girl, he probably couldn't take him home to his parents. What would his parents want with a trombone player? Or anyone who had no interest in the current state of the Nikkei. That was not the type of person they would approve of Sho dating, nor the type he would want to date. He made a point to converse with Matsumoto and couldn't keep his eyes off of him for the entire session.
Big mistake.
Sho had the unfortunate trait of being especially nice to everyone regardless of their personality or situation. He also recently acquired the tendency to be too nice. It was not entirely his fault, of course. Mao-chan and he had an argument, which meant she was staying at her mother's and he was alone in the apartment for two weeks. He couldn't remember what the argument was about, but he knew it was probably his fault.
That's when he was approached by his old college underclassman, Kato Ai. The both of them studied in economics during their time at Keio, but when she graduated she returned to her hometown in Nagoya to find work. During Sho's second year and her first, they had a relationship that lasted for two years and ended with the two of them being too busy for each other. It turned out that now they were working for sister companies and in celebration of their reunion they went out to dinner together at that same hotel they held the meeting in...and later went back to her room to continue "celebrating."
The next day, deathly hung-over and an upset with himself, Sho received a call. Without realizing he picked up the phone without checking the I.D. he answered with a grumbled, “Hello?"
"Sakurai?" said the voice on the other end. It was male, Sho was sure, but he really couldn't make out who it was.
"Yes? Sorry I'm not feeling to well." There was a giggle on the other end that Sho was sure he heard only recently. "Matsumoto?"
"Yes. I was hoping we could talk. Come meet me in the Sunshine City Mall."
"Now? I'm sorry, but I'm really not feeling too well and-..."
"It's about Kato Ai."
Within thirty minutes, Sho drove to the other side of Tokyo, not even bothering to check whether his clothes matched or if his hair was in the least bit decent.
"Why do I have to sleep with you?" Sho whispered head ducked down partly because he was angry, mostly because of his major hangover. How was Sho supposed to notice that Matsumoto was playing in the live band during dinner that night?
"You might be boring, but you are also seriously hot. I haven't had sex in months because of Keiko shacking it up with some basketball player and you are obviously frustrated to do it with someone like Kato." Matsumoto slurped the last of his pasta carbonara and lightly dabbed his lips with a napkin, almost as if he wasn't talking about such a risqué subject in such a public place.
"You know her?"
"Yeah, she went out with my friend Toma for a while. Anyway that's beside the point. You seem more worried about having sex with me than with having sex with a guy so I figure you're okay with that. Am I right?" Sho didn't deny it. After all, he went to college.
The businessman sighed in resignation. He looked up to face Matsumoto with whatever dignity he had left. It wasn't that the other man wasn't attractive. Like he thought that night during karaoke, Matsumoto was strikingly handsome in a feminine way. Even now it was hard to resist his teasing eyes and glossy lips.
"Can't we compromise? I can pay you whatever you want. Musicians need money right?" Sho whined. The musician sipped his blood orange juice while staring at the man. The minutes ticked away, Sho silently thinking of a thousand ways to apologize Mao-chan.
"Fine," he said, putting down his drink. Sho let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and reached for his wallet.
"Great. How much?"
"I don't need your money."
"BUT YOU JUST SAID-!"
"Stop yelling I won't fuck you." Sho squeaked. "Kiss me. Just one small kiss and I'll forget about this."
It's been weeks since Sho and Jun (when did he become Jun?) kissed in the shady corner outside of the mall. Nervous, quivering lips slid delicately against firm, full lips. His hands grabbed Jun by the shoulders just in case he pulled the other man's face closer. The kiss was like sunshine, hot and pleasantly heavy. Jun ran his tongue against Sho's lower lip, but didn't enter the other's mouth. It was more inquisitive and, for some strange reason, a bit heartbreaking. Since then, Sho also has not spoken to him.
Kobayashi still hasn't returned to the apartment. While Sho could keep the place clean (somewhat), he hasn't really touched the kitchen since her disappearance. He tried to make instant noodles for himself and ended up burning the bowl. To prevent other potential kitchen hazards, Sho bought bento boxes from Nino's convenience store. Unfortunately, he picked up an expired one and got food poisoning. He lay uncomfortably in his bed; bucket in hand ready to heave yesterday's lunch with that morning's breakfast.
