(no subject)

[sonata_night]

Title: A Mild Proposition (3/3)
Author: Sonata Night
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: James/Richard
Summary: Richard and James continue to dance around their feelings for each other, but eventually something will have to give.
Notes: I swear, they will stop being angsty, eventually. ALSO - I AM A GIANT SAP AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THE ENDING.
Disclaimer: Fish are friends, not food - Erhm, I mean, all of this is purely from my imagination.



When Richard wakes up the next day, James is still halfway on top of him, face tucked against Richard’s. Richard stretches as best he can, but doesn’t want to wake James. Instead, he looks at James out of the corner of his eye, turns his face to stare at him directly.

James looks a bit like hell when he wakes up, most of his hair having flipped to one side and tangled itself, but he is not drooling on Richard, and that’s an improvement on Jeremy as a sleep partner.

Richard contemplates things. He is attracted to James. He wants to kiss James, and very likely wouldn’t mind shagging him. He’s got a great deal of affection for James, if he’s willing to admit it.

James yawns in his sleep, and his fingers, which are resting on Richard’s hip, tighten. Richard moves his own hand to cover, lace their fingers, and closes his eyes. Okay, here’s the real question - do you want to wake up to this? Is this attraction to him sexual, or is it something like a relationship?

He presses his forehead to James, inhales the scent of fading cologne, sweat, the slightly sour scent of beer on James’ breath, but most of all, he smells the James scent, and he feels James’ skin against his, listens to the slow, steady breathing coming from James, the very faint snoring, and he shivers. Yes, he does want that. He wants to wake up to this - and he’s not so terrified anymore.

He’s not so terrified as to what he wants, because he has just realised and come to the conclusion that he is falling for his best mate, well, one of them. Falling for Clarkson would be slightly worrying. But he is almost sure he is falling for James. And in the end, does it really matter that James isn’t some pretty bird that he met at a bar, or while waiting to see a film? Does it matter that James is his best friend, his male best friend, and his co-worker? Well, only the last thing, if things go terribly wrong.

But really, he’s not sure he cares anymore that being with James would mean he was… what, bisexual? All the cool kids are doing it, anyways. He chuckles at that thought and hears James hum.

“What’re you laughing at, you nutter?”

Richard opens his eyes to see James smiling at him. “You looked like you were enjoying a good dream, until you started laughing.” James tells him. He frees his hand from Richard’s to push his hair back and then puts his hand back down, propping himself up on his elbow. “So, what were you thinking?”

Richard fiddles with his thumb, bites his lip. “Not sure I want to tell you right now.”

“We are not getting pissed tonight.” James informs him. “Even if that seems to lead to us in bed.” Richard rolls onto his back and James tickles Richard’s stomach, making him twist and arch upwards, laughing loudly, belly laughter that shakes him all over.

“So,” James says softly as he lets Richard relax back into the bed. “We were having an interesting… discussion… last night and you fell asleep on me.” Richard flushes under his gaze, which he never would have expected from Captain Slow, except maybe there’s a flip side. There’s Captain Slow, who is sluggish and almost seems lazy, but then there’s Captain Slow, a deliberate side, one that may be slow but is also straight to the point.

And James is certainly getting straight to the point, moving close to Richard’s neck, placing very light kisses to his throat, palm flat on Richard’s thigh and moving up, up, to rub over his hipbone. Richard, out of curiosity, does the same. James has surprisingly prominent hipbones, and he curls up around himself so he can get to James’ hips, tug down James’ jeans and boxers, just enough to reveal the fine trail of hair down his stomach and beneath the edge of his jeans.

Richard lets his tongue trail over the raised line of James’ hip and realises that he can see the head of James’ erection just peeking out from beneath denim and pauses, brain racing. Well. There you have it. Maybe you should do something about it. This would be interesting. I mean, yes, you’ve come to accept that you’re quite attracted to him, but this would be James’ penis in your mouth. That would be new and slightly different.

Before he can think any further, he almost savagely pushes out the button on James’ jeans, shoves them down, and releases - Oh, lord. James wasn’t lying. He is … large. Wow. Well. Not abnormally large. But large.

“Uhm.” Richard says, staring up at James. He is staring up at his co-presenter with his mouth about an inch away from said co-presenter’s cock, and there is just something to be said about this. Uhm is not the word, but it’s about as close as he can get.

“D’you… want me to?” Richard asks, and his voice sounds like a shy little child. Seriously uncool. James blinks at him, looking like he’s still half-asleep except he’s not half-asleep, he can’t be half-asleep, he’s got to be as wide-awake as Richard is.

