029 + I'm looking in, and inside you're ugly, ugly like me. I can see through, see your true colors
So, did everyone like my presents? They are not for stupid Christmas, so don't even try to give me anything in return. I mean it. I won't open them. I do possess the willpower to resist.
As promised, Medea, the clock tower is now blue. And sparkly.
KONAN!
I've been thinking about that whole "dying, losing memories" thing. I don't want to lose my memories, obviously, but, if I do, I want to be able to read over this, so if/when I die, you guys are supposed to get me to read this and then enforce the ideas within.
The only reason Papa is able to read this is because he would find out eventually and I'd rather he get a narrative as well as a visual aid.
AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE A SINGLE POST FROM THE YOUNG LADIES SAYING HOW I LEAD A TRAGIC LIFE, NEED TO FIND LOVE, AND JUST REALLY NEED TO FIND ACCEPTENCE. No. If you do, our fucking friendship is over forever. I will not even talk to you in the next life.
Anyway, let's see. On with this show.
My home village is called Sunagakure - Village Hidden in Sand. It's almost entirely composed of ninjas. If you didn't go to the Academy to be a ninja, you were instantly part of the lower class. This was mainly because my village was the starting point of war. When I was born, there was a war going on. When I left, there was a war going on. There were wars going on twenty years before I was born, and twenty years after I left. It was pretty monotonous.
For full details on my parents, please advise me to read the book my mother left me with, which she wrote while she was pregnant with me. But the basic overview, for inquiring minds, is that my mother (aged 16 at the time) was reformed from her gang of shinobi delinquents by my father (aged 24) and they fell in love and got married four years later, when she was, you know, legal. For the next four years, they tried earnestly to have a baby, but either nothing happened, or they had a miscarriage. Finally, they had me, and I was their priceless little treasured imp of a child.
When I was a child, as with most everyone else, my parents were all that I adored. We lived with my father's mother - my mother was estranged from her parents and I never met them - Chiyo-baa. I'd like to make a note, here, that the only reason my grandmother wasn't on the arc was because they couldn't find another creature ugly enough to match her.
Anyway, my parents were always on missions, always away at war. I didn't have them very often, but I loved them all the same. I was very spoiled, as a child... which probably has had a lasting effect. I wouldn't know.
So, yeah, when I was six, my parents died in the war. To be more specific, they were killed by that scumbag Kakashi's father. After that, not to put too fine a point on it, my life was over, down in the dumps, etc. Not only was I suddenly known as "the Orphan" by the village children, but I was also forced to become a student in the Academy run by the Second Kazekage. The same man who ordered my parents' team into a completely mindless attack, thus killing them. Disgusting, much?
The other students, for some reason, hated me right off the bat. First day there, my books were ripped up, my shoe locker stuffed with trash, and I was shoved into a pile of burning hot sand.
And before you say anything, Schuldig, I did not deserve it. I hadn't even spoken two words to those kids, and hadn't even lifted my head during the entire class.
For about six months, I was a target for third degree torture via fellow students. I won't go into detail because, frankly, I don't mind if I forget these things entirely. Here's a general overview: matches on my bare arms, locked in a supply closet in 120 degree weather and then proceeding into evening time, in which the temperature drops below freezing, and, upon entering classroom, hallway, street, world, etc, they would all scream "FIRE!" and run for the windows, doors, nearest exit, because of my hair, the one thing I got, looks-wise, from my father. After six months, I committed my first act of murder, in killing two of my classmates, bare-handed. I was about to go for my third when an adult pulled me off him.
I don't ever, as long as I live, want to forget his face. Thankfully, there are several pictures in my possession, so please refer me to them if I don't known the Sandaime Kazekage's name. You see, while I had been at school, the wars were still going on, and the Second Kazekage had died and been replaced by the Third, the Sandaime. I vaguely knew of his existence from what my grandmother talked about at the dinner table. He was the best Kazekage we've ever had, hands down. And this magnificent being was in my school, pulling me off a fight.
And he didn't yell at me, either. Actually, he took me out of school, dragged me to a cafe and bought me a chocolate milk and a plate of gingersnaps. I had not had chocolate before, as my grandmother did not believe in giving children sugar... but I don't eat it without thinking about that day, because that was my last day in that dog-hole of a school. The Sandaime took me as his personal student, and I became a protege. He taught me everything, and I only went in once a week for the tests.
