twilight

[songkran]

I can't wait for this semester to be over. What a world of fucking shit. Never have I felt so uncomfortable with who I am and the fact that I exist in the mode that I do. Ironically, one of these factors is how unprivate of a person I am. I've felt so guilty over this semester for always having put myself out there in the past. How unmanly. I still

Comments

true restraint and false restraint

[synthesoid]

you will have to look for validation of your inner dialogue in literature, poetry, art and philosophy. if your a highly sensitive person, which it obviously appears you are, mundane contact is rarely enough. i got a huge sense of identifying with others in plato's philosophy through his socratic dialogues. it was like getting a secret invitation into an amazing club of highly developed gentlemen

[indiewetrust]

dear Luke, I love you. We should see eachother some time in the near future. Let me show you around my city, yes?
love always, Lindsay

[moosejunkie]

going abroad was, for a long time, my only hope at case for getting away from this place. the end of my sophomore year ended up a lot better than it started, and junior year has been good, but i'm still looking forward to getting out. i think you should do it.

reading this post, i feel like my first semester sophomore year was similar to yours. (especially this part: "I made a lot of excuses for myself this semester. I took my explanations for my depression as reasons not to fight it, even to slack off on my school work in my wallowing.")

i'm sure things will get better, though; they did for me, at least.

ghost

[anonymous]

have you learned that loving someone is independent of needing anything from them?

in order to be honest-to-god happy people need to be able to stand up and face whatever comes at them. burrowing into lovers for answers is the happily-ever-after myth -- it's not a drug or a spell or a supernatural state, but a relationship. the world keeps spinning, as madly and as sickeningly as before. maybe you need roots, but that is something you have to develop on your own (otherwise you're stuck drifting from place to place and person to person and all but no good to anybody).

what do you believe in?
what makes a good day?
have you been watching the colors outside?

keep your eyes open, keep moving, and do whatever you have to in order to, first and foremost, have respect for yourself. things will happen, you don't have to force them. goodness comes about when you let it.