(no subject)

[songmon]

death in the family

my father was hurt very young
because his mommy died and left him alone in a harsh world in which love came rarely
if at all
a world of wounded men
screaming in agony

my father decided early on that life was dark and would eventually
take him down
and so did I
it left a pain sized hole in him
which I imitated and played with as a child
it was a good fit
comfy and safe and cold

a world of unbalanced men
praying for harmony

a pain never healed by anything
never touched by love directly
it is our family jewel and I must guard it with my life
my legacy
every family must have a legacy right?

a family of wounded souls
falling by the wayside unhealed
where will they go now

my family is almost gone and I suck at creating another
apparently
and Daddy's weariness is wearing thin and his flirtation with Death
is getting serious - now they're going steady
with Death's engagment ring newly placed on his finger
the wedding will be very soon and
I am to be the last one standing

mom checked out after she couldn't face 10 years of post-married life on her own
al slipped away under a veil of cancer smoke and drug haze as he read the
stock reports in my visiting-from-far-away face
not a word about anything between us
unspoken
unheralded
we are the salt of the earth, the most anonymous of the ordinary
who live and die with nary a sound of life
survivors; children of hard times and harder feelings

what shall the last one do when all are gone?
Death has been looking my way, smiling at me and batting her
eyelashes
bitch