James nods, and Richard takes in a deep breath, leans forward, closes his eyes, and slides the head of James’ cock into his mouth. There is an instant reaction, a low inhalation of breath and a slight push of his hips forward, pushing further into Richard’s mouth.

It’s odd for about two seconds, and then not odd and he opens his eyes, looks up at James, and sees the dazed expression on his face. “I didn’t think you actually were going to.” James breathes out. Richard bobs his head slowly, and doesn’t take his eyes from James’.

He gets into a more comfortable position, instead of being hunched up over himself, moving so that he’s got one arm on either side of James’ legs and is stretched out along the bed. James’ fingers clench the sheets and then he reaches forward to thread his fingers through Richard’s hair. It is somehow so erotic to Richard, that he’s getting this kind of response from James, that he almost feels like he should make this even better.

He slides his mouth further down, almost completely enveloping James, and suddenly James gives a little gasp. Richard pulls back in worry, because that was a surprised sound, not necessarily a pleasured one. James, however, shakes his head. “No, no. Don’t stop, Richard.” His voice is shaking. “You just… your teeth scratched a little, but it felt good. Different - good.”

Richard hums slightly and starts a faster pace, watching the big muscles of James’ thighs flexing. James arches up again and again, harder and harder, and Richard struggles to breathe through his nose. This is a new experience and he thinks he’s doing rather well. James seems to be in agreement, if the soft gasps and low moans that are almost whines coming from his throat seem to be any indication.

And then James thrusts hard, groans loudly, and there is a bitter, salty, sharp taste in Richard’s mouth, covering his tongue but he takes it as best he can, swallows it down, and then moves up to look at James. “Hi,” he says. James touches his cheek with two fingers before leaning forward to kiss Richard.

“Hi.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

There is a very, very long silence. Finally James speaks. “Oh.” Richard quickly glances at James and sees a thoughtful expression on his face. “Well, I’m not sure I can say the same - but I’m flattered, if that means anything.”

“Breakfast?” Richard asks weakly, getting out of bed. James doesn’t move, stays where he is, staring at the ceiling, and Richard has relieved his bladder, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, returned to the bedroom, and James is still there.

“I think I’m going to go, actually. I’m not upset, Hamster, don’t worry.” James is up and about, moving to squeeze Richard’s shoulder, and now that Richard has admitted to himself that he’s rather far gone on James, that touch is electric and something that he can’t have apparently. “I’ll see you in the studio soon, alright?”

Richard pulls James into a tight hug before James can escape, and James wraps his arms around Richard and rubs the nape of Richard’s neck. “Yeah, yeah,” James mutters. “You have a good day, okay? I’ll call you tonight.”

Richard watches James leave with a heavy feeling in his stomach. He really, really hopes that he hasn’t completely ruined their friendship and that his dream isn’t going to come true.

Well, first, he’ll have to learn French and that’s not close to happening yet. He sits back on the bed. He’s not going to even bother trying to ‘get over’ James, because he’s never had very much luck doing that with anyone he’s liked. He’ll just try to not bring it up again. Ever.

But that’s easier said than done. James doesn’t call him that night, and Richard doesn’t mind too much. He figures that James got busy. But he doesn’t hear from James at all for the next two nights either, and when he finally does, it’s a quick call just to let him know that Jeremy wants to go out drinking, but he’s not particularly in a mood to do so, and is Richard? The answer is no.

The week goes by and he and James see each other, interact, smile, are in general, two of the three Top Gear presenters, but things seem off between them. Even Jeremy notices it. He pulls Richard aside one day. “What’s up between the two of you?”

Richard shrugs. “Nothing. I guess we’re just off this week. I’m sure we’ll be back to normal soon enough.” He walks off quickly, doesn’t want to continue the topic any more than he has to.

James looks at him a lot, and Richard wishes he could understand what the other man is thinking. He tries to broach the topic a few times and gets James nodding briskly, patting his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, we’re fine.”

James opens the door to his home, enters, shuts the door behind him. He’s just left the pub with Jeremy, Richard having turned down the invitation. He’d had two beers at the beginning of the night and then stopped, because he just wasn’t enjoying himself. He’d spent another thirty or forty minutes socialising with Jeremy, and then left.

In all honesty, he’d spent most of the night thinking about Richard, about what happened between them. Jeremy actually asked what he was thinking about and James had almost mumbled out, “Getting blown by Richard.”

That was a close call.

He sits on his couch, looks for something to watch on the telly, and finds nothing. He needs to think about things. He thinks about Richard, hunkered down at the edge of the bed, his mouth warm and slick. He thinks about kissing Richard and how Richard’s mouth seems to match up with his perfectly and how he reacts to being kissed right under his throat, by his collar.