The door bell rang suddenly and while Sho did not want anyone to see him, he opened the door out of habit.
"I heard you were sick," said Jun after he took off his shoes. Sho didn't have the strength to push him out and simply moved aside. Jun shoved his way into the kitchen, Sho slowly shuffling behind him, clutching is poor stomach. He plopped on his sofa, bringing his knees up to his chest with Jun swiftly working in his kitchen.
Minutes later, Jun came out with a bowl of rice porridge for the sick man. He placed the bowl on the table in front of the sofa and helped Sho to sit up. The two didn't talk while he spoon-fed Sho. The businessman accepted the food without a fight and even drank the smelly unknown Chinese herbal tea Jun shoved down his throat. Sho felt warm when Jun pulled the blankets over his form, tucked the edges under him, placed the emptied bucket within easy reach, and brushed the stray strands from his forehead.
"Thanks," Sho muttered.
"Just sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Kobayashi didn't call.
He waited outside of Ebisu Station's East Exit. Kobayashi was supposed to be there a while ago, but she was late. It wasn't like her to be late, but Sho didn't mind waiting He loved her and wasn't going to let their relationship be torn apart by a petty argument neither party could remember. Kato left for Nagoya a while back to return to her fiancée. She admitted to Sho later that their late-night tryst was her last hurrah before married life and she promised to keep it secret if he did. Sho was sure that Jun would too.
When Kobayashi arrived, she wasn't smiling like Sho expected. Was she still mad? Was he too early? Were the flowers not good enough? Questions rang through his mind, trying to find a reason for her grim expression.
They didn't speak to each other aside from a "hello" until they sat down to order their food. She ordered a salad and ice tea, he ordered a sandwich and Coke. The atmosphere was thick and suffocating, but Sho still had hope that this just meant they were going to get back together. He loved her; it should be enough, right?
Right?
"I don't think we are working out," Kobayashi said. Sho dropped his napkin.
"Wha-why? I thought- I thought we were okay. Sure you didn't call but-~"
"You didn't call either."
"Was I supposed to? I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if I should make the first move-~"
"It's not just that Sho." She looked up at him with those doe eyes that made his heart melt for her. "I love you, I do. And I'm sure you love me-"
"I do!" he said, voice wavering.
"See," she sighed. "You still can't say it. There are just some things that I need from you that you can't give me."
"What is it? I-I'll do anything!" She shook her head and picked up her fork.
"You know, I interviewed a musician friend of yours. Matsumoto Jun?"
Sho's eyes widened. He couldn't believe he trusted Jun. Kissing him just wasn't enough was it? He had to ruin his relationship, didn't he? What did Sho ever do to him?
Kobayashi continued, "I didn't know you knew him, but he knew me. He started asking about me. And he told me," Sho began to sweat. "That you missed me."
"Huh? I mean, yes of course!" She gave a sad smile.
"He told me you got sick and he had to care for you. That I should have called. Should have cared. And that made me realize-"
No.
"We just are not good for each other." Sho slammed his hands on the table.
"Just one fight! Just one fight and we break up? After all this time?" The waiter that was about to refill their drinks backed away.
"It's not just that," she whispered so low that Sho wouldn't have heard her if he didn't try. Her eyes turned red and watery when she looked at him "I met up with someone. While I was at my mother's. He isn't you. He's not too smart. He isn't nearly as talented as you. But he treats me differently from you. I can't tell you why or how, but I like it. I cheated on you. And I don't regret it."
The clanking of utensils on dishes, the murmur of conversation, and the swinging of the kitchen door went ignored by Sho. He could only hear his heartbeat slowing, beating mournfully.
"When Matsumoto told me that you loved me still, I knew you were a great guy." She let out a small sob. "And you were too good for a girl like me."
Sho returned to the apartment that night and cocooned himself underneath the sheets. It didn't smell like her anymore. It stopped smelling like her for a few weeks, but Sho desperately inhaled her pillow.
The door opened to Sho's apartment, but he didn't move from his bed. It's been three months since Kobayashi moved and he knew only one other person had the key to his apartment.
