good day, but no housewives
Lots of stuff going on..
first :
* we got a laundry machine
* we have cable *weee*
* i got a cute haircut
* my make up is cute .. more often than not... i'm playing
* housewives wasn't on tonight, well it was, but i was SO excited for a new episode, and it was a damn re-run. The worst part, the new one isn't until the one b4 valentines day.. this is lame.
* i want greg to be happy
* i watched garden state.. i'm in love with it. completely.
..you make me feel safe, like i'm home
* it's warm here
* i got <3 day candy for my house
so..
my grandmother called me. My dad's biological family found her, and wants to find me. He has a sister and a brother.
i dunno what to do.
i want to talk to them, so bad, i want to meet them. But it'll be hard seeing people that'll look so much like him. I kno i'll end up seeing them, but it's hard. I don't wanna be hurt anymore, I don't wanna worry about having to please people, and i don't know if i'll be what they expect. No, i don't care. I am who i am. But i'm the only real piece of my dad they'll get. Katie, she's young, she was 5 when he died.. i was 17. I knew him.. so, they are ganna ask about him. But they thing is i knew him, but i didn't know him... i don't know what happened in his world all during my high school years, i was really really shitty to him because i was hurt and sad that he wasn't around as much as i wanted him to be. There was a time when he lived on the street.. i had no idea till he died. He had a huge scar on his kneck.. from then. No one knows what happened. He got in a car accident and didn't want the money, why?? Who were his friends? people from na and aa, that didn't have much to say either, because they were fighting there own demons.. oh, and freddie prince jr's god father.. he was nice enough. L.A. man, they are crazy people. I wish i had my dad here to answer so many of the questions i have.. i want to know him better than i do. I wish so many things, but i'm not ganna get that time back. I want it soo bad. i don't think anyone can possibly get it.. why would someone leave a daughter for ... fuck. I don't wanna get into this, this is horrible. It breaks my heart when i think that he didn't want to ... god i dunno anymore.
*scream*
i want this to feel like home, i want to feel at home. I'm cooking and trying to make it feel at home. I need furniture. I need something... at least i have tyler and greg. Without the two of them here, i'd be a basket case.
dear lyss,
i'm going to bed, i'm exhausted... i'm sorry we didn't get to talk tonight. I close tomorrow. I will call on my way home from work.
i'm exhausted.
someone, please give me piece of mind, and a chance to mellow out. And .. uh, let me be sane again.
"new device to detect cervical cancer" - news
yay for the news.. when will they ever continue to report POSITIVE news. Like that, instead of attacks.. all over, and leave micheal jackson alone.
first :
* we got a laundry machine
* we have cable *weee*
* i got a cute haircut
* my make up is cute .. more often than not... i'm playing
* housewives wasn't on tonight, well it was, but i was SO excited for a new episode, and it was a damn re-run. The worst part, the new one isn't until the one b4 valentines day.. this is lame.
* i want greg to be happy
* i watched garden state.. i'm in love with it. completely.
..you make me feel safe, like i'm home
* it's warm here
* i got <3 day candy for my house
so..
my grandmother called me. My dad's biological family found her, and wants to find me. He has a sister and a brother.
i dunno what to do.
i want to talk to them, so bad, i want to meet them. But it'll be hard seeing people that'll look so much like him. I kno i'll end up seeing them, but it's hard. I don't wanna be hurt anymore, I don't wanna worry about having to please people, and i don't know if i'll be what they expect. No, i don't care. I am who i am. But i'm the only real piece of my dad they'll get. Katie, she's young, she was 5 when he died.. i was 17. I knew him.. so, they are ganna ask about him. But they thing is i knew him, but i didn't know him... i don't know what happened in his world all during my high school years, i was really really shitty to him because i was hurt and sad that he wasn't around as much as i wanted him to be. There was a time when he lived on the street.. i had no idea till he died. He had a huge scar on his kneck.. from then. No one knows what happened. He got in a car accident and didn't want the money, why?? Who were his friends? people from na and aa, that didn't have much to say either, because they were fighting there own demons.. oh, and freddie prince jr's god father.. he was nice enough. L.A. man, they are crazy people. I wish i had my dad here to answer so many of the questions i have.. i want to know him better than i do. I wish so many things, but i'm not ganna get that time back. I want it soo bad. i don't think anyone can possibly get it.. why would someone leave a daughter for ... fuck. I don't wanna get into this, this is horrible. It breaks my heart when i think that he didn't want to ... god i dunno anymore.
*scream*
i want this to feel like home, i want to feel at home. I'm cooking and trying to make it feel at home. I need furniture. I need something... at least i have tyler and greg. Without the two of them here, i'd be a basket case.
dear lyss,
i'm going to bed, i'm exhausted... i'm sorry we didn't get to talk tonight. I close tomorrow. I will call on my way home from work.
i'm exhausted.
someone, please give me piece of mind, and a chance to mellow out. And .. uh, let me be sane again.
"new device to detect cervical cancer" - news
yay for the news.. when will they ever continue to report POSITIVE news. Like that, instead of attacks.. all over, and leave micheal jackson alone.