Open Letter
Dear iTunes Music Store,
I hate you.
Everything started out nice enough. I'd use you to search for new music and then go and download it (illegally and for free) on Bearshare. If I couldn't find a song on Bearshare I'd come back to you and purchase it. I even purchased Ashlee Simpson's "Autobiography" from you, which is currently #21 on my Top 25 Most Played. Oh, iTunes Music Store, we coulda worked it out. We coulda had a great time.
But no.
Our relationship started going sour when I attempted to purchase Bob Schneider's song "Madeline" from you so I could put it on a mix to give to my mom as a gift. After I purchased the aforementioned song you went and froze on me in the middle of downloading. I restarted my computer but it was too late. The damage was done. The download did not restart so I was out .99 with no song to show for my money. I went crawling back on my hands and knees to Bearshare and yes, Bearshare took me back!! Bearshare didn't freeze in the middle of "Madeline!"
After the "Madeline" downloading fiasco, I decided to give you another chance and purchase something else from you. At the top of your homepage in the search box I typed in "Keane," perfectly ready to shell out .99 for a nice copy of "Somewhere Only We Know." But lo and behold! A notice popped up--WE COULD NOT COMPLETE YOUR MUSIC STORE REQUEST. AN UNKNOWN ERROR OCCURED (-206). THERE WAS AN ERROR IN THE MUSIC STORE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER. I didn't panic. There were plenty of other songs I wanted. I typed in "Beck." Same thing. "Weezer." No dice. "Mariah Carey." NO NO NO!!! NONE OF IT WORKED!!!
Ok, ok. So I knew my downloading options were cut in half because I couldn't search for songs but I didn't give up on you yet, iTunes Music Store. I discovered that I could still purchase music if you had a link to the song on your homepage. So, I bode (bided?!) my time and waited for a song to pop up on your list of specials and Top 10 that I really liked. And then today, I saw it. An offer for a free download of Relient K's "Be My Escape"! Hooray! I prepared myself to download the song but when I clicked the "purchase" button you prompted me to a screen that said "PLEASE DOWNLOAD THIS FREE ITUNES UPGRADE TO CONTINUE PURCHASING FROM THE MUSIC STORE." Ok, ok, I thought to myself. It's 5 minutes before I'm supposed to leave for class but I can upgrade! There's always time to upgrade! I followed all the directions you gave me and restarted my computer so my upgrade would take effect. It was now 4 minutes after I was supposed to leave for class (I had to walk all the way to 194 Mercer Street, and I don't think you understand how far that is from Uhall, iTunes Music Store). After my computer came back on I quickly found the link to the Relient K song and anxiously waited for my new song to download. But, well, you prompted me to the same download screen. Even though I just downloaded the upgrade FIVE MINUTES AGO!!!! So I tried again. Class was about to start but I was on a mission. I downloaded the upgrade, restarted my computer, and attempted to open you up, iTunes Music Store. And what happened next? I think you know. You wouldn't open. No. No. You wouldn't open, my friend, iTunes Music Store, because, yes, your mother, iTunes herself, wouldn't even open. No iTunes. No more iTunes.
Now tell me, iTunes music store, what's the point of having a freaking iPod if you don't have iTunes??!?!?!?!?!?!?!! It's just a hunk of plastic that way!!!!
Gah, I give up.
Sincerely,
Laura Marchesani
I hate you.
Everything started out nice enough. I'd use you to search for new music and then go and download it (illegally and for free) on Bearshare. If I couldn't find a song on Bearshare I'd come back to you and purchase it. I even purchased Ashlee Simpson's "Autobiography" from you, which is currently #21 on my Top 25 Most Played. Oh, iTunes Music Store, we coulda worked it out. We coulda had a great time.
But no.
Our relationship started going sour when I attempted to purchase Bob Schneider's song "Madeline" from you so I could put it on a mix to give to my mom as a gift. After I purchased the aforementioned song you went and froze on me in the middle of downloading. I restarted my computer but it was too late. The damage was done. The download did not restart so I was out .99 with no song to show for my money. I went crawling back on my hands and knees to Bearshare and yes, Bearshare took me back!! Bearshare didn't freeze in the middle of "Madeline!"
After the "Madeline" downloading fiasco, I decided to give you another chance and purchase something else from you. At the top of your homepage in the search box I typed in "Keane," perfectly ready to shell out .99 for a nice copy of "Somewhere Only We Know." But lo and behold! A notice popped up--WE COULD NOT COMPLETE YOUR MUSIC STORE REQUEST. AN UNKNOWN ERROR OCCURED (-206). THERE WAS AN ERROR IN THE MUSIC STORE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER. I didn't panic. There were plenty of other songs I wanted. I typed in "Beck." Same thing. "Weezer." No dice. "Mariah Carey." NO NO NO!!! NONE OF IT WORKED!!!
Ok, ok. So I knew my downloading options were cut in half because I couldn't search for songs but I didn't give up on you yet, iTunes Music Store. I discovered that I could still purchase music if you had a link to the song on your homepage. So, I bode (bided?!) my time and waited for a song to pop up on your list of specials and Top 10 that I really liked. And then today, I saw it. An offer for a free download of Relient K's "Be My Escape"! Hooray! I prepared myself to download the song but when I clicked the "purchase" button you prompted me to a screen that said "PLEASE DOWNLOAD THIS FREE ITUNES UPGRADE TO CONTINUE PURCHASING FROM THE MUSIC STORE." Ok, ok, I thought to myself. It's 5 minutes before I'm supposed to leave for class but I can upgrade! There's always time to upgrade! I followed all the directions you gave me and restarted my computer so my upgrade would take effect. It was now 4 minutes after I was supposed to leave for class (I had to walk all the way to 194 Mercer Street, and I don't think you understand how far that is from Uhall, iTunes Music Store). After my computer came back on I quickly found the link to the Relient K song and anxiously waited for my new song to download. But, well, you prompted me to the same download screen. Even though I just downloaded the upgrade FIVE MINUTES AGO!!!! So I tried again. Class was about to start but I was on a mission. I downloaded the upgrade, restarted my computer, and attempted to open you up, iTunes Music Store. And what happened next? I think you know. You wouldn't open. No. No. You wouldn't open, my friend, iTunes Music Store, because, yes, your mother, iTunes herself, wouldn't even open. No iTunes. No more iTunes.
Now tell me, iTunes music store, what's the point of having a freaking iPod if you don't have iTunes??!?!?!?!?!?!?!! It's just a hunk of plastic that way!!!!
Gah, I give up.
Sincerely,
Laura Marchesani