Dear Immune System,
Dear Immune System,
That is if you are still going by that name? Or maybe it is that you have forgotten your job description? If so I shall remind you;
You are supposed to kick in whenever I am exposed to various germs and viri so that I do not get sick, or at the very least, do not get very sick.
Therefore I have no alternative to issue with a formal written warning as you have failed to do your job properly. This will not be tolerated.
Over the last month you have:
1. Failed to deal with the rapidly forming absess under one of my back molars. I had to resort to antibiotics, which as you know, gives me that DELIGHTFUL infection down below known as thrush. Thanks for that.
2. Became slow on the uptake when I was exposed to a cold virus 3 weeks ago. OK, in your defense it was a mild head cold which developed into an irritating cough but still, it was most inconvenient.
3. Totally ignored the vomiting virus which infiltrated my body 8 days ago and as such my weekend off work was spent in bed with a bucket by my side.
4. Just this week you have decided to go on strike right at the very time some nice kind soul spread their horrendous cold germs to me. As a result I now have one of the worst head colds that I have had in years. My chest feels that it is on the edge of tipping into chest infection territory. My voice has gone awol and my head feels like it is about to explode. Please be a dear and sort out my temperature; it seems to be varying between raging hot and icy cold. Oh and if you could, do something about the aches; I am possibly leaning towards liver failure with the amount of paracetamol I have taken over the last 4 days.
So, I request of you, that for the next 7 days, you actually do your job and keep me well. I have ONE week off work before I start my new job. I would like to enjoy it and maybe have a few days doing fun things with my family rather than shivering in a corner feeling sorry for myself.
Thats all. Thanks.
That is if you are still going by that name? Or maybe it is that you have forgotten your job description? If so I shall remind you;
You are supposed to kick in whenever I am exposed to various germs and viri so that I do not get sick, or at the very least, do not get very sick.
Therefore I have no alternative to issue with a formal written warning as you have failed to do your job properly. This will not be tolerated.
Over the last month you have:
1. Failed to deal with the rapidly forming absess under one of my back molars. I had to resort to antibiotics, which as you know, gives me that DELIGHTFUL infection down below known as thrush. Thanks for that.
2. Became slow on the uptake when I was exposed to a cold virus 3 weeks ago. OK, in your defense it was a mild head cold which developed into an irritating cough but still, it was most inconvenient.
3. Totally ignored the vomiting virus which infiltrated my body 8 days ago and as such my weekend off work was spent in bed with a bucket by my side.
4. Just this week you have decided to go on strike right at the very time some nice kind soul spread their horrendous cold germs to me. As a result I now have one of the worst head colds that I have had in years. My chest feels that it is on the edge of tipping into chest infection territory. My voice has gone awol and my head feels like it is about to explode. Please be a dear and sort out my temperature; it seems to be varying between raging hot and icy cold. Oh and if you could, do something about the aches; I am possibly leaning towards liver failure with the amount of paracetamol I have taken over the last 4 days.
So, I request of you, that for the next 7 days, you actually do your job and keep me well. I have ONE week off work before I start my new job. I would like to enjoy it and maybe have a few days doing fun things with my family rather than shivering in a corner feeling sorry for myself.
Thats all. Thanks.