Sunnydale, Revello Drive, October 26th, 2000
*ring*
"Xander's House Of Pizza, can I help you?"
"Everything okay back there, Xand?"
"Panic city. Chaos. Rush home immediately, Buffy. The Dawnster and I are playing Monopoly and she has both the blues. I could land on Boardwalk at any time."
"Your hardy-har-har is duly noted. Sorry - just... there's nothing I can do at the hospital right now, so I took a quick patrol, and ...nada."
"Not a vamp in sight, huh?"
"I could see if it were Halloween or something, but no. They just randomly all decided to stay home tonight to piss me off. And since I have no way to blow off steam--"
"I get a call from every payphone you can find, which normally would make me re-think that thing where I keep telling you to get a cell, but in this case I get it. Not a problem."
"Seriously, thanks so much for babysitting, Xander."
"Shh. Don't use the b-word. She might hear you."
"I HEARD THAT!"
"See? The phrase you're looking for is 'adult companionship.'"
"..."
"...Yeah, ok, no. The phrase you're looking for is 'board-game buddy.' It's all good. Could use a break from the roomie every so often, not that Larry's not, like a hundred percent improvement."
"You do know you're lucky Parker didn't press charges, right?"
"Yeah. And yet I find myself unimpressed by his attempt to pick up Amy while moving out of my room. Anyway, no worries. We'll play a few games, watch a little tv, and I'll get a chance to catch up on my homework after Dawn goes to bed."
"How's that, um. Going?"
*pause*
"Better, now that I'm actually doing it. Dam-- uh, darn your combined use of ... logic and stuff."
"I'm fourteen; you can say damn in front of me, you know."
"No, you can't. She'll just threaten to tell Mom later if you don't let her have ice cream."
"Not on him! Besides we already had ice cream HA!"
"Is she listening on the extension???! Dawn, hang up RIGHT NOW."
"Allow me, Buff. Dawn, if you get off the damn extension and promise not to tell your mom, I'll let you watch Z Cases with me. They're re-running the one about the liver-worm guy."
*click*
"...Can you game-night buddy her all the time?"
"You think they'd mind if I brought her along to the construction site? We could get her a little hard hat with Powderpuff Gals stickers on it..."
"Okay, okay, point. Hey, if you're still up when I get back, could we look at the algebra together maybe? I don't have mine done yet, and Willow... tends to explain it to me like she thinks I can understand it."
"I'm pretty sure that's 'cause you can, but happy to bring the questionable benefits of the extra year of high school in which I took no math to the study table."
"...Willow's not gonna stop trying, you know. And yes, that was totally a sequitur, please to not bullshit me."
"And the lack of mom-telling-threats you hear in the background would be proof of my superior game-night buddy skills."
"She's thought you were the next best thing to the New Kids on the Block since she was ten; you have an unfair advantage."
"Since-- Ah, yeah...right. Ten."
"Xander..."
"I'm good. Bullshit-free."
"You said bullshit in front of her. Dawn's looking at you like you are the New Kids on the Block now, isn't she."
"Possibly more like N'Sync."
"Bye, Xander. I'll call as soon as I hear anything, 'kay?"
"Please."
*click*
__
[locked to...special guest star.]
"Xander's House Of Pizza, can I help you?"
"Everything okay back there, Xand?"
"Panic city. Chaos. Rush home immediately, Buffy. The Dawnster and I are playing Monopoly and she has both the blues. I could land on Boardwalk at any time."
"Your hardy-har-har is duly noted. Sorry - just... there's nothing I can do at the hospital right now, so I took a quick patrol, and ...nada."
"Not a vamp in sight, huh?"
"I could see if it were Halloween or something, but no. They just randomly all decided to stay home tonight to piss me off. And since I have no way to blow off steam--"
"I get a call from every payphone you can find, which normally would make me re-think that thing where I keep telling you to get a cell, but in this case I get it. Not a problem."
"Seriously, thanks so much for babysitting, Xander."
"Shh. Don't use the b-word. She might hear you."
"I HEARD THAT!"
"See? The phrase you're looking for is 'adult companionship.'"
"..."
"...Yeah, ok, no. The phrase you're looking for is 'board-game buddy.' It's all good. Could use a break from the roomie every so often, not that Larry's not, like a hundred percent improvement."
"You do know you're lucky Parker didn't press charges, right?"
"Yeah. And yet I find myself unimpressed by his attempt to pick up Amy while moving out of my room. Anyway, no worries. We'll play a few games, watch a little tv, and I'll get a chance to catch up on my homework after Dawn goes to bed."
"How's that, um. Going?"
*pause*
"Better, now that I'm actually doing it. Dam-- uh, darn your combined use of ... logic and stuff."
"I'm fourteen; you can say damn in front of me, you know."
"No, you can't. She'll just threaten to tell Mom later if you don't let her have ice cream."
"Not on him! Besides we already had ice cream HA!"
"Is she listening on the extension???! Dawn, hang up RIGHT NOW."
"Allow me, Buff. Dawn, if you get off the damn extension and promise not to tell your mom, I'll let you watch Z Cases with me. They're re-running the one about the liver-worm guy."
*click*
"...Can you game-night buddy her all the time?"
"You think they'd mind if I brought her along to the construction site? We could get her a little hard hat with Powderpuff Gals stickers on it..."
"Okay, okay, point. Hey, if you're still up when I get back, could we look at the algebra together maybe? I don't have mine done yet, and Willow... tends to explain it to me like she thinks I can understand it."
"I'm pretty sure that's 'cause you can, but happy to bring the questionable benefits of the extra year of high school in which I took no math to the study table."
"...Willow's not gonna stop trying, you know. And yes, that was totally a sequitur, please to not bullshit me."
"And the lack of mom-telling-threats you hear in the background would be proof of my superior game-night buddy skills."
"She's thought you were the next best thing to the New Kids on the Block since she was ten; you have an unfair advantage."
"Since-- Ah, yeah...right. Ten."
"Xander..."
"I'm good. Bullshit-free."
"You said bullshit in front of her. Dawn's looking at you like you are the New Kids on the Block now, isn't she."
"Possibly more like N'Sync."
"Bye, Xander. I'll call as soon as I hear anything, 'kay?"
"Please."
*click*
__
[locked to...special guest star.]