This doesn’t make him gay, right? This makes him strangely interested in Richard, who eats cardboard and Richard, who is a bit hyper, and he’s pretty sure that he’s interested in Richard who is one of the few people who can make him laugh until it hurts, grin until he thinks his cheeks are going to break.

When Richard said he was falling for him, James panicked a bit on the inside. He had every right to, anyways. After all, only a few days before, Richard had been just … Richard. And now he was Richard who James would willingly let crawl into his bed and kiss him. A lot.

And maybe that’s what’s supposed to happen. Situations keep leading to this sort of thing, and they keep rushing away from them once it gets too heated, but everything about Richard seems to be indicating he wants to, and James has to admit that he’s willing to see what happens. He knows that he’s still lying to himself about how he feels, and he’s not ready to admit it just yet.

He can’t believe he’s about to do this, but he gets on the internet and begins to browse sites. First, he goes to google. “Ways to tell that you’re a homosexual”. No, that won’t do. “Flaming queer” isn’t much better.

Right. “Gay sex”. Aaaaand he’s clarifying that to “How to have anal sex”, because porn sites aren’t what he wants. Alright, “A Beginner’s Guide To Anal Sex”. He’s had anal sex a few times, with women, but h just went about it and he’s not sure they enjoyed it, and he wants, if they’re going to be doing this, to enjoy or to have Richard enjoy it.

He realises that he is, in fact, researching how to give and receive anal sex and clicks away. He is not going to go there. Maybe if they just enjoy kissing and maybe he and Richard can occasionally engage in oral sex like a few days previously.

Come on, May, you arse. Richard actually got down on his hands and knees and blew you, and you know he was half-scared witless about it, and you can’t even bring yourself to look at how to go about gay sex? Don’t you think you at least owe him the thought of it, since he was kind enough to do something to you?

He’s entered a sort of surreal state, seeing as he’s talking to himself about anal sex and being gay and Richard Hammond in bed with his mouth around his cock and things he never expected to think about.

He reopens the page, reads through it. When he sees the phrase “Get to know your butt”, he almost shuts off the computer and goes for a stiff drink. Eventually, he manages to at least calm his brain down enough to - rimming.

There’s a section dedicated to rimming.

After James has read through four different sites with much similar advice, he has come to the conclusion of several things. If he is, in fact, going to sleep with Richard, he will need to get lube. He has condoms. He doesn’t have anything to put Richard at risk, and he’s almost positive that Richard doesn’t either, but for the time being, he plans on using a condom if something like this is going to happen. And he needs to …

He needs to talk with Richard about this.

Richard grabs his mobile as soon as it rings, sees the number, and flips it open before it’s even begun the second ring. “Hello?” He asks, perhaps a bit too breathlessly.

“Ah…hello,” James says. He sounds a bit surprised that Richard has answered so quickly. “Were you waiting for me to call you?”

Richard leans back against the chair. “No, not really. But I was just … well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’m sorry that I dropped that kind of information on you, and started this situation between us -“

“Could you shut up a minute and let me in? It’s rather cold out right now.” James sounds a bit anxious himself. Richard stands and heads for the door quickly.

“You’re outside? What the hell are you doing outside?” Richard asks, even as he opens the door to see James standing there with a bag in his hand. “And what do you have in the bag?” He tries to peek as he hangs up, but James snatches it away.

“We need to talk.” James says. He walks in and heads to put the bag down on the living room table, sitting on the couch. “First things first, do you like raspberries or strawberries more?”

Richard furrows his brow. “Do I like raspberries or strawber-what kind of question is that?” James doesn’t respond, just looks around the room casually, but he can see the way that James taps his fingers against his kneecap, indicating that he’s nervous about the answer. “Uh, I guess I like both, but I prefer strawberries?”

James nods. “Good.” He gets up. “Are you mad at me?” Crossing the room, he stands in front of Richard, and Richard notices that he’s dressed up. Not a lot - but he’s wearing nice jeans that are pressed and a white dress shirt, collar down, buttons done up, and hair brushed straight instead of tangles surrounding his face. He looks attractive. And he smells nicer than usual.

“I’m not mad at you at all. I’m worried that I screwed up our friendship, and I wish I had never said anything because your friendship means more to me than, well, whatever else that was that went so very wrong.” Richard again tries to sneak a glance into the bag and again is shooed away by James, who instead goes to the kitchen, grabbing Richard’s wrist and taking him with.

