have you ever ...
had a night so perfect that you woke up and thought it was a dream ? ... i have an now that im aware that i was awake and it was real and not a dream it seems to be as if it were a nightmare because it wasn't with you. We went to the grove to sandbar then to boardwalk, a balcony view of miami followed at pedros apt then we left and before i took him home an image came to my mind. one that i haven't seen since i was maybe 6 or so. "Take me some where" he said
"Where?" i responded
"Any where.''
So i did. It was almost 5 by now and we parked at the lake and put the top down. We listened to music and talked for hours, we watched the sunrise and finally for some reason-prob the fear that my mother would call- we went home. He said it was the most romantic night he'd ever had and i laughed b/c it was funny that a person could think and feel that & say it out loud. It was almost funny the night and i mean funny in a sinister way. As i left his house i could only think of one thing, i spoke mostly of it the whole night and when i was finally home and ready to let my dreams overtake my reality it was all you. i woke up saturday morning to get my mani, pedi and still only thought of you. Typically after a night like that i would be goo goo eyed for days (sometimes even weeks) to come but this time was different. And this is why and how i know it's different this time. I don't have eyes for anyone else, i don't have the desire to do things i would normally do. I sat at a family party and just ready my book to stop the tears that filled my eyes from exploding. Im not giving up, not w/o a fight and what happened this summer was not a fight. We had problems but who doesn't ? You don't get it. you don't understand and im not sure what will make you finally realize it.
Your right, when you told me last week that i deserved better, i do. I deserve better than what you did to me this summer but you also deserve better. You deserve to be the guy you were before and not who you are with her. Your diff, you've changed and i want more than anything to go back to how things were in the begining. You've said a million times all the things that make sense to me now, what we had was special, it was different from other relationships. Our story was one of a kind, and like you told me looks fade but what you have with someone lasts a lifetime. You asked me to move in with you money or no money and if u asked again i would say yes in a heartbeat. You told me this x-mas you were going to come to my house with a ring, and i still picture that happening. Deep down i always thought it would happen that way. You told me you didn't want me to be my bf that the next thing you wanted from me was a proposal. I still see it that way, im older now im not a teenager anymore im an adult and im realizing thing now that i didn't understand before. I just don't see how you have given her a chance but you never gave me one. We broke up twice and we got back together b/c we did, b/c it was what you wanted and i never asked for a second change it was just something that happened. This is me telling you that i want that chance and when your ready to give it to me, i'll still be here. in a week, in a month, in a year. i'll always be here waiting for you because this time it's a love i actually understand. No feelings of wow he's cute, or who's that compare. and i finally get it. You stayed by my side for 3 years while i tried to understand what was going on and if it takes that i'll do the same, because you deserve it.
"Where?" i responded
"Any where.''
So i did. It was almost 5 by now and we parked at the lake and put the top down. We listened to music and talked for hours, we watched the sunrise and finally for some reason-prob the fear that my mother would call- we went home. He said it was the most romantic night he'd ever had and i laughed b/c it was funny that a person could think and feel that & say it out loud. It was almost funny the night and i mean funny in a sinister way. As i left his house i could only think of one thing, i spoke mostly of it the whole night and when i was finally home and ready to let my dreams overtake my reality it was all you. i woke up saturday morning to get my mani, pedi and still only thought of you. Typically after a night like that i would be goo goo eyed for days (sometimes even weeks) to come but this time was different. And this is why and how i know it's different this time. I don't have eyes for anyone else, i don't have the desire to do things i would normally do. I sat at a family party and just ready my book to stop the tears that filled my eyes from exploding. Im not giving up, not w/o a fight and what happened this summer was not a fight. We had problems but who doesn't ? You don't get it. you don't understand and im not sure what will make you finally realize it.
Your right, when you told me last week that i deserved better, i do. I deserve better than what you did to me this summer but you also deserve better. You deserve to be the guy you were before and not who you are with her. Your diff, you've changed and i want more than anything to go back to how things were in the begining. You've said a million times all the things that make sense to me now, what we had was special, it was different from other relationships. Our story was one of a kind, and like you told me looks fade but what you have with someone lasts a lifetime. You asked me to move in with you money or no money and if u asked again i would say yes in a heartbeat. You told me this x-mas you were going to come to my house with a ring, and i still picture that happening. Deep down i always thought it would happen that way. You told me you didn't want me to be my bf that the next thing you wanted from me was a proposal. I still see it that way, im older now im not a teenager anymore im an adult and im realizing thing now that i didn't understand before. I just don't see how you have given her a chance but you never gave me one. We broke up twice and we got back together b/c we did, b/c it was what you wanted and i never asked for a second change it was just something that happened. This is me telling you that i want that chance and when your ready to give it to me, i'll still be here. in a week, in a month, in a year. i'll always be here waiting for you because this time it's a love i actually understand. No feelings of wow he's cute, or who's that compare. and i finally get it. You stayed by my side for 3 years while i tried to understand what was going on and if it takes that i'll do the same, because you deserve it.