Coruscant, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (or Tuesday, FH time)
It was late at night when Jaina gave up on sleep, heading to the kitchen of her family's apartment on Coruscant. She'd finally finished packing, not caring too much about what she brought. She was used to packing. It was just that not knowing too much about the climate or exactly how long she would be gone made it difficult. She'd done her best, but at the same time she wondered if she hadn't focused on it to take her mind off of other things.
To her surprise, Jacen was already at the table with a cup of caf. "Couldn't sleep, either?" she asked.
"You were broadcasting," Jacen explained. "I thought you would have been out here a while ago."
Jaina grimaced as she sat across from him at the table. "Sorry about that."
He didn't acknowledge the apology, since he'd done this to her so many times lately. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "It's been busy, that's all."
Recently, she'd been involved in three battles, nearly lost a brother, lost Chewbacca, saw her family start to crack and been told she was being sent away. For someone who didn't like to think about things too much, all of that at once made it difficult.
"You don't want to be going, do you?"
That was a gimme. "I want to be signing up with one of the squadrons and giving the Vong a fight," she answered.
"So why go?"
That was a complicated answer, which boiled down to, "Because Mara wants me to."
"She wanted to be the one to go to Helska, too, but we didn't let her," Jacen pointed out.
"We took the choice away from her," said Jaina, who still believed that hijacking the mission away from Luke and Mara was the right thing to do. But that wasn't the point.
"And with good reason. She wouldn't have lasted."
It was kind of hard, hearing it put that bluntly. Since Mara fell ill, she'd been visibly weak but still insisting that no one treat her any differently, sometimes even refusing to let people acknowledge the fact that she had a disease. But after her illness had caused a spell that endangered both Mara and Jaina, there had been a Talk, and Jaina had been so surprised by the fact that Mara was admitting- well, not in so many words- that maybe she wasn't up to training her until she knew she wouldn't get her hurt, that she'd agreed to go off to this school she'd found.
"Maybe not," said Jaina, not willing to say anything definite on the matter, "but the Vong could have vaped me and I would have been helpless to do anything about it. There's a lot I still need to learn."
"In another galaxy?" Jacen asked.
"I'll be on my own trying to exercise better judgment," she said evenly.
"Or you could just train with Uncle Luke."
"Who has you and Anakin, is dealing with Mara's illness on top of the Jedi divide and the fun that is the political arena. I don't think he needs an extra person depending on him."
"There are others," said Jacen. "Kam, Corran..."
"Kyp."
Jacen choked on his caf, and wiped at his chin. "You're cruel."
"Sorry," Jaina grinned. No, she wasn't. "Relax, he's the last person I want teaching me anything. I don't want another teacher. I'm thinking of this as a chance to explore my skills without someone telling me how. It's like figuring out how I could use the Force to help me run the belt. It's just a test."
"You're in no way ready for that," said Jacen.
Jaina was pretty sure she was. No, she wasn't ready to abandon her apprenticeship with Mara, and she had no desire to do so. However, she knew Mara had done right by her. Her brothers found any excuse to bicker about the nature of the Force and how it should be used, but Jaina just shut up and dealt with it, and she was more secure in her place because of it. "Then I'll find out for myself," she said calmly. "And this isn't permanent. I'll be back, and when I am, I'll be getting in the first ship I can to do as much damage as possible. But I want to know that I'm prepared to do that."
That wasn't the entire truth.
"It's not going to be the same without you," he said. And she knew it wasn't clinginess on Jacen's part. They'd just always been together, since they were born. They hadn't really ever had separate adventures.
Jaina shrugged. "A hundred Jedi in the galaxy, you'll be too busy going on missions to miss me."
"And I won't miss the verbal smackings..."
"And try not to do anything that would make me smack you," she said. "Verbally or otherwise. We're not playing kids' games anymore, Jacen."
"That's why I'd rather you stayed," he admitted. "Selfishness aside, we need you. The Jedi need you."
She didn't say it, but she knew the military needed her more. With the anti-Jedi sentiment going around, at least in a squadron she knew she'd be able to do some good without having to worry about politics. "They'll get me," she promised.
He nodded, falling quiet for a moment. "When do you leave?"
"My transport leaves in the afternoon. Enough time to pack." Or to finish fixing the comlink she'd give to Jacen tomorrow before leaving. She should be able to talk to him from Earth that way, and that should make them both feel better.
