(no subject)
Title: Top Gear Takes On Pokémon! (1/?)
Author: Sonata Night
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing
Pairing: None in this segment, but eventually James/Richard
Summary: After an incident with the Stig transports Richard, Jeremy, and James to the world of Pokémon, they find themselves unable to get back home and being immersed in the diverse world of Pokémon.
Notes: I still am boggling at the fact that I’m writing almost PORN in a Pokémon crossover. Also, apparently the Microsoft Word Vista automatically adds in an é to “Pokemon”. And the Stig gets to have an actual background to being an alien! Or sort of. :D
Disclaimer: Fish are friends, not food - Erhm, I mean, all of this is purely from my imagination.
“How hard can it be?” Every time James hears Richard say those words, it doesn’t seem to carry the accompanying thought of Oh no, what's going to happen to us now which is what happens when Jeremy says those words. Because with Jeremy's plans, inevitably, something always goes terribly wrong. And it is indeed Jeremy who has said that to them. But it is Richard who has gotten them into this odd predicament.
It had been to get the Stig to show any reaction at all. They'd taken their turns showing off impressive cars and gotten no response. They'd done incredibly odd things, such as Jeremy mooning the Stig - the camera panned away for that one. Richard had taken it a step too far. He'd actually tried hugging the Stig.
And now they were ... well, James had no clue where they were. A nearby sign said "Pallet Town", but he'd never heard of it. In fact, he had no clue how they'd gotten there. He remembered Richard stupidly putting his arm around the Stig and a sort of electric feeling running along his spine, and an odd flash of blue light that seemed to come all around him, and then nothing at all. And then he'd opened his eyes and realised he was somewhere completely different from about five seconds ago.
He glanced at his watch. Or ... three hours ago? Well, that certainly was a big difference. He glanced over to see that Richard and Jeremy were nowhere to be found. He stood up slowly, dusted himself off. Glancing around, he saw small homes and he was going to kill Richard as soon as he saw him. "Richard? Jeremy?"
He heard nothing, saw nobody. Then there was a small scuttling sound and he turned to see a… he blinked. He must have hit his head or something and therefore needed to get medical attention seeing as there was a fairly large purple rat staring at him. Most rats that he’d seen were usually around half the size of this one.
A few moments later, it moved to sit up on its haunches. He was beginning to get rather disturbed by this. He backed up and the rat took a step forward curiously, watching him. “Sod off,” he said rather angrily. He kicked a rock at it, and although it didn’t hit the creature, it did make the rat scamper off into tall grasses nearby.
“Bloody hell, I’m stuck somewhere without any clue how to get home, I’m seeing things, and Richard and Jeremy are -“
“Right here,” and James turned to see Richard hurrying up. “Have you any idea where we’re at?” James scowled at him and went to give him a solid punch to the face but noticed a red welt just below Richard’s left eye.
“Has Jezzer already been at you, then?” He asked. Richard rolled his eyes. “Well, in that case,” he decided to let Richard off the hook, seeing as Richard was touching the lump on his face rather gingerly. “You do know that I’m going to kill you once we get back to the track.”
“What in god’s name made you think that hugging the Stig, let alone touching him at all, was a good idea?” Jeremy asked in disbelief.
“Well, I thought if we could get him to flail his arms or something -“ Richard explained in vain just as James punched him in the face. Apparently he wasn’t going to let him off the hook. Once Richard had stopped shouting and trying to return a solid punch at James, and Jeremy had gotten in between them and told them to “shut the hell up, you wankers,”
“What that’s?” Richard asked, peering past James. James turned to find three of the rats now staring at them, much closer.
“I have no clue. Wait, so, I’m not hallucinating?” James blinked and stumbled backwards, almost tripped over the rats, and as he fell, waving his arm, his elbow knocked something from the side of his belt. It was round and solid and he turned his head as he landed squarely on his arse to see a red and white ball about the size of a tomato hit the ground and pop open.
A stream of white light burst forth and James watched, confusion and more than a fair amount of worry growing on his face. Then, the light formed itself into a solid figure of what appeared to be a small cross between a cat and a fox. It yawned sleepily and looked up at him. “Eevee?”
James blinked. “Ee…what?” It took a cautious step forward, sniffed his leg, and then sat down and let out another sound, one that was clearly contentment. It turned its head and looked at the rat creatures who were now growling in anger and it too began to growl, standing up as its fur bristled. A row of wickedly sharp teeth were visible from the rats and James began to worry.
“Hey, I’ve got one too,” Jeremy said in surprise and James turned his head slightly to see Jeremy dropping a ball just like his had been. However, from his emerged a small … thing. It was a pale yellow with spikes on its head and it was in a white shell that covered the lower half of its body. The shell was splashed with red and blue shapes, mostly circular information. “Togepriiii!” it chirruped loudly as it saw Jeremy and scurried towards him. However, Jeremy backed out of the way, and it tripped, landing on its head. Almost immediately, it began to cry loudly. Very loudly
Richard dropped his own red and white sphere curiously, and a furry red fox with several tails emerged, looking around with glossy dark eyes before letting out a soft, “Vulpix vul!” It saw the three rats and too became very agitated.
A few more rats appeared and soon a circle was forming around the three men and the three small creatures. The egg-thing sat up and stopped crying, instead looking around in alarm. “Togepi!” it whimpered and scurried behind the cat-fox, which turned and sniffed it, then wrapped its tail around the little creature. It growled at the now dozen rats who in turn advanced closer.
“Rrrrrattata!” Several of the rats cried out and then one leapt forward towards the multiple-tailed red fox which darted out of the way, sending the rat skidding along the ground before the fox leapt forward and slammed its body against the other creature’s, causing it to faint.
There was absolute silence from everyone for a split second, and then Richard exploded into “What in bloody hell is going on?” just as James said in a sort of surprised terror, “They’re attacking us, oh god,” and Jeremy spat out, “Richard, you utter pillock, this is all your fault!”
The rats seemed to sweep forward, but the two fox-like creatures were fast, darting around and growling, crashing into them with their bodies and protecting the little egg-thing, which stared and danced around, making odd chirping noises of worry.
Still, with almost a dozen of the rats against the two foxes, it didn’t take long before the fox-things were panting and struggling to even stand up, although they still growled fiercely and eyes shone brightly with spirit. But even as they did so, the one that had come from James’ sphere whimpered, “…vee…” and collapsed to the ground.
Moments later, the other let out a soft “…vul…” and with a final lunge, barely grazed the rat it was attacking. The egg-thing blinked, chirped again, and watched as the rats advanced forward. “Priiii!” it squeaked out and waved its little finger tips back and forth. Moments later, glittering stars formed from around it and shot forward, encircling and knocking into the rats. “Priiii, toge-togepriii!” it chanted, sounding delighted, and then a moment later, fingers now glowing brightly, it yawned heavily.
For a moment, it seemed like they were going to die at the sharp teeth of a bunch of odd purple rats, but as the egg-creature stopped yawning, the rats all seemed to slow down, and then began to yawn themselves before stumbling around and falling asleep.
