What would you do...
What would you do if I told you something about me that no one knows...what would you do if you found out the truth about something that even I'm not sure of. What would you do if I told you everything that was on my mind. What would you do if I poured my heart and soul out to you. What would you do if I told you things no one else knows about me...what would you do if I told you all my fears, beliefs, goals, worries, everything that makes me happy, everything that makes me sad or angry, how I feel when someone ignores me or treats me like crap. What would you do if I let you in, if I knocked the walls down, completely, for good, and started over...with you...What would you do if I gave in, if I let myself feel that deeply for you...what would you do if I gave my life for you. What would you do if I said I'd give it all, I'd give for us, I'd give everything...but I won't give up...not on you, not on me, not on us...What would you do...
What would you do if you knew I stayed up until all hours of the night when I had to be at work at 5:45am the next day and all I was doing was crying...not crying because you hurt me or because I'm upset with you, crying because I'm so afraid of losing you that I think the only way to hold onto you is to keep you at a safe distance by upsetting you. What would you do if you found out the reason why I act the way I do, why I "suck in my gut" when I'm around you is because I don't want to be the disappointment I always was to my father, to you...what would you do if I told you I've been crying the whole time I've been typing this...What would you do...
Why is love such a double-edged sword...and both ends are laced with the most excruciating circumstances anyone could ever imagine. When you think everything is all fine and dandy, something always pops up and bites you in the ass. I know some things can be prevented by thinking before speaking while others are just a matter of fate, but this end of the sword needs a lot of help. My life as I know it, well, I can't even really call it a life. It's completely a mess. It's not even close to being what I want it to be...and neither is my relationship. I'm not going to go on, whining and complaining about how depressed and fucked up I am...what I will go on about is that I have sent my Resume out to as many Vet's offices, Wildlife Centers, ect that I could find on the web and I am applying at M&T Bank. Wish me luck! I have a good feeling about the bank thing. It'd be a new experience. I am trying to better myself and put my life back on track...it's just been taking a while...but I'm getting there.
Anyhoo...as for what the majority of this blog is about, it's just another bump in the road that I caused, again...I just feel so...icky sometimes...there's no other way to describe it...blah and icky.
Whatever
I need to go to bed...I have to work at 5:45am tomorrow and I already passed out once today...
Whatever
Reply/message/comment/ignore/call/or whatever to this if you feel the need...I'd like it if you gave me your thoughts on everything I've said above...
Goodbye
What would you do if you knew I stayed up until all hours of the night when I had to be at work at 5:45am the next day and all I was doing was crying...not crying because you hurt me or because I'm upset with you, crying because I'm so afraid of losing you that I think the only way to hold onto you is to keep you at a safe distance by upsetting you. What would you do if you found out the reason why I act the way I do, why I "suck in my gut" when I'm around you is because I don't want to be the disappointment I always was to my father, to you...what would you do if I told you I've been crying the whole time I've been typing this...What would you do...
Why is love such a double-edged sword...and both ends are laced with the most excruciating circumstances anyone could ever imagine. When you think everything is all fine and dandy, something always pops up and bites you in the ass. I know some things can be prevented by thinking before speaking while others are just a matter of fate, but this end of the sword needs a lot of help. My life as I know it, well, I can't even really call it a life. It's completely a mess. It's not even close to being what I want it to be...and neither is my relationship. I'm not going to go on, whining and complaining about how depressed and fucked up I am...what I will go on about is that I have sent my Resume out to as many Vet's offices, Wildlife Centers, ect that I could find on the web and I am applying at M&T Bank. Wish me luck! I have a good feeling about the bank thing. It'd be a new experience. I am trying to better myself and put my life back on track...it's just been taking a while...but I'm getting there.
Anyhoo...as for what the majority of this blog is about, it's just another bump in the road that I caused, again...I just feel so...icky sometimes...there's no other way to describe it...blah and icky.
Whatever
I need to go to bed...I have to work at 5:45am tomorrow and I already passed out once today...
Whatever
Reply/message/comment/ignore/call/or whatever to this if you feel the need...I'd like it if you gave me your thoughts on everything I've said above...
Goodbye