"Sho? I've got dinner so get outta bed!"
Jun. Since the break-up, he's been helping Sho cope living alone by occasionally invading his apartment to cook or clean. He's been a comfortable presence in the lonely space of the apartment. All of Kobayashi's furniture and clothes have been moved out and in its place were Jun's instrument cleaners and sweatshirts.
Sho groaned into his pillow, but knew better than to argue with Jun when he's with cooking implements. Frying pan burns are awkward and painful. He heaved himself up and trudged to his kitchen, watching the younger man bustle around making pasta something-or-other. Unlike when Kobayashi cooked, Jun liked an audience and often did tricks with the food like flipping it higher than necessary to flambé something in front of Sho. Jun also took care to make his food was nicely decorated unlike Kobayashi, who simply put it on a nice plate. There was also more food with Jun than with the calorie conscious Kobayashi. It wasn't that Jun didn't care about his weight, but rather made healthier food that Sho didn't mind eating (not that Sho particularly disliked any food.)
"Can I practice here?" asked Jun while straining the pasta. "I have show in two days."
"Sure." Sho never refused him, but he always asked. Sho liked listening to Jun practice. He wasn't a fan of the trombone, but he liked music and Jun did play well. Sometimes he didn't even play the trombone, using Sho's unused keyboard to practice some pieces for recitals. It made better background music than Kobayashi's melodramatic TV shows that have rich guys arguing with poor girls over necklaces.
Life without Kobayashi was hard, but Jun made it bearable. One bowl of pasta at a time.
Aoyama was full of sales that day so Aiba and Sho went shopping. They had similar tastes in clothes and Aiba was sure that Sho was in need of a man-date. The two were walking down the street, bumping shoulders and smiling. He was finally over Kobayashi and getting some fresh air.
"What about Jun?" Sho laughed. Shop-therapy was not just meant for girls.
"No," Aiba said. "That's a date-date. This is a man-date! Between man-friends."
"And Jun is?"
"You're new girlfriend. Well, more like the girl you go on dates with, but aren't dating."
"Does that even make sense?"
"He has your house key doesn't he?" At that moment, Jun text him to pick up milk, we're out.
They weren't dating, Sho was sure.
"SPF 50 sound okay?" Sho asked Ohno. The businessman finally convinced him to buy sunscreen for his fishing days, partially because it was disturbing Sho, mostly because it was disturbing Nino. The two were inside a drug store they passed by on the way to work, looking through the cosmetics section. Sho knew next to nothing about make-up and Ohno probably knew even less. They settled on something one of the store clerks recommended and walked out of the store faster than they expected.
"What's that?" Ohno asked, pointing to Sho's bag. Sho lifted the bag that contained a bottle.
"Jun's favorite shampoo. He says he hates using mine when he stays over so I thought I'd buy him one."
"Hmmm." Ohno lightly nodded.
"What's that for?"
"Nothing."
"Really?"
"I know Nino's favorite shampoo too. Maybe I should buy him some. Be a good boyfriend."
Why did everyone think Sho and Jun were dating? Really there was no precedence behind it. Even when Jun hugged Sho around the waist, mostly wet and naked from the shower after seeing the expensive shampoo. And Sho smelling Jun's clean body as he pressed close was not strange in the slightest.
They weren't dating, but that didn't make watching Jun have lunch with another person less heartbreaking. It was late and Sho was working overtime to make up for the terrible job he did after his breakup. There was a classy restaurant that Sho has always wanted to try out next to his office so he decided to walk by the window to see what the food looked like.
He didn't expect to see Jun, casually eating a fillet minion with another good looking man, casually drinking wine. He was smiling and laughing and his eyes had that glitter that Sho's only seen when he gave Jun a bouquet after his recital. Jun was happy and glittering and Sho wasn't the cause. Not that it mattered to Sho.
That night, Sho not only ignored all of Jun's calls and mails, but it was the first time since he got the apartment that he used the chain lock when Jun tried to force the door in.