“What… what the hell?” Richard stammered out. The egg-thing scurried back to Jeremy and stared up at him adoringly.
“Pi-pi-pi!” The little egg thing tugged at Jeremy’s leg, which caused him to stumble backwards and almost step on it. It darted out of the way and waved its arms, dancing about gleefully as if this was one big game. Before they could do anything, a young woman ran up to them. The first thing that James noticed was her hair, which was a brilliant blue, describle only as lapis blue. She couldn’t have been more than twenty. She wore a purple tee-shirt with a navy jean jacket over it, white jeans with a belt of yellow, orange, and blue jewels fastened upon it, along with two matching balls like theirs, with matching white slip-on sneakers with squiggles in orange, blue, and yellow all over them. She glanced at the fallen creatures on the ground.
“Oh thank god, I heard a noise and looked out my window and saw you just as your Togepi was attacking,” she pointed at a nearby house that overlooked where they were standing, “and I came to make sure that you were okay or if you needed help.” She smiled kindly at them. “I’m glad that your Togepi managed to defend you. The Rattata around here can be pretty rough.”
“Wha-?” James got out. “Is that what those things were? Rattatas?” He pointed at the still sleeping rats. “And should we get away from them before they wake up?”
She winced. “Oh, yeah, that might be a smart idea. You should call back your Pokémon, though, and I’ll give them some potions back at my place.” Jeremy stared at the little thing, the Togepi, as it apparently seemed to be called, that was still right next to his shoe. He looked at the little ball that it had come from and touched a small button that was in the center of it, which caused the ball to pop open. With a flash of light, the creature disappeared back into the ball, which snapped shut almost on Jeremy’s finger.
James and Richard exchanged glances and followed suit, their confusion too much to deal with right now. Hopefully this girl would be able to explain what was going on.
She ushered them back to her house, which read “Aquinnah” along the mailbox. “I’m Troya,” by the way. She extended her hand in greeting. “Troya Aquinnah. My family owns a small farm of racing Ponytas and I’m a jockey for them sometimes.” She was slim, but she wasn’t as short as most jockeys were, being probably two inches taller than Richard. “Plus, I have my own Ponyta that I occasionally battle, but I haven’t had time to leave and become a true Pokémon trainer on my own. But I’m going to turn seventeen tomorrow and my parents said that since I’ll finally be an adult, I can go on my own quest. I’ve been with them for a while, helping out with the house work. But it looks like Leyna is finally getting her act together - Leyna’s our top racer - and money’s not so tight so I’ll be able to leave!”
She spoke quickly, moved quickly, sat them down and poured them glasses of water and offered them a slice of cake which they politely declined. “So, who’re you?”
James noticed that she spoke very properly, enunciating each word correctly, but she had a slight underlying French accent. He shook his head. “I’m, uh,” and then he got his act together. “James May. And this is Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson. We’re on the show “Top Gear” together. Could you tell us where we’re at? We were just in Surrey a few minutes ago.”
“Surrey? I’m not sure I’ve heard of that place,” she said. “Where’s it by? Is it a store?” Richard exchanged glances with James, who tried a more known place.
“England. We’re from England.” He explained further. She shook her head. “You’ve never heard of England?”
She shrugged. “I’ve heard of Tom England. He’s a Pokémon Master who almost became champion of the Indigo League a few years back. Now he opened up a small gym for new trainers so they can practice battling against assorted types and get to know what a gym battle is like before they face a real gym leader.” She looked at them. “Why are you looking at me like I have three heads?”
Richard spoke first. “Well, you see, we seem to have clearly all gone insane because you’re speaking what sounds like English but with some very strange words thrown in. For instance, Pokémon. What does Pokémon mean?”
She furrowed her brows and put down her glass of water. “What do you mean, what does Pokémon mean? You each have a Pokémon! Don’t play games with me. Where are you from? Tell me, or I’ll call the police!” Her eyes, which were amber, were angry and her hand was on the wall phone as she spoke.
Richard, James, and Jeremy glanced at each other, and Jeremy muttered, “I am really going to kill the Stig when get back to Surrey. And you, Richard.”
Troya had removed her hand from the phone. “Wait, you know the Stig?” She asked. She seemed more at ease now. “But you don’t know what Pokémon are? So it is true!”
“What’s true?” Richard asked. She pulled out a chair and sat down, twisting her long hair into a knot away from her face. “And how do you know the Stig?”
“The Stig was one of the more famous trainers fifteen years ago. Then, he just disappeared. His uncle was Professor Oak, who gave him his starting Pokémon and trained him. Some people said he had died or was living in a cave, but Professor Oak found an encrypted diary written in a secret language that the Stig had created. He had the best analyst he could get look at it and they finally were able to translate it. The Stig was claiming that with his Alakazam and Hypno, he had discovered how to not only teleport around in this world, but that he had discovered a new … well, I guess you could call it a move … called “Portal Vortex” which could open portals to other worlds. We all thought it was a joke, but if you’re saying you know the Stig, and you seem to be lost, then is it true? Are you from another world?”
“No! We’re from Earth!” Jeremy protested. She smiled further. “What?”
“Yes, he mentioned that he’d briefly gone to a place named Earth and had managed to return home to study what had happened, and that if he ever went anywhere again, he would visit Earth again as it had the friendliest environment of the few places he’d traveled to. I thought it was a bunch of hooey and all the time spent practicing his psychic powers with his Pokémon had made his brain snap a bit.” Troya stood and put her empty glass in the sink. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like some cake?”
“No. Wait. So. We’re on a totally different planet.” James tried to comprehend this. “And the only way of getting back is known by the Stig. Who is not on this planet. Is there any way we could talk to someone who could help us out more? Not that you’ve not been helpful. You’ve definitely explained a bit more clearly what’s going on. I think.”
Troya nodded. “I guess I could take you to Professor Oak. He’s the only one who seems to know anything about this besides the Stig.”She took their glasses and put them in the sink and then led them to a large building. As they entered, they took in the laboratory, full of very scientist-y looking things that none of them dared even breathe near lest they break it.
At the very back of the building was an elderly man typing away information from a notebook into a computer. Standing next to him was what looked like a blue bulb with feet and leaves sprouting from the top. It turned around and said curiously, “Oddish?”
The man stood and turned around. “Ahh, Troya,” he smiled. “What brings you here? And are these friends of yours?”
“Hi, Professor,” she smiled. “I… was actually hoping you could help us out. See, I saw these men near my ranch fighting against a bunch of Rattata and I wanted to make sure that they were okay. Turns out, they have no clue where they’re at and they know the Stig. You following me?”
Professor Oak raised his eyebrows. “Not really, actually. Would you care to elaborate? Sometimes I have no clue where I’m at thanks to my brain starting to go.”
Troya let out a tired, annoyed sigh. “What I’m saying, Professor, is that they’re not from this world.” She glanced at James. “And apparently these three men are very, very confused. They don’t know what Pokémon are and I was hoping you could try to explain it better than I can.”