“Later. You can look later. We’re talking now.” James tells him. “It means a lot to me too, our friendship. Is it really something that you’d take over seeing what would have happened had we kept up ‘whatever else that was’, as you’ve put it?” James peruses his face as he waits for an answer, and Richard worries that he’s going to let the man down somehow.

“I guess so. I don’t want to end up having you hate me.” Richard mutters, gets a glass of water, sips it. He isn’t thirsty but he needs to do something besides stand in front of James feeling naked and like he’s made a grave mistake.

James shakes his head slowly. “Hamster, you’re a bigger idiot than I originally ever thought you were. Do you think I could ever hate you?” He is smiling, a sort of relieved smile, and Richard doesn’t understand this at all.

“Why did you ask me about strawberries?” Richard answers. James ignores the question and waits for Richard to answer. There is a pregnant pause and then James gives in first.

“I never thanked you for the other morning.” He says. He moves closer. “I did a lot of thinking, and a lot of research, and read a few phrases that I never want to read again. And if this goes all wrong, I’ll take the blame.” He catches Richard’s jaw with his fingers, traces along it. “And if not, I’ll thank you again,” he says, very calmly.

Richard breathes in as James kisses him, his eyes fall shut and he wraps his arms around the other man. The kiss is slow and tender and far less desperate than any of their other kisses, and it sends little shivers all through him. The kiss is a James kiss, the flip side of Captain Slow, deliberate and straight to the point and absolutely fucking delicious.

And James is kissing his neck, doing something to his earlobe that makes Richard give a small noise of want, pressing Richard into the counter, and when did Richard get his fingers tangled up in James’ hair as he tilts his head to the side to let James have better access to the little pulse point in his throat, to kiss and nip and lick there?

“What…” he mumbles out finally. James pulls back and looks at him, and leaves the room only to return with the bag. When Richard is handed it, he looks through it. A box of condoms, a box of mints, and … “Why in bloody hell is there a bottle of raspberry lube in this bag?”

“The mints are for you - a sort of peace offering for the way I’ve been avoiding you, although I might steal one in the morning to get rid of any morning breath. That’s if you want me to stay.” James lifts the lube. “And as for the other two things, I should hope they’d be pretty obvious.”

Richard’s stomach drops, and his brain sputters out and dies. “I.” Not so intelligent.

“You.” James answers, intelligently. “And me.”

“I… yes?” Richard cannot believe how stupid he sounds, and James is starting to laugh at him, but that’s alright, because James is also kissing him again, little kisses even as he’s laughing that have hot air gusting into Richard’s mouth in little puffs until he’s laughing too. “This is fucking mad.” He manages to squeak out and James only laughs harder, until the two of them are almost in tears and Richard’s stomach hurts and he needs to break away to breathe or else he pass out.

“So?” James glances at the bedroom. “We can take this slow, as slow as you want, and we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I mean, I guess I’m ready for whatever you want to do.”

“We never answered who’d be the one to…” Richard pauses, fumbles.

“Who’d be the dominant one?” James supplies. “You can, if you’d like. Or I can. Or, like I said, we don’t have to tonight. Or until we’re ready.”

“Since when did you get so bloody knowledgeable about all this?” Richard demands to know, even as James pushes him gently in the direction of the bedroom.

“The internet, Richard. You should try it out. Real interesting things. Those phrases I told you about? Perhaps the most memorable one was ‘Get to know your butt’.” Richard starts laughing in disbelief. “No, really. I had this mental image of being all curled up trying to speak to my buttocks and having it respond.”

“Thank you for putting that into my head, I’d thank you to somehow remove it again - ah.” Richard lets out a sigh as James closes the door behind them and trails his finger along the vein of Richard’s wrist before kissing Richard again.

And then, there is nothing but slow, long, sweet kisses as James gently moves Richard from a sitting position to one leaning back against the pillows, and Richard pulls James closer to him, to lay alongside him, and it’s absolutely fucking perfect.

“How were you thinking about thanking me for, uhm, the other day?” Richard asks quietly when they separate and lie there, talking about nothing.

James tugs off Richard’s shirt, and Richard rolls onto his back as James undoes Richard’s trousers as well, slides those off. “Are you comfortable with this?” James asks. Richard closes his eyes.

“I’m lying naked in front of you and I have a feeling you’re about to do something to me that I was never expecting you to do. I’m still a bit in shock here, but yes, I guess I’m comfortable enough with this.” Richard hears James’ snort of amusement. “What, you try it and tell me how it feels being bare-arsed in front of me!”

There is the rustling of clothing, the sound of a zipper being undone, and Richard opens his eyes to see James in front of him, exactly as Richard has demanded him to be. James purses his lips, looks around the room, back at Richard, and sits on Richard’s kneecaps.

