(no subject)
I like to think that I have tasted freedom, but I also recognize the signs and snares of addiction.
I’d like to learn things like piano and real forgiveness.
And while I’m sure I’ve been given up by important people like parents and mentors, there are still a few who will always love me and sometimes, it’s true, that scares me. But then I remember my future of deep water and trees and of course I also remember that it’s not always about love.
Having an old friend around makes me aware of all the transition that’s easy to forget in the face of perpetual newness. Because it’s not just our politics or trainers; we’re imperceptibly shifting around in front of all the people we think know us, while really we’re crashing recklessly through adulthood and the only ones who truly know it are the ones who will really tell us, you know?
my girl speaks some wise words -
"leeds has been a place where alot of hard things have happened for you. its not that its too small its just that its too old. those bad feelings don't tend to leave a place for some people, people like you and me. i had to leave too. i just didn't realise how much i had to leave until i left."
that's the first thing i've heard in a really long time that makes real sense.
more later.