Professor Oak’s eyes widened. “Oh, oh my!” He dropped the notebook he was holding onto the plant creature’s head and it yelped in outrage. “Oddish!” The creature gave a cry and Professor Oak scooped it up, patting its head gently. “I’m sorry, Oddish,” he spent a minute coddling the creature until it calmed down and then placed it back on the ground, where it began to wander around the lab curiously.
“Well, I guess the best place to explain is that you’re in a town called Pallet Town in the land of Kanto. This is a world where many different types of creatures like the ones you faced earlier, the Oddish you saw, and all sorts of others exist. For example, Troya has a Ponyta and a Dratini that she bought from earning enough coins in Celadon City.”
“Troya mentioned a Ponyta earlier?” Richard asked weakly. That name sounded somewhat normal. Pony, right? A nice, cute pony.
Troya grabbed one of the balls that were attached to her belt and tossed it into the air. It split open and the white light began to form the shape of an equine. However, when it materialised, Richard’s jaw dropped. It was a beautiful cream-coloured equine, but replaced its mane and tail, along with several jets of fire that streamed along near the underside of its belly on all four legs.
“That’s … no regular pony.” James said. Troya put her hand on Ponyta’s withers and patted it gently. It whickered at her and nuzzled behind her ear, and although the flames touched her, she did not flinch away. Richard reached out to touch the creature, which snorted at him, pinned its ears back, and the flames flared up angrily.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. She doesn’t know you very well, and she’s likely to burn you. Nope, this is Storm. She’s only a year old, so no racing for her yet. I’d prefer if she didn’t - I think when I start my Pokémon adventure I’ll use take her and Dratini.”
“Dratini?” James asked, almost regretting the words as they left his mouth. She clicked on the button of another one of the balls and he asked, “What is that?”
“This? Oh, right. This is a Pokéball.” She smiled at them. When she released the Pokéball, what formed as a blue snakelike creature almost six feet long. It curled up around itself and stared at them. “This is Dratini.” It had an innocent face as it watched them. It peeked out from around Troya and hid again. “It’s a naturally shy Pokémon,” she said, and ran her hand along its neck. It gave a purring noise and then disappeared back into its Pokéball at her request.
“Ah…” Richard began. “So, what… do we have?”
“Oh! I almost forgot! Professor, can you heal their Pokémon? The Rattata really wore them out!” Troya reached over and took the three Pokéballs from the men and handed them to Professor Oak who placed them on a table underneath several rays of light.
“It’ll take only a few minutes - I’ve come up with a new device that takes the healing properties of a Chansey and focuses them into a beam of light, as such. Once it enters the Pokéball, the circular factor allows it to reveberate throughout and intensify even more.”
Troya raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that’s impressive! That’s going to be a major invention for people in need of a fast heal for their Pokémon!” This was still very much over any of the heads of the three men.
Richard pulled James and Jeremy aside. “Right. So, what do we do? I mean, we need to get out of here, so how?”
James reached for his mobile. “Maybe we can get ahold of the Stig this way?” But even as he pulled it out of his pocket, he saw that they were getting no reception. He wasn’t surprised. He glanced at Jeremy and shook his head. “I’ve got nothing, then.”
“Well, if he could get us here, then clearly he’s refined how to do this where he doesn’t need his … Pokémon…” the word sounded strange falling from Richard’s mouth, “to help him. And I guess that means he can control it. So if we can get ahold of him, maybe he’ll bring us back.”
“But we have no way of getting ahold of him. Nobody else knows how to open the portal. So, we’re essentially stuck here.” James reminded Richard.
Richard paused. “What if time is different here? I mean, you read all those stories and watch all those movies where a day on Earth is like, a hundred years on another planet. What a day here is like century on Earth?”
“I doubt the Stig would do something that drastic. And if he had gotten to Earth and come back before, he could have figured out the time difference if there was one, and been able to figure it out for when he went back.”
“How do you think he managed to figure it out?” Jeremy interrupted.
Troya was standing off to the side and had been listening. She bit her lip and then approached them. “There’s a mountain that supposedly contains a water within that allows a Pokémon and its trainer to spiritually become one if they bathe in it, drink it, train beneath the waterfall, and essentially remain within it for a day.”
“Hey, James, it’s a Smart Car!” Richard proclaimed. “And, you don’t even need wee bags if you have to go!”
James snorted. “Do not bring that up, Hammond. I never want to experience that, talk about it, or even remember that if possible.” Jeremy was quietly snerking into his hand, having heard about it and decided to take the piss whenever possible out of James and Richard.
A moment later, Troya returns with the three Pokéballs for them. “Hey, here you guys go. If you want, I’m going to run home and try to see if I can start my journey today. And maybe you guys can come along for now? I mean, it might take a really long time to figure out how to get you home, and at least you could have an adventure while you waited?”
Her light brown eyes shone brightly and before they could speak, she had dashed off through the lab and was outside rushing home.
Richard bit his lip. “We’ve got nothing else to do. We’ve finished filming, and season eleven isn’t going to premiere for a few more months. And like James said, we are sort of stuck here. Besides…” He let his Pokéball open and looked at the fox-creature that was there. “It’s kind of cute. Maybe we can make the best of it while we’re here.”
His Pokémon looked up at him and then sprang from a sitting position, surprisingly nimble, and he caught it in surprise. “Oof!” he grunted. “Surprisingly heavy.” It sat in his arms contentedly, curled up around itself, and let out a sleepy, incredibly cute yawn before going to sleep.
“Ah, hello.” The professor had made his way over. “I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself formally. I’m Professor Oak, and I’m a Pokémon researcher. I’ve studied Pokémon all my life and found out some incredible things about them. One of them is the CHM, or the Chansey Healing Machine which I’ve shown you already. This is another.”
He handed them each three red devices, almost shaped like Jame’s mobile phone but more flattened. “This is a Pokédex. It records data on Pokémon you’ve caught or seen, and can give you information on Pokémon as well. Give it a try!”
He sounded so boyish that Richard hated to disappoint him and tapped at the little machine carefully. He located the power button and it lit up with a little ping of noise. “How do I use it?” He asked.
“Just point it at a Pokémon or an item that you come across and want to learn more about.”
Just for the hell of it, Richard pointed the Pokédex at the Professor. “Professor Oak,” the machine intoned in a robotic drone. “A famous Pokémon researcher. He has found out many secrets about Pokémon that were unknown until the last few decades. Considered perhaps the best Pokémon researcher of all time.”
Oak’s cheeks were as red as the Pokédex by the time it finished talking. “Try something else. Your Vulpix, perhaps,” and Richard tipped the Pokédex down. “Vulpix, the fox Pokémon. This Pokémon has only one white tail at its birth which splits and turns reddish-brown as it ages. Every night, Vulpix releaseas a flame from its mouth to release the internal heat from the fire within it.”
James gaped at the machine. “Fire?”
As if on cue, the Vulpix yawned again and a little jet of fire shot from its mouth. “Vuuuuul…” it murmured as it fell back asleep.
“What…” Jeremy stammered out. “What in hell is mine then?” He released his creature from the Pokéball, and it stood there, chirping and clinging to his leg. “And why is it so intent on me?”
