(no subject)
today wasn't looking so good. i didn't go to photo because i felt like crap and i was a few minutes late to h.s. being home wasn't much better. i finally talked to serge about the distance. it's over. he said he was finally ok with being single before he met me. he tried to overcome that but it wasn't working. it was the most honorable reason any guy has ever given me for ending something with me. it sucks because all the things he said to me were so sincere and he was the most amazing guy i have ever met. i wish he would change his mind but i honestly don't know. i'm done trying to predict the future. whatever happens happens and there is always some reason for it. maybe serge was sent to me to show me that not all guys are the same, that there are good ones out there. but for now, serge is it, even if i can't be with him.
after much crying i went to visit brandon (my favorite of serge's friends) because he talked me through some things. i had to leave cuz i was getting him in trouble. i was just going to go home when i decided to drive down pch. something about the ocean just makes me happy and helps me clear my head. after that i went and visite ashley cuz i've never done it and i had bought herthe james blunt cd. she got off work and we went to her house to watch stuff on tv then went to a bar. how we got in still amazes me. it's not necessarily how i guess, it's just the fact that we got in. we got a pitcher of new castle and it was awesome. tap is much better than bottled. well ashley and alex got in a heated disscussion because alex was drunk so he brought things up at the wrong time. it was fun being at the bar and drinking in a place other than someone's house. we didn't get drunk but it didn't matter. if it wasn't for the drama then it would have been a really good end to a difficult day. but i'm still happy.
i realized today that i do have people that love me and care for me. without ashley i would be so lost. she is my backbone when i'm feeling weak. then there is alex who is my twin emotionally. granted he had all the emotion tonight. happy, who always listens when i need it. even issac who trusts me with some of his deepest secrets is there for me even though we don't talk that much. and brandon who has known me for less than two weeks supported me when i was down and vulnerable. i'm so blessed to have the people i have in my life. even if i'm not a religious person, i still know when i have a blessing, and my blessing is my friends. my true friends. i love each and everyone of you. if i forgot anyone i'm sorry. these are just the people who helped me today. then again...who reads this anyway? haha! goodnight to anyone who does take the time.
after much crying i went to visit brandon (my favorite of serge's friends) because he talked me through some things. i had to leave cuz i was getting him in trouble. i was just going to go home when i decided to drive down pch. something about the ocean just makes me happy and helps me clear my head. after that i went and visite ashley cuz i've never done it and i had bought herthe james blunt cd. she got off work and we went to her house to watch stuff on tv then went to a bar. how we got in still amazes me. it's not necessarily how i guess, it's just the fact that we got in. we got a pitcher of new castle and it was awesome. tap is much better than bottled. well ashley and alex got in a heated disscussion because alex was drunk so he brought things up at the wrong time. it was fun being at the bar and drinking in a place other than someone's house. we didn't get drunk but it didn't matter. if it wasn't for the drama then it would have been a really good end to a difficult day. but i'm still happy.
i realized today that i do have people that love me and care for me. without ashley i would be so lost. she is my backbone when i'm feeling weak. then there is alex who is my twin emotionally. granted he had all the emotion tonight. happy, who always listens when i need it. even issac who trusts me with some of his deepest secrets is there for me even though we don't talk that much. and brandon who has known me for less than two weeks supported me when i was down and vulnerable. i'm so blessed to have the people i have in my life. even if i'm not a religious person, i still know when i have a blessing, and my blessing is my friends. my true friends. i love each and everyone of you. if i forgot anyone i'm sorry. these are just the people who helped me today. then again...who reads this anyway? haha! goodnight to anyone who does take the time.