(no subject)
Okay...
Another paper gone as of yesterday. this leaves two. one due tomorrow and the last (fuck! finally!) next thursday. I think the first and the last papers will do the best. i think even though my australian history paper was 500 words short of 3,000 i will still get an ok grade. it's my african american studies one due tomorrow i think will suck ass. i mean, seriously, when your question for the paper is about facts, how do you come up with a "unique" argument that doesnt just "state facts" but offers insight???? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. HOW!!!??? that is what i am supposed to do. fuck uni is gay. gay gay gay. yeah it is LITERALLY GAY, it likes other uni's of the same gender. dont be offended. a gay uni is not the point here!
I had a very serious conversation with my mom the other night. i finally told her all the shit thats happened last week and she was actually alright with it. i was really paranoid if i mentioned anything she'd end up a nervous wreck bugging me 24/7 when there's nothing i can really do about any of it. She admitted that she isnt that happy about dave still living at home and how they do that shit. I mean after a while the excuse of "well, thats just how we are in europe" is wearing thin. i mean, he has a job, and car and so....WHY isnt he gone yet? His parents are so fucking annoying sometimes. i dont want to bitch about it to dave anymore, but FUCK it doesnt stop the fact that no matter how a family is meant to be in europe, that it doesnt mean your FUCKING UP your kid by keeping them at home till they're 30 and babying them so they arent socialised for the world. my mom ended up saying that she thinks he's really nice but she wont be surprised if he doesnt get his act together soon and we break up. one of the three deal breakers in a relationship i think is staying a child so your partner is the "mother figure", i went through that with lyndon, i dont need it now. i think if dave doesnt get going with being an adult within the next year or so, then he'll get a sobering realisation from me...
it would be really fucking awful if we broke up. i dont want him to stay like this, i want him to get on with life, and draw some fucking BOUNDARIES with his parents. he thinks i want him to tell them to fuck off, which is not even close to what i fucking want. he needs to tell them that one of the fundementals of LIFE is to make a mistake and LEARN from it. But no, not with them. if they do actually allow dave to do something and he fucks it up once they real him back in and take over. they dont actually see if he can do it right a second time, he just ends up getting everything done for him and they wonder why he comes across as lazy.....fuckheads...
apparently even my dad from america thought he needed to be alot different than what he is despite being a really nice guy. even my dad, who is a bachelor himself and can do whatever he wants realises that at 26, one should be laying a foundation for later on. dave has all the goals of course....but waits and waits for some kind of push or happy miracle to land in his lap....like money. yeah, he's worked heaps and done shit jobs, but he never keeps the job. even if he didnt get fired from the one before he has now, he still wouldnt be saving. there's always something. his perfect excuse was that he wanted the money for the trip to czech, forgetting he had 4 years before that to do something useful.
i am really sounding like a bitch. not at all how i feel about him. dave doesnt have a lot of negative aspects to him, but the ones he does have are huge and burdensome for me. i just dont know anymore. at first i thought his going away would be really horrible, but maybe it'll be like he never left, becuase even when we hang out there's been nothing special done. we just hang out. i wish we actually went out to dinner sometimes, but since we dont, it'll be fine always eating in and not seeing anybody. i really dont think he'll be thinking of me much. he says he'll miss me, but he wont the way i will. all i want is dave to take care of me. thats what i really want. someone like dave to support me and make sure i am not falling to pieces.
i guess i just have to wait and see.
Another paper gone as of yesterday. this leaves two. one due tomorrow and the last (fuck! finally!) next thursday. I think the first and the last papers will do the best. i think even though my australian history paper was 500 words short of 3,000 i will still get an ok grade. it's my african american studies one due tomorrow i think will suck ass. i mean, seriously, when your question for the paper is about facts, how do you come up with a "unique" argument that doesnt just "state facts" but offers insight???? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. HOW!!!??? that is what i am supposed to do. fuck uni is gay. gay gay gay. yeah it is LITERALLY GAY, it likes other uni's of the same gender. dont be offended. a gay uni is not the point here!
I had a very serious conversation with my mom the other night. i finally told her all the shit thats happened last week and she was actually alright with it. i was really paranoid if i mentioned anything she'd end up a nervous wreck bugging me 24/7 when there's nothing i can really do about any of it. She admitted that she isnt that happy about dave still living at home and how they do that shit. I mean after a while the excuse of "well, thats just how we are in europe" is wearing thin. i mean, he has a job, and car and so....WHY isnt he gone yet? His parents are so fucking annoying sometimes. i dont want to bitch about it to dave anymore, but FUCK it doesnt stop the fact that no matter how a family is meant to be in europe, that it doesnt mean your FUCKING UP your kid by keeping them at home till they're 30 and babying them so they arent socialised for the world. my mom ended up saying that she thinks he's really nice but she wont be surprised if he doesnt get his act together soon and we break up. one of the three deal breakers in a relationship i think is staying a child so your partner is the "mother figure", i went through that with lyndon, i dont need it now. i think if dave doesnt get going with being an adult within the next year or so, then he'll get a sobering realisation from me...
it would be really fucking awful if we broke up. i dont want him to stay like this, i want him to get on with life, and draw some fucking BOUNDARIES with his parents. he thinks i want him to tell them to fuck off, which is not even close to what i fucking want. he needs to tell them that one of the fundementals of LIFE is to make a mistake and LEARN from it. But no, not with them. if they do actually allow dave to do something and he fucks it up once they real him back in and take over. they dont actually see if he can do it right a second time, he just ends up getting everything done for him and they wonder why he comes across as lazy.....fuckheads...
apparently even my dad from america thought he needed to be alot different than what he is despite being a really nice guy. even my dad, who is a bachelor himself and can do whatever he wants realises that at 26, one should be laying a foundation for later on. dave has all the goals of course....but waits and waits for some kind of push or happy miracle to land in his lap....like money. yeah, he's worked heaps and done shit jobs, but he never keeps the job. even if he didnt get fired from the one before he has now, he still wouldnt be saving. there's always something. his perfect excuse was that he wanted the money for the trip to czech, forgetting he had 4 years before that to do something useful.
i am really sounding like a bitch. not at all how i feel about him. dave doesnt have a lot of negative aspects to him, but the ones he does have are huge and burdensome for me. i just dont know anymore. at first i thought his going away would be really horrible, but maybe it'll be like he never left, becuase even when we hang out there's been nothing special done. we just hang out. i wish we actually went out to dinner sometimes, but since we dont, it'll be fine always eating in and not seeing anybody. i really dont think he'll be thinking of me much. he says he'll miss me, but he wont the way i will. all i want is dave to take care of me. thats what i really want. someone like dave to support me and make sure i am not falling to pieces.
i guess i just have to wait and see.