“Pri-pri-priii!” it squeaked contentedly as it gazed at him with adoring eyes.
“Togepi. The spike-ball Pokémon. Its shell is considered to be filled with joy that it will bestow upon those who treat it kindly. Upon birth, the first creature it sees it will consider its mother.” Jeremy looked at the Pokémon.
“But. I can’t be the first thing it sees. It didn’t hatch in front of me…”
Professor Oak broke in. “No, but, if what I think the Stig did is correct, then he managed to give the Pokémon to you where it had no previous history with a parent. Of course, that’s implying that the Stig is what I think he is.”
Richard almost hated to ask. “What do you … think the Stig is?”
“I think,” the Professor began, “that he did manage to find a way to link himself with his Pokémon - but more than you would imagine. I think that somehow, he managed to transfer himself and his Pokémon into the same body, to share powers and lives. I know Bill, another famous researcher, did that once by accident. Of course, that was with a transfer machine, not something he ever meant to do.”
James wasn’t sure how to comprehend it. “So, the Stig… he could be like one of these?” He looked at Togepi, at Vulpix, and then let his own Pokémon out. “Eevee!” It cried. He assumed that was its name, and picked it up. Its little pink tongue emerged to lick his nose warmly and then sit down in his arms, fluffy tail wrapping around itself.
“Ah, you have an Eevee. A good starting choice for beginning trainers. Much easier to handle than a Vulpix or a Togepi.” Professor Oak stated, as if barely paying attention to what James had just said. “And, you have the choice of seven different evolutions for it.”
“E…evolutions?” James asked. His head swam with all this new information. As if on cue, the Pokédex began to speak.
“If a Pokémon has gained enough power and skill, it will evolve into its next level on the evolutionary chain. Also, Pokémon may evolve from a certain amount of happiness, by different stones, or by trading them. Then, James watched as a picture of a chubby, yellow duck-like Pokémon changed into a much sleeker, blue Pokémon.
Jeremy finally managed to get what they were all thinking into words. “This is a bit much - you wouldn’t happen to have some tea, would you?”
The professor did have tea, and offered them some outside his lab so that they didn’t risk spilling it. “Would you like to learn how to battle?”
“Whu-huh?” James splurted a mouthful of his tea back into the cup, coughing. “Us? We don’t want to fight! We just want to get back home. Well, maybe I’d like to kill him,” he pointed at Richard, “for landing us here. But that’s about it.”
The Professor laughed, albeit a bit nervously. “Yes. Well. No, I mean your Pokémon. Many trainers engage in battles together to increase their Pokémon’s strength so they can try to become Pokémon champions. Watch, I’ll have my Charmeleon battle my Seaking,” and he tossed two Pokéballs from his belt.
Emerging forth was a dinosaur-like creature. “Chaaaarrrr,” it breathed viciously. All three men took a step backwards as it turned its head towards them, narrowed its eyes, and breathed out a huff of firey breath.
In stark opposition, the Seaking flopped around in a nearby pond, a big fish similar to a German Carp. It looked somewhat defenseless, save for the large horn on its head.
“Alright, guys. Just a little practice battle. Nothing too extreme, okay, Charmeleon?” Professor Oak seemed a little nervous. “Use Flamethrowing on Seaking. Seaking, counter with Waterfall!”
The Charmeleon roared and released a jet of fire so thick and so powerful that the heat radiating off of it caused sweat to appear immediately on James’ forehead. But the Seaking began to swim quickly towards the Charmeleon as the fire approached and a crest of water formed around it that it rode on top of before crashing over the Charmeleon and nearly splashing the four men watching.
With a cough, the Charmeleon stood weakly and then stumbled dizzily. “Chaaar….” It breathed again, although much less mightily. As it fought to keep its balance, Oak said, “Seaking, while he’s down, finish him off!”
The Seaking leapt forward and slammed its horn into the Charmeleon’s own forehead. Immediately, the Charmeleon collapsed and lay there. As Professor Oak recalled each Pokémon, he smiled. “And that’s that.”
“That was brutal.” Richard said. He gaped. James looked down at the fox he held. “Can yours do that?”
“Probably not yet. By the looks of it, this Vulpix is still young. See how fairly straight her tails are? By the time she’s fully grown, they’ll be curled up around themselves.” Professor Oak broke in.
Jeremy looked at Togepi, which was still by his side, clinging in fear from the battle. He picked it up cautiously and stared at it. It danced on tiny feet until he poked it with a finger and it landed on its rear. It began to whimper and he groaned. “Does it do anything but make chirp noises and cry?”
“Well… it is a baby,” Professor Oak said. “Although you might want to watch out for Metronome. That can be a doozy of an attack. Mostly because you never know what you’re going to get!”
Just then, they heard shouting from the distance. Troya was running towards them with a bag over her shoulders. She skidded to a halt in front of them, panting heavily. “My mom said she doesn’t mind if I leave a day early!”
“That’s wonderful, Troya. I know how long you’ve been waiting to start your journey,” the professor said as he patted her shoulders. “Come inside, all of you, and I’ll give you some things to get you started.”
Once they were inside, he led them to a small room where he handed them all some bags emblazoned with a Pokéball mark on it. “Here, store some things that you find in here. I’ve started giving these out to first-time trainers so they have something on them in case their Pokémon gets sick or injured. There’s five Pokéballs, two potions, two antidotes, and two full heals. Which, if you’re curious,” he glanced at the men, “the potions will heal them quickly if they’re low on energy, the antidotes cure them if they get poisoned, and the full heals will fix them if an attack paralyses them, freezes them, burns them, or puts them to sleep, along with being poisoned. But it won’t raise their energy, that will remain the same.”
“Ah… huh.” James said. He glanced at his Eevee. “So, how do we know what they can do in a fight?”
“Well, if you look up Eevee’s attacks, it will tell you what attacks Eevee can learn. However, if your Eevee doesn’t have enough experience, it won’t be able to fight. Oh, and when you fight, you’ll earn money if you win. So you can buy some new clothes,” he said. James looked down and realised his were covered in dust and dirt from when he’d awoken lying on the ground.
“So, are you ready to go?” Troya asked. “We can head to the nearest city, Viridian City.” She smiled at them and although they were confused, James felt a sort of strange glee building up inside of him. This was completely mad, but it was the three of them together so they would figure it out in the end, and really, there was a hell of a lot that could go wrong but for now, they would just have to take it as they went.
“I guess,” he smiled. He glanced at Richard, who was gently stroking his Vulpix’s tails and eliciting little mewing noises from it. “Jezzer?”
Jeremy sighed. “I suppose. Are you sure we can’t talk to the Stig? Or maybe I can take that Charmeleon with me? It’s awful … fiery.”
Professor Oak and Troya gave a little nervous giggle. Professor Oak shook his head. “Ah, maybe you’d best stick to Togepi for now if you don’t want to get broiled alive by the end of the night. Don’t underestimate it either, it’s a powerful little thing.”
Jeremy frowned. "Right. Well. Let's get on our way then." The three men fell in line behind Troya as they began to walk. "I really am going to kill you, Hammond, when we get home."
