Everything seems like it's going great.. like nothings wrong... and then it happens...
Bobs fine.. said he'd tell me when he was going to die..
My mom isn't fighting with asshole at the moment..
I finally found a wonderful guy, and I haven't had the urge to screw it up..
I got a job...
I'm doing ok in school... Life has just been one great thing after the other...
Thanksgiving was awesome.. I ate to my hearts content.. and it was so nice to see my mom and my aunt getting along.. they were even putting the finishing touches on dinner together... but.. yea..
something happened... and I feel like crap.. I wanna cry.. I almost did.. I came home from shopping, and I went outside to clean the litter box.. I turned around and there he was.. just lying there... I looked at him and he looked at me... then he slowly and painfully rose to his feet.. and he started staggering towards me... walking slanted and rigidly.. I put down the litter box and walked up to him.. meeting him more than half way.. and then he collapsed..and started yelping.. he got up again.. walked in a few circles and fell in my lap..I sat there for a few minutes stroking and hugging his head... and then my mom came outside... she said "he's getting worse," and I said "he's pathetic.. I think it's time." She told me we'd wait a few more days and see if he'd get any better.. I walked to the steps him following behind a few feet.. he tried to climb up the steps staggered backwards and fell.. and he's still lying there... he can't get up.. it hurts him way too much.. you can't even touch his back... it kills me just to look at him.. the tears swell everytime I think about life without him.. I used to always say that when I moved out I'd take him with me.. but I can't.. he won't be here.. it's gonna happen.. soon.. real soon.. I've had him since I was 10.. and I love him so much.. the yard is going to be so lonely without him.. whos' gonna greet me when I come home from school? who am I going to trip over in the morning when I go to the bathroom? who will I feed my chips too? or popcorn? who am I supposed to lie down on the floor with? who do play tug-o-war with? I don't want him to go.. but I know..that if you truely love something.. you have to learn how to let it go.. he's in pain.. he's suffering.. and I can't bare to see him like that.. it's been 2 years since my dad died.. and he hasn't been the same since.. I think he knows.. and I think he misses him.. I think his heart is broken... just like mine... I love my dog.. but it's time for him to go.. and if he can't give up on his own.. will have to give up for him.. putting him to sleep is the only thing that will make him better.. and it's going to happen.. probably before christmas..