(no subject)
it took him four days to realize he was sorry for what he did. i didn't expect to hear from him at all but yesturday while i was at work i saw his missed call. i don't i have ever been so freaked out over a voicemail until now. to hear him say "i am sorry and that i would really like to talk to you but if you don't want to talk i understand," was by far the most nerve wrecking thing ever. so many thoughts were racing in my head...what did he want? is he going to just beat the fact that he doesn't want to be with me some more or what?
he said he missed me and that what he did was wrong and pretty much careless. i made a few points about how he could have gone about things and shamefully cried in front of him. ugh; i hated crying in front of him. i hate feeling vulnerable but i am happy that it helped him realize how much i liked him.
so he and i are going to try to work things out and try to do things differently. i am not sure how to go about it. i feel more confused about his wishes but if doing things his way is what is going to make things work i am willing to make some sacrfices. I am thinking that maybe if i do less this time he will want more from me. (idk this also just sounds fucked up to me but whatever. i feel like i have lost some trust in him. like what if he does this again. i am always going to question everything i do from here on out. i feel very paranoid and uneasy now.)
i am going to let him do all the work because i just cannot relive those 4 days without him again.
he said he missed me and that what he did was wrong and pretty much careless. i made a few points about how he could have gone about things and shamefully cried in front of him. ugh; i hated crying in front of him. i hate feeling vulnerable but i am happy that it helped him realize how much i liked him.
so he and i are going to try to work things out and try to do things differently. i am not sure how to go about it. i feel more confused about his wishes but if doing things his way is what is going to make things work i am willing to make some sacrfices. I am thinking that maybe if i do less this time he will want more from me. (idk this also just sounds fucked up to me but whatever. i feel like i have lost some trust in him. like what if he does this again. i am always going to question everything i do from here on out. i feel very paranoid and uneasy now.)
i am going to let him do all the work because i just cannot relive those 4 days without him again.