Author: Sonata Night
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing
Pairing: None in this segment, but eventually James/Richard
Summary: After an incident with the Stig transports Richard, Jeremy, and James to the world of Pokémon, they find themselves unable to get back home and being immersed in the diverse world of Pokémon.
Notes: I still am boggling at the fact that I’m writing almost PORN in a Pokémon crossover. Also, apparently the Microsoft Word Vista automatically adds in an é to “Pokemon”. And the Stig gets to have an actual background to being an alien! Or sort of. :D
Disclaimer: Fish are friends, not food - Erhm, I mean, all of this is purely from my imagination.
“How hard can it be?” Every time James hears Richard say those words, it doesn’t seem to carry the accompanying thought of Oh no, what's going to happen to us now which is what happens when Jeremy says those words. Because with Jeremy's plans, inevitably, something always goes terribly wrong. And it is indeed Jeremy who has said that to them. But it is Richard who has gotten them into this odd predicament.
It had been to get the Stig to show any reaction at all. They'd taken their turns showing off impressive cars and gotten no response. They'd done incredibly odd things, such as Jeremy mooning the Stig - the camera panned away for that one. Richard had taken it a step too far. He'd actually tried hugging the Stig.
And now they were ... well, James had no clue where they were. A nearby sign said "Pallet Town", but he'd never heard of it. In fact, he had no clue how they'd gotten there. He remembered Richard stupidly putting his arm around the Stig and a sort of electric feeling running along his spine, and an odd flash of blue light that seemed to come all around him, and then nothing at all. And then he'd opened his eyes and realised he was somewhere completely different from about five seconds ago.
He glanced at his watch. Or ... three hours ago? Well, that certainly was a big difference. He glanced over to see that Richard and Jeremy were nowhere to be found. He stood up slowly, dusted himself off. Glancing around, he saw small homes and he was going to kill Richard as soon as he saw him. "Richard? Jeremy?"
He heard nothing, saw nobody. Then there was a small scuttling sound and he turned to see a… he blinked. He must have hit his head or something and therefore needed to get medical attention seeing as there was a fairly large purple rat staring at him. Most rats that he’d seen were usually around half the size of this one.
A few moments later, it moved to sit up on its haunches. He was beginning to get rather disturbed by this. He backed up and the rat took a step forward curiously, watching him. “Sod off,” he said rather angrily. He kicked a rock at it, and although it didn’t hit the creature, it did make the rat scamper off into tall grasses nearby.
“Bloody hell, I’m stuck somewhere without any clue how to get home, I’m seeing things, and Richard and Jeremy are -“
“Right here,” and James turned to see Richard hurrying up. “Have you any idea where we’re at?” James scowled at him and went to give him a solid punch to the face but noticed a red welt just below Richard’s left eye.
“Has Jezzer already been at you, then?” He asked. Richard rolled his eyes. “Well, in that case,” he decided to let Richard off the hook, seeing as Richard was touching the lump on his face rather gingerly. “You do know that I’m going to kill you once we get back to the track.”
“What in god’s name made you think that hugging the Stig, let alone touching him at all, was a good idea?” Jeremy asked in disbelief.
“Well, I thought if we could get him to flail his arms or something -“ Richard explained in vain just as James punched him in the face. Apparently he wasn’t going to let him off the hook. Once Richard had stopped shouting and trying to return a solid punch at James, and Jeremy had gotten in between them and told them to “shut the hell up, you wankers,”
“What that’s?” Richard asked, peering past James. James turned to find three of the rats now staring at them, much closer.
“I have no clue. Wait, so, I’m not hallucinating?” James blinked and stumbled backwards, almost tripped over the rats, and as he fell, waving his arm, his elbow knocked something from the side of his belt. It was round and solid and he turned his head as he landed squarely on his arse to see a red and white ball about the size of a tomato hit the ground and pop open.
A stream of white light burst forth and James watched, confusion and more than a fair amount of worry growing on his face. Then, the light formed itself into a solid figure of what appeared to be a small cross between a cat and a fox. It yawned sleepily and looked up at him. “Eevee?”
James blinked. “Ee…what?” It took a cautious step forward, sniffed his leg, and then sat down and let out another sound, one that was clearly contentment. It turned its head and looked at the rat creatures who were now growling in anger and it too began to growl, standing up as its fur bristled. A row of wickedly sharp teeth were visible from the rats and James began to worry.
“Hey, I’ve got one too,” Jeremy said in surprise and James turned his head slightly to see Jeremy dropping a ball just like his had been. However, from his emerged a small … thing. It was a pale yellow with spikes on its head and it was in a white shell that covered the lower half of its body. The shell was splashed with red and blue shapes, mostly circular information. “Togepriiii!” it chirruped loudly as it saw Jeremy and scurried towards him. However, Jeremy backed out of the way, and it tripped, landing on its head. Almost immediately, it began to cry loudly. Very loudly
Richard dropped his own red and white sphere curiously, and a furry red fox with several tails emerged, looking around with glossy dark eyes before letting out a soft, “Vulpix vul!” It saw the three rats and too became very agitated.
A few more rats appeared and soon a circle was forming around the three men and the three small creatures. The egg-thing sat up and stopped crying, instead looking around in alarm. “Togepi!” it whimpered and scurried behind the cat-fox, which turned and sniffed it, then wrapped its tail around the little creature. It growled at the now dozen rats who in turn advanced closer.
“Rrrrrattata!” Several of the rats cried out and then one leapt forward towards the multiple-tailed red fox which darted out of the way, sending the rat skidding along the ground before the fox leapt forward and slammed its body against the other creature’s, causing it to faint.
There was absolute silence from everyone for a split second, and then Richard exploded into “What in bloody hell is going on?” just as James said in a sort of surprised terror, “They’re attacking us, oh god,” and Jeremy spat out, “Richard, you utter pillock, this is all your fault!”
The rats seemed to sweep forward, but the two fox-like creatures were fast, darting around and growling, crashing into them with their bodies and protecting the little egg-thing, which stared and danced around, making odd chirping noises of worry.
Still, with almost a dozen of the rats against the two foxes, it didn’t take long before the fox-things were panting and struggling to even stand up, although they still growled fiercely and eyes shone brightly with spirit. But even as they did so, the one that had come from James’ sphere whimpered, “…vee…” and collapsed to the ground.
Moments later, the other let out a soft “…vul…” and with a final lunge, barely grazed the rat it was attacking. The egg-thing blinked, chirped again, and watched as the rats advanced forward. “Priiii!” it squeaked out and waved its little finger tips back and forth. Moments later, glittering stars formed from around it and shot forward, encircling and knocking into the rats. “Priiii, toge-togepriii!” it chanted, sounding delighted, and then a moment later, fingers now glowing brightly, it yawned heavily.
For a moment, it seemed like they were going to die at the sharp teeth of a bunch of odd purple rats, but as the egg-creature stopped yawning, the rats all seemed to slow down, and then began to yawn themselves before stumbling around and falling asleep.
