RIP Lagrima
My face and head hurt from crying.
My stomach is sick and I can’t sleep because all I keep thinking about is how much lonelier our life got without our beloved lagrima. She’s gone. She went into kidney failure this past week and there wasn’t much more that could be done to reverse it. We couldn’t stand to see her suffer another day, with all the weight loss and pain. We told Tavi the truth. She cried. Danny cried. I cried. No one wants to say goodbye. It’s too soon. Why. “Will she go to sleep and wake up? Her eyes won’t open?” Tavi asked. No. Her eyes won’t open. “But why?!?” Try explaining this to a 5yr old was not easy, but Tavi is a smart kid and although overcome with emotion I think she handled it as best she could. Danny and I are falling apart in the meantime and trying to stay strong for her too. It’s the first night I’ll spend without her by my feet knowing she won’t be back tomorrow in 10years. I mean, she’s spent the night over Danny’s parents plenty of times, but this is different. We got her because i pleaded for a dog before Danny went on tour with his friends. Since then, she’s been at my side for sooo much. She’s been a lot to handle too, don’t get me wrong. And there are times i felt so guilty not picking up on things like walking her, grooming her, etc. still. She never complained. Even at the end, she never whimpered. I can’t imagine the pain she must have been in. Shivering only happened when she was anxious at the vet or groomers. But toward the end I noticed it more at home and knew something wasn’t right. She wasn’t right. She lost so much weight.. and the last straw was last night when she didn’t even eat her chicken. My heart hurts. Tavi wishes this was just a dream and will wake up the way it was before. I do too.