Sorry but I have to get it out

[sokrbabe]

Ok, this is going to be a down in the dumps entry cuz that's how I've been for the past few days. Alison moved to N.C. on Friday; I didn't sleep much last week b/c of nightmares; found out yesterday that the love of my life has moved in w/ her 50-yr.-old gf!!!! Basically, the last thing is only for convenience, but the old lady is NO GOOD for her! I miss her so much it consumes me! When I'm around her, I feel soooo good, but that only happens rarely if that often. What makes it even worse is I know that she thinks about me as often as I think about her, but she just doesn't want to be w/ me right now. It is driving me crazy. I am TRYING to get over it considering it's been over 6 months since we broke up, but it just won't go away. I want to date other people, but I don't FEEL anything w/ anyone else. I have connected w/ a couple of people in the interim, but there's no real spark. I would like to be a playa but it's just not in me. I was doing so well when I was ignoring the pain and loneliness. Maybe the holidays are just too overwhelming for me to ignore the pain anymore. I can't wait to graduate and get out of here. Maybe then, I will be able to drown myself in work and get on with life.
All I know is I'm more than ready for the new year. I am anxiously awaiting my trip to LA. I have even thought about what to pack (a 1st for me)! Well, hopefully this regurgitation of what's in my head will help me out of my blues.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!