Who's there when you need them? Not "Friends"
I have to say, I'm extremely disappointed in my friends. (Note, I didn't put quotation marks around it. I'm not that bitter [yet]). I mean, I must have given a total of, I don't know, 15-20 people 4 different ways to contact me and have any of them? No. It's like I'm a fucking afterthought. It's like, they come online after a hard day of hanging out and see me on and it's like, "Oh, We need to hang out!" But do we? No, of course not. So why do you say that? Pity? Obligation? To string me along?
Summer has been here for 2 official weeks, 3 for those who didn't have to take exams. And so far, only 2-3 people have actually made plans with me and KEPT them. -sigh-
It's so damn frustrating, because at least summers before, there was a reason why people weren't hanging out with me and I found myself isolated. The reason? They couldn't drive, couldn't call or contact me, etc. But now that I made sure that every single one of my friends had a way to contact me, how many are actually doing it? one of my guy friends said he'd call me anytime he wasn't working, but he hasn't called once.
It stings. It tears my heart like a knife, knowing that they have forgotten me. One of my friends, when I talked to him online, he actually said that he forgets to read my xanga, but the love was still there. Yeah, right. How can you love something you forget? And yet, he dutifully comments on others' xanga. But not mine. It's like that a lot.
Am I just a friend of convience? Do you only talk to me when there's no one else around, no one better? At least tell me if I am, dammit! I don't like being used. I'm not a fucking doormat!
Chances are, half the people I'm addressing won't even read this, so therein proves my point. I'm going to be mosting this on my livejournal, gaia, xanga, and myspace. I probably will get comments like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! We need to hang out some more!" But we won't. Don't lie to me people. If you don't want to hang out with me, or have no intention to, then just SAY so.
Guess it's time to see who my real friends are. I wonder if they're going to be the people I thought they are. One thing's for sure: The number of people I call my friends is going to be drastically reduced.
(This was halfway between a rant and a chewing out. To my online friends: This doesn't apply to you.)