(no subject)
I just "saved" a spider from the deathstomp that is my mom's foot, only I squashed one of his legs trying to catch him in a cup. I always make things worse for our springtime insect visitors. Now all the other spiders are going to be all up ons asking him about his battle wound. As an amputee he will receive admiration and respect from his tiny woodland friends. Maybe he will brag to the ladyspiders attempting to score a bootycall: " Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it hurt when some giant tore off one of my legs. Yeah. A giant." Probably not, seeing as how spiders don't score bootycalls. He's most likely limping in circles outside my front door trying to figure out where the hell one of his legs went.
Today my grandmother offered Abby an olive, who politely replied "...sure!" in hopes of escaping my grandmothers dislike. I could tell by the hesitation and the familiar look of fear that Abby doesn’t like olives. I've been in that situation many a time, eating things I hate to keep my grandmother from throwing down Italian curse words. My most treasured being when I hid a bowl of canned peaches in my room so that she would think that I ate them. She served them to me without asking me if I wanted them and was really mad at me for some reason, so I didn't want to pull the old " I don't really like canned peaches" routine because she looked like she would punch me in the face if it weren't for her arthritis. Some times my grandmother is fun but most times she is just intimidating.
My mom bought a book called “Daily Reflections for Highly Effective Teens” at goodwill with a reflection for each day to help motivate and inform today’s angsty teens. Today’s is:
If you’re not laughing much, what can you do to start again? I suggest developing your own “ humor collection”: books, cartoons, videos, ideas-whatever is funny to you. Look at it when you are feeling down or taking yourself too seriously.
This is a brilliant idea. Let’s make a time capsule and bury it ‘neath the tree o’ knowledge.
LAURAAAA.
Today my grandmother offered Abby an olive, who politely replied "...sure!" in hopes of escaping my grandmothers dislike. I could tell by the hesitation and the familiar look of fear that Abby doesn’t like olives. I've been in that situation many a time, eating things I hate to keep my grandmother from throwing down Italian curse words. My most treasured being when I hid a bowl of canned peaches in my room so that she would think that I ate them. She served them to me without asking me if I wanted them and was really mad at me for some reason, so I didn't want to pull the old " I don't really like canned peaches" routine because she looked like she would punch me in the face if it weren't for her arthritis. Some times my grandmother is fun but most times she is just intimidating.
My mom bought a book called “Daily Reflections for Highly Effective Teens” at goodwill with a reflection for each day to help motivate and inform today’s angsty teens. Today’s is:
If you’re not laughing much, what can you do to start again? I suggest developing your own “ humor collection”: books, cartoons, videos, ideas-whatever is funny to you. Look at it when you are feeling down or taking yourself too seriously.
This is a brilliant idea. Let’s make a time capsule and bury it ‘neath the tree o’ knowledge.
LAURAAAA.