this day of darkness
today is the aniversary of my mother's death. one year ago my mother passed away quietly on a hospital bed in the living room of her house.
its not just her death that i mourn, i also mourn foxy, and i hate to say it but also a relationship that was suppose to last forever. i not only mourn these deaths, but also the way my life was back then. i had stability and people who loved me. all that has gone. so many people, even those i wasn't really close to have abandon me in more then one sense.
adam is showing up tonight sometime after i get out of work. all week long i was excited about it. now i find myself in a hole of depression and the enthusiasm is more then lacking.
i hope i can pull it together and step up to the level of "good company" for the time he is here. no one wants to be around someone who is suffering.
its not just her death that i mourn, i also mourn foxy, and i hate to say it but also a relationship that was suppose to last forever. i not only mourn these deaths, but also the way my life was back then. i had stability and people who loved me. all that has gone. so many people, even those i wasn't really close to have abandon me in more then one sense.
adam is showing up tonight sometime after i get out of work. all week long i was excited about it. now i find myself in a hole of depression and the enthusiasm is more then lacking.
i hope i can pull it together and step up to the level of "good company" for the time he is here. no one wants to be around someone who is suffering.