At the age of 8, I became a genin - a starting ninja, and most achieve this at the age of 12 or 13. At 10, I became a chuunin - a middle-class ninja, and at 14, I became a jounin, and started my job as sensei's personal assistant.
The village elders didn't approve of me. When I was sent on missions as the leader of a 4-man team, my teammates had a habit of coming back in coffins, or on their way into one. It was like those stories you hear about. "Before They Were Murderers". I first killed when I was six, and continued again when I was 10 on the chuunin exam. I liked it. That was all there was to it. I liked killing, I liked holding their lives, their hearts, in my hands. And everyone knew it. The whole village tended to avoid me, to walk on the other side of the street, even if it meant getting caught in a sand storm. Once, a pregnant woman was about to fall near me, so I reached out to stop her, and when I touched her and she saw it was me, she jerked away so quickly that she fell anyway and her baby died. Everyone blamed the fetus's death on me. Nothing they said could make the Sandaime send me away or lock me in prison, though. He found excuses, shouldered blame, and tried to channel my killing intent into direct combat. He loved me; in my world, there was only him, and in his world, there was only me. We didn't have a sexual relationship; it was quite similar to the one I have with Suzaku.
Then, when I was eighteen, I did it. It was awful. Zack's going to hate me momentarily for this.
Sensei had a sister with children. When she was on missions and he wasn't, he would babysit. By this time, I was living with him, so I helped. There were three - twins aged 5 and a baby about a year old. I loved that baby. I loved following him around while he practiced crawling, wiping his drool and guiding him away from danger. I wanted that baby. I didn't want him to grow up and hate me. So I... killed him. Sort of. I made a puppet out of his little body and took it with me.
That was when I realized, murderer-like, I could take whomever I wanted, make them into a puppet, and keep them forever as my own. And I knew just exactly who I wanted: my sensei.
That night, I ran away. I packed all of my worldly possessions, everything my parents had left me, into my scrolls, and left the village. That's illegal, by the way. If a ninja leaves the village without orders to do so, he is instantly tracked down and killed. I was more than a match for the seventeen ANBU teams they sent after me. Eventually, there was only one choice - to send the kazekage.
He - begged me. He pleaded with me to come back. The strongest man in our entire village - in the world, as far as I was concerned - got down on his knees and begged me to come back to the village. He would hide me, he said. He would make it so it never happened. His word was law.
I certainly did not want that. If I was hidden away like his favorite doll, eventually my name would fade, no one would remember me if I didn't carve my jutsu into their tongues for years to come. So - we fought.
For hours.
It was noon when we started, and past dark when we finished. And it was raining. You wanna talk about ironic?
Eventually, he took on more poison than he could handle, and he collapsed. I was injured in the arm and leg and had to crawl over to him. In the mud. It was very gross. Anyway, when I finally got over to him, after what seemed like hours, he told me he was going to die, and I told him no way in hell, and he said, for goodness's sake, not to argue with him this time. "I'm dying, and that's final," he said. He went on to tell me about how he wanted me to have happiness in whatever form I chose to find it; I have the exact words written down in my book. Please refer me to them.
I hadn't actually meant to kill him. Really. He wasn't quite dead when I got him. I gave him an antidote enough to keep him kicking and then I - well, I made a living puppet out of his corpse. See my book, chapter 17, page 23.
Of the chapter, not the book.
After that... I don't mind if I forget it. I don't like any of it any more. Sex, drugs, alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs, peeping Toms, emotional fuckwits and perverts.
And I was none of any but the first two. The others were the people I climbed into bed with so I wouldn't have to sleep by myself. Whatever. The rest is history, which I'd much rather forget.
If you read all that, kudos. If not... well, whatever. You didn't have to. It's more for me.
Oh, and Deidara was my partner for about 6 years in the Akatsuki, after Orochimaru left, because Orochimaru was my partner, before him. Oh, and it was mainly my fault he blew up Purgatory all those times, and blew up Misa, so don't tell him we were partners. Ever. If you do, I'll do something drastic and Schuldig will get my brain in a box. And we all know how unhappy that makes him.