The apartment was back to being a mess and Sho was back to eating convenience store meals. Jun hadn't stopped by in a week, probably out of respect for Sho. Calls were left on his home answering machine and voice mail on his phone was completely full. The mails made awkward vibrating sounds in his desk drawer that Sho had to explain to his boss. It was tough avoiding a man who was in your life nearly everyday for a year.
It was tiring and Sho didn't even know why he was upset. He only knew that he was upset and that Jun meant too much to him at this point. That if Jun came up to him right now, he could never let go. That this was almost as hard, if not harder than letting go of Kobayashi. And this was only after one year.
The autumn night was cold and lonely on the way home for him. His legs were heavy sacks of sand, slowly sinking into the ground with every step. The air around him was stale, leaving Sho lightly gasping for breath. He was tired, exhausted, but most of all confused.
"Sho?" He turned around and came face-to-face with the man he has been trying to avoid. Sho couldn't look him in the eye. Not yet at least.
"Sho, please," Jun said. He was slightly out of breath, which meant he had ditched orchestra practice early. "Please listen to me." Sho made no move so Jun continued. "He was just an old friend of mine. I played in the orchestra during his performance of Caligula. His name is Oguri Shun. He's an actor, just a friend I promise-Sho! Please, please believe me."
Sho looked up. Jun's cheeks were red from the biting frost and he was struggling to hold his trombone, his day bag, and another convenience store bag. His eyes were desperate and his voice was beginning to waver. "He was asking me to play at his wedding. He's getting married next month. Will you come with me then? As my friend?"
"...no." Jun's face fell, and his knees buckled causing him to fall. Sho dropped his bags and caught the man in his arms.
"I don't beg, and please don't make me anymore, but I swear I-" Sho put a gloved finger to Jun's lips (his pretty lips.)
"I'll go as your...date," Sho said hesitantly. He helped Jun up, brushing the dirt off the other man and handing him his trombone case. Jun beamed at Sho, making him smile sincerely for the first time in days.
Jun ended up making Sho dinner since it was ruined when Sho dropped it. Sho gratefully took Jun's homemade pasta carbonara over store bought onigiri any day. Sho always did the dishes afterward while Jun watched. To his surprise, Jun leaned over and smelled him.
"What was that?" Sho asked, more shocked than disgusted.
"You smell like me."
"...it's your shampoo, don't flatter yourself." Jun hugged Sho from behind, putting his hands across Sho's chest.
He whispered in Sho's ear, "So we have a deal? Come with me to the wedding and I'll cook you pasta everyday for a month." Sho turned around to hold Jun's face in his hands.
"Kiss me now and I'll lower it to half a month. Besides money, you musicians need to eat too right?"
"That we do."
And they kissed.
------
Sort of continued here Shifting Attention: B-side.
Rating: PG-13 (more for implication of sexual situations)
Disclaimer: Owning humans are illegal in most parts of the world (and I can't afford their fabulousness)
Word Count: 3,600
Pairings: Sakumoto
Summary: Sho makes a deal with Jun.
Notes: This takes place in the AU!au. There are also a lot of food scenes for some reason. This is also unbeta-ed, just a warning. Made for the sakumoto contest.
"So we have a deal?" asked Matsumoto with crooked grin. "You sleep with me, or I tell poor Kobayashi Mao-chan that you're cheating on her with Kato Ai."
"I'm not! I swear we just had dinner!" yelled a much panicked Sho. It was useless from what he could tell. His palms were sweating, lips twitching and if that wasn't enough of a give away, Sho didn't dare look Jun in the eye.
Matsumoto leaned back in his seat, staring at Sho through his bangs. "Why bring her to an expansive hotel restaurant for 'just dinner'?"
"I haven't seen her for a while! She's a nice girl, but we're not-"
"It's fine to bring her to the restaurant, but don't think I didn't see you bring her upstairs afterwards."
Sho met Matsumoto Jun about a month ago through Aiba. In actuality, it was more like he met Jun through Nino who was introduced to him by Aiba.
Aiba and Sho literally ran into each other one day he was running to get to his meeting while Aiba was trying to order a soda from the vending machine. After many apologies and a free Calpis for Aiba, Sho missed his meeting while listening to recipe ideas for making mabo doufu bread. Soon they were having lunch together when Sho had time to leave the office. Thankfully none of those lunches involved said mabo doufu bred.
