The Mummy's Hand starring softbluebuddy
I feel like I am living in a horror movie. Maybe the one called the Mummy’s hand or something. Or some movie where it is the hand that is doing the thing, not the person.
For the last two or three months I have had increasing numbness in my arms and hands. It is weird because I had neck surgery last August and the pain that I was experiencing is gone but now I have this numbness that makes it feel like someone else’s arms/hands are attached to my body.
I still function, I can type and cook and I have okay strength in comparison to what I had before my surgery, but every day it is a little worse. I poked all of my fingers and the heels of my hands with a needle and I could feel it a little but it wasn’t sharp.
It is very surreal seeing my hands doing stuff but not really feeling the sensations of the doing.
I was scheduled for my third post-surgical follow up in March, but when this first started I got my neurosurgeon to work me into his schedule in the beginning of January then we had too much snow at our house that I couldn’t get my car out to drive the 50 miles to his office. The scheduler told me I’d have to wait till March they couldn’t work me in *again* like the snow was my fault or something.
I talked to the scheduler today and she will talk to the doctor about getting me in sooner than the 2 or 3 weeks we are currently dealing with.
Since it gets worse when I lay down I have been staying up until about 2 am every night and going to bed so exhausted that I practically pass out because once I lay down both arms start tingling and almost humming like when your leg falls asleep and it is waking up, but I have it in both arms and I can’t get back to sleep.
That is why I am on the internet so much. I am afraid to lay down and the sleep deprivation is starting to get to me again. I think my medical stuff and what has been going on with my dad since the beginning of December is about to push me over the edge.
I know I usually try to be chipper and humorous when commenting in my journal but today I just don’t feel up to it.