The Roof, 3:30 a.m.
Hey, it was quiet up there, at least outside Xander's head, and he wasn't in the mood to sleep. Twinkies might eat him.
To: willow.rosenberg@hogwarts.ac.uk
From: xander.harris@fandomhigh.edu
Subject: Catching up on my So Called alleged life
Dear Diary: today I was pompous, and my sister was crazy
Dear Willow:
Let's see, Friday night I did not lick the frog, but I did get to try on the Hat. Which immediately became a hat, and thus inexplicably less lickable, the second it was off the security guy's head and on mine. Strangely, the security guy did not get less li--
...and on mine. But hey, he distracted m--
...I did get to try on the Hat, while I was distracting him from investigating what was really going on, which was a big ol vampire-hunting commando rai--
...big old study group party. You know. The kind we used to tell your mom we were having. Which I think the admins know about now but not sure, and might as well not spell it out just in case the wireless in this place is bugged. I've managed to get through two principals now without exchanging a single spoken word, let alone a detention; a trifecta would be great.
Saturday? Oh, Saturday I burst into random spell-induced song and serenaded my roommate with things that I wouldn't even tell you, mostly because I wouldn't even tell me them, mostly involving the relative lickability of hats vs. mounties vs. whoa-hi arms, and then she laughed, which honestly didn't bother me because I was too busy unsuccessfully fighting TOTAL MENTAL BREAKDOWN as I pretty much am right at this moment and predict I'll be for the next five years or so at least, but I'm not gonna turn down the free apology-doughnuts. Would you?
...Saturday there was a little screwiness with a music spell, but I got around it by sticking tape over my mouth, which made everybody happy, I'm sure. You've heard me sing.
And BTW, what kind of idiot casts a spell that turns an entire town into a (mostly) living broadway extravaganza? What a fuckstick.
...What a moron.
And then I spent the night in Angel's room and Lee didn't, muahaha which kind of disappointed me because whoa hi arms there was a party that kind of lasted til the wee hours and I was totally trying to avoid ever seeing my roommate aga--
...wee hours and I kind of crashed on the floor. Waking up in the same room as Angel again? Weird. Confirmed one thing I remembered from the Angelus days: his hair is pretty much perfect from the second he rolls out of bed. All that primping? Complete waste of time. NEVER TELL HIM THIS.
I didn't bet on the Superbowl. I know you're shocked. This means I didn't lose on the Superbowl, so there you are.
And thus was my weekend. And today I followed that thrill-packed adventure up by continuing to fight COMPLETE MENTAL BREAKDOWN - wait, did I delete that bit? - in Shop class, where due to Crichton, Twinkies, and my mouth, I totally lost that battle, Creature Languages where I think we pulled a draw, and Magical Theory where thank God there was no one there to remind me of the COMPLETE etc. except now that I think about it Krycek who, well, there was this thing with the Lumberjack Song and--
...And thus was my weekend. Today was pretty slow. I was supposed to go to the Weird Hometown Support Group and totally forgot, and we're doing a play about pirates and ninjas and when I say we I mean of course people who are not me because I'm never going near a stage again in my life thank you Snyder, and as for music, see above re COMPLETE MENTAL BR--
...and as for music, well, you've heard me sing.
And then I came up here to the roof to hang out away from humanity and other people who go to this school, and got an e-mail about a Valentine's Day support group and laughed and laughed and laughed and fought COMPL--
...and figured what the heck, at least there's nobody more qualified than me to give them tips on what not to do for a good time on the Day of Hell.
And then I Googled 'Royal Canadian Mounted Police' because... I'm really not sure why. They do have nice ha--
...they do have form-fitting unif--
...they do have a really cool benefits package, and it's not like I've got a ton of other career opportunities knocking on my door when I graduate.
Okay, fine, there was also this one picture of a bunch of guys in red on horseback that, well, total mental breakdown aside, and let me tell you, repression of everything traumatizing events is working just fine for me as a psychological tool, thank you; I do not need to examine whatever the hell some stupid spell thought I might have been thinking about hats or arms or --
Dear Willow:
Actually, my weekend was kind of boring. What did you do?