Later Aiba brought Nino, a loyal milk bread customer, to their little lunch sessions. Partly because he wanted Sho to meet Nino, mostly because Nino wanted a free lunch. He thought Nino was pretty cute in the bratty, little brother way (and too easily reminded him of his own younger brother) and paid for his cheese hamburger once or twice. In exchange, Nino would perform little magic tricks and throw snarky comments at Aiba.
One Friday lunch, Nino invited Sho to karaoke with a friend of his. Nino told him that he recently went through a break up after his girlfriend found a new boyfriend while studying aboard. When he arrived at the bar, the businessman also brought his stock broker friend, Ohno Satoshi who Nino immediately latched his claws into. Suffice to say the other three had fun screaming into the mike Ultraman songs and Avril Lagvine.
There in the corner was Matsumoto Jun, the reason why Sho was there. He was pretty stylish, as one could expect from someone's whose interest lay in the arts. Long lashes, beauty marks strategically placed on his face, and unreasonably pale skin; had Matsumoto been a girl, he would have been Sho's type.
Although, Sho did have a girlfriend living with him in their humble one room apartment. Her name was Kobayashi Mao, a journalist training to be a meteorologist. She's the kind of girl you can bring home to your parents. The kind that remembers to take the laundry from the balcony when you forget. The kind one can seriously consider marrying after more than two years of dating.
Now, had Matsumoto been a girl, he probably couldn't take him home to his parents. What would his parents want with a trombone player? Or anyone who had no interest in the current state of the Nikkei. That was not the type of person they would approve of Sho dating, nor the type he would want to date. He made a point to converse with Matsumoto and couldn't keep his eyes off of him for the entire session.
Big mistake.
Sho had the unfortunate trait of being especially nice to everyone regardless of their personality or situation. He also recently acquired the tendency to be too nice. It was not entirely his fault, of course. Mao-chan and he had an argument, which meant she was staying at her mother's and he was alone in the apartment for two weeks. He couldn't remember what the argument was about, but he knew it was probably his fault.
That's when he was approached by his old college underclassman, Kato Ai. The both of them studied in economics during their time at Keio, but when she graduated she returned to her hometown in Nagoya to find work. During Sho's second year and her first, they had a relationship that lasted for two years and ended with the two of them being too busy for each other. It turned out that now they were working for sister companies and in celebration of their reunion they went out to dinner together at that same hotel they held the meeting in...and later went back to her room to continue "celebrating."
The next day, deathly hung-over and an upset with himself, Sho received a call. Without realizing he picked up the phone without checking the I.D. he answered with a grumbled, “Hello?"
"Sakurai?" said the voice on the other end. It was male, Sho was sure, but he really couldn't make out who it was.
"Yes? Sorry I'm not feeling to well." There was a giggle on the other end that Sho was sure he heard only recently. "Matsumoto?"
"Yes. I was hoping we could talk. Come meet me in the Sunshine City Mall."
"Now? I'm sorry, but I'm really not feeling too well and-..."
"It's about Kato Ai."
Within thirty minutes, Sho drove to the other side of Tokyo, not even bothering to check whether his clothes matched or if his hair was in the least bit decent.
"Why do I have to sleep with you?" Sho whispered head ducked down partly because he was angry, mostly because of his major hangover. How was Sho supposed to notice that Matsumoto was playing in the live band during dinner that night?
"You might be boring, but you are also seriously hot. I haven't had sex in months because of Keiko shacking it up with some basketball player and you are obviously frustrated to do it with someone like Kato." Matsumoto slurped the last of his pasta carbonara and lightly dabbed his lips with a napkin, almost as if he wasn't talking about such a risqué subject in such a public place.
"You know her?"
"Yeah, she went out with my friend Toma for a while. Anyway that's beside the point. You seem more worried about having sex with me than with having sex with a guy so I figure you're okay with that. Am I right?" Sho didn't deny it. After all, he went to college.