“Alright. I’m naked in front of you. I’m a bit chilly - you should keep your place warmer. But I see nothing too unnerving about this. I’m more nervous about this,” and he leans forward, lets the tip of his tongue run down Richard’s chest to his stomach, swirls a circle there, and kisses it, before continuing lower.

“Oh-nngh.” Richard manages to get out, quite coherently, he would like to believe.

“Mm-hmm,” James agrees from around Richard’s penis. “Hm. Mm?”

“Nnngh.” Richard responds. After that, the only sounds that he hears are his own, hard breathing and the squeaking of the bed, and occasionally the wet sound of James’ mouth sliding up and down his cock, and then the sudden disappointment of James pulling away. “What-“

James kisses him before he can protest, cradles his jaw and whispers softly to him. “D’you want to try it?” Richard knows what he’s referring to, and a million thoughts enter his brain to be replaced by one single word.

“Yes,” he breathes back, and brings James to him. “I guess… well, I guess I trust you to be the dominant one.” The words leave his mouth only half-realised and he watches James’ eyes widen.

“I was really expecting it to be the other way around,” James tells him. “You sure, Richard?”

“Don’t ask me again, or I’ll take off running for the hills. And I’m naked, and it’s cold out.” Richard replies. “Yes, I’m sure. If you make me think about this, I’ll get all confused, just like I have been before about us.”

James reaches for the box of condoms, opens it, slides out a purple foil package, and rips it open carefully, then moves back. Richard stares at the ceiling, trying to calm himself down. This is happening, this is really happening, is it going to hurt, oh god, this is really fucking happening, I-

“This is going to sound very technical, but you know me, and I don’t think you would have expected anything less from me,” James says in his ear. Richard has to smile. That much is true. “I’m not going to do anything until you tell me you’re ready, and until you’re relaxed. I mean, that makes sense, right? Being tense will make it hurt, being relaxed won’t?”

Richard nods. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” He kisses James, and the two of them position themselves until Richard has his legs spread and James is between them, sort of cradling Richard’s head with his hands while leaning on his elbows, and Richard can grip James’ biceps as his legs are pushed upwards slowly, over James’ shoulders.

James doesn’t know how to tell Richard that this is going to be fine, and tomorrow they’ll be fine, and they’ll always be fine, and he wants to have this tomorrow, and maybe always, so he just kisses Richard and begins to push gently forward.

Richard doesn’t make a sound but his mouth widens into a small ‘o’ shape, and James stops, waits until Richard moves his hips slightly, and eventually he’s most of the way inside Richard.

“Fuck, James. I thought you were big the other morning, but oh, fuck, hold on a minute.” Richard growls into his ear, fingers tight around James’ arms. When they relax a little, James asks, “Ready?” and Richard nods.

They go slowly, so slowly that James doesn’t think he can take it at times, but then Richard relaxes further and the unsteady movements of before become more steady, quicker, moving together, and Richard lets out a small moan.

James reaches to stroke Richard’s cock and it only takes a few strokes before Richard is arching upwards and rocking his hips forward against James’ thrusts, eyes squeezed shut as he reaches orgasm. James watches him, enthralled, and moments later is moving just as unsteadily as before, all rhythm lost as he moves fast and quick and comes hard, seeing stars for a moment. Shakily, he pulls back and lets Richard’s legs down, worried that Richard might be sore and asking that immediately. Richard gives him a rather pointed look, which James feels he quite deserves, seeing as it’s the man’s first time having anal sex. Of course he’s sore.

After they have detangled themselves, cleaned up a bit, and James has his chin propped on Richard’s chest, he asks, “Is it a bad sore? Or a good sore?” Richard glances down and gives a chuff of pleasure.

“And you call me an idiot.” Richard answers. “It’s a good sore, I guess. I mean, I enjoyed myself, as is evidence in the towel over there.” He motions at the towel that was used to wipe themselves off afterwards. “But I’m a bit too sore for another round.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m too tired for another round,” James yawns. “I’m an old man.” Richard moves down slightly so that they are face to face.

“Nah, Jeremy’s an old man. You’ll always be middle-aged and cute,” Richard says. “I’ll be the young and beautiful one.”

“My arse,” James exhales as they retangle themselves, arms and legs and fingers all locking up into neat positions. “I’m bringing you with me into middle-agedness.”

“As long as you bring me along,” Richard sighs, and he is content and James smiles, kisses him once more. It’s time to sleep now, but in the morning holds a future that James is looking forward to greeting.