“What… what the hell?” Richard stammered out. The egg-thing scurried back to Jeremy and stared up at him adoringly.
“Pi-pi-pi!” The little egg thing tugged at Jeremy’s leg, which caused him to stumble backwards and almost step on it. It darted out of the way and waved its arms, dancing about gleefully as if this was one big game. Before they could do anything, a young woman ran up to them. The first thing that James noticed was her hair, which was a brilliant blue, describle only as lapis blue. She couldn’t have been more than twenty. She wore a purple tee-shirt with a navy jean jacket over it, white jeans with a belt of yellow, orange, and blue jewels fastened upon it, along with two matching balls like theirs, with matching white slip-on sneakers with squiggles in orange, blue, and yellow all over them. She glanced at the fallen creatures on the ground.
“Oh thank god, I heard a noise and looked out my window and saw you just as your Togepi was attacking,” she pointed at a nearby house that overlooked where they were standing, “and I came to make sure that you were okay or if you needed help.” She smiled kindly at them. “I’m glad that your Togepi managed to defend you. The Rattata around here can be pretty rough.”
“Wha-?” James got out. “Is that what those things were? Rattatas?” He pointed at the still sleeping rats. “And should we get away from them before they wake up?”
She winced. “Oh, yeah, that might be a smart idea. You should call back your Pokémon, though, and I’ll give them some potions back at my place.” Jeremy stared at the little thing, the Togepi, as it apparently seemed to be called, that was still right next to his shoe. He looked at the little ball that it had come from and touched a small button that was in the center of it, which caused the ball to pop open. With a flash of light, the creature disappeared back into the ball, which snapped shut almost on Jeremy’s finger.
James and Richard exchanged glances and followed suit, their confusion too much to deal with right now. Hopefully this girl would be able to explain what was going on.
She ushered them back to her house, which read “Aquinnah” along the mailbox. “I’m Troya,” by the way. She extended her hand in greeting. “Troya Aquinnah. My family owns a small farm of racing Ponytas and I’m a jockey for them sometimes.” She was slim, but she wasn’t as short as most jockeys were, being probably two inches taller than Richard. “Plus, I have my own Ponyta that I occasionally battle, but I haven’t had time to leave and become a true Pokémon trainer on my own. But I’m going to turn seventeen tomorrow and my parents said that since I’ll finally be an adult, I can go on my own quest. I’ve been with them for a while, helping out with the house work. But it looks like Leyna is finally getting her act together - Leyna’s our top racer - and money’s not so tight so I’ll be able to leave!”
She spoke quickly, moved quickly, sat them down and poured them glasses of water and offered them a slice of cake which they politely declined. “So, who’re you?”
James noticed that she spoke very properly, enunciating each word correctly, but she had a slight underlying French accent. He shook his head. “I’m, uh,” and then he got his act together. “James May. And this is Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson. We’re on the show “Top Gear” together. Could you tell us where we’re at? We were just in Surrey a few minutes ago.”
“Surrey? I’m not sure I’ve heard of that place,” she said. “Where’s it by? Is it a store?” Richard exchanged glances with James, who tried a more known place.
“England. We’re from England.” He explained further. She shook her head. “You’ve never heard of England?”
She shrugged. “I’ve heard of Tom England. He’s a Pokémon Master who almost became champion of the Indigo League a few years back. Now he opened up a small gym for new trainers so they can practice battling against assorted types and get to know what a gym battle is like before they face a real gym leader.” She looked at them. “Why are you looking at me like I have three heads?”
Richard spoke first. “Well, you see, we seem to have clearly all gone insane because you’re speaking what sounds like English but with some very strange words thrown in. For instance, Pokémon. What does Pokémon mean?”
She furrowed her brows and put down her glass of water. “What do you mean, what does Pokémon mean? You each have a Pokémon! Don’t play games with me. Where are you from? Tell me, or I’ll call the police!” Her eyes, which were amber, were angry and her hand was on the wall phone as she spoke.
Richard, James, and Jeremy glanced at each other, and Jeremy muttered, “I am really going to kill the Stig when get back to Surrey. And you, Richard.”
Troya had removed her hand from the phone. “Wait, you know the Stig?” She asked. She seemed more at ease now. “But you don’t know what Pokémon are? So it is true!”
“What’s true?” Richard asked. She pulled out a chair and sat down, twisting her long hair into a knot away from her face. “And how do you know the Stig?”
“The Stig was one of the more famous trainers fifteen years ago. Then, he just disappeared. His uncle was Professor Oak, who gave him his starting Pokémon and trained him. Some people said he had died or was living in a cave, but Professor Oak found an encrypted diary written in a secret language that the Stig had created. He had the best analyst he could get look at it and they finally were able to translate it. The Stig was claiming that with his Alakazam and Hypno, he had discovered how to not only teleport around in this world, but that he had discovered a new … well, I guess you could call it a move … called “Portal Vortex” which could open portals to other worlds. We all thought it was a joke, but if you’re saying you know the Stig, and you seem to be lost, then is it true? Are you from another world?”
“No! We’re from Earth!” Jeremy protested. She smiled further. “What?”
“Yes, he mentioned that he’d briefly gone to a place named Earth and had managed to return home to study what had happened, and that if he ever went anywhere again, he would visit Earth again as it had the friendliest environment of the few places he’d traveled to. I thought it was a bunch of hooey and all the time spent practicing his psychic powers with his Pokémon had made his brain snap a bit.” Troya stood and put her empty glass in the sink. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like some cake?”
“No. Wait. So. We’re on a totally different planet.” James tried to comprehend this. “And the only way of getting back is known by the Stig. Who is not on this planet. Is there any way we could talk to someone who could help us out more? Not that you’ve not been helpful. You’ve definitely explained a bit more clearly what’s going on. I think.”
Troya nodded. “I guess I could take you to Professor Oak. He’s the only one who seems to know anything about this besides the Stig.”She took their glasses and put them in the sink and then led them to a large building. As they entered, they took in the laboratory, full of very scientist-y looking things that none of them dared even breathe near lest they break it.
At the very back of the building was an elderly man typing away information from a notebook into a computer. Standing next to him was what looked like a blue bulb with feet and leaves sprouting from the top. It turned around and said curiously, “Oddish?”
The man stood and turned around. “Ahh, Troya,” he smiled. “What brings you here? And are these friends of yours?”
“Hi, Professor,” she smiled. “I… was actually hoping you could help us out. See, I saw these men near my ranch fighting against a bunch of Rattata and I wanted to make sure that they were okay. Turns out, they have no clue where they’re at and they know the Stig. You following me?”
Professor Oak raised his eyebrows. “Not really, actually. Would you care to elaborate? Sometimes I have no clue where I’m at thanks to my brain starting to go.”
Troya let out a tired, annoyed sigh. “What I’m saying, Professor, is that they’re not from this world.” She glanced at James. “And apparently these three men are very, very confused. They don’t know what Pokémon are and I was hoping you could try to explain it better than I can.”
