be careful what you wish for...
it's been almost 4 weeks and by now journal you'd be getting the runthru of how i fell in love what happened, how it started, developed and of course - how it ended... this one is different
People don't always get what they want, somehow i did. I said i want Edward and i got one, a perfect gentalman who opens my car door and is careful when closing it, parades me around like im a prize and just stares at me-and only me. He's kind, thoughtful, considerate and always watching me like im something that is gonna break. I wanted a good family, great traditions and history, a past in their life, and a future worth sticking around for and here he is. i wanted passion, excitement, loyalty, someone who wouldn't run away and can say they like me and take it just as hapily when i say it back. Someone who isn't afaid to tell the world were together and something that isn't scary.... tall, goofy, with a great smile and beautiful eyes and best of all he SPARKLES
I found my edward lol however it's now how you think. Im not "IN LOVE" or "LUST" im just a girl who likes a boy - a boy that is leaving. My walls are higher than ever but after 4 heart breaks in the past 6 months i can't even begin to start to explain how scared i am but im trying, i really think i am. i tell myself to shut up everytime i get scared and want to run away and i try not to think of what happens in August. FML i've been dating too many lawyers-to-be and i think too many belen boys but i like it.
i love running into his house and jumping in my corner of the bed, talking all day about stepbrothers, and being locked up in our own little world in his segregated house. Its fun when it's just us 4 but then it's us 2 and i throwup on myself. I HATE DATES, and dating and i hate that i don't remember what it's supposed to feel like the weird akward things we say and do and most of all the akward* but i guess it comes with the teritory, i think if we can power thru this it will be fun! i mean after all he had a 4 year relationship i had a 3 year one we obviously know how to make this work im just so scared of it happening all over again....
.kevin.eric.andy.jose.
i refuse to add another one to my list of broken hearts, false hopes, and disappointments.