Also. When I was in my ten rogue years before Akatsuki, I converted my body into a living puppet. This is also clearly described in my book.
As promised, Medea, the clock tower is now blue. And sparkly.
KONAN!
I've been thinking about that whole "dying, losing memories" thing. I don't want to lose my memories, obviously, but, if I do, I want to be able to read over this, so if/when I die, you guys are supposed to get me to read this and then enforce the ideas within.
The only reason Papa is able to read this is because he would find out eventually and I'd rather he get a narrative as well as a visual aid.
AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE A SINGLE POST FROM THE YOUNG LADIES SAYING HOW I LEAD A TRAGIC LIFE, NEED TO FIND LOVE, AND JUST REALLY NEED TO FIND ACCEPTENCE. No. If you do, our fucking friendship is over forever. I will not even talk to you in the next life.
Anyway, let's see. On with this show.
My home village is called Sunagakure - Village Hidden in Sand. It's almost entirely composed of ninjas. If you didn't go to the Academy to be a ninja, you were instantly part of the lower class. This was mainly because my village was the starting point of war. When I was born, there was a war going on. When I left, there was a war going on. There were wars going on twenty years before I was born, and twenty years after I left. It was pretty monotonous.
For full details on my parents, please advise me to read the book my mother left me with, which she wrote while she was pregnant with me. But the basic overview, for inquiring minds, is that my mother (aged 16 at the time) was reformed from her gang of shinobi delinquents by my father (aged 24) and they fell in love and got married four years later, when she was, you know, legal. For the next four years, they tried earnestly to have a baby, but either nothing happened, or they had a miscarriage. Finally, they had me, and I was their priceless little treasured imp of a child.
When I was a child, as with most everyone else, my parents were all that I adored. We lived with my father's mother - my mother was estranged from her parents and I never met them - Chiyo-baa. I'd like to make a note, here, that the only reason my grandmother wasn't on the arc was because they couldn't find another creature ugly enough to match her.
Anyway, my parents were always on missions, always away at war. I didn't have them very often, but I loved them all the same. I was very spoiled, as a child... which probably has had a lasting effect. I wouldn't know.
So, yeah, when I was six, my parents died in the war. To be more specific, they were killed by that scumbag Kakashi's father. After that, not to put too fine a point on it, my life was over, down in the dumps, etc. Not only was I suddenly known as "the Orphan" by the village children, but I was also forced to become a student in the Academy run by the Second Kazekage. The same man who ordered my parents' team into a completely mindless attack, thus killing them. Disgusting, much?
The other students, for some reason, hated me right off the bat. First day there, my books were ripped up, my shoe locker stuffed with trash, and I was shoved into a pile of burning hot sand.
And before you say anything, Schuldig, I did not deserve it. I hadn't even spoken two words to those kids, and hadn't even lifted my head during the entire class.
For about six months, I was a target for third degree torture via fellow students. I won't go into detail because, frankly, I don't mind if I forget these things entirely. Here's a general overview: matches on my bare arms, locked in a supply closet in 120 degree weather and then proceeding into evening time, in which the temperature drops below freezing, and, upon entering classroom, hallway, street, world, etc, they would all scream "FIRE!" and run for the windows, doors, nearest exit, because of my hair, the one thing I got, looks-wise, from my father. After six months, I committed my first act of murder, in killing two of my classmates, bare-handed. I was about to go for my third when an adult pulled me off him.
I don't ever, as long as I live, want to forget his face. Thankfully, there are several pictures in my possession, so please refer me to them if I don't known the Sandaime Kazekage's name. You see, while I had been at school, the wars were still going on, and the Second Kazekage had died and been replaced by the Third, the Sandaime. I vaguely knew of his existence from what my grandmother talked about at the dinner table. He was the best Kazekage we've ever had, hands down. And this magnificent being was in my school, pulling me off a fight.
And he didn't yell at me, either. Actually, he took me out of school, dragged me to a cafe and bought me a chocolate milk and a plate of gingersnaps. I had not had chocolate before, as my grandmother did not believe in giving children sugar... but I don't eat it without thinking about that day, because that was my last day in that dog-hole of a school. The Sandaime took me as his personal student, and I became a protege. He taught me everything, and I only went in once a week for the tests.
