4 E-mails That Didn't Go Through When Xander Harris Sent Them, And 1 That Did
From: xharris@ucsd.edu
- To: isabel.evans@fandomhigh.net
Date: Sept. 15th, 2000
Subject: Roommates
Just thought you should know you're in *no* danger of getting knocked out of the Best. Roomie. Ever. position anytime soon. The first one you don't even want to know about, and Larry's okay but he snores worse than me. Which I guess for a guy who used to beat me up in middle school is like a 100 percent improvement, but you still win, no contest.
love, Xander
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To: willow.rosenberg@fandomhigh.net
Date: Sept. 20th, 2000
Subject: Girls named Tara Boys named Parker
So this girl who used to be my Ethics teacher? You're totally going to the movies with her tonight. So that guy who made you hate Peter Parker without even knowing him? I totally punched him in the nose. I know you said Buffy took care of beating him with a stick, but that was your world; I felt I had to do my part in ours. Just thought it might perk up your day.
love, Xander
P.S. I am at this very moment using one of your pencils to make notes in my Algebra book. Except for where I'm typing, but now I'm going back to the notes thing.
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To: bridge.carson@fandomhigh.net
Date: October 6th, 2000
Subject: Homecoming
If they're having it the same week as they did last time, it's Homecoming Friday, and, well, I'm not there. (Unless I am. If I made it through next year or something and I'm peeking over your shoulder, just a year older? Ignore this. And whap me upside the head for eating that brie at Dean Guererra's student mixer thing yesterday because aaaghgh.)
I know I said I'd be there, and if I could think of any way to get me there, I would, but I got nothin'. Even looked up that place in the school handbook, portalocity.com, but just got a big old 404 page. And mapquest says "hahahahah what?" when I type in Fandom Island, Virginia.
If you gave up on hearing from me and you're going with somebody else, just... save me a dance? Just in case?
love you, Xander
p.s. I finally started my construction internship. Which amazingly pays actual money, even if most of it's running right back into room and board. Willow came out to the site to take pictures - I know you're shocked. You've already got one of me in leather and one as a cowboy; I figured you might as well collect the whole Village People set.
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To: bridge.carson@fandomhigh.net, m.parker@fandomhigh.net, john.crichton@fandomhigh.net
Date: October 18th, 2000
Subject: Oh, those wacky demons
Just in case you ever wondered if Sunnydale has wackery of the non-fatal, Fandomy variety, I got split into two of me this week. Okay granted the demon *was* trying to kill Buffy, but his near-miss is my...day spent knowing how Cam and John feel.
One of me dresses better than the other. Opinions are divided on which one of me that was.
~Xander
P.S. I SO DIDN'T SO STOP THINKING THAT.
P.P.S. I did get a picture before Willow put us back together, though.
P.P.P.S. NOT THAT KIND OF PICTURE.
P.P.P.S. ...Bridge, see other e-mail. Happy anniversary.
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To: wwyndam-pryce@lycos.com
Date: October 25th, 2000
Subject: Angel plus question
Willow said you're working with him, and there's no way in hell *this* version has e-mail, and there's no way in hell I'm calling him again, so could you pass this on, please?
No, I was not kidding, drunk, possessed, or frakking with his head. He can, just not if he's in danger of actually doing the perfect happiness thing. And there's a prophecy about the other thing - sorry I don't have any details on it, but he didn't even let me get *that* much out before he decided I was out of my mind. So yeah.
If he wants to know why, tell him it's the desire to prove that I will *always* be less of a dick than he is; he'll believe that easier than kindness of my heart.
And while we've got you, ever heard of something called a Dagon Sphere?
~Xander Harris