The businessman sighed in resignation. He looked up to face Matsumoto with whatever dignity he had left. It wasn't that the other man wasn't attractive. Like he thought that night during karaoke, Matsumoto was strikingly handsome in a feminine way. Even now it was hard to resist his teasing eyes and glossy lips.
"Can't we compromise? I can pay you whatever you want. Musicians need money right?" Sho whined. The musician sipped his blood orange juice while staring at the man. The minutes ticked away, Sho silently thinking of a thousand ways to apologize Mao-chan.
"Fine," he said, putting down his drink. Sho let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and reached for his wallet.
"Great. How much?"
"I don't need your money."
"BUT YOU JUST SAID-!"
"Stop yelling I won't fuck you." Sho squeaked. "Kiss me. Just one small kiss and I'll forget about this."
It's been weeks since Sho and Jun (when did he become Jun?) kissed in the shady corner outside of the mall. Nervous, quivering lips slid delicately against firm, full lips. His hands grabbed Jun by the shoulders just in case he pulled the other man's face closer. The kiss was like sunshine, hot and pleasantly heavy. Jun ran his tongue against Sho's lower lip, but didn't enter the other's mouth. It was more inquisitive and, for some strange reason, a bit heartbreaking. Since then, Sho also has not spoken to him.
Kobayashi still hasn't returned to the apartment. While Sho could keep the place clean (somewhat), he hasn't really touched the kitchen since her disappearance. He tried to make instant noodles for himself and ended up burning the bowl. To prevent other potential kitchen hazards, Sho bought bento boxes from Nino's convenience store. Unfortunately, he picked up an expired one and got food poisoning. He lay uncomfortably in his bed; bucket in hand ready to heave yesterday's lunch with that morning's breakfast.
The door bell rang suddenly and while Sho did not want anyone to see him, he opened the door out of habit.
"I heard you were sick," said Jun after he took off his shoes. Sho didn't have the strength to push him out and simply moved aside. Jun shoved his way into the kitchen, Sho slowly shuffling behind him, clutching is poor stomach. He plopped on his sofa, bringing his knees up to his chest with Jun swiftly working in his kitchen.
Minutes later, Jun came out with a bowl of rice porridge for the sick man. He placed the bowl on the table in front of the sofa and helped Sho to sit up. The two didn't talk while he spoon-fed Sho. The businessman accepted the food without a fight and even drank the smelly unknown Chinese herbal tea Jun shoved down his throat. Sho felt warm when Jun pulled the blankets over his form, tucked the edges under him, placed the emptied bucket within easy reach, and brushed the stray strands from his forehead.
"Thanks," Sho muttered.
"Just sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Kobayashi didn't call.
He waited outside of Ebisu Station's East Exit. Kobayashi was supposed to be there a while ago, but she was late. It wasn't like her to be late, but Sho didn't mind waiting He loved her and wasn't going to let their relationship be torn apart by a petty argument neither party could remember. Kato left for Nagoya a while back to return to her fiancée. She admitted to Sho later that their late-night tryst was her last hurrah before married life and she promised to keep it secret if he did. Sho was sure that Jun would too.
When Kobayashi arrived, she wasn't smiling like Sho expected. Was she still mad? Was he too early? Were the flowers not good enough? Questions rang through his mind, trying to find a reason for her grim expression.
They didn't speak to each other aside from a "hello" until they sat down to order their food. She ordered a salad and ice tea, he ordered a sandwich and Coke. The atmosphere was thick and suffocating, but Sho still had hope that this just meant they were going to get back together. He loved her; it should be enough, right?
Right?
"I don't think we are working out," Kobayashi said. Sho dropped his napkin.
"Wha-why? I thought- I thought we were okay. Sure you didn't call but-~"
"You didn't call either."
"Was I supposed to? I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if I should make the first move-~"
"It's not just that Sho." She looked up at him with those doe eyes that made his heart melt for her. "I love you, I do. And I'm sure you love me-"
"I do!" he said, voice wavering.
"See," she sighed. "You still can't say it. There are just some things that I need from you that you can't give me."
"What is it? I-I'll do anything!" She shook her head and picked up her fork.
"You know, I interviewed a musician friend of yours. Matsumoto Jun?"