At the age of 8, I became a genin - a starting ninja, and most achieve this at the age of 12 or 13. At 10, I became a chuunin - a middle-class ninja, and at 14, I became a jounin, and started my job as sensei's personal assistant.
The village elders didn't approve of me. When I was sent on missions as the leader of a 4-man team, my teammates had a habit of coming back in coffins, or on their way into one. It was like those stories you hear about. "Before They Were Murderers". I first killed when I was six, and continued again when I was 10 on the chuunin exam. I liked it. That was all there was to it. I liked killing, I liked holding their lives, their hearts, in my hands. And everyone knew it. The whole village tended to avoid me, to walk on the other side of the street, even if it meant getting caught in a sand storm. Once, a pregnant woman was about to fall near me, so I reached out to stop her, and when I touched her and she saw it was me, she jerked away so quickly that she fell anyway and her baby died. Everyone blamed the fetus's death on me. Nothing they said could make the Sandaime send me away or lock me in prison, though. He found excuses, shouldered blame, and tried to channel my killing intent into direct combat. He loved me; in my world, there was only him, and in his world, there was only me. We didn't have a sexual relationship; it was quite similar to the one I have with Suzaku.
Then, when I was eighteen, I did it. It was awful. Zack's going to hate me momentarily for this.
Sensei had a sister with children. When she was on missions and he wasn't, he would babysit. By this time, I was living with him, so I helped. There were three - twins aged 5 and a baby about a year old. I loved that baby. I loved following him around while he practiced crawling, wiping his drool and guiding him away from danger. I wanted that baby. I didn't want him to grow up and hate me. So I... killed him. Sort of. I made a puppet out of his little body and took it with me.
That was when I realized, murderer-like, I could take whomever I wanted, make them into a puppet, and keep them forever as my own. And I knew just exactly who I wanted: my sensei.
That night, I ran away. I packed all of my worldly possessions, everything my parents had left me, into my scrolls, and left the village. That's illegal, by the way. If a ninja leaves the village without orders to do so, he is instantly tracked down and killed. I was more than a match for the seventeen ANBU teams they sent after me. Eventually, there was only one choice - to send the kazekage.
He - begged me. He pleaded with me to come back. The strongest man in our entire village - in the world, as far as I was concerned - got down on his knees and begged me to come back to the village. He would hide me, he said. He would make it so it never happened. His word was law.
I certainly did not want that. If I was hidden away like his favorite doll, eventually my name would fade, no one would remember me if I didn't carve my jutsu into their tongues for years to come. So - we fought.
For hours.
It was noon when we started, and past dark when we finished. And it was raining. You wanna talk about ironic?
Eventually, he took on more poison than he could handle, and he collapsed. I was injured in the arm and leg and had to crawl over to him. In the mud. It was very gross. Anyway, when I finally got over to him, after what seemed like hours, he told me he was going to die, and I told him no way in hell, and he said, for goodness's sake, not to argue with him this time. "I'm dying, and that's final," he said. He went on to tell me about how he wanted me to have happiness in whatever form I chose to find it; I have the exact words written down in my book. Please refer me to them.
I hadn't actually meant to kill him. Really. He wasn't quite dead when I got him. I gave him an antidote enough to keep him kicking and then I - well, I made a living puppet out of his corpse. See my book, chapter 17, page 23.
Of the chapter, not the book.
After that... I don't mind if I forget it. I don't like any of it any more. Sex, drugs, alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, megalomaniacs, peeping Toms, emotional fuckwits and perverts.
And I was none of any but the first two. The others were the people I climbed into bed with so I wouldn't have to sleep by myself. Whatever. The rest is history, which I'd much rather forget.
If you read all that, kudos. If not... well, whatever. You didn't have to. It's more for me.
Oh, and Deidara was my partner for about 6 years in the Akatsuki, after Orochimaru left, because Orochimaru was my partner, before him. Oh, and it was mainly my fault he blew up Purgatory all those times, and blew up Misa, so don't tell him we were partners. Ever. If you do, I'll do something drastic and Schuldig will get my brain in a box. And we all know how unhappy that makes him.
Also. When I was in my ten rogue years before Akatsuki, I converted my body into a living puppet. This is also clearly described in my book.