my cat
I've never dug a grave before.
Yesterday around 12:30 I get a phone call - my cat is being put to sleep at 2. So I met my family at the vet with Pebbles and we sat in the parking lot for a little bit and she seemed more alert than she has in a week, which made me feel worse. This last week she would barely move, walking very slowly only when she had to, and her eyes would stare off into space as though it was too much work to bring them to bear on anyone or thing in front of her.
The parking lot made me wonder if we werent moving to fast, if maybe she could pull through, and then when we started to go inside she gave one little sound; the only sound I've heard from her in a week. Mind you, my cat was only rarely vocal, but one of those rare times was the time two weeks ago when she first started getting bad.
Her little meow sounded like a plea to me - the one holding her, carrying her inside, to her death. The doctor inside was nice, almost too nice. He kept making little comments about how sweet she was and how he was sorry. But some of the things I just got annoyed with. He couldnt tell she was a little sweetie;I loved my cat but I would never consider her a little sweetie. She wasnt a mean cat but she never involved herself enough with people to be considered a sweetie.
Then he retrieved a syringe, poked her, released the poison and within moments she was gone...
We had a tractor, two shovels and a pickaxe, but no tape measure. We wanted it atleast 3 feet deep so we dug until the sides of the hole reached up to just below my waist. I liked the labor (especially the swing of the pick, I've always loved that motion...like chopping wood) and I liked the drive. Driving country roads always seems to calm me. Keith nailed the lid on the coffin and we placed it in the hole. Placed one sunflower on top, had a moment of silence and then covered it back in with dirt. Digging a grave isnt hard, I didnt really think about it, but watching the box dissappear was bad. We filled it in, flattened it out as best we could, lay more sunflowers on top and said our last goodbyes.
She's lying with Max and Sadie now, all three of them on top of the hill at the edge of the property my parents are going to start building on. Its the house they plan to grow old in. This way, the pets can be close to home. Although, I wondered if Pebbles might be stressed out by the move.
Yesterday around 12:30 I get a phone call - my cat is being put to sleep at 2. So I met my family at the vet with Pebbles and we sat in the parking lot for a little bit and she seemed more alert than she has in a week, which made me feel worse. This last week she would barely move, walking very slowly only when she had to, and her eyes would stare off into space as though it was too much work to bring them to bear on anyone or thing in front of her.
The parking lot made me wonder if we werent moving to fast, if maybe she could pull through, and then when we started to go inside she gave one little sound; the only sound I've heard from her in a week. Mind you, my cat was only rarely vocal, but one of those rare times was the time two weeks ago when she first started getting bad.
Her little meow sounded like a plea to me - the one holding her, carrying her inside, to her death. The doctor inside was nice, almost too nice. He kept making little comments about how sweet she was and how he was sorry. But some of the things I just got annoyed with. He couldnt tell she was a little sweetie;I loved my cat but I would never consider her a little sweetie. She wasnt a mean cat but she never involved herself enough with people to be considered a sweetie.
Then he retrieved a syringe, poked her, released the poison and within moments she was gone...
We had a tractor, two shovels and a pickaxe, but no tape measure. We wanted it atleast 3 feet deep so we dug until the sides of the hole reached up to just below my waist. I liked the labor (especially the swing of the pick, I've always loved that motion...like chopping wood) and I liked the drive. Driving country roads always seems to calm me. Keith nailed the lid on the coffin and we placed it in the hole. Placed one sunflower on top, had a moment of silence and then covered it back in with dirt. Digging a grave isnt hard, I didnt really think about it, but watching the box dissappear was bad. We filled it in, flattened it out as best we could, lay more sunflowers on top and said our last goodbyes.
She's lying with Max and Sadie now, all three of them on top of the hill at the edge of the property my parents are going to start building on. Its the house they plan to grow old in. This way, the pets can be close to home. Although, I wondered if Pebbles might be stressed out by the move.