Sho's eyes widened. He couldn't believe he trusted Jun. Kissing him just wasn't enough was it? He had to ruin his relationship, didn't he? What did Sho ever do to him?
Kobayashi continued, "I didn't know you knew him, but he knew me. He started asking about me. And he told me," Sho began to sweat. "That you missed me."
"Huh? I mean, yes of course!" She gave a sad smile.
"He told me you got sick and he had to care for you. That I should have called. Should have cared. And that made me realize-"
No.
"We just are not good for each other." Sho slammed his hands on the table.
"Just one fight! Just one fight and we break up? After all this time?" The waiter that was about to refill their drinks backed away.
"It's not just that," she whispered so low that Sho wouldn't have heard her if he didn't try. Her eyes turned red and watery when she looked at him "I met up with someone. While I was at my mother's. He isn't you. He's not too smart. He isn't nearly as talented as you. But he treats me differently from you. I can't tell you why or how, but I like it. I cheated on you. And I don't regret it."
The clanking of utensils on dishes, the murmur of conversation, and the swinging of the kitchen door went ignored by Sho. He could only hear his heartbeat slowing, beating mournfully.
"When Matsumoto told me that you loved me still, I knew you were a great guy." She let out a small sob. "And you were too good for a girl like me."
Sho returned to the apartment that night and cocooned himself underneath the sheets. It didn't smell like her anymore. It stopped smelling like her for a few weeks, but Sho desperately inhaled her pillow.
The door opened to Sho's apartment, but he didn't move from his bed. It's been three months since Kobayashi moved and he knew only one other person had the key to his apartment.
"Sho? I've got dinner so get outta bed!"
Jun. Since the break-up, he's been helping Sho cope living alone by occasionally invading his apartment to cook or clean. He's been a comfortable presence in the lonely space of the apartment. All of Kobayashi's furniture and clothes have been moved out and in its place were Jun's instrument cleaners and sweatshirts.
Sho groaned into his pillow, but knew better than to argue with Jun when he's with cooking implements. Frying pan burns are awkward and painful. He heaved himself up and trudged to his kitchen, watching the younger man bustle around making pasta something-or-other. Unlike when Kobayashi cooked, Jun liked an audience and often did tricks with the food like flipping it higher than necessary to flambé something in front of Sho. Jun also took care to make his food was nicely decorated unlike Kobayashi, who simply put it on a nice plate. There was also more food with Jun than with the calorie conscious Kobayashi. It wasn't that Jun didn't care about his weight, but rather made healthier food that Sho didn't mind eating (not that Sho particularly disliked any food.)
"Can I practice here?" asked Jun while straining the pasta. "I have show in two days."
"Sure." Sho never refused him, but he always asked. Sho liked listening to Jun practice. He wasn't a fan of the trombone, but he liked music and Jun did play well. Sometimes he didn't even play the trombone, using Sho's unused keyboard to practice some pieces for recitals. It made better background music than Kobayashi's melodramatic TV shows that have rich guys arguing with poor girls over necklaces.
Life without Kobayashi was hard, but Jun made it bearable. One bowl of pasta at a time.
Aoyama was full of sales that day so Aiba and Sho went shopping. They had similar tastes in clothes and Aiba was sure that Sho was in need of a man-date. The two were walking down the street, bumping shoulders and smiling. He was finally over Kobayashi and getting some fresh air.
"What about Jun?" Sho laughed. Shop-therapy was not just meant for girls.
"No," Aiba said. "That's a date-date. This is a man-date! Between man-friends."
"And Jun is?"
"You're new girlfriend. Well, more like the girl you go on dates with, but aren't dating."
"Does that even make sense?"
"He has your house key doesn't he?" At that moment, Jun text him to pick up milk, we're out.
They weren't dating, Sho was sure.
"SPF 50 sound okay?" Sho asked Ohno. The businessman finally convinced him to buy sunscreen for his fishing days, partially because it was disturbing Sho, mostly because it was disturbing Nino. The two were inside a drug store they passed by on the way to work, looking through the cosmetics section. Sho knew next to nothing about make-up and Ohno probably knew even less. They settled on something one of the store clerks recommended and walked out of the store faster than they expected.
