OOO... that machine gun sounds like a sewing machine.
I need to get more exercise. My leg muscles are giving out on me due to me chasing a chihuahua around the neighborhood this morning. Apparently walking around UNM with a 20 pound backpack isn't enough.
Tito the chihuahua is generally a nice dog, as long as you stay away from him. He patrols the neighborhood whenever his owners forget to keep him in. I don't think he poops in the yard. There is no benefit to his patrols. There is no real reason for me to be mean or nice to him, but today I decided to be mean and chase him around. Well, a fear of humans and their cars is a healthy thing for a little critter like him. I need to work on the car part; Tito crossed the street in front of my car when I was driving around this morning as if he knew I wasn't going to run over him. Unrealistic courage is bred into toy dogs, unfortunately.
Right now I am attending classes at UNM as a non-degree student and I have been trying to decide whether I wanted to continue on with graduate studies in physics, switch gears and try Electrical Engineering (Optoelectronics), or go with an option I only started considering recently, a Master of Art in Secondary education. Recent events have made me realize that there is a major obstacle if I decide to continue on in the sciences. I may be good at math, but I tend to do slow, careful work. Even though that may be valued in the real world, there are stricter time limits in academia. There is an anecdote that Physics majors don't have social lives because they are too busy doing homework. I don't believe this, because I have witnessed the social lives of other Physics majors. It is because they are quick with math, not just smart math wise. It's been taking me ridiculously long to do my physics homework and I do horribly at tests because it takes me too long to work through problems.
This is the mindset that caused me to first consider jumping ship and becoming an engineer. The optoelectronics option, however, is the only suitable concentration in UNM's EE department that is really suitable for a physics person, except plasma and antennas possibly. Well of course, these are more akin to applied physics than circuit design stuff most of EE is about. It isn't physics-lite either, so I am likely to hit a wall with it as well.
I finally got the details of the Air Force program Dr. Devine was telling me about. It brings on students as early on as high school and is an excellent program for budding scientists and engineers. It involves part time employment during school and full time employment during the summer at the labs with a strong hint that the student, after reaching the end of his/her education, will receive preferential treatment and be non-competitively hired to a research position. I wish I had known about it way before now. Hearing about it now, when I am seriously considering heading in another direction.
It feels as though I am giving up some days. I could attack my speed problem by becoming so familiar with the math I will encounter that I can do it quickly. The problem is predicting what math I will need far enough in advance that I could have plenty of practice when the day comes. I can do it, but why would I?
Why would I want to do it? I lost my inspiration for becoming a scientist somewhere in Socorro; it feels to me that the reason I stuck with Physics is because I had nowhere else to go, because of my stubbornness, and because of my vanity. Shall I continue on just because of my vanity?
I want to contribute to society, not to my ego. I might be able to do that as a scientist or an engineer, but that dream seems to be getting further and further away each day. Unless I find my inspiration again, I would have to feed the uglier side of my personality to realize that dream.
The good thing about my light schedule is that I get to bother more people with my problems. Tomorrow will be busy, hopefully.
Tito the chihuahua is generally a nice dog, as long as you stay away from him. He patrols the neighborhood whenever his owners forget to keep him in. I don't think he poops in the yard. There is no benefit to his patrols. There is no real reason for me to be mean or nice to him, but today I decided to be mean and chase him around. Well, a fear of humans and their cars is a healthy thing for a little critter like him. I need to work on the car part; Tito crossed the street in front of my car when I was driving around this morning as if he knew I wasn't going to run over him. Unrealistic courage is bred into toy dogs, unfortunately.
Right now I am attending classes at UNM as a non-degree student and I have been trying to decide whether I wanted to continue on with graduate studies in physics, switch gears and try Electrical Engineering (Optoelectronics), or go with an option I only started considering recently, a Master of Art in Secondary education. Recent events have made me realize that there is a major obstacle if I decide to continue on in the sciences. I may be good at math, but I tend to do slow, careful work. Even though that may be valued in the real world, there are stricter time limits in academia. There is an anecdote that Physics majors don't have social lives because they are too busy doing homework. I don't believe this, because I have witnessed the social lives of other Physics majors. It is because they are quick with math, not just smart math wise. It's been taking me ridiculously long to do my physics homework and I do horribly at tests because it takes me too long to work through problems.
This is the mindset that caused me to first consider jumping ship and becoming an engineer. The optoelectronics option, however, is the only suitable concentration in UNM's EE department that is really suitable for a physics person, except plasma and antennas possibly. Well of course, these are more akin to applied physics than circuit design stuff most of EE is about. It isn't physics-lite either, so I am likely to hit a wall with it as well.
I finally got the details of the Air Force program Dr. Devine was telling me about. It brings on students as early on as high school and is an excellent program for budding scientists and engineers. It involves part time employment during school and full time employment during the summer at the labs with a strong hint that the student, after reaching the end of his/her education, will receive preferential treatment and be non-competitively hired to a research position. I wish I had known about it way before now. Hearing about it now, when I am seriously considering heading in another direction.
It feels as though I am giving up some days. I could attack my speed problem by becoming so familiar with the math I will encounter that I can do it quickly. The problem is predicting what math I will need far enough in advance that I could have plenty of practice when the day comes. I can do it, but why would I?
Why would I want to do it? I lost my inspiration for becoming a scientist somewhere in Socorro; it feels to me that the reason I stuck with Physics is because I had nowhere else to go, because of my stubbornness, and because of my vanity. Shall I continue on just because of my vanity?
I want to contribute to society, not to my ego. I might be able to do that as a scientist or an engineer, but that dream seems to be getting further and further away each day. Unless I find my inspiration again, I would have to feed the uglier side of my personality to realize that dream.
The good thing about my light schedule is that I get to bother more people with my problems. Tomorrow will be busy, hopefully.