Professor Oak’s eyes widened. “Oh, oh my!” He dropped the notebook he was holding onto the plant creature’s head and it yelped in outrage. “Oddish!” The creature gave a cry and Professor Oak scooped it up, patting its head gently. “I’m sorry, Oddish,” he spent a minute coddling the creature until it calmed down and then placed it back on the ground, where it began to wander around the lab curiously.
“Well, I guess the best place to explain is that you’re in a town called Pallet Town in the land of Kanto. This is a world where many different types of creatures like the ones you faced earlier, the Oddish you saw, and all sorts of others exist. For example, Troya has a Ponyta and a Dratini that she bought from earning enough coins in Celadon City.”
“Troya mentioned a Ponyta earlier?” Richard asked weakly. That name sounded somewhat normal. Pony, right? A nice, cute pony.
Troya grabbed one of the balls that were attached to her belt and tossed it into the air. It split open and the white light began to form the shape of an equine. However, when it materialised, Richard’s jaw dropped. It was a beautiful cream-coloured equine, but replaced its mane and tail, along with several jets of fire that streamed along near the underside of its belly on all four legs.
“That’s … no regular pony.” James said. Troya put her hand on Ponyta’s withers and patted it gently. It whickered at her and nuzzled behind her ear, and although the flames touched her, she did not flinch away. Richard reached out to touch the creature, which snorted at him, pinned its ears back, and the flames flared up angrily.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. She doesn’t know you very well, and she’s likely to burn you. Nope, this is Storm. She’s only a year old, so no racing for her yet. I’d prefer if she didn’t - I think when I start my Pokémon adventure I’ll use take her and Dratini.”
“Dratini?” James asked, almost regretting the words as they left his mouth. She clicked on the button of another one of the balls and he asked, “What is that?”
“This? Oh, right. This is a Pokéball.” She smiled at them. When she released the Pokéball, what formed as a blue snakelike creature almost six feet long. It curled up around itself and stared at them. “This is Dratini.” It had an innocent face as it watched them. It peeked out from around Troya and hid again. “It’s a naturally shy Pokémon,” she said, and ran her hand along its neck. It gave a purring noise and then disappeared back into its Pokéball at her request.
“Ah…” Richard began. “So, what… do we have?”
“Oh! I almost forgot! Professor, can you heal their Pokémon? The Rattata really wore them out!” Troya reached over and took the three Pokéballs from the men and handed them to Professor Oak who placed them on a table underneath several rays of light.
“It’ll take only a few minutes - I’ve come up with a new device that takes the healing properties of a Chansey and focuses them into a beam of light, as such. Once it enters the Pokéball, the circular factor allows it to reveberate throughout and intensify even more.”
Troya raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that’s impressive! That’s going to be a major invention for people in need of a fast heal for their Pokémon!” This was still very much over any of the heads of the three men.
Richard pulled James and Jeremy aside. “Right. So, what do we do? I mean, we need to get out of here, so how?”
James reached for his mobile. “Maybe we can get ahold of the Stig this way?” But even as he pulled it out of his pocket, he saw that they were getting no reception. He wasn’t surprised. He glanced at Jeremy and shook his head. “I’ve got nothing, then.”
“Well, if he could get us here, then clearly he’s refined how to do this where he doesn’t need his … Pokémon…” the word sounded strange falling from Richard’s mouth, “to help him. And I guess that means he can control it. So if we can get ahold of him, maybe he’ll bring us back.”
“But we have no way of getting ahold of him. Nobody else knows how to open the portal. So, we’re essentially stuck here.” James reminded Richard.
Richard paused. “What if time is different here? I mean, you read all those stories and watch all those movies where a day on Earth is like, a hundred years on another planet. What a day here is like century on Earth?”
“I doubt the Stig would do something that drastic. And if he had gotten to Earth and come back before, he could have figured out the time difference if there was one, and been able to figure it out for when he went back.”
“How do you think he managed to figure it out?” Jeremy interrupted.
Troya was standing off to the side and had been listening. She bit her lip and then approached them. “There’s a mountain that supposedly contains a water within that allows a Pokémon and its trainer to spiritually become one if they bathe in it, drink it, train beneath the waterfall, and essentially remain within it for a day.”
“Hey, James, it’s a Smart Car!” Richard proclaimed. “And, you don’t even need wee bags if you have to go!”
James snorted. “Do not bring that up, Hammond. I never want to experience that, talk about it, or even remember that if possible.” Jeremy was quietly snerking into his hand, having heard about it and decided to take the piss whenever possible out of James and Richard.
A moment later, Troya returns with the three Pokéballs for them. “Hey, here you guys go. If you want, I’m going to run home and try to see if I can start my journey today. And maybe you guys can come along for now? I mean, it might take a really long time to figure out how to get you home, and at least you could have an adventure while you waited?”
Her light brown eyes shone brightly and before they could speak, she had dashed off through the lab and was outside rushing home.
Richard bit his lip. “We’ve got nothing else to do. We’ve finished filming, and season eleven isn’t going to premiere for a few more months. And like James said, we are sort of stuck here. Besides…” He let his Pokéball open and looked at the fox-creature that was there. “It’s kind of cute. Maybe we can make the best of it while we’re here.”
His Pokémon looked up at him and then sprang from a sitting position, surprisingly nimble, and he caught it in surprise. “Oof!” he grunted. “Surprisingly heavy.” It sat in his arms contentedly, curled up around itself, and let out a sleepy, incredibly cute yawn before going to sleep.
“Ah, hello.” The professor had made his way over. “I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself formally. I’m Professor Oak, and I’m a Pokémon researcher. I’ve studied Pokémon all my life and found out some incredible things about them. One of them is the CHM, or the Chansey Healing Machine which I’ve shown you already. This is another.”
He handed them each three red devices, almost shaped like Jame’s mobile phone but more flattened. “This is a Pokédex. It records data on Pokémon you’ve caught or seen, and can give you information on Pokémon as well. Give it a try!”
He sounded so boyish that Richard hated to disappoint him and tapped at the little machine carefully. He located the power button and it lit up with a little ping of noise. “How do I use it?” He asked.
“Just point it at a Pokémon or an item that you come across and want to learn more about.”
Just for the hell of it, Richard pointed the Pokédex at the Professor. “Professor Oak,” the machine intoned in a robotic drone. “A famous Pokémon researcher. He has found out many secrets about Pokémon that were unknown until the last few decades. Considered perhaps the best Pokémon researcher of all time.”
Oak’s cheeks were as red as the Pokédex by the time it finished talking. “Try something else. Your Vulpix, perhaps,” and Richard tipped the Pokédex down. “Vulpix, the fox Pokémon. This Pokémon has only one white tail at its birth which splits and turns reddish-brown as it ages. Every night, Vulpix releaseas a flame from its mouth to release the internal heat from the fire within it.”
James gaped at the machine. “Fire?”
As if on cue, the Vulpix yawned again and a little jet of fire shot from its mouth. “Vuuuuul…” it murmured as it fell back asleep.
“What…” Jeremy stammered out. “What in hell is mine then?” He released his creature from the Pokéball, and it stood there, chirping and clinging to his leg. “And why is it so intent on me?”