"What's that?" Ohno asked, pointing to Sho's bag. Sho lifted the bag that contained a bottle.
"Jun's favorite shampoo. He says he hates using mine when he stays over so I thought I'd buy him one."
"Hmmm." Ohno lightly nodded.
"What's that for?"
"Nothing."
"Really?"
"I know Nino's favorite shampoo too. Maybe I should buy him some. Be a good boyfriend."
Why did everyone think Sho and Jun were dating? Really there was no precedence behind it. Even when Jun hugged Sho around the waist, mostly wet and naked from the shower after seeing the expensive shampoo. And Sho smelling Jun's clean body as he pressed close was not strange in the slightest.
They weren't dating, but that didn't make watching Jun have lunch with another person less heartbreaking. It was late and Sho was working overtime to make up for the terrible job he did after his breakup. There was a classy restaurant that Sho has always wanted to try out next to his office so he decided to walk by the window to see what the food looked like.
He didn't expect to see Jun, casually eating a fillet minion with another good looking man, casually drinking wine. He was smiling and laughing and his eyes had that glitter that Sho's only seen when he gave Jun a bouquet after his recital. Jun was happy and glittering and Sho wasn't the cause. Not that it mattered to Sho.
That night, Sho not only ignored all of Jun's calls and mails, but it was the first time since he got the apartment that he used the chain lock when Jun tried to force the door in.
The apartment was back to being a mess and Sho was back to eating convenience store meals. Jun hadn't stopped by in a week, probably out of respect for Sho. Calls were left on his home answering machine and voice mail on his phone was completely full. The mails made awkward vibrating sounds in his desk drawer that Sho had to explain to his boss. It was tough avoiding a man who was in your life nearly everyday for a year.
It was tiring and Sho didn't even know why he was upset. He only knew that he was upset and that Jun meant too much to him at this point. That if Jun came up to him right now, he could never let go. That this was almost as hard, if not harder than letting go of Kobayashi. And this was only after one year.
The autumn night was cold and lonely on the way home for him. His legs were heavy sacks of sand, slowly sinking into the ground with every step. The air around him was stale, leaving Sho lightly gasping for breath. He was tired, exhausted, but most of all confused.
"Sho?" He turned around and came face-to-face with the man he has been trying to avoid. Sho couldn't look him in the eye. Not yet at least.
"Sho, please," Jun said. He was slightly out of breath, which meant he had ditched orchestra practice early. "Please listen to me." Sho made no move so Jun continued. "He was just an old friend of mine. I played in the orchestra during his performance of Caligula. His name is Oguri Shun. He's an actor, just a friend I promise-Sho! Please, please believe me."
Sho looked up. Jun's cheeks were red from the biting frost and he was struggling to hold his trombone, his day bag, and another convenience store bag. His eyes were desperate and his voice was beginning to waver. "He was asking me to play at his wedding. He's getting married next month. Will you come with me then? As my friend?"
"...no." Jun's face fell, and his knees buckled causing him to fall. Sho dropped his bags and caught the man in his arms.
"I don't beg, and please don't make me anymore, but I swear I-" Sho put a gloved finger to Jun's lips (his pretty lips.)
"I'll go as your...date," Sho said hesitantly. He helped Jun up, brushing the dirt off the other man and handing him his trombone case. Jun beamed at Sho, making him smile sincerely for the first time in days.
Jun ended up making Sho dinner since it was ruined when Sho dropped it. Sho gratefully took Jun's homemade pasta carbonara over store bought onigiri any day. Sho always did the dishes afterward while Jun watched. To his surprise, Jun leaned over and smelled him.
"What was that?" Sho asked, more shocked than disgusted.
"You smell like me."
"...it's your shampoo, don't flatter yourself." Jun hugged Sho from behind, putting his hands across Sho's chest.
He whispered in Sho's ear, "So we have a deal? Come with me to the wedding and I'll cook you pasta everyday for a month." Sho turned around to hold Jun's face in his hands.
"Kiss me now and I'll lower it to half a month. Besides money, you musicians need to eat too right?"
"That we do."
And they kissed.
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Sort of continued here Shifting Attention: B-side.