(no subject)
this is my first public post since july. i find that both interesting and depressing, seeing how the topics of discussion have not been light enough for me to not care who reads them. of course, it also must be noted that for some time ive been only making about one post per month, if that, anyway.
life is "meh" right now. which believe it or not, is good. i have been so low the past few months, i'm glad to be able to say im not in such a rut anymore. i find that i've been thinking a lot lately. about everything, really. i'll be doing homework and then all the sudden i wake up from a dream-like state, and 20 minutes will have passed by from just thinking of happenings and possibilities and wants and life in general.
i dont like thinking about things like i have been, so much. it just takes away time from homework and things that i really need to be doing instead. i'm glad that i'm a dreamer but it also can be a hindrance at certain times.
i do think that everything happens for a reason, so everything will be alright eventually. hopefully sooner than later, but doubtful. i know life is a rollercoaster for everyone, but it really would be nice to have more ups than downs at some point. i'm happy to have the friends i have, who at least try to help me out when things get bad, or else i would be sooo very emo right now :P
my classes suck, my parents are killing me and i'm afraid one of these days i'm going to zonk out for too long when driving home from kzoo and really mess things up. i've already almost gotten in a car accident once and that freaked the bajeebees out of me.
as i've gotten older i've turned out to be kind of a loner, and that fine with me. i dont mind spending time alone sometimes and taking a break from all the stress that i've been overwhelmed with. but the problem is that while i dont mind being alone at times, i dont want to be lonely.
i like the type of person i am, and i want to stay that type of person. itd be so much easier if i could find someone/more people who like me enough just the way i am.
ugh. i dont want to grow up.
life is "meh" right now. which believe it or not, is good. i have been so low the past few months, i'm glad to be able to say im not in such a rut anymore. i find that i've been thinking a lot lately. about everything, really. i'll be doing homework and then all the sudden i wake up from a dream-like state, and 20 minutes will have passed by from just thinking of happenings and possibilities and wants and life in general.
i dont like thinking about things like i have been, so much. it just takes away time from homework and things that i really need to be doing instead. i'm glad that i'm a dreamer but it also can be a hindrance at certain times.
i do think that everything happens for a reason, so everything will be alright eventually. hopefully sooner than later, but doubtful. i know life is a rollercoaster for everyone, but it really would be nice to have more ups than downs at some point. i'm happy to have the friends i have, who at least try to help me out when things get bad, or else i would be sooo very emo right now :P
my classes suck, my parents are killing me and i'm afraid one of these days i'm going to zonk out for too long when driving home from kzoo and really mess things up. i've already almost gotten in a car accident once and that freaked the bajeebees out of me.
as i've gotten older i've turned out to be kind of a loner, and that fine with me. i dont mind spending time alone sometimes and taking a break from all the stress that i've been overwhelmed with. but the problem is that while i dont mind being alone at times, i dont want to be lonely.
i like the type of person i am, and i want to stay that type of person. itd be so much easier if i could find someone/more people who like me enough just the way i am.
ugh. i dont want to grow up.