“Pri-pri-priii!” it squeaked contentedly as it gazed at him with adoring eyes.
“Togepi. The spike-ball Pokémon. Its shell is considered to be filled with joy that it will bestow upon those who treat it kindly. Upon birth, the first creature it sees it will consider its mother.” Jeremy looked at the Pokémon.
“But. I can’t be the first thing it sees. It didn’t hatch in front of me…”
Professor Oak broke in. “No, but, if what I think the Stig did is correct, then he managed to give the Pokémon to you where it had no previous history with a parent. Of course, that’s implying that the Stig is what I think he is.”
Richard almost hated to ask. “What do you … think the Stig is?”
“I think,” the Professor began, “that he did manage to find a way to link himself with his Pokémon - but more than you would imagine. I think that somehow, he managed to transfer himself and his Pokémon into the same body, to share powers and lives. I know Bill, another famous researcher, did that once by accident. Of course, that was with a transfer machine, not something he ever meant to do.”
James wasn’t sure how to comprehend it. “So, the Stig… he could be like one of these?” He looked at Togepi, at Vulpix, and then let his own Pokémon out. “Eevee!” It cried. He assumed that was its name, and picked it up. Its little pink tongue emerged to lick his nose warmly and then sit down in his arms, fluffy tail wrapping around itself.
“Ah, you have an Eevee. A good starting choice for beginning trainers. Much easier to handle than a Vulpix or a Togepi.” Professor Oak stated, as if barely paying attention to what James had just said. “And, you have the choice of seven different evolutions for it.”
“E…evolutions?” James asked. His head swam with all this new information. As if on cue, the Pokédex began to speak.
“If a Pokémon has gained enough power and skill, it will evolve into its next level on the evolutionary chain. Also, Pokémon may evolve from a certain amount of happiness, by different stones, or by trading them. Then, James watched as a picture of a chubby, yellow duck-like Pokémon changed into a much sleeker, blue Pokémon.
Jeremy finally managed to get what they were all thinking into words. “This is a bit much - you wouldn’t happen to have some tea, would you?”
The professor did have tea, and offered them some outside his lab so that they didn’t risk spilling it. “Would you like to learn how to battle?”
“Whu-huh?” James splurted a mouthful of his tea back into the cup, coughing. “Us? We don’t want to fight! We just want to get back home. Well, maybe I’d like to kill him,” he pointed at Richard, “for landing us here. But that’s about it.”
The Professor laughed, albeit a bit nervously. “Yes. Well. No, I mean your Pokémon. Many trainers engage in battles together to increase their Pokémon’s strength so they can try to become Pokémon champions. Watch, I’ll have my Charmeleon battle my Seaking,” and he tossed two Pokéballs from his belt.
Emerging forth was a dinosaur-like creature. “Chaaaarrrr,” it breathed viciously. All three men took a step backwards as it turned its head towards them, narrowed its eyes, and breathed out a huff of firey breath.
In stark opposition, the Seaking flopped around in a nearby pond, a big fish similar to a German Carp. It looked somewhat defenseless, save for the large horn on its head.
“Alright, guys. Just a little practice battle. Nothing too extreme, okay, Charmeleon?” Professor Oak seemed a little nervous. “Use Flamethrowing on Seaking. Seaking, counter with Waterfall!”
The Charmeleon roared and released a jet of fire so thick and so powerful that the heat radiating off of it caused sweat to appear immediately on James’ forehead. But the Seaking began to swim quickly towards the Charmeleon as the fire approached and a crest of water formed around it that it rode on top of before crashing over the Charmeleon and nearly splashing the four men watching.
With a cough, the Charmeleon stood weakly and then stumbled dizzily. “Chaaar….” It breathed again, although much less mightily. As it fought to keep its balance, Oak said, “Seaking, while he’s down, finish him off!”
The Seaking leapt forward and slammed its horn into the Charmeleon’s own forehead. Immediately, the Charmeleon collapsed and lay there. As Professor Oak recalled each Pokémon, he smiled. “And that’s that.”
“That was brutal.” Richard said. He gaped. James looked down at the fox he held. “Can yours do that?”
“Probably not yet. By the looks of it, this Vulpix is still young. See how fairly straight her tails are? By the time she’s fully grown, they’ll be curled up around themselves.” Professor Oak broke in.
Jeremy looked at Togepi, which was still by his side, clinging in fear from the battle. He picked it up cautiously and stared at it. It danced on tiny feet until he poked it with a finger and it landed on its rear. It began to whimper and he groaned. “Does it do anything but make chirp noises and cry?”
“Well… it is a baby,” Professor Oak said. “Although you might want to watch out for Metronome. That can be a doozy of an attack. Mostly because you never know what you’re going to get!”
Just then, they heard shouting from the distance. Troya was running towards them with a bag over her shoulders. She skidded to a halt in front of them, panting heavily. “My mom said she doesn’t mind if I leave a day early!”
“That’s wonderful, Troya. I know how long you’ve been waiting to start your journey,” the professor said as he patted her shoulders. “Come inside, all of you, and I’ll give you some things to get you started.”
Once they were inside, he led them to a small room where he handed them all some bags emblazoned with a Pokéball mark on it. “Here, store some things that you find in here. I’ve started giving these out to first-time trainers so they have something on them in case their Pokémon gets sick or injured. There’s five Pokéballs, two potions, two antidotes, and two full heals. Which, if you’re curious,” he glanced at the men, “the potions will heal them quickly if they’re low on energy, the antidotes cure them if they get poisoned, and the full heals will fix them if an attack paralyses them, freezes them, burns them, or puts them to sleep, along with being poisoned. But it won’t raise their energy, that will remain the same.”
“Ah… huh.” James said. He glanced at his Eevee. “So, how do we know what they can do in a fight?”
“Well, if you look up Eevee’s attacks, it will tell you what attacks Eevee can learn. However, if your Eevee doesn’t have enough experience, it won’t be able to fight. Oh, and when you fight, you’ll earn money if you win. So you can buy some new clothes,” he said. James looked down and realised his were covered in dust and dirt from when he’d awoken lying on the ground.
“So, are you ready to go?” Troya asked. “We can head to the nearest city, Viridian City.” She smiled at them and although they were confused, James felt a sort of strange glee building up inside of him. This was completely mad, but it was the three of them together so they would figure it out in the end, and really, there was a hell of a lot that could go wrong but for now, they would just have to take it as they went.
“I guess,” he smiled. He glanced at Richard, who was gently stroking his Vulpix’s tails and eliciting little mewing noises from it. “Jezzer?”
Jeremy sighed. “I suppose. Are you sure we can’t talk to the Stig? Or maybe I can take that Charmeleon with me? It’s awful … fiery.”
Professor Oak and Troya gave a little nervous giggle. Professor Oak shook his head. “Ah, maybe you’d best stick to Togepi for now if you don’t want to get broiled alive by the end of the night. Don’t underestimate it either, it’s a powerful little thing.”
Jeremy frowned. "Right. Well. Let's get on our way then." The three men fell in line behind Troya as they began to walk. "I really am going to kill you, Hammond, when we get home."