Frosty should be melted by now.
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Random thoughts (as if I ever offer any other kind)
1) I'm all about saving the fucking environment. It's keen and all. However, these paper straws? They don't work. Being compostable is great. Anyone who ever sucked on a pixie stick knows what I'm talking about. (Get your heads out of the gutter) Starting to compost while I'm still using you? That sucks. Figure it out soon or I'm unapologetically going back to plastic.
2) I hate my Blackberry. I might have to join a support group. If you love your Blackberry, just keep that to yourself, ok? Honestly, you don't need to be in touch with me 24/7. I promise I'm not that freaking interesting. In fact, I promise to demonstrate this to you.
3) Things that still attract me to women: Glasses (there's just something that does it for me), Pigtails (this is sort of a recent thing), Breasts (yes, this is the control group), Smiling Eyes (I can't really explain this, but some women just have eyes that smile. If I see it, I know it.)
4) Do you have a New York state inspection license? Yeah, I have all that shit tough guy. I'll come down there and start work tomorrow.
5) If I didn't have to work to pay the bills? I would just cut starfish in half, over and over again until I had my own starfish army. It would be like that old "Suave" commercial and I would have a kajillion starfish before too long. And you people would listen to what I had to say because hey, I'd have an ARMY of starfish.
6) How would you go about controlling a starfish army? Hmmm....
7) Dear India: Stop changing the names of your cities. I'll call them whatever the hell you want me to call them, but please pick one name and stick with it or it's ring a ding ding for you bozos.
8) I'm going to sell t-shirts that say "I knee-capped the Olympic Torch carrier". Seriously? Back in 2004 I posted in this journal that I was going to run up to the Olympic torch with a fire extinguisher and put it out.
Attention weirdos: I was only kidding.
9) Note that I observed the great LJ boycott of aught eight. I'm a union man.
10) Now that the Russians own LJ can I still use the phrase "pinko commie bastards"? I suppose we're about to see. If you can read this, I suppose that mantle has been officially passed to the Chinese.
11) I find it entertaining to send myself gmail with really weird things in it just to see what kind of advertisements show up when I open the email. You should try it.
12) My 3 year old peed into a cup without spilling a drop at his annual exam today. I could not have been prouder if he had invented a paper straw that wouldn't dissolve in water.
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Random thoughts (as if I ever offer any other kind)
1) I'm all about saving the fucking environment. It's keen and all. However, these paper straws? They don't work. Being compostable is great. Anyone who ever sucked on a pixie stick knows what I'm talking about. (Get your heads out of the gutter) Starting to compost while I'm still using you? That sucks. Figure it out soon or I'm unapologetically going back to plastic.
2) I hate my Blackberry. I might have to join a support group. If you love your Blackberry, just keep that to yourself, ok? Honestly, you don't need to be in touch with me 24/7. I promise I'm not that freaking interesting. In fact, I promise to demonstrate this to you.
3) Things that still attract me to women: Glasses (there's just something that does it for me), Pigtails (this is sort of a recent thing), Breasts (yes, this is the control group), Smiling Eyes (I can't really explain this, but some women just have eyes that smile. If I see it, I know it.)
4) Do you have a New York state inspection license? Yeah, I have all that shit tough guy. I'll come down there and start work tomorrow.
5) If I didn't have to work to pay the bills? I would just cut starfish in half, over and over again until I had my own starfish army. It would be like that old "Suave" commercial and I would have a kajillion starfish before too long. And you people would listen to what I had to say because hey, I'd have an ARMY of starfish.
6) How would you go about controlling a starfish army? Hmmm....
7) Dear India: Stop changing the names of your cities. I'll call them whatever the hell you want me to call them, but please pick one name and stick with it or it's ring a ding ding for you bozos.
8) I'm going to sell t-shirts that say "I knee-capped the Olympic Torch carrier". Seriously? Back in 2004 I posted in this journal that I was going to run up to the Olympic torch with a fire extinguisher and put it out.
Attention weirdos: I was only kidding.
9) Note that I observed the great LJ boycott of aught eight. I'm a union man.
10) Now that the Russians own LJ can I still use the phrase "pinko commie bastards"? I suppose we're about to see. If you can read this, I suppose that mantle has been officially passed to the Chinese.
11) I find it entertaining to send myself gmail with really weird things in it just to see what kind of advertisements show up when I open the email. You should try it.
12) My 3 year old peed into a cup without spilling a drop at his annual exam today. I could not have been prouder if he had invented a paper straw that wouldn't dissolve in water.
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