(no subject)
I don't think I realised how lonely moving would be. I mean, Hussian and I get along great. I feel more settled into the apartment each day. And she's so straightforward that I'll doubt we'll have like, roommate issues. Her cat still doesn't like me, but I'm slowly winning him over.
It's just... well, I'm still looking for a job. Well. Putting off looking for a job. It's just, Moncton was never the city I wanted to move to, you know? Even if it was, oh I don't know. How do you meet people?
It's so frigging easy in stories or movies or shows. Person walks into a bar, lonely and alone. Meets eyes with the person who'll be their best friend/love interest/access to ready made group of awesome friends. 'Ch. I know there are places that people go. Bars and Triangles and all that. There's gotta be places for shows and there's a university (though for francophones) which means there has to be students right? I just... It's too late to regret this.
But I have no idea what I'm doing. And the nights when Hussian is out with her boyfriend the apartment is well, kind of lonely. I miss people.
Well, no. Because I'm freaking neurotic around people and I second-guess myself all the time. Not Hussian, thankfully. I've never second-guessed myself around her. But she's pretty much the exception.
I like doing things. I like meeting people, and trying new things, and having a good time and making good nights of it. I'm just really really bad at it. That's why I spent the last year hiding in my mom's house. That's why I've spent the last three days willingly distracting myself with anything that I could instead of actually doing something.
Why am I not doing something? I know this isn't permanent. The plan is to make money, maybe go to Magic Mountain a few times, live with someone I get along with really well and then re-evaluate (is that the word?) at the end of the summer. Or whenever. I just feel...more useless then I did in Cape Breton. At least there, I knew where everything was and how little there was to do.
I'm turning into a hermit. Or maybe asocial. How does that even make sense since I hate being alone?
*headdesk* I am the most aggravating person I know.
And I'm terrified I won't find a job. (So obviously, I'm saving myself that terror by not...looking. Yeah, I know how little sense that makes.)