~Xander
P.S. Jeremiah says to tell you hi and I did not lick him.
To: willow.rosenberg@hogwarts.ac.uk
From: xander.harris@fandomhigh.edu
Subject: Catching up on my So Called alleged life
Dear Diary: today I was pompous, and my sister was crazy
Dear Willow:
Let's see, Friday night I did not lick the frog, but I did get to try on the Hat. Which immediately became a hat, and thus inexplicably less lickable, the second it was off the security guy's head and on mine. Strangely, the security guy did not get less li--
...and on mine. But hey, he distracted m--
...I did get to try on the Hat, while I was distracting him from investigating what was really going on, which was a big ol vampire-hunting commando rai--
...big old study group party. You know. The kind we used to tell your mom we were having. Which I think the admins know about now but not sure, and might as well not spell it out just in case the wireless in this place is bugged. I've managed to get through two principals now without exchanging a single spoken word, let alone a detention; a trifecta would be great.
Saturday? Oh, Saturday I burst into random spell-induced song and serenaded my roommate with things that I wouldn't even tell you, mostly because I wouldn't even tell me them, mostly involving the relative lickability of hats vs. mounties vs. whoa-hi arms, and then she laughed, which honestly didn't bother me because I was too busy unsuccessfully fighting TOTAL MENTAL BREAKDOWN as I pretty much am right at this moment and predict I'll be for the next five years or so at least, but I'm not gonna turn down the free apology-doughnuts. Would you?
...Saturday there was a little screwiness with a music spell, but I got around it by sticking tape over my mouth, which made everybody happy, I'm sure. You've heard me sing.
And BTW, what kind of idiot casts a spell that turns an entire town into a (mostly) living broadway extravaganza? What a fuckstick.
...What a moron.
And then I spent the night in Angel's room and Lee didn't, muahaha which kind of disappointed me because whoa hi arms there was a party that kind of lasted til the wee hours and I was totally trying to avoid ever seeing my roommate aga--
...wee hours and I kind of crashed on the floor. Waking up in the same room as Angel again? Weird. Confirmed one thing I remembered from the Angelus days: his hair is pretty much perfect from the second he rolls out of bed. All that primping? Complete waste of time. NEVER TELL HIM THIS.
I didn't bet on the Superbowl. I know you're shocked. This means I didn't lose on the Superbowl, so there you are.
And thus was my weekend. And today I followed that thrill-packed adventure up by continuing to fight COMPLETE MENTAL BREAKDOWN - wait, did I delete that bit? - in Shop class, where due to Crichton, Twinkies, and my mouth, I totally lost that battle, Creature Languages where I think we pulled a draw, and Magical Theory where thank God there was no one there to remind me of the COMPLETE etc. except now that I think about it Krycek who, well, there was this thing with the Lumberjack Song and--
...And thus was my weekend. Today was pretty slow. I was supposed to go to the Weird Hometown Support Group and totally forgot, and we're doing a play about pirates and ninjas and when I say we I mean of course people who are not me because I'm never going near a stage again in my life thank you Snyder, and as for music, see above re COMPLETE MENTAL BR--
...and as for music, well, you've heard me sing.
And then I came up here to the roof to hang out away from humanity and other people who go to this school, and got an e-mail about a Valentine's Day support group and laughed and laughed and laughed and fought COMPL--
...and figured what the heck, at least there's nobody more qualified than me to give them tips on what not to do for a good time on the Day of Hell.
And then I Googled 'Royal Canadian Mounted Police' because... I'm really not sure why. They do have nice ha--
...they do have form-fitting unif--
...they do have a really cool benefits package, and it's not like I've got a ton of other career opportunities knocking on my door when I graduate.
Okay, fine, there was also this one picture of a bunch of guys in red on horseback that, well, total mental breakdown aside, and let me tell you, repression of everything traumatizing events is working just fine for me as a psychological tool, thank you; I do not need to examine whatever the hell some stupid spell thought I might have been thinking about hats or arms or --
Dear Willow:
Actually, my weekend was kind of boring. What did you do?
~Xander
P.S. Jeremiah says to tell you hi and I did not lick him.