"Big day ahead," he said, a little reluctantly.
"And we should both get some sleep," Jaina agreed.
Jacen looked at his mug. "Yeah... maybe the caf was a bad idea then."
To her surprise, Jacen was already at the table with a cup of caf. "Couldn't sleep, either?" she asked.
"You were broadcasting," Jacen explained. "I thought you would have been out here a while ago."
Jaina grimaced as she sat across from him at the table. "Sorry about that."
He didn't acknowledge the apology, since he'd done this to her so many times lately. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "It's been busy, that's all."
Recently, she'd been involved in three battles, nearly lost a brother, lost Chewbacca, saw her family start to crack and been told she was being sent away. For someone who didn't like to think about things too much, all of that at once made it difficult.
"You don't want to be going, do you?"
That was a gimme. "I want to be signing up with one of the squadrons and giving the Vong a fight," she answered.
"So why go?"
That was a complicated answer, which boiled down to, "Because Mara wants me to."
"She wanted to be the one to go to Helska, too, but we didn't let her," Jacen pointed out.
"We took the choice away from her," said Jaina, who still believed that hijacking the mission away from Luke and Mara was the right thing to do. But that wasn't the point.
"And with good reason. She wouldn't have lasted."
It was kind of hard, hearing it put that bluntly. Since Mara fell ill, she'd been visibly weak but still insisting that no one treat her any differently, sometimes even refusing to let people acknowledge the fact that she had a disease. But after her illness had caused a spell that endangered both Mara and Jaina, there had been a Talk, and Jaina had been so surprised by the fact that Mara was admitting- well, not in so many words- that maybe she wasn't up to training her until she knew she wouldn't get her hurt, that she'd agreed to go off to this school she'd found.
"Maybe not," said Jaina, not willing to say anything definite on the matter, "but the Vong could have vaped me and I would have been helpless to do anything about it. There's a lot I still need to learn."
"In another galaxy?" Jacen asked.
"I'll be on my own trying to exercise better judgment," she said evenly.
"Or you could just train with Uncle Luke."
"Who has you and Anakin, is dealing with Mara's illness on top of the Jedi divide and the fun that is the political arena. I don't think he needs an extra person depending on him."
"There are others," said Jacen. "Kam, Corran..."
"Kyp."
Jacen choked on his caf, and wiped at his chin. "You're cruel."
"Sorry," Jaina grinned. No, she wasn't. "Relax, he's the last person I want teaching me anything. I don't want another teacher. I'm thinking of this as a chance to explore my skills without someone telling me how. It's like figuring out how I could use the Force to help me run the belt. It's just a test."
"You're in no way ready for that," said Jacen.
Jaina was pretty sure she was. No, she wasn't ready to abandon her apprenticeship with Mara, and she had no desire to do so. However, she knew Mara had done right by her. Her brothers found any excuse to bicker about the nature of the Force and how it should be used, but Jaina just shut up and dealt with it, and she was more secure in her place because of it. "Then I'll find out for myself," she said calmly. "And this isn't permanent. I'll be back, and when I am, I'll be getting in the first ship I can to do as much damage as possible. But I want to know that I'm prepared to do that."
That wasn't the entire truth.
"It's not going to be the same without you," he said. And she knew it wasn't clinginess on Jacen's part. They'd just always been together, since they were born. They hadn't really ever had separate adventures.
Jaina shrugged. "A hundred Jedi in the galaxy, you'll be too busy going on missions to miss me."
"And I won't miss the verbal smackings..."
"And try not to do anything that would make me smack you," she said. "Verbally or otherwise. We're not playing kids' games anymore, Jacen."
"That's why I'd rather you stayed," he admitted. "Selfishness aside, we need you. The Jedi need you."
She didn't say it, but she knew the military needed her more. With the anti-Jedi sentiment going around, at least in a squadron she knew she'd be able to do some good without having to worry about politics. "They'll get me," she promised.
He nodded, falling quiet for a moment. "When do you leave?"
"My transport leaves in the afternoon. Enough time to pack." Or to finish fixing the comlink she'd give to Jacen tomorrow before leaving. She should be able to talk to him from Earth that way, and that should make them both feel better.
"Big day ahead," he said, a little reluctantly.
"And we should both get some sleep," Jaina agreed.
Jacen looked at his mug. "Yeah... maybe the caf was a bad idea then."